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January 20, 2006
Book report
Fellow Denizen and semi-regular contributor Lady Heather regales us with this tale of two books:
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories:
Titanic: $29.99 Clinton: $29.99Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist. Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Mheh. 
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at January 20, 2006 12:15 PM
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Comments
Cool!
Posted by: David Hartung at January 20, 2006 10:04 PM
i started reeding Clinton but was to long.
[Denizens, I swear on ten stacks of Bibles - Shitcliffe really wrote this. I have not altered one farking letter of it, promise. -LSI]
i still love him you birchers will never chang that!
Posted by: Um Yeah at January 23, 2006 07:34 PM
i started reeding Clinton but was to long.
Well, I realize that...nah. It's too damned easy...
BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!!!!!!!!!! (snort)
i still love him you birchers will never chang that!
"Birchers"? What, Shitcliffe, you trying to get on our good side or something? (snx)
Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at January 23, 2006 07:44 PM