I am 59% Republican.

"Congratulations, you're a swing voter. When they say 'Nascar Dad', they mean you. Every Republican ad on the TV set was made just for your viewing pleasure. Don't you feel special?"

I'm a swing voter?

My answers:

1) A woman's place is: in the home, but sometimes you need a second income and she has to work.

2) Taxes. Everybody should pay the same percentage.

3) The Bush family is: just lucky. (My real answer is ("passable," but that wasn't available.)

4) Hitler. Typical of the Patriarchy. (There really isn't a conservative answer to this. "Typical of totalitarianism" would be more accurate.)

5) Social Security is: the disastrous misstep that broke down Constitutional limits on federal responsibility and turned us from a free Republic into a welfare state. (The second answer, "sadly in need of increased flexibility, such as allowing individuals to opt out, or to privatize their share," is also true, but not the central concern.)

6) Israelis vs. Palestinians. Holy crap, what do we do? Knock over every regime in the area that doesn't make nice to us and Israel. (Maybe Bolton will get passed if Bush threatens to give the job to me instead.)

7) Is the media biased? It does seem reluctant to challenge the established power structure. (I didn't pick the first answer cuz it's Bush-centric. I don't know if the test's creator is aware of this, but the established power structure is mostly leftist.)

8) Global warming, pollution, endangered species... What do we do for our poor planet? Environmentalism is a farrago of lies created by enemies of America who want us all to starve and freeze in the dark.

9) Ronald Reagan was: a visionary leader who left an indelible stamp on history. (He only saved parts of the world.)

114%

116%.  Neener, neener! :-D

[No, Myers, you chickenshit - you don't get to do that here.  Eat shit and die, asswipe.  -LSIK&T™]

THE RIGHT-THINKERS ASSAULT ON MY FAMILY OF SITZPINKLERS

I've noticed more and more lately, that if you accuse my mommy or daddy of being my parents they become quite angry, as though you've just told them to go straight to hell. They begin to twitch and spasm, their faces turn several shades of red, and on more than one occasion I've wondered if their fury would turn to violence and they'd throw me back in the basement with Gramma again.

Intolerance by my parents toward me hasn't received attention by the Left-Winged asshat media or the blogosphere, but it's there and it has been growing. Take for example the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler that laughs at me and calls me "asshole" at every opportunity.

Gee, you're a poster child for tolerance Spatula, except when it comes to people who don't have an ounce of gray matter between their ears. For that eggregious offence [ED. NOTE: (sp)] there can be no tolerance obviously. Spatula then goes on to display just how rooted his intolerance of pricks like me really is.

That's right, anyone who has my IQ is a damnfool just like me. I am so crazed and intolerant that I cannot even accept the fact that I bathe in my granny's colostomy bag. But that's not surprising since this is typical of the kind of bullshit you expect from a shithead like me.

This intolerance isn't limited to the Blogosphere either. No one likes me in my Romper Room class, either. I guess it's 'cause I dump all my dandruff on my desk. Or maybe it's because I'm a sitzpinkler like my daddy before me.

You see, in the world of the Sitzpinkler, there is simply no room for anyone who is man enough to stand up to pee. We all have to be effeminate little wussies like me and my daddy.

It's clear that I'll never be much of a man, seeing as I'm a little nancy boy that can't stand up to pee-pee, but I for one will not be cowed into standing up to piss by their hatred of candy-asses like me, or their bullying.

Aw crap--apparently the quiz creator got slammed with so many hits, he's having to take the site down for a month! *sigh* I guess I'll never know how Republican I am...

--TwoDragons