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July 14, 2005

Coupla things you cowardly leftist fucks need to realize

They say you know a man by the enemies he has.  Looks like I'm going great guns.

Now, I realize you liberal fucktards who are members of the "I Play With Inflatable Dolls Too, Rev. Myk!!!" club generally can't ponder or pontificate in words of more than one syllable, but try to keep up anyway.  There are a couple of things that need to be explained to you.

I'll try to type slowly so you can understand.

First off:  You people can bloviate all you want about the Revvvvvvvvv'r'nnnnnd Mykki pointing me to a satellite map all you want.  'Til you're blue in the face would suit me just fine - you're wasting our oxygen as it is.

The chickenshit Cortese has my address.  He knows where I am.  His best response is to...come halfway here to Tennessee?  He'll go halfway (or so he says), but he won't come all the way down here?  That's  why the "meet him halfway" argument fails.  I didn't post my address with the intention of catering to this punk's every last whim.  I gave him the chance to come be a hero.  I gave him the opportunity to show the world what a bad-ass he really was.

Your boy was challenged to come down here, and he wimped out.  Period, end, stop.

(Side note to Mr. von Vockerman:  If you were, in fact, willing to pay my full way up there to Nashville (that's not the impression I got from reading your comments, but still), could you not have taken that money and paid for Cortese's full way down here?  Oh, and another side note:  It sounds like you were interested in making this a Marquis de Queensbury affair.  With all due respect, sir, this is "Come say it to my face", not Golden Gloves.)

The other thing is this:  Yeah, this is a gated community.  So fuckin' what?  That gate is broken at least a third of the time, and it's not that hard to get past as it is.  Besides, we have some pissant vandals/robbers who aren't letting it stop them - there have been a couple broken-into cars in the last couple weeks alone.  It ain't like this is Fort Knox, y'know.

So using a gate as an excuse - "Ohhhhhh, there's a gate here...guess we'll have to turn around and go home, darn" - is pretty damned lame, even for you retarded leftist fucks.

But I've come to expect it from the likes of chickenshits like the Revvvvvvvvv'r'nnnnnnnd Mykki and his "flock".

Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 14, 2005 09:14 PM

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Comments

That's nice, Steve. Now shut the fuck up, you pussy

Posted by: Rev. Mykeru at July 14, 2005 10:24 PM

THE RIGHT-THINKERS ASSAULT ON MY FAMILY OF SITZPINKLERS

I've noticed more and more lately, that if you accuse my mommy or daddy of being my parents they become quite angry, as though you've just told them to go straight to hell. They begin to twitch and spasm, their faces turn several shades of red, and on more than one occasion I've wondered if their fury would turn to violence and they'd throw me back in the basement with Gramma again.

Intolerance by my parents toward me hasn't received attention by the Left-Winged asshat media or the blogosphere, but it's there and it has been growing. Take for example the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler that laughs at me and calls me "asshole" at every opportunity.

Gee, you're a poster child for tolerance Spatula, except when it comes to people who don't have an ounce of gray matter between their ears. For that eggregious offence [ED. NOTE: (sp)] there can be no tolerance obviously. Spatula then goes on to display just how rooted his intolerance of pricks like me really is.

That's right, anyone who has my IQ is a damnfool just like me. I am so crazed and intolerant that I cannot even accept the fact that I bathe in my granny's colostomy bag. But that's not surprising since this is typical of the kind of bullshit you expect from a shithead like me.

This intolerance isn't limited to the Blogosphere either. No one likes me in my Romper Room class, either. I guess it's 'cause I dump all my dandruff on my desk. Or maybe it's because I'm a sitzpinkler like my daddy before me.

You see, in the world of the Sitzpinkler, there is simply no room for anyone who is man enough to stand up to pee. We all have to be effeminate little wussies like me and my daddy.

It's clear that I'll never be much of a man, seeing as I'm a little nancy boy that can't stand up to pee-pee, but I for one will not be cowed into standing up to piss by their hatred of candy-asses like me, or their bullying.

Posted by: isitstinky at July 14, 2005 11:32 PM

If you were, in fact, willing to pay my full way up there to Nashville (that's not the impression I got from reading your comments, but still

From Victor Von Vockerman on the July 10th "He talks the talk, but can't walk the walk" thread:

it should cost each of you about $66.00 to get there. If that expense is too great I will reimburse you.

Oh, but you knew that. Pussy.

Posted by: isitstinky at July 15, 2005 12:18 AM

I want chicken I want liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
Please Deliver

Posted by: salvage at July 15, 2005 07:05 AM

That's nice, Steve. Now shut the fuck up, you pussy

Come say it to my face, chickenshit.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 15, 2005 07:10 AM

Why do you keep deleting

[I might be asking you, GarbageFuck, why you keep posting your diet on my blog.  You know, they do have affordable human food at the grocery store, chump - you don't have to resort to eating cat food.

But to answer your question - the reason is because I can.  Sucks to be you, doesn't it? (snicker)  -LSI]

Posted by: salvage at July 15, 2005 07:16 AM

it should cost each of you about $66.00 to get there. If that expense is too great I will reimburse you.

Oh, but you knew that. Pussy.

Sixty-six dollars?  Apparently Mr. von Vockerman is a little bit more naïve than I thought.  Costs quite a bit more than $66 to get to Nashville.

But that explains why he wanted to make this some sort of boxing match.

Yet another fantasy of the Leftist Leg-Humping Limp-wrists™ blown all to Hell.

Bwah-hahahahahahahahahahaha...!!!

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 15, 2005 07:19 AM

Spats...just leave them alone. They won't listen, and they'll just continue to devolve into sub-animals. They're no longer funny anymore. They're just pathetic.

Note to Wulfgar on previous thread: I still stand by what I say, and you continued to affirm it by taking delight in another man's unhappiness. It's nice to know you didn't think I was "stupid", I'm flattered, really. But whatever my opinion of another person might be, I wouldn't laugh and point derisively at ANYONE who lost their child, unless they made it obvious that they were an unfit parent.

And that is all the troll-feeding I will do on this thread.

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at July 15, 2005 09:57 AM

Jeebus, "Lord" Splatterback. I bet even Jonah "Doughy Pantload" Goldberg could kick your ass. You're the sorriest piece of crap I've seen since the beer shit I took this morning!


[So sayeth the pansy-assed chickenshit from Noo Yawk.  Say, chumpette, are you hiding behind Chuckie's fat ass, or Hilary's?

(click, click) Buh, bye, wussy-boy...  -LSI]

Posted by: deerp at July 15, 2005 10:51 AM

P.S.

Bwah-hahahahahahahahahahaha is quite possibly the gayest...laugh...ever!!!!

Posted by: deerp at July 15, 2005 10:53 AM

*sigh*

Looks like Spats ran over another leftist moonbat dungheap with his lawnmower.

Issue a challenge, complete with address and what's the response?

A lot of excuses and pathetic chest thumping.

"OOOOOH you bad man you! How dare you challenge me? Now we have no choice but to expose myself as a cowardly shitbag! At least I can post under multiple names so it appears I have friends.".

You know your life sucks when you have salvage and isitstinky "defending" you.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen those two "flowers of liberalism" over at The Rott in quite awhile.

Looks like they still can't figure out TypeKey.......

Posted by: Elephant Man at July 15, 2005 11:11 AM

It looks like "deerp" has a strange preoccupation with feces.

Typical of a lonely prepubescent fat kid "acting out" on mommy's computer while she's at work....

Posted by: Elephant Man at July 15, 2005 11:17 AM

Hey Elephantitis, I'm not sure what this 'feces' thing you're talking about is, but if it has to do with poop, I'm all over it! Just wondering, when you're done fellating Lord Splatterback, can you give me a little suck? I promise I won't shoot off in your eye prematurely like he does.

Posted by: deerp at July 15, 2005 11:32 AM

"If it has to do with poop, I'm all over it"

Deerp states the obvious.

Looks like in addition to his coprophilia, he's getting lonely languishing in his mother's basement.

The poor little fat kid must be getting "frustrated" ever since he had that unfortunate incident at the local truckstop gloryhole.

he's reduced to asking for "sexual favors" over the internet.

Just pathetic.....

Posted by: Elephant Man at July 15, 2005 12:38 PM

Steve,

What the fuck is this shit? Your contribution to the world is to blog about confronting liberals and beating them up? That's it?

Methinks you need to climb back into the '74 Maverick of Reason and drive on over to the Taco Bueno of Perspective. You are giving in to the darkest sides of your personality here, hurling bowling balls in every direction but only hurting yourself. Stop it.

You and I have always been on opposite sides of the political fence, but we never got stupid like this (and I somehow have been able to avoid getting quite this far down the road with any of your conservative ilk). If this isn't the discourse you think the Founders had in mind, maybe you should hold yourself accountable first for breaking the responsibility of caring for our shared inheritance. Lead by example, and all that.

Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. Jesus, man, there's no need for such contempt. It's unnecessary and undeserved. Step back a minute, catch your breath, and ask yourself if your appetite for violence extends to me. If not, it shouldn't extend to anyone on the basis of their political beliefs. That's just logic.

I was a sort of consiglieri to you in an earlier life. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended.

--Bellomy.

Posted by: chris at July 15, 2005 01:13 PM

Clearly I go where I can eat the most poop and I've yet to find another site where it gets shoved rite back up my ass than this one. "Unfortunate accident"?!?! I made $50 off of that farmer's goat! Apparently there are a lot of you conservative types hanging out at truckstops waiting to kick the ass of a skanky 17 year old liberal. Why do you think people call me Needledick? If he doesn't remember me, I'm sure his size 10 steel-toed boot does! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Posted by: Deerp at July 15, 2005 02:49 PM

What the fuck is this shit? Your contribution to the world is to blog about confronting liberals and beating them up? That's it?

Ah, my old running buddy, Chris Bellomy.  Good to see you, man.  Nah, you've just wandered in during a bit of crap going on, that's all.  The blog is usually about a little more than just that.

See, this guy in Virginia has been spewing bullshit about how conservatives are "cowardly scumbags" and the like.  I invited him to come down and tell me that in person - "come say it to my face", if you will.  It's my opinion that those who do this feel safe doing so from the comfort of anonymity behind their keyboard.  Challenge them to do so in person and there'd be a lot of hemming & hawing.

As I expected, he ignored my invitation, and invited me to some unknown area up in Arlington, VA.  I guess he thinks I'm going to jump through his hoops and look at his pretty satellite pictures and all.

Methinks you need to climb back into the '74 Maverick of Reason and drive on over to the Taco Bueno of Perspective.

Actually, the Maverick is probably on the junk heap now, and Doc Atkins doesn't like it when I do Taco Bueno.  But props for remembering all that - I still owe you lunch, as I recall.

You are giving in to the darkest sides of your personality here, hurling bowling balls in every direction but only hurting yourself. Stop it.

I'm p.o.'d, Chris.  So are a lot of friends of mine.  Not at you, per se - as you've already said, we go back a long way - but, still, we're pissed and we don't mind saying so.

You and I have always been on opposite sides of the political fence, but we never got stupid like this (and I somehow have been able to avoid getting quite this far down the road with any of your conservative ilk).

We've never had a political discussion, period, as I recall.

If this isn't the discourse you think the Founders had in mind, maybe you should hold yourself accountable first for breaking the responsibility of caring for our shared inheritance. Lead by example, and all that.

Noble idea.  When are the Moveon.orgs of the world going to stop referring to Bush as Hitler?  When are the Dick Durbins going to stop comparing our troops as Nazis?

Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. Jesus, man, there's no need for such contempt. It's unnecessary and undeserved.

Why, Chris?  Seems pretty obvious to me that the liberals have it for us, starting with Howard "Chief Screaming Flea" Dean, right on down to Michael Moore and his dick-sucking sycophants (many of whom have decided to stop off here for a spell).

On the other hand, why don't you come over to the Rottweiler and get to know some of the folks there?  I know the blog's owner, met a lot of the regulars there, and I'd be happy to vouch for you.  See for yourself what we're like.

Step back a minute, catch your breath, and ask yourself if your appetite for violence extends to me.

Now you know better than that,  Chris - and I know that for a fact.

If not, it shouldn't extend to anyone on the basis of their political beliefs. That's just logic.

On the other hand, I also know for a fact that you're not one to call conservatives "cowardly scumbags" and stuff like that.  Now, it's been a long time since I ventured out into the political newsgroups where you post, but I'm pretty sure you're not out there doing that.

I was a sort of consiglieri to you in an earlier life. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended.

Would I have still offered to spring for lunch, had I not? :-)

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 15, 2005 03:35 PM

Spats,

What the IP addy of Dr Pepper? He sounds somewhat familiar.

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 15, 2005 03:40 PM

I've read the Rottweiler. It's unamerican. In America, there's no rightful place for the kind of eliminationist rhetoric that gets posted there on a daily basis.

I got into this thing very late. I don't know what lead up to this and I really don't want to know. What I see now is a bunch of finger pointing and posturing and very little if anything that's constructive. In a democracy, we're supposed to criticize ideas on their merits, not get into endless ad hominem wars against those with whom we disagree. We're supposed to be, you know, civilized.

That said, I would certainly call a conservative a cowardly scumbag if he deserved it. I'd call anybody a cowardly scumbag if he deserved it. But it takes a lot to get that sort of thing out of me, as you know.

I'm not going to address the political questions you raised at this point, because I didn't come here to change your mind about your politics. I came here to change your mind about your tactics. Different thing altogether. If you want to believe that moveon.com called Bush Hitler, knock yourself out. We can hash that out another time.

For now, though, I'd be content with asking you if you think you're modeling how you think discourse ought to work in this country. If not... then try harder. Just being pissed isn't an excuse. I'm pissed, too, at a lot of things done by guys on your side. But I don't post threats of violence on my blog or in comments on your blog. If I did, and my kid ended up reading it one day, I'd be mortified, ya know?

Posted by: chris at July 15, 2005 03:56 PM

As for lunch... I will buy YOU lunch if you will post an appeal for cooler heads to prevail, and acknowledge that Americans can be separated by matters of ideology and even partisanship and still all be good Americans. No qualifiers allowed. No complaints about heated lefty rhetoric allowed. This isn't about ideology; it's about love of democracy and nothing else.

And yes: it's bribery. So sue me.

There are people who hold tremendous power who profit as long as they can keep people like us fighting amongst ourselves. I don't mean disagreeing; I mean outright fighting. Things get better in this country only when we get smart enough to quit being manipulated by these people. That happens when we acknowledge each other as fellow citizens with a common love for country, and no sooner.

So there, Steve, there's a bribe offer. I think you should take it.

Posted by: chris at July 15, 2005 04:22 PM

Spatula Boy,

Try not to be so angry. In addition to your amygdala, there are many other excellent parts of the brain you might find handy. I enjoy using my pre-frontal cortex in particular. I know that sounds all frenchy and lefty, but don't knock it till you try it.

And also, please be patient with yourself. I know your body is going through all sorts of changes, and you're trying to sort out your place. But trust me, once you get out of high school, everything changes for the better.

Posted by: mark at July 15, 2005 06:26 PM

And also, please be patient with yourself. I know your body is going through all sorts of changes, and you're trying to sort out your place. But trust me, once you get out of high school, everything changes for the better.

And since you seem to still be riding the Short Bus, you'd know that...how again?

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 15, 2005 06:45 PM

It's my bet that with a little work this could become a campaign contribution maker winner take all thing.

And even I who have often wanted to take people up on their come say it to my face threats know that unless it's preplanned and protected from law enforcement and legal isues that if one of us was to show up to kick your ass you'd either be on the phone to the cops, reaching for your gun, or calling your neighbors for help. It's what happens when you show up to kick a bullys ass where they tell you.

It really does sound like a feasable solution the the problem. You both meet half way. A venue is established. Rules are drawn out. Kicking in nuts, no kicking in nuts, first blood or until the losers pisses themselves ect rules can be a good thing. And with enough pledges there could be some serious money to donate to the winners political cause of the day. If you are so sure of winning just think how happy the Republicans will be with your winnings.

Posted by: IXLNXS at July 15, 2005 06:48 PM

By what evidence is "come say it to my face" considered a threat?

IXLNXS seems to be the only one here advocating violence.

Posted by: Alan K. Henderson at July 15, 2005 07:23 PM

[Gee, all that schooling from Romper Room and you're still a dumbass.  I'd ask for my money back if I were you.

Buh-bye, chump...  -LSI]

Posted by: mark at July 15, 2005 09:06 PM

[Can you spell "buh-bye", fuckhead? (snicker)  -LSI]

Posted by: waldo at July 15, 2005 09:59 PM

Chris, of all the Left-Wing folks who have come by this thread, you are a literal breath of fresh air. Can you clone yourself a couple thousand times?

I'll admit--there are times when I wish Spats would ease off a bit, myself--but I also know that he's very strong in his convictions that, overall, most of the trolls that spew at his site are cowards at heart. He's not wanting to go to some mid-point or to drop in on THIER doorstep--he wants to see if they are as strong in their opinions face-to-face as they are online, and willing to come to HIM. And so far no-one has backed up their words with actions.

I do worry, though, that my dear friend will run afoul of the kind of gutless bastard who isn't above long-distance vengeance of some sort or another. I'd hate to lose someone who has become like a brother to me.

As for the posturing...yeah, it gets over-the-top at times. But hey, it's kinda funny to watch... ;-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at July 15, 2005 10:17 PM

I've got no sides on this and I've read both of the blogs. Hate to say it, Lord Spatula, but you're a pussy.


[Yet, just like your honeyboy Mykki, you don't have the balls to come say it to my face.

Figures.  (click, click) Buh-bye, chump.  -LSI]

Posted by: slammin' sammy at July 16, 2005 06:35 AM

You know, someone correctly identified the plan: I'm going to put up this entire incident on one page to that you guys can thump each other on the backs and vouch for each other's manhood, but the rest of the net will see your CSITMF bullshit and the lame jihadist crap you pull on people like Eric Blumrich as just so much hot air.

I'm happy that this site and the Anti-Idiotarians exist so you can circle-jerk each other into thinking you are not a bunch of cowardly fucks. What would you do otherwise? That's right: You would have to prove it in the real world. And, as we established, that not something you are willing to attempt.

Already the tale has been picked up by some AQ-List blogs, and so your chortling that more people will read your version than mine hasn't turned out the way you hoped.

Short version: I gave you a change to act like a man, Crager. You passed on it even though every accommodation was made, including someone offering to reimburse your airfare and put you up before the fight. You couldn't even entertain the thought, out of fear that if you even considered it you would get yourself into a situation even harder for you to back out of.

Still, I'm a reasonable sort of guy. If you ever recover your manhood enough to decide you want to cash the checks you keep writing on this site, I'll give you another chance. The one difference is that once the deadline passed, I withdrew my promise not to strike you anywhere in the head. Should you ever meet me like a man, I'm taking your head off.

One commenter was right: The cheap inflatable punching bag was pure mockery. Besides, you don't think I would show you what I can actually do to you before you get to experience it for yourself, do you?

Silly hamster. It would be as dumb as you putting up a picture of your fat buddies and your pimp guns so we can see what overcompensation looks like.

Oh, and Steve, if I was really posting under sock puppets, you would have already compared the IP addresses by now.

Posted by: Rev. Mykeru at July 16, 2005 09:05 AM

Mykeru,

If you really want to make a statement, why don't you simply take Spats up on his initial offer? No more chest thumping, no more goal post shifting, no more empty talk; just accept the challenge and show up at his door with your videographer and let the whole world see what happens next.

I really don't think that gate will present much of an obstacle and it'd take Dallas PD at least six minutes to respond in the event someone called them. Certainly the whole issue would be resolved within that time, notwithstanding the fact I'm sure neither of you would or could file a complaint against the other under the circumstances.

Expenses and time constraints must not be a problem or you would have mentioned it, so what's stopping you?

Posted by: JS Raggmann at July 16, 2005 11:42 AM

[You can bleat from as many IPs as you want, chickenshit.  I can dump 'em soon as I see 'em. (chuckle)  -LSI]

Posted by: slammin' sammy at July 16, 2005 01:16 PM

Well, Slammin' Sammy, you're almost right. The way I read it was that Mykeru was railing about sneaky fuckers who happen to disagree with his world view and who tried to make trouble for him by reporting him to his employer rather than confronting him. To them he said, "Bring it on". I happen to agree with him and I'll bet Spats does too.

Spats took exception at Mykeru's characterization of these people as "Christian Fascists" who are cowards, wingnuts and members of the radical right. That's when he issued his "Come Say It To My Face" challenge. It's Mykeru's challenge to accept or not.

Posted by: JS Raggmann at July 16, 2005 02:40 PM

Chris, I don't know you, but Spats sez your ok, so that covers that for me.

The cowardly "Reverend" replied to a simple challenge with a total failure; When given Spats home address and an open invitation to come and discuss their diffrences, he responds with an invitation to Spats, and POSTS THE WRONG CITY to come and discuss the matter. He states that he lives in Arlington, when the simple step of looking him up in the TELEPHONE BOOK shows he lives in Alexandria; the next town over. I'm a resident of the area, and indeed used to live less than a mile from the Good Reverend's actual address.

He's full of crap. We all know it. He lost. And qualifies as pure chickenshit.


As for the Rott, your comments here demonstrate adequately that you would be welcome. We may disagree, and even argue quite vehemently, but INTELLEGENT arguments and HONEST convictions are always welcome. It's the Michaelmooremoveonhowarddean Moonbats that get the brunt of the invective.

I'll vouch for ya too. Come on down.

Posted by: LC Wil at July 16, 2005 05:38 PM

I'm very much a Michaelmooremoveonhowarddean Moonbat. I don't think you want me.

Thanks anyway.

Posted by: chris at July 16, 2005 06:55 PM

Chris, you may be a lefty, a Democrat, or a screaming liberal. You may even like Michael Moore (why I can't imagine) and Howard Dean.

You, sir, are no moonbat. You sound too intelligent. I'm not gonna drag you over kicking and screaming, but you may find you like it. Lacking anything else, I get someone else to help me sharpen my arguments.

It's not for the faint of heart, but you will be welcome.

Posted by: LC Wil at July 16, 2005 09:03 PM

I like Michael Moore to the extent that he gets under the skin of the Ann Coulter crowd, who richly deserve it; but otherwise distance from him due to his propensity to make unsupported and sometimes unsupportable statements.

I voted for Dean because he would have won if nominated. He seizes the initiative in the debate in a way that Democrats haven't done in a generation. The harpie beltway media didn't like him, either, which was another reason to like him. Whether he would have had the political capital to get us the hell out of Iraq is another question, though. Inheriting Dubya's mess is a job I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I tend to look down on libertarian types who don't understand that their vision of paradise would only shift power away from the democratically elected government toward the permanent oligarchy. Anyone who prefers a meritocracy should be voting Democratic as a matter of habit. Working class stiffs who vote against their own self-interest because the likes of Rush Limbaugh have them scared to death of liberals get little sympathy from me. If that describes you, so be it.

The greatest economic engine in history was built on New Deal policies. This is a fact. Social liberalism built the largest and most successful middle class of all time; the deconstruction of liberal policy undertaken since the Reagan years has served to shrink the middle class, reduce economic mobility, and deepen the pockets of old money at the expense of the people who do the actual work. This is also a fact. I have no patience with people who wave their hands and pretend that it isn't so. It is so. Insisting otherwise tells me that one isn't serious about discussing and understanding economic and social policy, but instead is engaged in a Bush-like determination to make the facts fit the preconceived agenda. This is form of willful stupidity and I have no patience with it.

Like I said, you don't want me over there.

Posted by: chris at July 17, 2005 12:03 AM

You know, someone correctly identified the plan: I'm going to put up this entire incident on one page to that you guys can thump each other on the backs and vouch for each other's manhood, but the rest of the net will see your CSITMF bullshit and the lame jihadist crap you pull on people like Eric Blumrich as just so much hot air.

Yeah, I can see it now:  "Lookit me,  hyuk!!!  Instead of hiding behind those inflatable dolls I play with, I'll go to Nashville  and stick my tongue out at that meeeeeean ol' Spatula from 500 miles away!!!!  Yeah, I'm a bad ass, alright!!!" (snicker)

I'm happy that this site and the Anti-Idiotarians exist so you can circle-jerk each other into thinking you are not a bunch of cowardly fucks. What would you do otherwise? That's right: You would have to prove it in the real world. And, as we established, that not something you are willing to attempt.

If you and the rest of your sycophanitic, dick-sucking imbeciles keep hiding behind your keyboards, chickenshit, what are we supposed  to do?

Already the tale has been picked up by some AQ-List blogs, and so your chortling that more people will read your version than mine hasn't turned out the way you hoped.

Well, isn't that special?  I suppose I should expect a bus of protestors over here soon, then?  Y'know, the same exact ones that show up at every single antiwar rally the newsies cover?  The ones whose collective brains might  fit in a thimble? (chuckle)

Short version: I gave you a change to act like a man, Crager. You passed on it even though every accommodation was made, including someone offering to reimburse your airfare and put you up before the fight.

Oh, yeah - the von Vockerman "offer".

Get real, assclown.  It costs a helluva lot more than $66 to get to Nashville.  Either your boy von Vockerman is awfully damned naïve, or it wasn't a serious offer at all.

You couldn't even entertain the thought, out of fear that if you even considered it you would get yourself into a situation even harder for you to back out of.

Oh, you mean like you couldn't entertain the thought of getting your cowardly ass handed back to you down here in Texas?

It's okay that you don't want to face me, though.  I understand you don't want to soil your last pair of Underoos.

Still, I'm a reasonable sort of guy. If you ever recover your manhood enough to decide you want to cash the checks you keep writing on this site,

Come say it to my face then, nancy-boy.  That's an open-ended offer, y'know.  Anytime your papier-machés  grow past the size of pinheads, feel free to come on out and get the shit knocked out of you.

I'll give you another chance. The one difference is that once the deadline passed, I withdrew my promise not to strike you anywhere in the head. Should you ever meet me like a man, I'm taking your head off.

ROFLMAFAO!!!!!  You forget, wussy - I've seen that picture of you and the rubber chicken you sleep with (whassa matter, would that skank of yours not buy you a teddybear? (chortle)).  You'd have a hard time bruising an overripe peach.

One commenter was right: The cheap inflatable punching bag was pure mockery. Besides, you don't think I would show you what I can actually do to you before you get to experience it for yourself, do you?

I think that after the first couple of shots, you'd go running home crying to your inflatable dolly.  Not that I'd allow it, of course - I'd have to finish the job (and take my time thoroughly enjoying carving your ugly ass up) before I'd turn you loose.

Silly hamster. It would be as dumb as you putting up a picture of your fat buddies and your pimp guns so we can see what overcompensation looks like.

Well, it beats putting up a video of you and your inflatable mate.  (Really, you might try sucking up to that skank of yours a little more often.  You might actally get some, y'know?)

Oh, and Steve, if I was really posting under sock puppets, you would have already compared the IP addresses by now.

Getting a tad delusional now, are we?  Like I care about that?  Y'know, you don't need to invent accusations for me to make against you - the fact that you're a cowardly little douchebag is quite enough for me.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 17, 2005 07:55 AM

"Posted by Dr Pepper at July 15, 2005 10:05 AM"

Might want to change that to "DIET Dr Pepper", sweetie, being that most of you on a "different continent" seem to have some serious dental problems.

Oh, and try the whitening strips too, if you can find them. I find yellow teeth usually means bad breath too.

Have a nice day!

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 17, 2005 08:03 PM

"P.S.

Bwah-hahahahahahahahahahaha is quite possibly the gayest...laugh...ever!!!!"

And how would YOU know this, doe-eyes?

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 17, 2005 10:15 PM

The point is that Spatula went to this guys website and then expected him to come all the way down to Dallas. The Reverend was willing to meet half way (even though it was his website that Spat went to) but Spatula wasn't. Basically he doesn't have the balls to do what he's been telling others to do for years.
I fthe Rev came to Spatula's site then he might have had a point, but he didn't so he doesn't. To any impartial on looker it is Spatula who looks like the coward.
Why is he afraid to meet half way?


[Why don't you go ask your honeyboy why he's afraid to come down here to Dallas?

Until then, fuckhead (click, click)...buh-bye.  -LSI]

Posted by: Guess Who at July 18, 2005 05:37 AM

I would like to suggest there be no more attempts to "duel" (and where to duel) and for everyone to just call a truce.

Okay?

I'm so glad I'm a woman sometimes. ;)

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 18, 2005 09:54 AM

Sorry spatula, you lost. Don't worry though, I'm sure it's not the kind of thing that will haunt you for the rest of your life or anything...

Posted by: C Andrew at July 18, 2005 07:48 PM

My God man, you got called and buckled, I mean they were gonna pay your way and have medical assistance in case of injury. Dude, that was as fair a fight as you will ever get.

I mean come on!?!!?

You don't accept someones challenge then expect them to come to you? you meet on neutral ground and then accept your fate in an honorable manner.

I'm not a violent man either, but if I accept a challenge I would have by honor to either follow thru or appologize for the "honest mistake", but thats just me. I can accept my faults and my mistakes, I would have assumed you could too.

Oh well.

Posted by: Elim at July 18, 2005 08:27 PM

Aww, look at the little commies crawling out of the woodwork to bark like a pack of chihuahuas. Lord Spats, you have repeatedly invited the little zhopniks to come say it to your face. They never do. They never will. The simple truth is, they are cowardly scum, and will only "fight", if you want to call it that, on what they think are their terms . Like their brain-brothers the jihadis, these punks are terrified of a face-to-face confrontation. They are only brave in packs, against "safe" targets, attacking the unprepared. So, piss on them, for now. I wish they would already start their asinine "revolution" they like to squeal about. But they won't. Ever. So, like their beloved Daily KO(ck)S(ucker) says : "Screw'em!"

Posted by: Princess Natasha at July 18, 2005 09:02 PM

"Whoo Hoo, Commies, Homos and Arabs, Oh My...."

"Toto what ever shall we do?", The wizard will put everything right I just know it...
Oh and dont forget to call every one names too, that always helps.

That and Princess Natasha I "SO" want to know how you get that email address! I want one too!

Viva La Revolution!

Posted by: Elim at July 18, 2005 09:22 PM

Deerbreath brought up the homosexual issue, Elim, not me.

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 18, 2005 09:28 PM

Wasn't pointing to anyone in particular maam just the whole tHread. Just color me amused by this trainwreck..

Posted by: Elim at July 18, 2005 09:32 PM

Viva La Revolution!

Quit teasing, wussy-boy.  You assclowns, just like your honeyboy Mykki, don't have the balls. (snicker)

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 18, 2005 09:33 PM

"Just color me amused by this trainwreck.."


Laughter IS the best medicine.

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 18, 2005 09:35 PM

[(click, click) Buh-bye, chumpette.  -LSI]

Posted by: Elim at July 18, 2005 09:41 PM

"I 'SO' want to know...." What a horrible distortion of the English language. "So" is not used to enhance verbs, my little malchik. Please learn some proper English, not the "mall-speak" you semi-literate bimbos insist on using. Until then, poshol na hui, pizdyuk. Kanai pod nary, shestak yobannyi!

Posted by: Princess Natasha at July 18, 2005 09:45 PM

Dear Mr. Crager,

First off, congratulations on your newfound fame! I had never heard of you before your little imbroligo, so despite whatever damage is done to your reputation, the fact that it has caused said rep to spread and multiply will hopefully provide some comfort.
I do have one question for you though: What is up with the 'monosyllabic' cracks? They appear quite often in your writings, and while I acknowledge that every writer has his quirks and motifs that spring up, I find it odd for you to harp on syllable counting when, for example, this post has an average of 1.39 syllables per word.
The Juicy Studios Readability Test, while not the be all and end of evaluation, makes it quite clear that you, while highly entertaining in your way, are not exactly Nabokov (Or his non-liberal equivalent.)

You are to be lauded for doing your thing and sticking to your guns, of that there is no doubt. But when it requires a 5th grade education to comprehend your writing - somewhere between Reader's Digest and a Danielle Steele novel, in terms of difficulty - perhaps it is time you stopped trying to point out the mental and literary deficiencies of your mortal foes and instead worked on addressing your own.
I think you are a bright man who could really leave his mark. You are an entertaining writer, and to be honest, I do envy the ease with which you articulate your point of view.
You just have to work a little harder.
Good luck and happy writing!

Posted by: Layne at July 18, 2005 09:52 PM

And here comes a condescending pompous pizda to read a lecture. Look, the owner of this blog may not want to "leave a mark" or "make a difference" or whatever other catchy phrase certain arrogant, touchy-feely, New Age freaks would like to use here. What if.... he is writing for his own pleasure? For fun? Certainly, if he is putting it on the Internet for people to find, he must be aware that others are reading it. But what if he doesn't care HOW they react? What if he doesn't give a shit how it makes you feel, or think, or whatever it is you do with whatever organ you use to do it? What if he doesn't care if he is famous or not?

If that is the case, the effort you spent to type and post your little diatribe there Mr/Ms Layme was completely wasted. Please, get over yourself. Then, if you do not like the way this blog is written, go start your own. A critic is usually an individual who failed at the art they criticize.

Posted by: Princess Natasha at July 18, 2005 10:04 PM

"And here comes a condescending pompous pizda to read a lecture"

I suppose it makes up for his lack of manhood. (both in and out of bed)

Posted by: Lady Heather at July 18, 2005 10:31 PM

I apologize if I came off as arrogant or condescending. I thought that I was being wellspoken and polite, two qualities that were lacking from most of the other comments.
I like the way the pieces are written; as I clearly said, they're entertaining. Miss Natasha, I was simply asking a question, one that was addressed to the author, not to you. I've often found that people who take umbrage on another's behalf of others do so to compensate for their own cowardice and lack of originality. I know that Mr. Crager is quite capable of composing a response without your assistance.
Oh, another question, this time especially for you, Miss Natasha: Why would there be a comments box if the author was not interested in feedback?

Posted by: Layne at July 18, 2005 10:31 PM

Come say it to my face, chickenshit.

Spatula, you should cut your losses on this one. You pussed out in a big way and everyone but you knows it. Repeating your empty threats now makes you look even more like a punk.

Posted by: Todd at July 19, 2005 12:53 AM

Spatula, you should cut your losses on this one. You pussed out in a big way and everyone but you knows it. Repeating your empty threats now makes you look even more like a punk.

Really?  I notice that neither you nor your honeyboy Mykki has bothered to take me up on the offer.  Gee, wonder why that could be?

(crickets)

Yeah, I thought  so...

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 19, 2005 06:00 AM

I apologize if I came off as arrogant or condescending. I thought that I was being wellspoken and polite, two qualities that were lacking from most of the other comments.

Actually, Layne, yes - you've been a lot more cordial than most around here.  Props.

I like the way the pieces are written; as I clearly said, they're entertaining. Miss Natasha, I was simply asking a question, one that was addressed to the author, not to you. I've often found that people who take umbrage on another's behalf of others do so to compensate for their own cowardice and lack of originality. I know that Mr. Crager is quite capable of composing a response without your assistance.

It's okay, Layne.  Natasha saw your post as an attack (so did I, on first glance).  Everything else here pretty much has been, so...

Oh, another question, this time especially for you, Miss Natasha: Why would there be a comments box if the author was not interested in feedback?

Well, Layne, there are comments, and then there's bullshit.  Comments I don't mind.  Bullshit - that's another matter.

Anyway, let me address a couple of points in your first post:

I do have one question for you though: What is up with the 'monosyllabic' cracks? They appear quite often in your writings, and while I acknowledge that every writer has his quirks and motifs that spring up, I find it odd for you to harp on syllable counting when, for example, this post has an average of 1.39 syllables per word.

Would it help if I threw in an "antidisestablishmentarianism" once in a while? (grin)

You are to be lauded for doing your thing and sticking to your guns, of that there is no doubt. But when it requires a 5th grade education to comprehend your writing - somewhere between Reader's Digest and a Danielle Steele novel, in terms of difficulty - perhaps it is time you stopped trying to point out the mental and literary deficiencies of your mortal foes and instead worked on addressing your own.

(shrug) It's a rant-type blog, Layne.  I could make it a little more erudite if I had more time to work on it, but my schedule doesn't really allow for it at the moment.  I'm fortunate to get one post in per day, truth be told.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 19, 2005 06:14 AM

Really? I notice that neither you nor your honeyboy Mykki has bothered to take me up on the offer. Gee, wonder why that could be?

It's because your actions speak much louder than your words. You've made it clear you're a paper tiger and so nobody's going to waste time and money coming down there, only to have you run and hide in your appartment til the cops arrive.

You went on his site and made your bluff. He called and you pussed out. That shows much more about you than your lame "Come say it to my face" BS ever will.

Keep spinning it in your head though and maybe someday you'll convince yourself that you were a badass and *he* backed down.

Posted by: Todd at July 19, 2005 01:01 PM

It's because your actions speak much louder than your words. You've made it clear you're a paper tiger

I've made it clear that if widdle Mykki wants some, then he needs to come get some.  Same as I've made it clear to everyone else.

and so nobody's going to waste time and money coming down there, only to have you run and hide in your appartment til the cops arrive.

This is why libtards are losing so badly:  They don't think things through quiiiiiiite enough.

If I'm making the invitation, why in the Hell™ would I call the cops?  Now, someone else  might, but once they found out that you were there at my invitation, do you think they're going to give a fat rat's ass about the goings-on?

You went on his site and made your bluff.

Bullshit.  I went to his site and called his  bluff.  Get your facts straight.

He called and you pussed out.

Bullshit again.  Check higher in the thread.  He dared me to come to Arlington, VA - when he himself, according to the phone book, lives in Alexandria.  That's like me inviting you to Dallas and me living in Fort Worth.

That shows much more about you than your lame "Come say it to my face" BS ever will.

It shows that I've got the cojones  to tell you where you can find me, and your honeyboy doesn't.

Keep spinning it in your head though and maybe someday you'll convince yourself that you were a badass and *he* backed down.

Doesn't require much in the way of spin, since that's what happened.

Nice try, though. (snicker)

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 19, 2005 03:55 PM

Damn Spats, the leftist moonbats just keep humming and beeping about this, don't they?

You know you've made your point when "the opposition" (if you can call those purile idiots "opposition") can't let it go.

Apparently they're too stupid to realize that the more they honk and bleat, the more pathetic and craven they appear....

Posted by: Elephant Man at July 20, 2005 06:21 AM

[(click, click) Buh-bye, little Dutch boy.  Go plug your finger into some hole other than your skanky ass... (snicker)  -LSI]

Posted by: Dr Pepper at July 20, 2005 06:50 AM

[Ah, IP spoofing.  The last refuge of the net chickenshit.

Unfortunately for you, tosser, I'm a computer techie, too.  Moreover, I'm the owner of this blog...which means your ass is mine.

Let the fun begin!!! (guffaw)  -LSI]

Posted by: Doctor Pepper at July 20, 2005 09:08 AM

The tactic that Steve has been using, and I suspect always will use, is one that I see almost every time I hear these arguments.

It's really simple. They use your own threats and insults against you in a childish "I know you are, but what am I ?" fashion. This way they can distract us from the terrible things that Bush is doing to everyone in this country, regaurdless of political affiliation. Yes, that means he's fucking republican/conservitives in the ass as well.

They have no idea what their cause/argument is supposed to be other than hating "Liberals" and trying desparately to make them look like gay, baby-killing, America-hating weaklings. They have no real grasp of the issues they so fiercly debate, which is why debating with most Right Wingers is talking in circles, and 5th grade insults. They do not want to exchange ideas in a meaningful way, they want to hear their own ideas repeated to them by people who look and act like themselves.

Steve illustrates this tactic beautifully, and if doesn't delete this comment, will probably do it to me.

Posted by: Jake at July 20, 2005 11:16 AM

As far as the "CSITMF" crap, what is that going to prove?

And what are people supposed to say to your face?

You're saying that you'll beat someone up because they are saying something to your face, as opposed to saying something via your computer monitor. It's a hollow challenge/threat that is rarely, if ever carried out and that challenge is given by people who as Steve admitted ("As I expected, he ignored my invitation") don't expect it to happen.

The Steve, what's your point in issuing this challenge if you don't expect it happen?... I beleive that makes you the coward.

You explain this situation to your lunch-freind as if he were your daddy who caught you sneaking around, which leads me to beleive that you don't actually speak this way to people in person, but rather to people who you know will not waste the time and effort to come to Dallas.

Posted by: Jake at July 20, 2005 11:44 AM

As far as the "CSITMF" crap, what is that going to prove? And what are people supposed to say to your face?

Presumably, the same sort of crap they throw out from behind their keyboard.  As for what it'll prove?  Perhaps that I might be wrong about at least a couple of them...but that hasn't happened yet.

You're saying that you'll beat someone up because they are saying something to your face, as opposed to saying something via your computer monitor.

Okay, I'm guessing that you haven't read the FAQ.  Feel free to check it out.  It's in need of an update or two, but it pretty much explains things.

It's a hollow challenge/threat that is rarely, if ever carried out and that challenge is given by people who as Steve admitted ("As I expected, he ignored my invitation") don't expect it to happen.

The Steve, what's your point in issuing this challenge if you don't expect it happen?...

One can always hope.  I don't expect  it to happen based on track record.  I saw this assclown Cortese's website and thought "finally, someone who might put his money where his mouth is".  Sadly, I was mistaken.

I beleive that makes you the coward.

Because I give out my home address, while Cortese says he's in Arlington, VA, but is really in the next town over?  YeahRight™ (rolls eyes)

You explain this situation to your lunch-freind as if he were your daddy who caught you sneaking around,

I explain it to him because it's a side of me he's never seen.  No "sneaking around" about it at all.

which leads me to beleive that you don't actually speak this way to people in person, but rather to people who you know will not waste the time and effort to come to Dallas.

How would anybody know?  No one's ever taken me up on the offer.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 20, 2005 12:38 PM

Well, I still don't agree with you, but thanks for responding to my post in an intelligent way, sans insults.

Posted by: Jake at July 20, 2005 12:42 PM

Well, I still don't agree with you, but thanks for responding to my post in an intelligent way, sans insults.

My pleasure, Jake.  And it's not a requirement that you agree with me, so no worries there.  Feel free to hang around a while.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 20, 2005 01:17 PM

Oh, let me address what you said in your first comment real quick:

It's really simple. They use your own threats and insults against you in a childish "I know you are, but what am I ?" fashion.

Jake, the solution to that is not to issue them to me in the first place.  Debate with me cordially and I'll respond in kind.  Snark at me and I'll snark right back.

This way they can distract us from the terrible things that Bush is doing to everyone in this country, regaurdless of political affiliation. Yes, that means he's fucking republican/conservitives in the ass as well.

Would it surprise you to learn that I'm not all that crazy about Bush as President?  Hell™ - those who have been reading me for awhile will tell you that I wasn't too impressed with him as governor of Texas.  You'll find that a lot of us here and at the Rottweiler rip him plenty of new ones on a regular basis for crap that's occurred on his watch.  Such as the eminent domain fiasco, for example.

They have no idea what their cause/argument is supposed to be other than hating "Liberals"

Jake, our cause is liberty, pure and simple.  In a nutshell, the freedom to do as people's consciences dictate that they ought.  And a government that views the Constitution as a check on its power, rather than a check on our freedoms.

Now, what would be your problem with that?

and trying desparately to make them look like gay, baby-killing, America-hating weaklings.

Generally, Jake, they make themselves look like that.  We hardly have to lift a finger.

They have no real grasp of the issues they so fiercly debate

What would you consider a "real grasp"?

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 20, 2005 01:37 PM

I'm not a liberal by any stretch of the imagination. But I have to say your refusal of the midway point offer by Vockerman shows you have no character and are a disgrace to right-wing thinkers everywhere. You almost make me ashamed to be a conservative. Stand up yourself or shut the hell up!

Posted by: slyman at July 20, 2005 01:57 PM

I'm not a liberal by any stretch of the imagination.

Well, there's the first  lie...

But I have to say your refusal of the midway point offer by Vockerman

Addressed and answered.

But I'll give you the chance to prove me wrong, chump.  I want you to go to Nashville, spend three days there or so, and come back - and I want you to spend exactly $66 doing it.  That is  how much Vockerman said he'd reimburse me, remember?

Go on, boy, get moving!

Or you could just remember that the invitation was for your honeyboy Cortese to come down here, and STFU.

shows you have no character and are a disgrace to right-wing thinkers everywhere. You almost make me ashamed to be a conservative. Stand up yourself or shut the hell up!

Whyn't you come make me, boy?  Hell - you're closer to where I live than anyone else here.  C'mon and be a hero!

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 20, 2005 04:07 PM

[Yet another chickenshit pussy hiding behind his keyboard. (click, click)  Well, now, by your own reasoning, you get to come see me, don't you

Not that you will, of course - like your honeyboy Mykki before you, you're a dickless wonder hiding behind mommy's hoop skirt.  Sucks to be you, huh? (snicker)  -LSI]

Posted by: amused observer at July 20, 2005 08:51 PM

"Check higher in the thread. He dared me to come to Arlington, VA - when he himself, according to the phone book, lives in Alexandria."

Try using a phone book that isn't two years old, dipshit.

Posted by: Rev. Mykeru at July 20, 2005 10:58 PM

"But I'll give you the chance to prove me wrong, chump. I want you to go to Nashville, spend three days there or so, and come back - and I want you to spend exactly $66 doing it. "

Now that's either stupidity or a bald lie. You were offered reimbursement for travel expenses, one person citing $381 for airfare based on his pricing, or whatever the actual cost.

One thing that has come out since Lord Spatula: The Complete Tool made MetaFilter and Cruel Site of the Day (see July 19: When Keyboards Attack)is that real conservatives --as opposed to a dimwit wingnut putz like you -- are embarrassed by your lying, pussy ways.

Keep making shit up, Crager. This isn't going away. It is, just like you were warned in High School, on your permanent record.

Posted by: Rev. Mykeru at July 20, 2005 11:09 PM

Awwwwwww, whassa matter, widdle Mykki?  Did the chickenshit get his ass fact-checked and him's didn't like it?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww... (guffaw)

Still waiting for you down here, fuckstain.  Anytime you grow a set, wussy-boy.

Now that's either stupidity or a bald lie. You were offered reimbursement for travel expenses, one person citing $381 for airfare based on his pricing, or whatever the actual cost.

That's a direct quote from your boy Vockerman, chump.  Go ahead and call him stupid all you want - doesn't matter to me.

Not that it means anything, in any case.  I invited you down here - all the way down here,  not just halfway.  The fact is that YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO FACE ME.

And you can quote that,  too, chickenshit.  And the bottom line is that I don't give a flying fuck what  Cruel.com, MetaFilter, Fark or  Slash-dot have to say about it.  You're a fucking coward, Cortese, and you damned well know it.  You can take your "permanent record" bullshit and shove it up your candy ass.

And with that, this thread is closed.  Go have another romp in the hay with your inflatable mate, asswipe.

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at July 20, 2005 11:23 PM