Arlington Heights 49, O.D. Wyatt 33
TCU 51, BYU 50 (OT)
LSU 27, Tennessee 30 (OT)
Dallas 34, San Transexual 31

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets didn't look all that great in being the Chaparrals, but a win is a win is a win.  I'd like to see a little more on the defensive end, though.

Speaking of not looking all that great, what happened to LSU?  More to the point, what is it with my teams and fourth-quarter collapses?  I turned back to Monday Night Football with the Tigers up 21-0 halfway through the second quarter; LSU would go up 24-7 after three.  I figured that a three-touchdown lead was safe in Baton Rouge.

Beaux-y, was I  ever wrong.

At that point, Vols' quarterback Rick Clausen (wonder if he's any relation to Casey?), already off the bench in favor of starter Erik Ainge, led Tennessee to a pretty impressive comeback, aided in part by a Vol defense that apparently had decided they'd had enough.

There goes that #4 ranking. (sigh)

It looks like TCU and the Dallas Cowgirls are going to have a lot in common this season - both are losing games they have no business losing, and winning games they have no business winning.  Such was the case this weekend when both teams played about as crappy as they could possibly play - yet still found a way to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

The Frogs swiss-cheese secondary once again reared its ugly head on Saturday, giving up 623 yards passing.  Granted, it's BYU, and their passing game is usually one of the best in college football.

But it was not unlike Dallas-Washington, where the same cornerback was continually getting burned by the same receiver.  I wish I knew what Gary Patterson saw in Quincy "Toast" Butler - because I don't see it...and neither, apparently, do opposing quarterbacks.  More on that in a moment.

For the first two-plus quarters, this game exceedingly resembled the SMUT debacle.  Tye Gunn's knees looked like they were in mud, receivers' hands looked like they were coated in butter, the running game was going nowhere fast, and Cougar QB John Beck was having his way with the Swiss Cheese Brigade™ that is our secondary.  Even the BYU running game was shoving it down our throat, because Gary Patterson refuses to employ either a middle linebacker or noseguard in his precious 4-2-5 defense.

Then Gunn did what he seems to do best of all:  He got hurt.  (I didn't see any of this, for a wisp of a tendril of Hurricane Rita knocked out my electricity for about an hour.)  A shoulder stinger set Gunn down for the rest of the game.

Enter junior backup Jeff Ballard.  Ballard, who looks to have a better arm than Gunn, started chucking the ball all over the field.

Boom - 34-23.  Boom - 34-29.

After a BYU score, Ballard got the ball back.  Boom - 41-36.  Boom - 44-41.  A last-minute BYU field goal (during a drive that once again shredded the TCU secondary) got us to overtime, and then only after a Beck pass for the winning touchdown exceeded the receiver's grasp by about an inch and a half.

TCU won the coin toss in OT, and the Cougars wasted little time.  BYU speedball Todd Watkins took a first-down Beck pass to the house, beating the aforementioned Quincy "Toast" Butler.  This after fellow corner Drew Coleman had pretty much held Watkins, BYU's deep threat, to a standoff.

But no - Patterson and his excuse-for-a-defensive coordinator, Big Dickhead Bump-ass, had to put "Toast" on the speedball.  In fact, Butler's been getting burned on a consistent basis by receivers just like Watkins since he's been at TCU, but Patterson and Bumpkin keep throwing him out there as if they don't have anyone better.

Anyway, I digress.  It was at this point, with BYU up 50-44, that whatever has infected the TCU kicking game suddenly became contagious.  The BYU field goal that tied the score at 44 came on a low snap, and the one on the PAT was even worse.  It skipped in to the holder, who tried to run with it and got swarmed by the Frog defense.

On TCU's possession, Ballard drove the Froggies down to the 3, then handed off to wideout Cory Rodgers, who motored around the right side to the goal line.  There was  a controversy as to whether Rodgers fumbled before getting into the end zone, but the official's call was upheld on review.  Chris Manfredini's extra point turned out to be the difference.

In like fashion, the heretofore offensively punchless San Transexual FairyWhiners took the Dallas Cowgirls defense and beat it like the proverbial rag doll.  We'll cover that next.