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October 31, 2005
PFW: And this guy's still alive...?
During Green Bay's last drive against Cincinnati on Sunday, Packer quarterback Brett Favre dropped back to pass as the play was blown dead.
Without warning, a Bengals fan, who had somehow made his way onto the field unnoticed, sneaked up behind Favre and stripped the ball from Favre's grasp; he then sprinted away, hands held high clutching the ball, chased by Security.
My question: Why wasn't this asshole obliterated by whatever team was on the nearest sideline???
Arlington Heights 21, Trimble Tech 0
TCU 23, San Diego State 20
Oklahoma 31, Nebraska 24
LSU 56, North Texas 3
Dallas 34, Arizona 13
Arlington Heights punched its ticket to the playoffs by shutting out the Bulldogs. They'll get either Birdville or Azle in two weeks.
...
The surprise of the weekend was that North Texas got any points at all on Bo Pelini's defense. The Tigers basically played reserves the entire game against the Eagles - not that it mattered...
...
OU-Nebraska was every bit the classic it used to be. Punch. Counterpunch. Left. Right. Body blow after body blow.
OU jumped out to a 21-3 lead, then barely stayed ahead of the Huskers as they mounted an hellacious comeback.
Adrian Peterson finally returned to something resembling his form after fighting through an ankle injury for several weeks. He proved that the Sooners are a lot better team when he's close to healthy.
...
TCU went up 23-13 on the San Diego State Aztecs late in the fourth on a Chris Manfredini field goal after TCU's defense had intercepted Aztec quarterback Kevin O'Connell in the endzone with just over nine minutes left. Then kicker Peter LoCoco came through with yet another of his "why is this moron still on the team" moments, putting the subsequent kickoff out of bounds and setting up San Diego State on the 40. The Aztecs scored 90 seconds later.
After recovering the ensuing onside kick, a tough Robert Merrill run on third down just barely netted the first down and secured the Frog win.
TCU now plays for the Mountain West conference championship next week vs. Colorado State.
...
This was not nearly as big a win as the local pundits were saying it was supposed to be. Still, I'll take it - particularly since it netted me my second PFW in three weeks.
Bledsoe was 19 of 24 for 220, and rookie Marion Barber III ran the rock 27 times for 127 yards - the first Dallas back to eclipse the century mark this year.
Julius who?
Anthony Henry picked off one Josh McCown pass and ran it back for a touchdown before leaving the game late with an injury. Dallas' defense sacked McCown three times.
It was good for a much needed Dallas win going into the bye week - and another much-needed Perfect Football Weekend.
The PFW will return Friday for another shot at two in a row.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 30, 2005
Did you really think I'd be anyone else?
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess)
You are Foamy.
Congratulations, you are a rage filled squirrel who
spouts his views at any given moment. You know
what you like, (bagels with cream cheese) and
what you don't. (everything else) Chill out
before you give yourself an ulcer.
Which Neurotically Yours (Foamy) Character are you???
brought to you by Quizilla
I can hear you guys now: You're filled with rage, Spats??? Nawwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Posted by sgc284 at 04:38 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
October 28, 2005
PFW: 30-second political timeout
Usually, Denizens, I open up my weekly PFW preview post with a football-related story.
I'm going to break from that tradition today with a comment on this travesty of justice that a fucktard named Patrick Fitzgerald has foisted upon the American people.
(Probably a good thing, since I was about to get wound up on how butt-ugly the Virginia Teck Hokies' uniforms have become.)
Fitzgerald, you son-of-a-bitch, you were charged with investigating something that wasn't even a crime in the first place - "outing" a covert, internationally-based CIA agent. Except she wasn't covert, she wasn't international, and she was an analyst, not an agent.
You couldn't prove anything, just like we figured you couldn't, so you went on a fishing expedition to please your masters at Moron.org - didn't you???
Asked about what a reporter described as "Republican talking points" minimizing the significance of today's charges, the prosecutor said lying under oath "is a very, very serious matter" and a "serious breach of the public trust."
Uh-huh. So of course you can explain why Bill Clinton has never spent day one in a federal prison.
Go ahead. We've got allllllllll day.
He said, "We didn't get the straight story, and we had to take action."
A word of advice, Fitzfuckface: Should you ever get accused of something, I hope your memory is as good as you give Libby's credit for being. It'd warm the cockles of my heart to see your ass frog-marched into the back of a squad car because you couldn't remember what you did or said 18 months ago.
Earlier, Fitzgerald said in a statement, "When citizens testify before grand juries, they are required to tell the truth. Without the truth, our criminal justice system cannot serve our nation or its citizens. The requirement to tell the truth applies equally to all citizens, including persons who hold high positions in government."
I'll ascribe more credibility to you once I see Der Kaiser & the Duchess Hilarious holding down cells in Leavenworth or San Quentin.
Awright, on to the PFW. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have yet another crappy Saturday afternoon game, this time vs. the Trimble Tech Bulldogs. Tech is 1-7, and hasn't really looked that good all season long, so I'll take Heights and give you four. (Can you tell I'm losing faith in Heights to play much above its competition lately?)
The 20th-ranked Horned Frogs of TCU travel to Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego to take on the San Diego State Aztecs. Reports that a number 5 jersey would be on hand in case LaDainian Tomlinson was hanging around and suddenly forgot whom he was playing for now were unsubstantiated at press time.
Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners will travel to Lincoln, Nebraska Saturday to take on the Cornhuskers.
Last time they played this game, Nebraska was a PFW team and Oklahoma was the hated & feared. Amazing how one man (Bo Pelini) can change things around.
Unfortunately, Stoops' defense isn't quite enough this year to stop the West Coast Offense, even one run as incompetently as Bill Callahan's Huskers run it. I want OU and 12 in this one.
Speaking of Pelini, the seventh-ranked LSU Tigers finally get to play what was supposed to be their season opener against the University of North Texas Eagles, aka the "Mean Green".
Can you say "sacrificial lamb"? (snicker) Give me LSU and you can have as many points as you want. This squash will be big enough for a couple batches of my Kitchen Sink Stew™.
Sunday at noon, Arizona's Cardinals come to Irving to take on Dallas' Cowgirls. Every pundit I've heard on this game this week has the Cowboys not just winning, but winning big.
Therefore, we're going straight up and I'm picking the Cards in an upset. (Note that, if the 'Boys do still win, it still counts towards my Perfect Football Weekend. I can still follow a team, pull for them to win, but pick them to lose if I think they're going to. Pleasant surprises are a wonderful thing, y'know?)
We're back Monday for the recap. Let's start the tailgating party - lemme hear about your teams now (and no, Doctor Peckerwood, we don't give a shit about Manchester United or your fantasies about buggering Beckham. Got it? Good. (snicker))
Posted by sgc284 at 05:25 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
October 27, 2005
I really didn't need to know this...
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess)
This is something I really didn't need to know. Mithter Thulu Mister Sulu has come out of the closet.
Or rather, as he tells editor Alexander Cho, "It's not really coming out, which suggests opening a door and stepping through. It's more like a long, long walk through what began as a narrow corridor that starts to widen."
Funny thing about those wide corridors, Georgie boy. They don't always wind up where you think they're going to.
Just sayin', is all.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:37 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
BREAKING: Harriet Miers withdraws
And it's about fucking time, too.
More as I get it.
UPDATE: Okay, Denizens - here's more. With my comments interspersed, of course. (grin)
Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination to be a Supreme Court justice Thursday in the face of stiff opposition and mounting criticism about her qualifications.President Bush said he reluctantly accepted her decision to withdraw, after weeks of insisting that he did not want her to step down. He blamed her withdrawal on calls in the Senate for the release of internal White House documents that the administration has insisted were protected by executive privilege.
Oh, and I suppose that the ABJECT DESERTION OF HALF YOUR FUCKING CONSERVATIVE BASE had nothing to do with it, eh, President Linguinispine-ya, ya stupid goof?
"It is clear that senators would not be satisfied until they gained access to internal documents concerning advice provided during her tenure at the White House - disclosures that would undermine a president's ability to receive candid counsel," Bush said.
I think it's more clear that you'd be running the extreme risk of sacrificing '06 and '08 to the Demoscum. It's not like we have to go to the polls and vote, y'know.
And unless you now nominate someone qualified for the post, sir - you still run that risk.
"Harriet Miers' decision demonstrates her deep respect for this essential aspect of the constitutional separation of powers _ and confirms my deep respect and admiration for her."
More likely it demonstrates her innate ability to read the writing on the wall. Even she had a difficult time ignoring the obvious.
Miers told the president she was withdrawing at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday. In her letter dated Thursday, Miers said she was concerned that the confirmation process "would create a burden for the White House and our staff that is not in the best interest of the country."She noted that members of the Senate had indicated their intention to seek documents about her service in the White House in order to judge whether to support her nomination to the Supreme Court. "I have been informed repeatedly that in lieu of records, I would be expected to testify about my service in the White House to demonstrate my experience and judicial philosophy," she wrote.
"While I believe that my lengthy career provides sufficient evidence for consideration of my nomination, I am convinced the efforts to obtain Executive Branch materials and information will continue."
Yeah, Harriet, well - we don't. And this is what you get for basically being a Shrubya "trust me" nominee.
Bush wants us to trust him on judicial nominations, when he hasn't shown us that he can be trusted on things like this?
The source of our trust in Bush - indeed, the only reason why he won the '04 election in the first place - is chiefly due to his handling of the War on Terror. And since the Islamofucktard ragheads are still in Iraq exploding IEDs against our troops almost at will, and he's never re-opened major combat operations in that theatre like he's needed to, his track record there hasn't engendered as much trust as it should've.
Mr. President, you have one chance left, in this scribe's view. Botch this, and you run the risk of throwing the Republican Party back into minority status. For a long time to come.
Get your ass in gear and give us someone like Priscilla Owen or Janice Rogers Brown. Don't fuck this up again.
Update the 2nd: Those of you who question WorldNetDaily and Joseph Farah may want to note that Farah called this two weeks ago.
You guys probably owe Farah an apology.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 26, 2005
More
Well, I promised "more later".
It's now later. Here's more.
Those of you who know me know that I worked for the Orange Jack(ass) - that is to say, Cingular Wireless.
And yes - that's worked - as in past tense, as in "did, but not now".
As you all know, Cingular bought out AT&T Wireless, which I lovingly (?) referred to as "the Death Star" (where I got that reference, I can't remember, not that it matters right now). You'll recall that I lambasted the AT&T Wireless CIO (Chief Information Officer) royally for helping to put the company in that position.
(SIDE NOTE: By no means is Chris Corrado solely responsible for the demise of AT&T Wireless - CEO John Zeglis and the rest of his trained monkeys played their part, certainly - but Corrado didn't help things any.)
As a result of the buyout, we'd pretty much been casting our eyes upward at the imaginary guillotine hanging over our heads. Two months ago today, that guillotine fell on my head. My last day was yesterday.
Thus, a company that netted $222 million this last quarter alone can't afford a $40,000 techie.
The Orange Jack(ass) is supposedly real big on its reputation - what other people think of them. Here's one guy who thinks Cingular's reputation is dogshit.
So now I gotta go find a new gig. Posting may or may not be sporadic, depending on interview schedules, casting résumés hither & yon, that sort of thing.
Stay tuned.
Posted by sgc284 at 05:31 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
October 25, 2005
Snarl.
Denizens, just a heads-up: This is going to be a very bad day for Your Hero.
More later.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 24, 2005
PFW: Starring Drew Bledsoe as Vinny Testaverde...
I should've known better than to trust my PFWs to those old, lame-assed retread quarterbacks known as "Bill's guys"...
Arlington Heights 48, Polytechnic 7
TCU 48, Air Force 10
Oklahoma 37, Baylor 30 (2OT)
LSU 20, Auburn 17 (OT)
Dallas 10, Seattle Sea-hags 13
Memo to Coach Duke Christian: Only 48-7? Wyatt beat the shit out of those kids 70-3 last week, and the best you can do is 48-7?
...
Auburn contracted a case of LoCoco Syndrome - their kicker missed five field goal attempts, including one with less than a minute to go in regulation that would have won it for Auburn - then hit the upright on what would have been the tying FG in overtime to allow LSU to escape.
"About three of the kicks tonight, when I hit them I thought they were good. I got a little unlucky and they went right or left," Vaughn said. "The last one tonight, I thought I hit it pretty good and when I looked up I knew I was probably going to need a little bit of luck right there."
Oops.
...
Did I nearly call it, or what? Baylor just about made a prophet out of me (pun semi-intended) in coming > < this close to beating OU.
That was how much a fourth-down pass from Shawn Bell missed his receiver's hands, else we still might be playing.
...
Guess I shouldn't have worried about TCU, huh? Air Force kept it close for the first quarter and part of the second, but a punt block by TCU's Jesse Hejny set the Frogs up at the AF 21; four plays later, Jeff Ballard, after having hit Cory Rodgers with an 18-yard pass down to the one, sneaked in to give TCU a 21-10 lead with under five minutes to play in the first half. Air Force didn't challenge from that point on.
...
I've seen enough of the Bill Parcells era. I've seen enough of that fat-assed gym teacher and the old, dilapidated, half-assed retreads he brings in here to quarterback this team because they're "his guys". I've seen enough of his three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust offense where you can predict what his teams are going to run blindfolded. And I'm SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of the asshelmeted excuses-for-quarterbacks that he brings in throwing away the (#%*_@!_!!!!!! game!!!!!
Once again, Billy-boy Parcells conjured up a close-to-the-vest game plan that refused to take advantage of an opponents' depleted secondary. And once again, it bit him on his fat ass, thanks in large part to his fucking retread quarterback throwing the interception that led directly to the game-winning field goal for Seattle and that fat-assed fuckface of a coach, Mike Holmgren.
Third and four from the five, Bledsoe the Stiff-ass bootlegs right. Makes it down to the two. Fourth and one, quarterback sneak gets you the first, where you'd have four shots at the goal.
Parcells kicks the fucking field goal. You go for the touchdown, you get it, you win the game. You don't get any points out of it, it's not going to fucking matter anyway.
And a quick memo to Mike Zimmer and his sorry-assed defense: FOOTBALL GAMES ARE SIXTY MINUTES LONG, YOU DUMBASSES!!!
The Cowgirls' swiss-cheese defense lets the Seahags drive 89 yards down the field to tie the game in the last two minutes (after having held the Sea-hags to a field goal for the first 58), whereupon Bledsoe the Stiff throws an interception TO A FUCKING RESERVE CORNERBACK and lets him run 24 yards so that Josh Brown can kick a fucking 50-yard field goal with five seconds left to win the damned game.
If Jerry Jones wasn't such a limp-wristed pansy, he'd have fired Bill Parcells on the spot in Seattle and made him walk his fat ass all the way back to fucking Noo Joisey.
As it is, this franchise won't go anywhere as long as the Arkansas hick owns it. Cowboy fans might as well get used to shitty football until Owner Jethro (hat tip: Gil LeBreton of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram) decides he's done playing with his toy.
The PFW will return Friday for another shot.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 22, 2005
"Can't legislate morality", eh, Kansas?
Denizens, I think I may be coming around on Harriet Miers.
I mean if these assclowns are good enough for the Kansas Not-So Supreme Excuse-For-A Court, then Miers must not be such a bad nominee - right?
The Kansas Supreme Court on Friday unanimously struck down a state law that punished underage sex more severely if it involved homosexual acts, saying "moral disapproval" of such conduct is not enough to justify the different treatment.
And why the Hell™ not? Are these fucksticks on the so-called "high court" of Kansas trying to revive the long-since-debunked meme that "you can't legislate morality"? Are they now going to invalidate every fucking law on the books, because they pretty much all involve "moral disapproval" of some kind or other?
In a case closely watched by national groups on all sides of the gay rights debate, the high court said the law "suggests animus toward teenagers who engage in homosexual sex."
As bloody well it should. We are, after all, talking about an act of perversion against another human being.
Gay rights groups praised the ruling, while conservatives bitterly complained that the court intruded on the Legislature's authority to make the laws.
And the conservatives are right. Again. It's yet another case of half-assed, black-robed tyrants attempting to impose their beliefs on a public that doesn't want to see them imposed. Another case of tin-horned bench despots telling us what we can and can't do.
The case involved an 18-year-oldheterophobeman, Matthew R. Limon, who was found guilty in 2000 of performing a sex act on a 14-year-old boy and was sentenced to 17 years in prison. Had one of them been a girl, state law would have dictated a maximum sentence of 15 months.
Pardon me for asking this, but isn't the Catholic Church still reeling from a scandal involving this very thing - heterophobic sex acts perpetrated on underage boys? And wasn't the general consensus that priests who either admitted to or were caught diddling with said underage boys either be strung up or locked away for an hellaciously looooooong time?
And all a bunch of limp-wristed Kansas bench jockeys wanna do is give the Rump Ranger First Class™ perp 15 months?
The high court ordered that Limon be resentenced as if the law treated illegal gay sex and illegal straight sex the same. He has already served more than five years.
And this shitheel is still alive after all that time? The Kansas prison population had five years to make him their bitch and didn't? Gee - they must be slipping.
Limon's lawyer, James Esseks of the American Civil Liberties Union's
Memo to Dr. Herbie "Butt-Plug" Gamiscunt: Bet you're reeeeeeeal proud of the pro-NAMBLA tendencies of your honeyboys at the Assbanging Cocksuckers Liberties Union now, aren't you?
Lesbian and Gay Rights Project, said: "We are very happy that Matthew will thoon be getting out of prithon. We are thorry there ith no way to make up for the extra four yearth he thpent in prithon thimply becauthe he ith gay."
Why don't you just admit that you missed having one of your butt buddies around and be done with it, Jamie-poo? I mean, those conjugal visits at the prison were starting to be kind of a pain, weren't they?
Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline said in a statement that he does not plan to appeal.
A spineless, cowardly act that should - if Kansans are worth their salt at all - cost him his job come the next election cycle.
A lower court had ruled that the state could justify the harsher punishment as a way of protecting children's traditional development, fighting disease or strengthening traditional values. But the Supreme Court said the law was too broad to meet those goals."The statute inflicts immediate, continuing and real injuries that outrun and belie any legitimate justification that may be claimed for it," Justice Marla Luckert wrote for the court. "Moral disapproval of a group cannot be a legitimate state interest."
"Unless that group happens to be white heterosexual Christian males - then it's open season on 'em, bag limit four". Right, Marla, you Cupid Stunt™?
Ropes, trees, Kansas Soprano Court.
Some assembly...well, you know the drill.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 21, 2005
PFW: Pretty much de rigueur for the NFL...
Another week, another hurricane, another change in the NFL schedule.
Wilma's bearing down on South Florida, so the NFL has rescheduled the Chiefs-Dolphins game for tonight at 7 p.m. (Sadly, the game won't be televised nationally, so I s'pose I'll have to settle for college football on ESPN2 or somesuch.)
Oh, but here you've got Dick Vermeil, coach of the Chiefs (and a guy whom I've always believed was a couple cans shy of a six-pack), prattling on like it's some big rubber-chicken-circuit-award-banquet-type honor:
"They couldn't have picked a better team to send down there and play well," said Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil, whose team will fly to South Florida on Friday morning. "That's the way we're approaching it. We'll go down there and play our best football game of the year. The guys are in a good frame of mind. They accept it. We would have liked it to be a different way but we have no choice."
That's right, Dickhead. You don't have a choice - you're scheduled to go down there, like it or not - so why are you going on and on like the NFL somehow decided to send you down there as some sort of Hurricane Wilma charity-benefit game? What the Hell™ are you huffing on, son?
Sheesh.
On to this week's games. We're on a roll now, having claimed a whopping one-in-a-row for Perfect Football Weekends, so now's the time to capitalize. (Yeah, I know - like I had anything to do with it.)
My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets suffer the ignominy (sp?) of playing yet another Saturday afternoon game - this time against the Polytechnic (aka Poly - and again, I swear I'm not making this up) Parrots. Poly, as you may recall, is Heights' twin-brother school - the buildings are exact duplicates of each other. (Poly's orange-and-black may even be a color-negative of Heights' blue-and-gold - I dunno.)
Anyway, Poly's even worse this year than they usually are. They lost to O.D. Wyatt - a team Heights handled earlier in the year, 49-33 - by a whisker at 3-70.
Yeah - that's Wyatt 70, Poly 3.
Coach Duke Christian, this had best be a squash.
Also Saturday, the Horned Frogs of 21st-ranked TCU travel to Colorado Springs to take on the Falcons of the Air Force Academy. TCU can win this game - but Air Force ain't Army, and Army gave the Froggies all they could handle last week. If TCU wins this game, it'll be by less than four.
Saturday evening, Baylor travels to OU to take on the Sooners. I hate to admit this - but Baylor could very well win this game. They've improved, and the Sooners...well...
Sixteenth-ranked Auburn will travel to Baton Rouge to tangle with seventh-ranked LSU. This is a game where you wish neither team had to lose - I like both these teams. I'll take LSU and give you ten, because I think Bo Pelini's defense is starting to get it in gear.
Sunday afternoon, Dallas is on the road for a game with the Seattle Seahawks. They're starting to tout Dallas in the media as one of the favorites coming out of the NFC.
I wonder about that, since I saw both the Washington and Oakland games. Granted, they handled Filthydelphia and turned back the New York Football Giants - but I don't have a whole lot of confidence in this team yet. Give me the Cowboys and six.
(Incidentally, just FYI, PFWs are measured in straight-up results. We do not gamble in the Realm™ - particularly after the last time Ozymandias McCool cleaned up on Merlin. We were three hours extracting that unicorn's horn out of Ozy's ass. Wouldn't have taken that long, except the unicorn was still attached, and, well... 
)
We're back Monday for the recap.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:58 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 20, 2005
High-tech computer sales jargon
Yet another One-Legged Man™ day, Denizens, so here's something else from the Grab-Bag.
Hopefully I'll have time to launch the PFW tomorrow. (sigh)
High Tech Computer Sales JargonNEW - Different color from previous design
ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours
ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!
BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, mabey this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain
LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing
Mheh.
Posted by sgc284 at 03:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 19, 2005
Temperature scale
'Twas a One-Legged Man™ day in the Realm™ today, Denizens, so here's something out of the Grab-Bag™. (A certain Austin-based DevilDog should appreciate this.)
Fahrenheit / Celsius
· +50 / +10
o New York tenants turn on the heat
o Wisconsinites plant gardens
· +40 / +4
o Californians shiver uncontrollably
o Wisconsinites sunbathe
· +35 / +2
o Italian cars don't start
· +32 / 0
o Distilled water freezes
· +30 / -1
o You can see your breath
o You plan a vacation in Florida
o Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
o Wisconsinites eat ice cream
· +25 / -4
o Boston water freezes
o Californians weep pitiably
o Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
· +20 / -7
o Cleveland water freezes
o San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
o Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
· +15 / -10
o You plan a vacation in Acapulco
o Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
o Wisconsinites go swimming
· +10 / -12
o Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
o Too cold to snow
o You need jumper cables to get the car going
· 0 / -18
o New York landlords turn on the heat
o Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!
· -5 / -21
o You can hear your breath
o You plan a vacation in Hawaii
· -10 / -23
o American cars don't start
o Too cold to skate
· -15 / -26
o You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
o Miamians cease to exist
o Wisconsinites lick flagpoles
· -20 / -29
o Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
o Politicians actually do something about the homeless
o People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
· -25 / -32
o Too cold to kiss
o You need jumper cables to get the driver going
o Japanese cars don't start
o Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training
· -30 / -34
o You plan a two-week hot bath
o Pilsener freezes
o Bock beer production begins
o Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
· -38 / -39
o Mercury freezes
o Too cold to think
o Wisconsinites button top button
· -40 / -40
o Californians disappear
o Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
o Wisconsinites put on sweaters
· -50 / -46
o Congressional hot air freezes
o Alaskans close the bathroom window
o Green Bay Packers practice indoors
· -60 / -51
o Walruses abandon Aleutians
o Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
o Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
o Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
· -70 / -57
o Glaciers in Central Park
o Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
o Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie
· -80 / -62
o Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
o Rhinelander Birkebeiner
o Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
· -90 / -68
o Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
o Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
o Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer
· -100 / -73
o Santa Claus abandons North Pole
o Wisconsinites pull down earflaps
· -173 / -114
o Ethyl alcohol freezes
o Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans
· -297 / -183
o Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
o Microbial life survives only on dairy products
· -445 / -265
o Superconductivity
· -452 / -269
o Helium becomes a liquid
· -454 / -270
o Hell freezes over
· -456 / -271
o Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
· -458 / -272
o Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
· -460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
o All atomic motion ceases
o Wisconsinites allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy
Dammit, can we bring some o' that down here??!?!?!?! (grrr)
Posted by sgc284 at 09:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 18, 2005
Teddy & water - and they survived???
The Department of History Repeating Itself chimes in today with this story about Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator™ once again near a body of water with people's lives on the line - and once again he turned his back on them.
Fortunately, however, this time no one died.
The Cape Cod Times reports the Massachusetts Democrat was walking his two Portuguese waterdogs on the shore at about 11:15 a.m. when he spotted the men cut off from the shore by rising waters.Hyannis Fire Capt. Craig Farrenkopf told the paper Kennedy and a friend tried to retrieve the men in a 13-foot Whaler before they were forced back by rough waters.
One presumes that it wasn't King Chappaquiddick's attorney this time.
Shortly after the attempt, a crew from the fire department was able to pick up the men in their 20s in three trips and bring them back to shore. They were transported to Cape Cod Hospital with mild hypothermia.
They were fortunate. Some who have depended on the Fat-Assed Fop™ to save them from raging bodies of water found themselves dead shortly thereafter.
The six had been fishing at the end of the jetty, where uneven rocks make walking difficult when tides rise. The Times reports heavy winds topped 35 miles per hour, making harbor waters choppy.Farrenkopf said Sen. Kennedy waited on shore as the rescues took place.
Probably because he didn't have the cover of night this time like he did back in 1969.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 17, 2005
PFW: "Because I want one!!!"
Memo to Keyshawn Johnson: Think maybe Drew Bledsoe had a freakin' point???
Arlington Heights 16, South Hills 13
TCU 38, Army 17
Oklahoma 19, Kansas 3
LSU 21, Florida 17
Dallas 16, New York 13 (OT)
Remember I said that for South Hills to beat Arlington Heights, they'd have to shut them out?
Well, South Hills shut out the Yellow Jacket offense.
Trouble was, they had a bit more difficulty with the other two phases of Heights' game. The Jacket defense returned an interception 39 yards for a touchdown and forced a safety from the Scorpion offense on a blocked punt, and another punt was returned 40 yards for the other score.
I don't know if I'd be counting on a playoff spot from this bunch, if their offense can't generate so much as a field goal against the South Hills defense.
...
It can now be made official: This is a rebuilding year for the Oklahoma Sooners.
When you can only get 19 points against the freakin' Kansas Jayhawks for Cthulu's sake, something's wrong.
OU probably needs to hope Rhett Bomar can mature as a quarterback and the defense can grow up while Bob Stoops retools his offensive line. Billy Sims himself couldn't run behind that motley crew.
...
LSU survived a strong challenge from the Urban Meyer express, aka the Florida Gators, in coming from behind to win at Baton Rouge, where they had lost their last three.
"Survived" is the word for it, too. Florida forced five turnovers, 11 penalties and five sacks of quarterback Jamarcus Russell.
Needless to say, Les Miles was not happy.
"There's got to be a stronger push and a greater commitment by our team," he said. "We're going to fix it. If you turn the ball over the amount of times that we did and you have penalties that are unforced ... we will not be able to do the things that this team is capable of doing."This football team has a lot in front of it. Right now, we're just a sloppy team on offense," he said.
Good luck with all that, Les. Lotta that going around nowadays.
...
TCU didn't put away Army until late. With a couple of exceptions, the defense did a fairly admirable job against the Black Knights' offense, thanks in part to three interceptions, two by the much-maligned Quncy "Toast" Butler, who had at least one for the third straight game.
(Side note: Memo to whoever's reading me over at TCU: Tell Quincy I said "nice work, don't let up".)
Jeff Ballard threw two touchdown passes and ran for two more as the Froggies ran up over 400 yards of offense and pulled away in the fourth quarter.
One of the classic moments in the game occurred in the 3rd quarter with about eight minutes left. Army was driving, and on 2nd and one, a timeout was called by the referee. Now, this crew is never going to be God's gift to officiating - but they did provide a thimbleful of entertainment:
REFEREE (on mic, to crowd): "Time out on the field. This is an official's timeout"
ARMY player (in background): "Why?"
REF (without turning off mic): "Because I want one!!!"
CROWD (hearing the entire exchange): BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAH...!!!
...
Speaking of laughing, you'll pardon me if I'm LMAO at Keyshawn Johnson Right About Now™. After making a public spectacle of himself in throwing a temper tantrum last week at Drew Bledsoe for the cardinal sin of suggesting he should do a better job of holding on to the ball after catching a pass...Keyshawn goes right out and does the same damned exact thing yesterday against the New York Football Giants: Catch, turn, step, hit, fumble.
The only difference is that this time, NY didn't return it for a touchdown; Dallas was fortunate to hold the Giants to three. In fact, for the first 58 minutes of the game yesterday, Dallas did an outstanding job of just that - holding the league-leading New York scoring offense to just two field goals. They sacked Eli Manning four times, allowed the Giants just one-for-eleven on third down conversions and held noted Cowboy-killer Tiki Barber to just 64 yards.
But in the last two minutes, NY finally took a look at the Redskin tapes, got Jeremy Shockey isolated on our favorite bumbling twosome (Aaron Gleen and Roy Williams), and tied the game after the Giants traveled to the Dallas 24 on the strength of an Manning pass to Plaxico Burress.
All's well that ended well, however. Dallas won the toss and moved smartly down the field, thanks mostly to a 26-yard catch of a Bledsoe pass by Jason Witten, setting the 'Boys up in FG range.
Four plays later, José Cortez was true on a 45-yarder for the win - and for my first bona fide Perfect Football Weekend in well over a year. (Given the teams I'm following, I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to score another one again. Phew. (grin))
The PFW will return Friday to see if we can make it two in a row.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 16, 2005
Okay, Muir, you can join the Alliance now...
We've all taken our potshots at the Puppy Blender™ these last few years, so I guess it was about time for Chris Muir to take his crack at him, too. (grin)
Posted by sgc284 at 10:43 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 15, 2005
Redefining "airing dirty laundry in public"
Back during the divorce from Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme™, I was constantly advised by people not to write about her backwoods country-hick ass on these pages. Something about not giving her anything she could hand to her fat-assed excuse-for-an-attorney, if memory serves.
On the other hand, Steffi & I had nothing on this couple...
A couple who apparently aired their grievances with each other in public have been told to stop being "immature" and seek counselling.Their failing relationship was made public when a banner hung over the A27 Brighton bypass signed "JBS" said: "Wendy, I want a divorce".
A replacement banner then read: "No way. You are the cheat! Wendy."
Now that's what I call airing dirty laundry in public. You guys think that maybe that relationship might be on the rocks? (chuckle)
A spokesman for Sussex Police said permission had to be given for signs to be put up at the side of the road."This may seem amusing but our job is casualty reduction. We do not want people looking up into the sky and not on the road," he said.
"Amusing" doesn't do it justice, Officer. They don't make soap operas this good. 
The first 6ft-wide banner was draped from a bridge over the bypass in the Hollingbury area last week, with the angry riposte placed at exactly the same spot a few days later.Apart from the initials and the name Wendy the identity of the couple has not been revealed.
However, a senior counsellor for the relationship advice group Relate said it was clear they were very angry with each other.
Nawwwww!!! Y'think???
Christine Northam said: "These signs show that this couple are acting out the turmoil of the break-up of their marriage in front of an audience."They must be very angry to do this in such a public way. It is certainly very immature and we would urge them to seek counselling... they seem furious."
Actually, I'd like to see how this turns out. Now there's a reality series I might tune in for... 
Posted by sgc284 at 08:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 14, 2005
Drugs in yer head
Denizen Elephant Man has provided us with our outrageous humor for the day.
Clicketh thou here, and haveth nothing in thy mouth whilst doing so (translation: massive spew warning).
The E-man is obviously bucking for a place on the masthead, no doubt... 
Posted by sgc284 at 09:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
PFW: Thought they got rid of the bad influence...?
The Minne-haha ViQueens find themselves in a little bit of a controversy this week.
Seems the Viking rookies took the team on a lake cruise - and...well...things got a little out of hand.
Chartered boat crew members have detailed their allegations to authorities of Minnesota Vikings players engaging in a sex party during a lake cruise, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported.[...]
A lawyer for crew members on the two boats involved in the cruise on Lake Minnetonka said the workers told investigators they had to walk around players and women engaged in sex acts.
"There was lap dancing with a fair amount of cash floating around the floor with the dancers, leading quickly into sexual acts in a nature so explicit imagination wasn't necessary," said attorney Stephen Doyle, adding that in the atmosphere the crew "were frightened to death."
Y'know, I thought that getting rid of Randy Moss was supposed to put a stop to shit like this. Hm.
Let's go to the PFW. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have the South Hills Scorpions this week. Given SHHS' pattern this season - if Heights scores, they win. The Scorpions are 2-4 on the season, and both those wins were shutouts. Heights should win this in a walk.
Then again, they should've beaten Western Hills a couple of weeks ago, so...
Westpoint invades Fort Worth Saturday as the Army Black Knights come to town to take on the TCU Horned Frogs. This is TCU's Homecoming - and, as is tradition, you always try to schedule someone you can beat for Homecoming. For some reason, however, TCU always seems to have trouble with Army, so we'll see.
Saturday afternoon, 11th-ranked Florida and the Urban Meyer Express rumbles into Baton Rouge for a matchup with Bo Pelini and 10th-ranked LSU. Honestly, I don't think the Tigers can hang with the Gators, so give me LSU and 13.
Saturday evening, Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners will travel to Lawrence, Kansas to take their frustrations out on the KU Jayhawks. Each OU loss has been followed by a fairly comfortable win, and Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk ain't much to write home about this year, so look for the Sooners to win comforably. (They'd better, if Stoops doesn't want to start hearing rumblings about his job.)
Sunday afternoon, Eli Manning, Jeremy Shockey and the New York Football Giants come to Texas Stadium to take on the Dallas Cowboys. Thus, of course, raising the question: Which Cowboy team shows up? The one that embarrassed itself vs. Washington & Oakland? Or the one that manhandled Donna McNabb and Terri Owens last week?
Let's hope Bill Parcells learned his lesson last week and allows Drew Bledsoe to start throwing the ball all over the lot. NY's secondary is good, no question, but Philly's secondary had three Pro Bowlers in it. I'm gonna say Dallas by four.
We're back Monday with the recap.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 13, 2005
Separated at birth...?
Got this off of Leno last night:
Mhehhehhehhehheh... 
Posted by sgc284 at 12:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 12, 2005
Laura: Helping Shrubya defend the indefensible
Okay, did John-boy F'n Qetchup-ass and his pet "shove it" bimboid T'Raisin don "W" & "Laura" outfits and go occupy the White House while we weren't looking?
I mean, it's bad enough that President Linguini-ya is off nominating less-than-fully-qualified folks for the Supreme Court like he is. But to have Laura, one of the more intelligent First Ladies we've had in that house for a while, say what she said in defense of her husband's nomination...well, it just makes one wonder. I mean, this is honestly something I'd've expected to hear come from the rum-raisin-laden mouth of the Widow Heinz.
First lady Laura Bush joined her husband in defending his nominee to the U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday and said it was possible some critics were being sexist in their opposition to Harriet Miers.
Gee, Laura, that'll be news to Edith Jones, Priscilla Owen and Janice Rogers Brown, y'know? Then again, would you mind telling me why in the Hell™ a Republican First Lady, generally thought to be a borderline conservative at the very least, is suddenly throwing around the sexism card like it was craps at the casino? Last I checked, conservatives were supposed to be the ones who didn't care about the race or sex of an individual, but rather on achievements and accomplishments.
Weren't we?
"That's possible, I think that's possible," Mrs. Bush said when asked on NBC's "Today Show" whether criticism that Miers lacked intellectual heft were sexist in nature. She said Miers' accomplishments as a lawyer made her a role model to young women.
Well, that'd be just peachy, Laura - if, as has been pointed out on several other blogs, I were looking for a mere lawyer.
But weren't we searching for a Supreme Court associate justice? Did I miss that memo?
A week after President George W. Bush nominated Miers for a lifetime appointment to the highest U.S. court,
Okay, lemme sidetrack here for a second. WaPo, we know already that a Supreme Court appointment is generally for life, okay? Chief Justice Rehnquist painfully reminded us of that a couple months ago when he died. Quit pandering to your leftist, below-average-intelligence usual readership and let's not waste space and newsprint stating the obvious, okay?
Thank you. We now return to our regularly-scheduled First Lady-bashing...
he remained on the defensive against conservative critics within his own Republican Party.They say Bush missed a chance to pick an experienced judge with clear conservative credentials who would firmly move the nine-member court to the right on such social issues as abortion, gay rights and church-state separation.
"Just because she hasn't served on the bench, doesn't mean that she can't be a great Supreme Court judge," said Bush, whose job approval ratings have sagged below 40 percent for the first time ever in recent polls.
No one is saying that, Shrubya. What we're saying is that we expected a better nominee than Harriet Miers. We expected someone of the caliber of a Scalia or a Thomas - someone like Miguel Estrada or Michael Luttig or the aforementioned Jones, Owen or Brown.
Given that the Republicans control the Senate - or had you forgotten that? - we expected something more than a compromise pick, which is clearly what Harriet Miers is. We expected you to go to the mat for the people who put you back in the White House for the second term that eluded your father - and you and your fellow country-club RINOs have told us conservatives once again what we could go do with ourselves.
Although some conservatives have supported the nomination of Miers to replace retiring Sandra Day O'Connor, others have suggested Bush withdraw it and submit a new name, an appeal the president rejected last week.
Fine with us, Waffleya. They're your midterm elections, after all...
Mrs. Bush, who had publicly supported the nomination of a woman to the high court, noted that Miers had been president of the Texas Bar Association."I know Harriet well, I know how accomplished she is, I know how many times she's broken the glass ceiling herself. She is a role model for young women around our country," she said.
Yeah, well, Laura - there's no glass ceiling to break here, and like I've already said - we're looking for a qualified Supreme Court associate justice...not a "role model"
Slight difference there. Suggest you go back to that library of yours and research it, hm?
Posted by sgc284 at 08:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 11, 2005
"Mr. President - put up that wall!!!"
This is a damned good idea.
I'd recommend steel walls encased in this material to discourage pick-axing one's way through it. Revitalizes the steel industry and makes it harder for guest workers undocumented immigrants illegal aliens to do something they're not supposed to be doing anyway, i.e. crossing our borders illegally.
Plus, I think I'd sprinkle a few snipers sentries with outstanding hand/eye coordination along that wall at random intervals. Just to keep the aliens guessing.
But that's just me.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 10, 2005
PFW: Parcells doesn't read this blog...does he???
Wow. Who knew that Bill Parcells is a Denizen? (chuckle)
Arlington Heights 23, Dunbar 17
TCU 28, Wyoming 14
Oklahoma 12, Texas 45
LSU 34, Vanderbilt 6
Dallas 33, Philthydelphia 10
Either Dunbar is better than I thought they were, or Arlington Heights isn't that great this year. Nevertheless, Coach Duke Christian keeps his job one more week, I guess.
...
As predicted, LSU was too much for Vandy, though the Tigers let them hang around for longer than they probably should've, although Bo Pelini - LSU's defensive coordinator and the sole reason I'm following the Tigers this year in the first place - is doing his job quite admirably.
...
Bet Bob Stoops wishes he had Pelini back Right About Now™.
What a difference a year makes. Oklahoma scored the same 12 points it scored last year, but...uh...well, at least I didn't predict a shutout like I did last year. (grin)
Saturday's OU-Texas game was as ugly as had been predicted, although the Sooners did give the Shorthorns all that they wanted for at least a little while. TU simply had too much firepower for a team that proved itself unable to stop TCU.
...
Speaking of TCU, it may be time to start believing in this team.
Certainly the Wyoming Cowboys do. A team that had won its previous four games saw purple & white and suddenly couldn't keep its hands on the ball. The Cowboys committed seven turnovers - one an interception by the heretofore highly-criticized cornerback Quincy Butler (who I am guessing reads this blog, because he's been halfway decent since I tore into him a couple weeks ago) - setting the Frogs up with a comfy 28-7 halftime lead, and they pretty much contained Wyoming from there.
...
Okay, who were you guys decked out in silver & blue yesterday at Texas Stadium? And what have you done with the Cowboys?
Bill Parcells has been characterized in recent years as a coach who likes to play games conservatively, keep things close with his defense, and then win the game in the fourth quarter. And indeed - that's how the first four games have pretty much gone for the Cowboys this year. Parcells even said this past week that his play-calling would likely remain conservative.
Memo to Andy Reid: Suck-errrrrrrrrrrrrr... (chortle)
Dallas stretched the field on four of its first five plays enroute to 17 first-quarter points, then spent the rest of the day righteously throttling Donna McNabb into a mini-temper tantrum and a perpetual scowl on the Beagle sideline. (In fact, Philly's only touchdown came on a fumble return by Sheldon Brown. Ergo, Dallas kept Donna McNabb and Little Terri Owens out of the end zone - and when was the last time that happened, hmmmmmm???)
Terry Glenn had two TD grabs for the 'Boys, winding up with seven catches for 118; Jason Witten added 80 yards on seven catches of his own, and even little-used Lousaka Polite got into the act, doing his impersonation of Daryl Johnston and rumbling for a 12-yard touchdown.
Donna was sacked six times, led by Greg Ellis and Demarcus Ware, who got a sack for the third straight week. All in all, a hellacious effort from a team that desperately couldn't afford to lose a second division game this early in the season.
The PFW returns Friday for another go-round.
Posted by sgc284 at 02:19 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 08, 2005
How to tell a man his fly is open
Denizen and semi-regular contributor Lady Heather sends us this, courtesy of Mr. Letterman:
Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down...
by David Letterman
10. The cucumber has left the salad.9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars...but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped...
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.
Mhheh...
Posted by sgc284 at 09:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 07, 2005
PFW: PC and the OU-Texas Shootout
One of the things that I've loved about football is its relative lack of political correctness. You run, you hit, you tackle, you have fun. Nothing sissified about this game, no sir.
(Well, except when it comes to protecting certain wusses (*coughDonnaMcNabbTerriOwenscough*), but we won't talk about that right now.)
But that phenomonon that one of my old friends called "creeping liberalism" is starting to worm work worm its way into the game...particularly the college variety. Which is where we find ourselves as we kick off this week's PFW.
You already know how the NCAA tried to stick its nose into Florida State's business where it didn't belong, and how Florida State's subsequent threat to sue the Hell™ out of them caused the NCAA to cave in. (The No Cojones Asinine Asshelmets decided after that to pick on someone who might not have the resources to fight back - namely, the University of North Dakota. We'll see how that one goes, won't we? Can someone say "equal protection"? Sure you can...)
Anyway, Saturday comes the annual football war between the Oklahoma Sooners and the (*hack, spit*) Texas Shorthorns (*hack, spit*).
(Memo to TU'ers everywhere: This ain't personal. I just despise Mack Brown - he's a fucking outsider who's never won anything substantial in his career. Granted, he replaced the offensive snoozefestmeister Fred Akers, but then Akers never should've been there in the first place. Anyway, get rid of Mack Brown, go tell Tom-ass Hicks to go eff himself, and all will be forgiven.)
For the last few years, this game has been officially known as the Red River Shootout. (Those of us with ages approaching that of dirt remember it simply as OU-Texas or Texas-OU, depending on one's allegiances.)
But apparently the term "shootout" is a little too violent for the pansy-assed, limp-wristed wussy-types who seem to have gained control over the promotion of the game. It's now going to be called the (*hack, spit*) Red River Rivalry (*hack, spit*).
You heard right, Sportz Fanz™. The Red River Rivalry.
This is the best they could come up with? A namby-pamby, non-threatening, non-violent, pussified boring name like Red River Rivalry?????
Memo to the fuckhead(s) who came up with this one: A rivalry, if you'd bother to look up the definition, encompasses - in the cases of colleges who participate in more than one sport - more than just one game in a given sport. OU and Texas are more than just rivals in football - they're in the same conference, so that means they're rivals in basketball, baseball, soccer, track, badminton, tiddlywinks...you name it, they're rivals therein.
This is one game. One freakin' solitary game. You dumbasses have taken the pageantry, the atmosphere, the abject hatred each school has for the other and gone and weakened it by giving it a pussified name like "Red River Rivalry".
Fuck each and every one of you up the ass, and the Yugo you rode in on.
Awright, that said - let's get to the game and crank up the PFW, shall we? The 100th installment of OU-Texas starts at noon Saturday in the Cotton Bowl, and TU is heavily favored. And, based on this year's performance, the Shorthorns have every right to be. They're the number-two ranked team in the country, and they're going up against a group that couldn't beat the motley crew that gave the SMUT Shitland Ponies their only victory.
(UPDATE: The Shitland Ponies have just beaten UAB. UAB, how the Hell™ did you let that happen???)
TU has possibly the nation's best quarterback in Vince Young, while the Sooners are starting a freshman who didn't even begin the season as the starter.
All that said, OU generally reserves some of its best games for TU, so we'll see. But it won't surprise me if Little Mackie Brown finally breaks through against Bob Stoops in a big way tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets draw the short straw as far as scheduled games go (honestly, if you're in high school, you want to be playing Friday night - not Saturday afternoon at 3:00 when you could be watching OU-Texas) when they take on the Dunbar Wildcats. Dunbar is a high-powered team that's nationally respected and feared.
In basketball.
Memo to Duke Christian: You've already lost one district game - that had best be the extent of it.
And the TUC...uh, TCU...Horned Frogs find out just how much of a chance they have at a Mountain West Conference championship tomorrow afternoon when they take on the Wyoming Cowboys up in Laramie. TCU's been decent thus far, but this game scares me to death. They lost their season opener to Florida, and have not lost since, with three of their four wins coming in rather convincing fashion. Give me TCU and 10 points - and even that might not be enough.
Number 11 LSU (there...that's more like it) travels to Vanderbilt for an evening game - and while Vandy will put up a fight, I think LSU has too much for them.
Sunday, The World's Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever™, Donna McPansyass and his half-assed sister Little Terri Owens come to Dallas to take on the Cowboys. As usual, the 'Boys won't be able to get to Donna because his line holds on every fucking play, and should they be lucky enough to lay so much as a finger on either Donna or Terri, the NFL will find a way to outlaw the technique used next season. That fat honkin' Campbell's-soup-hawkin' mommy of Donna's will bleat and squeal about it until they do.
(We're still waiting, of course, for the NFL to take action against the Beagles for driving Michael Irvin's noggin into the Veterans Stadium concrete and ending his career. But don't so much as breathe on Terri Owens - that's a flag and a fine. Isn't it, Paul Tagliabue, you goat-felching dickweed?)
Can you tell I'm not real crazy about my chances for a PFW this weekend? 
Back Monday for the recap. In the meantime, let the virtual tailgating begin! 
Posted by sgc284 at 01:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 06, 2005
40,000 strong and climbing
Unbeknownst to me while I was running through my mp3 collection, unique visitor number 40,000 to this site came by around 8:05.
As I did about 10,000 visitors ago, let me pause once again to thank you for taking time out of your day to stop by. Without you...well, this blog would still exist, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.
Thanks, Denizens.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
In da tub
Denizens, despite the fact that there's tons o' stuff on which to blog, I just didn't really feel like it today. Rough day at work and my head feels like it's in a vise grip, which tends to sap motivation, y'know?
Then I heard this. (It's about 1.2 megs, so let the Dial-up Denizens be forewarned.)
Spew warnings.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 05, 2005
PotKettleBlack™, Part the 717,453rd...
The Department of "He Can Dish It Out, But" chimes in today with a report of the ongoing semi-quasi-sorta-kinda-feud between Vice President Cheney and Chuckie Rangel.
This time, it's all about age.
Vice President Dick Cheney's feud with Democratic Rep. Charles Rangel was perpetuated Wednesday when the 75-year-old congressman said Cheney "ought to be ashamed of himself" for a remark about his age.Months of verbal attacks from Rangel
Okay, so let me see if I can understand this: Chucky unleashes a months-long verbal assault on the Vice President, refuses to let up - then, when Cheney gets in one or two zingers back at Chuckie, he pouts about it.
"Mr. Kettle, there's a Mr. Pot on line 2. Something about you being...uh...black..."
turned into a back and forth on Monday when the 64-year-old vice president said Rangel is "losing it," later adding that "Charlie is a lot older than I am, and it shows."
Actually, Mr. Vice President, I think you might have misspoke a bit. Chuckie lost it a helluva long time ago.
After an appearance at City Hall on Wednesday, Rangel was asked when the dispute would die."I think it ends when he apologizes for attacking me as a senior citizen.
Then I think you'd best grab a Snickers©, Chuckie, baby. Looks like you're gonna be there a while.
It's true that I'm much older than he is, but that has nothing to do with mental alertness," Rangel said.
That's true enough. Cheney will have more of his faculties at 75 than you had at 50.
Rangel has suggested in recent interviews that Cheney, who suffers from heart trouble, might not be healthy enough to do his job."I would like to believe he's sick rather than just mean and evil," Rangel said last Friday on the cable channel NY1.
Yeah, and we'd like to think you had more than .1 functioning brain cells, and that the matter between those elephantine ears of yours was grey, rather than fecal.
You're a Demoscum, though, so fat chance of that.
During an interview on Monday with nationally syndicated radio host Rush Limbaugh, Cheney said he was bewildered by Rangel's attacks.
The Democratic lawmaker is the dean of New York's congressional delegation, and one of the loudest critics of the Bush administration on Capitol Hill."The fact that he would make a crack at my age, he ought to be ashamed of himself," Rangel said. "He should look so good at 75."
See above, Chuckie. He'll also look better at 75 than you did at 50, dumbass.
Posted by sgc284 at 05:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 04, 2005
On Miers
I'd opine at length about the Harriet Miers nomination for the Soprano Supreme Court - but Misha beat me to the punch yet again.
I will say this, though: We already know that she's in favor of having an International Criminal Court, with all the resulting surrender of our national sovereignty that implies - and that she has no problem giving heterophobes the same rights as heterosexuals (and please, people, don't insult my intelligence - we all know that the people who foisted this questionnaire on her wanted her to say, in effect, that it was okay for sodomites to marry, okay?).
Given these two items alone, I'm even more against this nominee than I was against Roberts. And, given that far more qualified and ideologically satisfactory women, let alone men, are out there for Bush to have nominated - then yes, count me in with those who feel betrayed yet again by the Party of Stupid™.
Memo to Ken Mehlman: I have no qualms with staying home, not only in '06, but in '08 as well. Get that through your thick-assed head before it's too late.
UPDATE: Hmmm. It appears as though one of our sources has some lines crossed.
The SpatulaGoddess brings to our attention that the document on which Worldnetdaily bases its article is merely a list of potential agenda items, not a report in and of itself - and that any ABA member could put something on that list if they so desired.
Drilling down a little further, WND reports that
As a city councilwoman, Miers also said Dallas had a responsibility to pay for AIDS education and patient services. And she courted the support of the Lesbian/Gay Coalition of Dallas in her successful 1989 campaign
when in fact, the PDF of the form specifically shows that she did not seek these heterophobes' endorsement.
Would seem to be a little bit of New York Slime-ish reporting on the part of WND. One hopes that's the exception, rather than the rule.
Note that this doesn't necessarily change my opinion of Harriet Miers. I'd still rather see Janice Rogers Brown in that spot.
But when an error is respectfully pointed out to me, I've no problem making a correction. Some folks here still don't seem to have figured that out just yet...
Posted by sgc284 at 04:54 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 03, 2005
PFW: Too clever by half
For years, Bill Parcells has been tagged with the label "Football Genius". Sunday, Parcells proved that even geniuses can be too clever by half.
Arlington Heights 7, Western Hills 14 (OT)
TCU 49, New Mexico 28
Oklahoma 43, Kansas State 21
LSU 37, Mississippi State 7
Dallas 13, Oakland 19
As expected, Heights-Hills came down to overtime. Hills scored in OT, Heights didn't. Duke Christian, if you only win one district game per year, it needs to be Western Hills. Get with the program, bud.
...
As I recall, I predicted OU in a squeaker against K-State. Gotta admit - I like those 22-point squeakers. (grin)
However, the story in Norman Saturday night wasn't the game - it was what was happening about a couple hundred yards from the stadium. An engineering student apparently committed suicide by blowing himself up.
I say "apparently" because while the police are calling it a suicide, a second bomb was found in a nearby courtyard. An investigation continues. The SpatulaGoddess has an interesting take thereupon.
...
LSU turned in a workmanlike effort in taking out its Tennessee frustrations out on MSU. I imagine Bo Pelini was kicking ass and taking names this week in practice.
...
One could claim that the actual final score in Fort Worth Saturday night was Prevailing Southerly Breezes 63, TCU 14, New Mexico 0.
And one would've had a pretty strong case. Out of the eleven touchdowns scored in the game, nine of them went to the north end zone. As the two teams exchanged sides of the field, you could almost see momentum physically shift as if it were a weathervane.
TCU won the toss and elected to defer until the second half (as is their usual custom), choosing to take the wind in the first & fourth quarters. And promptly went out on the strength of that wind and put a massive hurt on the Lobos, helped by two interceptions, one of which was made by the heretofore ripped-to-shreds Quincy "Toast" Butler.
(Memo to Butler: You're faster than you think, bud. If you can just convince Patterson and Bump-ass to let you guys play bump-and-run, then learn how to really jam the receivers at the line, not only will you have solved your secondary problems, but you guys could stand a good chance of being first-round draftees in the NFL. Quit playing tentatively and go kick ass.)
Jeff Ballard ran for two TDs in the quarter (part of six in which he would have a hand for the evening) in helping TCU roar to a 28-0 lead.
Then they switched sides, and the balloon deflated nearly as quickly. New Mexico would score the next 28 points (two TDs in the second, two in the third) to tie the game. TCU could manage just one first down during that entire sequence, and even had a punt blocked during the third quarter, leading to UNM's third touchdown.
With the score tied at 28 and the natives restless, TCU got the ball on its 34 after a missed UNM field goal attempt and drove to the Lobo 38. On 4th-and-1, Ballard dropped back, then lofted a semi-wounded duck in the direction of tight end Chad Andrus as he was being hit. Andrus caught the ball and rumbled into the end zone for what turned out to be the game-winning touchdown. TCU's defense would solidify thereafter, intercepting Lobo QB Kole McKamey twice more and recovering a fumble. Ballard would rush for two more touchdowns, accounting for the final margin.
...
Fact: The Oakland Raiders' secondary has been torched for over 300 yards per game in the first three games of the year.
Fact: The Oakland Raiders possess two of the fattest defensive tackles in the league - Ted Washington and Warren "Thug" Sapp. When they line up together, opposing running backs would generally have an easier time running through a brick wall.
Fact: The Dallas Cowboys have the third-ranked passer in the NFL, and a corps of outstanding wide receivers.
Which is why, all these things taken together, Bill Parcells - the Football Coaching Genius™ - decided he would try to beat the Raiders yesterday by running the ball.
Julius Jones - 22-76, 3.5 average. Tyson Thompson - 7-32, 4.6 average (better, but he also missed an assignment that nearly got Drew Bledsoe killed). No rush went for more than 14 yards. This is football according to our very own Coaching Genius™.
Even so, Dallas had a chance to win the game yesterday. A 57-yard grab by Terry Glenn set the Cowboys up deep in Raider territory late in the 4th quarter. But with 4th-and-4 from the Raider five, Bledsoe - with Jason Witten all alone in the end zone - went to the well once too often, and wound up bouncing a pass in to Terry Glenn with 1:49 left. Bledsoe never even looked Witten's way.
But hey - such is risk-free "safe" football under Bill Parcells. Safe, risk-free, boring, losing football.
Hey, Jerry Jones - have you enjoyed these last few years of shitty football? I hope you have - I hope you have very much. (Listeners of KTCK/1310 AM radio will understand the reference.)
The PFW will return Friday for another go-round.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 01, 2005
Bennett in '08: Finally, a candidate with backbone
In a previous thread on the Rott, someone had asked me whom I would support for President in '08. I replied that I would lean toward Newt Gingrich, hoping that he would pick Antonin Scalia as a running mate.
That was before the events of the last couple of days surrounding Bill Bennett.
Bennett, the former Secretary of Education (a worthless Cabinet position if ever there was one), hosts a weekday radio show called Morning in America (it's heard here on KSKY/660). As most of you know by now, he said this on his show Wednesday:
"if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down."
What is not being quite as widely reported (i.e, damned near not at all, save by the few right-thinkers in the media) is that he also said.
"That would be an impossibly ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down,"
Okay. The simple fact of the matter is that, according to these statistics, what Bennett said is absolutely true. Statistically speaking, blacks commit more crimes than any other ethnic group. Wring your hands in angst over that all you want, but it's not going to change anything. Bill Bennett was correct in his analysis.
Now. What with the predictable libfucktard backlash that ensued - led, predictably, by Teddy Chappaquiddick, San Fran Nan Pelosi, Dr. YEARRRGH!!! and the Rrrrrevvvvvv'rnnnnnd Sharp't'nnnnnnnn, one would've expected Bennett to turn tail and run, screaming apologies all the while. Certainly that's usually the case with most linguini-spined Republicans.
Bill Bennett, however, is not linguini-spined. At least, not in this case.
By Thursday afternoon, prominent Democrats had seized upon the comment.
We expect as much from the Demoscum. The so-called "party of free expression" (except when you say something that gores their oxen) is proving to be as predictable as Pavlov's puppy in this matter.
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, who said last year that the Supreme Court's lone black member was "an embarrassment to the court," is demanding that Bennett "issue an immediate apology not only to African Americans but to the nation.”
Left wing Democrat Ted Kennedy, whose brother, Attorney General Robert Kennedy, ordered the illegal wiretapping of Martin Luther King, called Bennett a "racist."
And Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean, who suggested last year that most blacks hold menial jobs, called Bennett's comments "hateful" and "inflammatory" - and called on him to apologize.
I happen to think that if an apology is owed, it should come from these three Lame-assed Leftard Losers™. For wasting our oxygen.
But, that's just me.
Responding to his critics, Bennett told the Fox News Channel's "Hannity & Colmes":"I'll not take instruction from Teddy Kennedy. A young woman likely drowned because of his negligence . . . . He should make no judgments at all about other people. He shouldn't be in the Senate."
Now there you go! Can I get an "amen" from the peanut gallery here? This is what I've been pleading with conservatives and Republicans for them to do: Stand up to these assholes and tell them to go fuck themselves!
Day-um, this is refreshing!
Neither Kennedy nor Dean nor Reid has ever condemned Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd, who rose to the rank of Grand Cyclops in the Ku Klux Klan based on his ability to recruit new members.In an autobiography released earlier this year, Byrd said the Klan was a "fraternal group" made up of "upstanding' people" - a characterization which drew no protest from Reid, Kennedy and Dean.
Nor will it - because it's one of them who said it. "Free speech for me, but not for thee", and all that.
It reminds me of John Rocker, former baseball pitcher, and the comments he made regarding New York and the subway. He didn't say one thing that wasn't true, but he was eventually browbeaten into issuing an apology.
Let's hope Mr. Bennett stands tall and refuses to give in to the Loony Limp-wristed Leftists™. We could use someone like that for President in '08.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack