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December 10, 2005

Nice to see where his priorities are

Denizens, today's rant begins with a quote from a previous rant found here:

Some people simply. Don't. Have. A. Clue.

Consider the world in which we live today. We are at war. We're at war with a people who flew airplanes into buildings and have killed nearly 5000 of our fellow Americans, including two who have been beheaded. We have an election coming up that will determine whether we continue to fight this war, or whether we surrender.

We've endured yet more attacks on our culture and our way of life with lawsuits against the Pledge of Allegiance, and against the sacred institution of marriage.

Crime ravages our streets, disease destroys our bodies, and our culture, as the Bork (?) book says, slouches towards Gomorrah. And we wring our hands and wonder why.

That rant was about the name of a football stadium, and some folks' severely misguided priorities.

This  rant is about a bunch of whiny brats throwing a temper tantrum because they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas - namely, tickets to a football game.

Just when fans thought the dustup over today's Highland Park-Marshall state high school football championship couldn't get any messier: Here come the politicians.

Oh, great.  Just what we need - a bunch of bloated gasbags sticking their noses (and pieholes) precisely where they're neither wanted nor needed.  One would think that these jerk-offs simply Do Not Have Enough To Do™.

After being slammed with phone calls and e-mails from brokenhearted Highland Park fans, state Rep. Dan Branch, R-Dallas,

And this  is what has me the most pissed off over the whole thing.  I would expect this from the crybaby Demoscum, who never met a judge-shopping spree they didn't like, who have made an art form out of going to the courts to get what they can't achieve at the polls.

But this???  From a fucking asshat member of my own political party?  Mr. Branch - can I call you "Twiggy", even though I'm pretty sure you're definitely not  - just what the Hell™ business is this of any of yours?

said Friday that he would hold public hearings on the "broken system" that allowed the Marshall coach to pick a tiny stadium that holds a fraction of the fans who would pay to see the game.

Broken system?  Broken system?????  What the ever-lovin' fuck,  Twiggy, is "broken" about it, dumbass?  Please, do  enlighten us.

Hell, why don't you go whole-hog about it and do what the Donks do?  Call it a "crisis" and really  turn it up a notch, why don't you?

It's especially trouble, he said, "in a state that's famous for its 'Friday Night Lights'"

Hey, Twigster?  That was a movie about a school out in West Texas - Odessa Permian - that never had any trouble playing its  championship games in stadiums that didn't have luxury suites.

But then, that's the Permian Basin folk for you.  They're not sniveling, pampered-assed, limp-wristed fucktards  like you and the rest of the whiners in Highland Park.

and struggling to find money for its public schools.

And just exactly what, pray tell, have you managed to accomplish in that  particular arena, eh, Twiggy?  Where exactly have you been performing your assigned duties as a duly elected member of the Texas Legislature - eh, fuckhead?

"It's outrageous that a state final game is being played in a stadium so small that it denies access to thousands of fans, families and friends," said Mr. Branch, who leads a House subcommittee charged with finding revenue sources for schools and whose district includes Highland Park High School.

No, what's outrageous is that a Republican, whose philosophy (last I checked, anyway) is supposed  to include fashioning a smaller, less intrusive government, is now threatening to bring Big-Assed Brother down in matters where it clearly doesn't belong, on an insitution that clearly doesn't  need government looking over its shoulder.

All because Little Danny "Twiggy" Branch and some of his Highland Piss drinking buddies couldn't get tickets to the big game and will have to settle (SETTLE!!! (SOB!!!!!)) for watching it on TV.

His counterpart in Marshall, GOP Rep. Bryan Hughes, doesn't agree, saying the system is fair because it doesn't force rural schools to travel for every championship.

Yeah, funny thing about that:  Rural schools don't quite have as much $$$$ as places like hoity-toity Highland Pork-Bellies.

I mean, it would  be kinda of a damned shame if Marshall didn't have the moolah to drive its kids all the way to, say, Texas Stadium, and had to forfeit the game to the Highland Pissants.  Then again, I'm sure their parents want the game to be handed to them, unearned, on a silver platter anyway, so...

Mr. Hughes, incidentally, has a ticket to today's game. Mr. Branch won't attend.

So.  Fucking.  What?  I wouldn't give a shit if these kids played in front of nobody.  This is not a matter for (*hack, spit*) lawmakers (*hack, spit*) to be sticking their ugly-assed noses in - I don't give a damn who  has tickets!

Highland Park hasn't won a championship in 48 years, and the school wanted to play at Texas Stadium but lost a coin toss to Marshall, which chose Rose Stadium in Tyler, closer to home. It accommodates 14,000 fans at most.

Hell, I'm surprised Twiggy hasn't threatened to take the coin-tosser to court to have the damned thing thrown out!  "Your Honor, playing our game where we want should be ours by Divine Right™!!!  This coin toss is UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

Each school sold all of its 5,500 tickets in a couple of days – leaving an estimated 20,000 or more fans without tickets.

Some wound up paying scalpers hundreds of dollars. Others paid Marshall residents to buy up some of that town's allotment – prompting a Marshall newspaper columnist to declare that a Scots fan would have to "pry my cold, dead fingers from the stub" before he would let it go to someone other than a "red-blooded Marshall Maverick."

Oh, but you folks in Marshall can't possibly  love your kids more than the Highland Pissants love theirs.  I mean, they're  rich, and you're not.

Dallas resident Greg McCoy, a Scots football player in the 1970s, sent a friend to stand in line at 5:30 a.m. Tuesday, and still didn't get a ticket because the booster club had sold them all the night before. He'll have to settle for a watch party at his house.

"I was denied," he said with a chuckle. "What I would do is designate a stadium in August and let the teams shoot for a trip to that city. You're losing a lot of revenue the way they're doing it now."

And there's another Highland Pigass, looking at it from the financial angle.  Hey, moron - ever occur to you that some  kids play football simply for the love of the fucking game???  Why does it always have to be an issue of money  to some jackasses?

Mr. Branch said he would make a recommendation for changes to the full House education committee next summer. One idea, he said, is for the University Interscholastic League to limit coaches' choices to major stadiums – such as the Astrodome, Texas Stadium or the Alamodome.

So help me Cthulu™ - if he does this, then I will give real $$$$ to whomever runs against him in next year's election.  I don't give a flying fuck if this bastard is  a Republican - this load of pond scum is just as bad as a Donk, AFAIC.

UIL officials won't comment on pending legislation, but they noted that schools had resisted changes in the past.

Mr. Branch said the time has come for changes.

Yeah, I'd say it's time for change, all right.  Such as getting your fat, sorry, pathetic ass out of the Legeislature and sticking it back where all it can do is spew methane where no one can smell it.

"This is a big deal," he said. "My phone has been ringing off the wall. This makes school finance look like a minor issue."

Glad to see where your priorities are, you stupid-assed dickhead.

So paying our teachers, financing our school districts, making sure the rest  of our non-football-playing  students - y'know, the generation who's gonna be taking over in about 20 years or so? - making sure they  get a quality education?  All that takes a fucking back seat to you and your Highland Pondscum drinking buddies getting tickets for a fucking football game, is that it?

Like I said:  Some people simply.  Don't.  Have.  A.  Clue.

F.E.J.F.E. (Fuck 'Em.  Just Fuck 'Em.)

Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at December 10, 2005 09:56 AM

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But if they don't et involved, then they are not being resppoonnnsssiiiivvvveee enough to their constituency! And the donkeycrats will step in, and build 'em a larger stadium, where everyone will be a winnner, and no republican will ever be elected again!

Posted by: Clint Wilcox at December 10, 2005 08:11 PM

As somebody whose life as an American began in Marshall and who, therefore, consider that town the place of my "birth", I can only say one thing to Branch and his Highland Pork Pissants:

Eat me.

Then eat all of my .45 ACPs. I've got quite a few.

Posted by: Misha I at December 10, 2005 10:38 PM

Oh, and furthermore:

Marshall won the toss, so deal with it you fucking pampered caviar-munching cocksuckers.

Last I checked, Tyler was roughly halway between Marshall and Dallas, so Marshall was more than generous in their choice. They should've chosen a cow pasture in Jefferson instead.

Posted by: Misha I at December 10, 2005 10:43 PM