"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

Oh, dammit.

We lost an icon today, Denizens.  Larry Harmon, whom I know for a fact you all know better as Bozo the Clown, has passed away of congestive heart failure.  He was 83.

He wasn't the original Bozo, and certainly there have been others who donned the orange-frizzed wig, huge cherry-red nose, the red, white and powder-blue outfit and the size 83AAA (his words) - but no one played the character better.

"I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet, (people) would never be able to forget those footprints," he said.

The Realm's prayers are with the Harmon family tonight.  We loved Larry, and he will be sorely missed.

Item:  Jessica Simpson was spotted wearing a t-shirt that said, and I quote, "Real Girls Eat Meat".

Item:  It pissed PETA off.  Good. 

Item:  Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever she humps next tries a rip job on Jessica.  Rumor has it that the "choice" name she called Jessica was "whore".

Yeah.  You read right.  Jessica Simpson got called a "whore" by Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever's-next.

Must...fight...urge...to...aw, hell with it.

And now some good  news for a change:

A suburban Houston homeowner was cleared by a grand jury Monday for fatally shooting two men he suspected of burglarizing his neighbor's home.

Joe Horn, 62, shot the men in November after he saw them crawling out the windows of a neighbor's house in the Houston suburb of Pasadena, carrying bags of the neighbor's possessions.

Why yes, we are  our neighbor's keeper here in Texas.  Why do you ask? 

Mr. Horn, a retired grandfather, called 911 and told the dispatcher he had a shotgun and was going to kill them. The dispatcher pleaded with him not to go outside,

Because as we all know - when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

but Mr. Horn confronted the men with a 12-gauge shotgun and shot both in the back.

Points taken off for style, to be sure, but the two dead goblins mitigate that quite substantially, I would say.

"The message we're trying to send today is the criminal-justice system works," Harris County District Attorney Kenneth Magidson said.

Actually, it sounds more like you're sending the message that fuckheaded goblin perps aren't going to get an even break in Harris County.

Which is just fine with us, we're pleased to announce.  Just fine with us. 

The two suspected burglars, Hernando Riascos Torres, 38, and Diego Ortiz, 30, were unemployed illegal immigrants from Colombia. Mr. Torres was deported to Colombia in 1999 after a 1994 cocaine-related conviction.

LSIK&T:  Kor, any response from the meter?

KORRIOTH:  No, m'Lord - it must be broken.  Here, have a look:

LSIK&T:  No, Captain, I believe this fine piece of equipment is in perfect working order. 

UPDATE:  As usual, Misha - having far more time, on balance, than your humble correspondent to layeth the smacketh down on GFWs like All Barack Crap (all the time) News - has once again cranketh'd out a gem, and you are advised to go read it at your earliest convenience.

Denizens, your homework assignment for the rest of the weekend is to go read this Joseph Farah column.

Then go out and do it.

I already have. 

So Dallas' growing reputation as Loserville (a little Randy Galloway lingo, there) - the Stars notwithstanding, of course - gained more momentum Friday night when Jerry Jones' Arena League entry, the Desperados, pulled another El Foldo™ act in a first-round playoff game - this time against New York's other  douchebag football team, the Dragons.

Yeah, the Dragons.  Gayest team name in the effin' league.  And  they were a fucking .500 regular-season team, to boot (8-8).

(That's their third straight  first-round playoff buh-bye, in case anyone's counting.)

Now, I'm not sure how much attention Jerry is paying to the Desperados right at the moment.  I do know that if I  owned them, coach Will McClay would have been fired about 30 minutes after that sickening performance.  This is about as bad as the Cowboys losing to that piece-of-shit Eli Manning.  Hell - it's as bad as anyone  losing to that pansy-ass.  Jerry, have you forgotten how to hire a coach who can win a freakin' playoff game?????

Damn.  Just, damn.