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November 16, 2005

"Professor Jact-ass"

Most of the Loyal Citzenry from the Rott will remember a little fuckhead going by the name of "actus" - a smarmy little erudite pisspot who thinks that sipping lattés at George Washington U qualifies him as somehow more intelligent than the rest of us.

It's an attitude that got his skanky ass banned at the Rott, so now he has to try and lord it over others elsewhere.  He just recently got that skanky ass handed to him over at Froggy's site, courtesy of yours truly (among others), so now he thinks he's gonna invade here and shit all over my nice, clean carpet.

(sarcasm) Being sooooooooooo much smarter  than the rest of us (/sarcasm), of course he's a True Believer™ of the Religion of Evolution™.  Which, as has been firmly established by now, is nothing more than a theory  - and an unprovable one, at that.

But that won't stop Professor Jact-ass, no-sirree-Bob.  He thinks he's found the "proof", as it were, at this website called Talk.Origins, and their FAQ BS sheet says, in part:

Biological evolution is a change in the genetic characteristics of a population over time.

No, that definition actually describes biological adaptation.  An example of this would be folks who live in more tropical climates developing darker skin over time from prolonged exposure to more intense sunlight. It does not  represent "biological evolution".

That this happens is a fact. Biological evolution also refers to the common descent of living organisms from shared ancestors. The evidence for historical evolution -- genetic, fossil, anatomical, etc. -- is so overwhelming that it is also considered a fact.

What, because you asshats  say so?  'Scuse me, but I don't recognize your authority...?

The theory of evolution describes the mechanisms that cause evolution. So evolution is both a fact and a theory.

No, the theory of evolution suggests that species can "evolve" into other species, e.g, apes can "evolve" into man.

The problem with that is that you so-called "intelligents" can't show me - or anyone else, for that matter - the fish that changed into a frog; the frog that changed into an ape; the ape that changed into a man...shall I go on?

Oh, but it gets better from here, Denizens.  They then take a page from the Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister handbook - by trying to redefine basic English.

In the American vernacular, "theory" often means "imperfect fact"--part of a hierarchy of confidence running downhill from fact to theory to hypothesis to guess.

No, actually it just means "guess".  If you have a theory, you're guessing.  There are no facts  - perfect or  imperfect - about it.

When you espouse a theory,  all you're doing is guessing  about something.  If you have evidence to support  your guess, that's great.  But save the crap about "imperfect facts" for some GWU latté-guzzling buffoon who mistakenly believes that he knows more than the rest of us, mkay?

Thus the power of the creationist argument: evolution is "only" a theory and intense debate now rages about many aspects of the theory. If evolution is worse than a fact, and scientists can't even make up their minds about the theory, then what confidence can we have in it?

Very damned little, I'd think.  Especially since none of you have ever proven  a single damned whit of it.

Indeed, President Reagan echoed this argument before an evangelical group in Dallas when he said (in what I devoutly hope was campaign rhetoric): "Well, it is a theory. It is a scientific theory only, and it has in recent years been challenged in the world of science--that is, not believed in the scientific community to be as infallible as it once was."

Sorry, dumbasses - you're not going to sucker us in that easily.  You can invoke the name of Ronaldus Magnus' all you like - but the fact remains that you're trying to move the goal posts in a failed attempt to prove your half-assed guesses  about how mankind got here.

And we ain't buyin'.  Too bad, so sad.

Anyway, Denizens, you get the idea.  And Professor Jact-ass, my ruling stands:  Until you come up with concrete evidence conclusively proving evolution,  none of the methane emanating from your keyboard is going to make the light of day on this blog.

I simply don't have time to deal with the bullshit of an erudite fuckhead.

Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at November 16, 2005 12:18 PM

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[Nope, still no concrete, conclusive evidence.  Professor Jact-ass loses again (snicker).  -LSI]


THE RIGHT-THINKERS ASSAULT ON MY FAMILY OF SITZPINKLERS

I've noticed more and more lately, that if you accuse my mommy or daddy of being my parents they become quite angry, as though you've just told them to go straight to hell. They begin to twitch and spasm, their faces turn several shades of red, and on more than one occasion I've wondered if their fury would turn to violence and they'd throw me back in the basement with Gramma again.

Intolerance by my parents toward me hasn't received attention by the Left-Winged asshat media or the blogosphere, but it's there and it has been growing. Take for example the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler that laughs at me and calls me "asshole" at every opportunity.

Gee, you're a poster child for tolerance Spatula, except when it comes to tossers like me who don't have an ounce of gray matter between their ears. For that eggregious offence [ED. NOTE: (sp)] there can be no tolerance obviously. Spatula then goes on to display just how rooted his intolerance of wanker pricks like me really is.

That's right, anyone who has my IQ is a silly fuckface just like me. I am so crazed and intolerant that I cannot even accept the fact that I bathe in my granny's colostomy bag and wet my bed every night. But that's not surprising since this is typical of the kind of bullshit you expect from a goat-humper like me.

This intolerance isn't limited to the Blogosphere either. No one likes me in my Romper Room class, either. I guess it's 'cause I dump all my dandruff on my desk. Or maybe it's because I'm a sitzpinkler like my daddy before me.

You see, in the world of the Sitzpinkler, there is simply no room for anyone who is man enough to stand up to pee. We all have to be effeminate little wussies like me and my daddy.

It's clear that I'll never be much of a man, seeing as I'm a little nancy boy that can't stand up to pee-pee, but I for one will not be cowed into standing up to piss by their hatred of candy-asses like me, or their bullying.

Posted by: actus at November 16, 2005 12:45 PM

[Nope, still nothing.

In fact, Professor, until you come up with your missing link - an example of a species which changed itself to a completely different species, e.g. frog to cow or ape to man - your comments won't just be overwritten, they'll be deleted.

The fact is we're tired of you, and it's time you went away.  Goodbye, chumpette.  -LSI]

Posted by: actus at November 16, 2005 01:05 PM

Spats, this is why I keep coming back here. You should have a dumbass whack-a-troll every week, as a feature. I mean, I don't do football, but this is a sport i can watch forever. Thanks for the chuckles.

Posted by: og at November 16, 2005 05:12 PM

I love watching troll bashings too, og.

Posted by: Lady Heather at November 17, 2005 12:30 PM

The only way you are going to get a peace of my sister is to tear her off my dick first. I cant hold it any more I has to go! All my mommys sexual services must be paid for and provided by the government, free for everyone. That includes condoms, health care for the clap she's spreading, food for me and sissy when she cant turn any tricks, clothing so no one has to look at her trailer trash ass, red-light housing and ALL othr liesure. We need to stop her from breeding and start eliminating the kids like sissy and me shes already had, recliam the once pristine air my familys farted away, and start building free menteal insti...mental insty...mentel ins...nut housses in the cities. We demand the end of private restrooms, and demand public bathhouses run by NAMBLA. We need to stop the spread of my daddys jizz, and start giving out standard and uniform condoms for free for everyone so therell be no one else liek me and sissy. my whole sitzpinkling family are evil! They corrupt everything. SHORT BUSISM RULES!

Posted by: Che' at November 18, 2005 12:17 AM

ROFLMAO!

Posted by: Lady Heather at November 18, 2005 06:59 AM

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