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January 31, 2006
I got something to bang on, right here...
The Anti-War Whore™'s minions are going to be on the Capitol steps tonight banging pots & pans.
Liberals are making noise in Washington – left-wing activists will gather near the Capitol Tuesday night and bang pots and pans to drown out President Bush’s State of the Union address.Last week a group called "World Can't Wait - Drive Out the Bush Regime" was denied a permit to gather on the Mall for security reasons. The group won a federal lawsuit and has been given permission to make noise while Bush speaks to a joint session of Congress.
Shame I can't be there to bang a few heads. I understand that a Louisville Slugger™ makes a nice, lovely, hollow "thud" when slapped upside a liberal fucktard's noggin.
But that's just what I've been told.
Actually, I just wish that they'd go ahead and start this "revolution" they've been threatening to bring to us for lo these many years. Go ahead and show us their papier-machés, as it were.
It would, after all, give us the excuse for which we've been waiting to take these cowards and give them the ass-whipping for which they've been begging.
Just sayin', is all...
UPDATE: Denizen David Hartung informs us that Mother Shitcan had her skanky ass hauled away from inside the Rotunda last night. Seems she was a "guest" of Congresscretin Lynn Woolsey (Dipshit-CA), when she took off her jacket and revealed a burqa shirt with an anti-war slogan on it.
That bimbo Woolsey probably should've been thrown out of there, too - though I'd've preferred drawn and quartered, myself.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:33 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
January 30, 2006
Big Filibuster slapped down - hard
You just knew they were going to try, didn't you? Like a whiny five-year-old desperate to stay in the toy section whilst mommy & daddy are on their way out to the minivan, the Demoscum leadership (Dingy Harry, Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator, the Duchess Hilarious, et. al.) kicked, screamed and wet their collective pants and ran back to the kiddie section to keep playing with their toy filibuster.
Whereupon mommy, daddy, and the five-year-old's older, wiser sibling unit strode over, grabbed the brat by the ear and dragged the little shit back to the van.
The Senate all but guaranteed Samuel Alito's confirmation as the nation's 110th Supreme Court justice Monday, shutting down a last-minute attempt by liberals to block the conservative judge's nomination with a filibuster.Republican and Democratic senators on a 72-25 vote agreed to end their debate, setting up a Tuesday morning vote on his confirmation to replace retiring moderate Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.
With at least 57 votes committed to Alito — 53 Republicans and four Democrats — approval by majority vote in the 100-member Senate is now seemingly assured.
Couldn't come at a better time, either. Each succeeding day that Sandy Ditz O'Bint sits on the court is a day where a senile old bitty tilts a little more to the left.
Good fucking riddance.
A bloc of Democrats, led by Massachusetts Sens. Edward Kennedy and John Kerry, unsuccessfully tried over the weekend and Monday to persuade other senators to use a vote-delaying filibuster to stop Alito, a 15-year veteran of the U.S. Appeals Court and a former lawyer for the Reagan administration."It is the only way we can stop a confirmation that we feel certain will cause irreversible damage to our country," said Kerry, the Democrats' 2004 presidential nominee.
Translation: "It's the only way we can keep any semblance of the imposition of our minority will on the country."
If confirmed by the full Senate, Alito would replace O'Connor, who has been a swing vote on abortion rights, affirmative action, the death penalty and other issues.
Yes, and how many Americans who've had crimes committed against them have had their justice denice by this "swing vote" bimbo, hm?
Too damned many, IYAM.
Alito's supporters needed 60 votes to block the filibuster, and they were joined by some Democrats who oppose the judge. Likewise, one Republican came out against the judge.Republican Sen. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island announced that he would vote against Alito's confirmation. Chafee, a self-described "pro-choice, pro-environment, pro-Bill of Rights Republican,"
That is to say, a shit-for-brains RINO...
was the only member of the Republican Party to announce he would vote against the conservative judge.
Trust a traitorous fuckwit. Linkie, baby, whyn't you just defect over to the wrong side of the aisle and get it over with? We all have known for years that you're worthless as a Republican; why torture yourself so?
Chafee refused to support the Democrats' filibuster attempt, however. "How are we going to get anything done if we can't work together?" Chafee asked.
Hmmm. I seem to recall having said something remarkably similar. Perhaps, Linkie, you might consider paying attention.
But liberal Democrats say that Alito — a former federal prosecutor and conservative lawyer for the Reagan administration — would put individual rights and liberties in danger."I think he is the wrong judge at the wrong time in the wrong place," said Kennedy, a longtime liberal stalwart, who spoke before the cloture vote. "I do not believe he is going to be part of the whole movement of the continued march towards progress in this country."
Hey, Senator Swimmer? Your compadre tried that mantra during his campaign for the White House, fat ass. Perhaps you noticed that it failed then, too?
Added Sen. Jim Jeffords of Vermont, the chamber's lone independent: "The addition of Judge Alito would unacceptably shift the balance of the court on many critical issues facing our country."
Unacceptable to a socialist dickweed like you, Benedict, but not to the public who voted for the man who nominated him.
Or did you forget that your side lost again?????
But Alito's supporters said before the vote they already had more than enough votes to ensure that he would be confirmed to succeed retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. They still hoped that could happen before President Bush gives his State of the Union speech in the Capitol on Tuesday.Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, called the filibuster attempt "a last-ditch partisan effort to mollify the lobbyists of the hard left. It will backfire, and a filibuster-proof majority will vote to move forward on this nomination."
Alito has well over 50 votes for confirmation Tuesday. At least 53 of the Republicans' 55-member majority and three Democrats — Robert Byrd of West Virginia, Tim Johnson of South Dakota and Ben Nelson of Nebraska — already publicly support his confirmation as the replacement for O'Connor.
Sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., also announced Friday he is "leaning in favor of voting for" the conservative judge.
Welcome to the Supreme Court, Justice-to-be Alito. Do us proud.
Back to the minivan, Demoscum... 
Posted by sgc284 at 08:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 29, 2006
The Grinches who stole my son's Christmas
"So, Spats", I hear you guys saying, "how was your Christmas?"
Not too bad, I gotta say. Got a lot of stuff I can use, and the sibling unit (who's this close to graduating from being called the "sibling unit" (grin)) got me a ticket to TCU-Iowa State (you may have noticed that a couple of entries from two weeks back originated from Houston?), which turned out to be one hellacious game. And I built a new bed, which is a damned sight more comfortable than my old bed; my back is thanking me non-stop for that.
And, on top of all that, I was able to give almost everyone on my list what they wanted. The sibling unit got himself a comforter, plus a CD-dubbing unit he'd had his eye on for a while; this allowed me to win the annual "who can outgive the other" contest we always have.
But - and you just knew there hadda be a "but" in there somewhere - we must now focus on the key word in that last paragraph: "Almost".
At this point, I'm going to invite Doublewide Bitch Supreme Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager and her fellow man-hating trollops at the Yahoo group "momscomefirst" (or "momsslurpcome" or whatever they call themselves these days)...come down here, front and center. Something you bimbos need to know about this half-assed excuse-for-a-woman you're blindly supporting without so much as bothering to get my side of things.
Take a look at this picture right here:
Cute little bike, isn't it? Something on which, say, a three-year-old can tool around a large spread and have some fun with, hm? Skip would've loved this present, too, along with the plush Snowflake Friends™ bear I get him every year.
That is, except for a pair of Grinches who live with him in that bunker in Sulphur Springs - the aforementioned Doublewide Bitch Supreme™ and her fat-assed son-of-a-bitch daddy.
I had the bike shipped straight to the fat-ass' office in Sulphur Springs, where he's one of two State Farm Insurance agents (and why State Farm feels the need for two agents in that hick town, I'll never know), where previous package deliveries had been accepted.
And the motorcycle was refused. As was the bear. Flat. Out. Refused. Because these packages, these Christmas gifts, came from me - Skip's father - my son doesn't get to play with them.
These bastards claim to love my son. They claim to only have his best interests at heart. Their actions last month put the absolute lie to their bullshit. They don't give a flying fuck about my son, except as a pawn in Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager's game of abject hatred of me, and they fucking know it.
And you bitches in "momscomefirst" - and yes, "Mel Mel", Terry Harney Harp, Manon "Petard" Bedard, Fran and the rest, I'm looking at you - this is the excuse-for-a-woman whose version of events you take over my own. This is the woman you supported when she knowingly violated Texas family law, then lied about it to a judge. This is the woman who negotiated a visitation schedule, had her and her daddy's own hand-picked judge sign off on it...then refused to honor it. And then got off scot-free when his drinking-buddy DA sat on the charges I brought against her.
If that's what you wanna "support" - fine. Guilt by association and all that.
As for me, I'm gonna continue sending my son birthday and Christmas presents, whether his mommy and her daddy like it or not, and continue to document that I'm doing so. Things have a way of changing in this thing we call life, and not always for the better, either. And all I have to do is remain faithful to my boy.
Hope you had a Merry Christmas, Skip. Always remember - your father loves you, no matter what others try to tell you.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:00 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
January 28, 2006
Mother Shitcan's gonna do what?!?!
Denizens, your Laugh For The Day™ comes from Charles Johnson and the fine people at Little Green Footballs, who bring us news that...
...are you sitting down?
...Mother Shitcan is threatening to run for the US Senate.
Cindy Sheehan to Dianne Feinstein:
Fillibuster Alito or I’ll Challenge Your Senate Seat
Caracas, Venezuela - Gold star mother Cindy Sheehan has decided to run against California Senator Diane Feinstein if Feinstein does not filibuster the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Samuel Alito. While in Venezuela attending the World Social Forum, Sheehan learned that several Democratic Senators had announced their plans for a filibuster but that Senator Feinstein, who’s up for re-election in November, had stated she would vote against the nomination but not filibuster it. “I’m appalled that Diane Feinstein wouldn’t recognize how dangerous Alito’s nomination is to upholding the values of our constitution and restricting the usurpation of presidential powers, for which I’ve already paid the ultimate price,” Sheehan said.
Awright, Denizens - all together now, on three - one...two...three:
Posted by sgc284 at 11:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 27, 2006
Donks: Desperately hoping something sticks...
Y'know, for a party (even if it is a half-assed excuse for one) supposedly soooooo confident that it's going to retake Congress this year and the White House two years hence...they surrrrre seem to be showing more than just a modicum of desperation lately.
Take, for example, this screeching diatribe laid down by Dingy Harry Reid (D-Al Jizzera) to the US Conference of Mayors today.
Cities are at risk because the Bush administration is too preoccupied with its political problems to properly prepare for another natural disaster or terrorist attack, Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid told mayors from around the country Friday.
And what "political problems" would those be, O Dingy One? Would that, perhaps, include the sniveling of you and your fellow Demoscum over the President trying his damndest to intercept communications to or from here from your homies at Al Qaida in his efforts to prevent another 9/11?
Or maybe it's your party's blatant obstructionism, trying desperately to get in the way of finally getting Samuel Alito onto the Supreme Court and giving Sandy Ditz O'Bint the retirement this country wishes she'd taken years ago?
Mayhap it's your party's constant bellowing about Jack Abramoff and this so-called "culture of corruption" of which you keep accusing the GOP. Conveniently forgetting, of course, that there are just as many Demoscum who have taken money from him, too!!!!!
Has it ever occurred to you, you moronic assclown, that if you people would SHUT THE FUCK UP and quit trying to get in the President's way, maybe - just maybe - he could get some work done on these so-called "preparations" about which you keep bitching?
And I won't even mention how it's not the Feds' responsibility to prepare the cities for anything like that, but that of the cities themselves - nah, I'll just save that for another day, Harry, m'boy, when your one-third remaining brain cell isn't overly taxed...
"Any one of your cities and towns could be the next New Orleans," Reid said at a meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors.
I really tend to doubt that, Your Dinginess - not unless a town has managed to fall asleep at the switch and elect themselves another Ray "Chocolate City" Nagin.
Do note the desperation in Dingy Harry's words, though, Denizens. Note how he's just trying to throw something against the wall, hoping against hope that it sticks. It'd be pathetic, if it weren't so damned funny.
"The federal government owes it to you and your citizens to be prepared the next time disaster strikes."
What the federal government owes me, Reid, you dumb fuck, is to get out of my way and out of the way of the cities and let us determine our own needs in this regard. The day that Washington, DC can better figure out local needs than the locals can is the day we all had best run up the white flag.
The Nevada lawmaker said efforts to find out what went wrong after Hurricane Katrina illustrate how the administration's priorities are wrong.Governments at the federal, state and local level have been harshly criticized for a slow response to Hurricane Katrina, which devastated coastal areas of Mississippi and Louisiana and flooded New Orleans. Yet the White House has been slow in helping Congress investigate what happened at the federal level, Reid said.
Yeah, Reid, you shit-for-brains...we'll just go ahead and ignore the terrorists wanting to fly planes into our buildings and come across our unprotected borders (while you bastards want to give them amnesty) and drop everything we're doing and cater to your every childish-assed whim. Would that make you happy, Reid, you asshatted prick?
Reid said the investigation must be completed - not to fix blame but to learn what needs to be done to avoid a repeat of the post-Katrina problems.
TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bullshit flag. Lying through the teeth, minority party, Mr. Reid. Telling an obvious lie about not wanting to "fix blame" when that's all he ever fucking wants to do. Fifteen yards, automatic first down.
Reid said the poor choices of the administration and Republicans in Congress are also evident in steps securing the nation after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
Oh? And precisely how many more attacks have we had here (no thanks to you and your fellow fuckwitted fellating obstructionists in Congress)? How many again?
(crickets)
Uh huh. Thought so...
Efforts to spend more money for emergency workers in cities were rejected as well as efforts to restore money for extra police, he said.
Oh, really, Dingyass? And just where, again, were those 100,000 new cops that your honeyboy Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister kept promising to us Americans all during the '90s?
(more crickets)
Maybe, Harriet, you might like to enjoy a nice steaming cup of STFU right about now...?
Reid also said many steps recommended by a commission examining national security after the terror attacks have not been taken, such as strengthening security for ports and rail transportation.
And no wonder. Every time we try to take any action in that regard, Harriet, you and your fellow fuckwits on the left start howling about "racial profiling".
We really would get so much more done if you people would shut your collective piehole. Then again, you're Demoscum, so it's a pipe dream, I know, but...
He questioned spending billions on Iraq and tax breaks for the wealthy rather than for security improvements in cities."If we can spend $2 billion every week to protect the Iraqi people, we can do more to protect our people at home," Reid said.
I can protect myself just fine, thank you, dumbass. Gimme a gun and a few hundred rounds of ammo.
And it might help if you'd remain still for a few seconds, too...
Posted by sgc284 at 08:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 26, 2006
Po' widdle Helen Thomas
Okay, Denizens, stop the presses. It's the Apocalypse™. The End Of The Fuckin' Universe™. The Sky Is Falling™, even.
For the Leader of the Free World...has pissed off Helen Thomas.
(Pardon me one second... )
Okay...where was I...? Ah, yes:
President Bush today again avoided taking a question from White House doyenne Helen Thomas during his 45-minute press conference, even though he took questions from every reporter around her front-row, center seat.
In other words, just your average day at the White House. Standard Operating Procedure™. Move along. Nothing to see here... (snicker)
"He's a coward," Thomas said afterward. "He's supposed to be this macho guy. He'll take on Osama bin Laden, but he won't take me on."
Um, Helen, babe? Do you think that could possibly be because you're a has-been (really, never-was), meaningless-in-the-Grand-Scheme-Of-Things™, exceedingly self-important, overrated, overpaid, washed-up, used-up, tore-up, put-up-wet, uninspiring, underwhelming, over-the-hill, impotent, bitchy, crying, conniving, sniveling, weak little shrew???
Just askin'.
Thomas, who worked as the UPI White House reporter for 57 years and is now a columnist, raised her hand every time the president was concluding an answer to a reporter's question, but he never called on her.She had a few questions in mind, though. "I wanted to ask about Iraq: 'You said you didn't go in for oil or for Israel or for WMDs. so why did you go in?'"
She also had another question at the ready, just in case, this one about the president's contention that a 28-year-old wiretapping law known as FISA is out of date, which prompted him to order the National Security Agency to conduct a secret electronic surveillance program that Democrats contend is illegal.
"You keep saying it's a 1978 law, but the Constitution 200 years old. Is that out of date, too?"
That's gratitude for you. Helen, honey - President Bush (I know how that just sticks in your crotchety old craw, so I love getting that dig in, y'know? (chuckle)) was actually doing you a favor by not calling on your tired, old skanky ass. Is it even remotely possible that maybe - just maybe - he didn't want you embarrassing yourself on national television with those half-assed, shit-for-brains excuses-for-questions of yours?
Afterward, Thomas sat sullenly in her chair in the White House press work area, huddled in her leopard-print winter coat.
Awwwwwwww, ism's widdle Helen frowing herselfs a pity party 'cause the big, bad, mean ol' President wouldn't play her childish-assed game? Awwwwwwwwwwww...
But as she left, she made a prediction: "He came on to my turf. I'll bet the next press conference will be in Room 450 of the EEOB," a theater-style room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, where she would not be in the front row.
What if he does, bimbo? He could also go one step further and not invite your ugly ass, y'know. He'd be doing America a favor if he did that.
F.E.J.F.E.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:12 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 25, 2006
...zzzzzzzzz...
Yet another in a series of One-Legged Man™ days today, Denizens.
Check back tomorrow...(zzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Posted by sgc284 at 09:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 24, 2006
She might oughta try decaf, maybe...
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess™.)
Think you're having a bad day at work? Got a co-worker you can't stand to be around because he's so pissy-faced? (Mykki Limpwrist's co-workers could probably identify with this.)
Be glad you're not around this woman. (Better yet, thank Cthulu you're not one of her patients. Eeg.)
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients' nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.The 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.
The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.
Memo to Don Rumsfeld: I've got your next chief interrogator, right here...
Posted by sgc284 at 07:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 23, 2006
Wow, that was quick
Pooooooooooooooooooor widdle Howie Stern.
I mean, you really gotta feel for him...don't you? Here he is, ripping Infinity (or was it Clear Channel?) and the FCC for constantly censoring him and fining him, and how, now that he was finally leaving the FCC's jurisdiction, how he was gonna be free to...well...be himself.
And then Sirius has to go and pull the very same stunt.
Howard Stern may curse the day he decided to leave terrestrial radio and jump to Sirius – the satellite broadcaster is taking steps to censor the shock jock.
Well, that certainly didn't take long. Think it might have been one too many "Hard over, Mr. Sulu!!!"s aimed at new announcer Georgie Takei? (snicker)
The morning drive-time radio host said he left terrestrial radio because he was fed up with censorship by individual stations and FCC fines for indecency. Now, in what must be a painful irony for Stern, Sirius executives are developing an internal document that will set boundaries for his show.Stern’s new show is also being broadcast with a time-delay that facilitates censoring, the New York Post reports.
Wellllllll, dang. Just dang. (chortle)
It’s not clear if Stern knew he would be subject to guidelines regarding indecency when he signed on with Sirius, according to the Post.
Oh, you're damned right this blindsided him. As much as he was touting the show as "Howard Uncensored"? You guys had best fucking believe widdle Howie thought the shackles were coming off for good.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, IYAM. 
Posted by sgc284 at 07:38 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 21, 2006
For!!! Fore!!! Four!!!!!
Every so often, the SpatulaGoddess™ will get a wild hare and "tag" me with some meme or other. (Usually, it's something that the Imperial Cluebat Manufacturer, Russ Emerson, has tagged her with first. Where he gets it, who knows? But, I digress.)
This time, she's tagged me with a "Series of Fours" - and requested that I participate.
Now, she's the SpatulaGoddess - and if I don't comply, she might take her Yahoo Messenger avatar and growl at me. Oog. (shudder)
So, thusly, here are my "fours":
Four Jobs I've Had:
Courier
Customer Service Representative
Billing Administrator (the guy that cranks out the invoices)
PC techie (the guy that holds your future in his hands (evil maniacal laugh))
Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:
Airport 1975
Down Periscope
All the Star Trek movies
All the Star Wars movies
Four Places I have Lived:
Fort Worth, TX
Dallas, TX
Hurst/Euless/Bedford, TX
Forney, TX (Don't get around much, do I?)
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
Football
Football
Football
Hockey (unless the Dallas Stars are playing like they are now (shitty), then Football)
Four Places I've Been On Vacation:
Pikes Peak, Colorado Springs, CO
Flagstaff, AZ
Turner Falls, OK
Orlando, FL
Four Websites I Visit Daily (well, okay - besides my own (grin)):
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
The Dullest Moaning Snooze
NewsMax
Yeah, Right, Whatever (Or Day by Day, whichever)
Four Favorite Foods:
Steak
Chicken
Either my Kitchen Sink Stew™ or the Hyde to its Jekyll, Train Wreck Stew™
Wings (Preferably from Hooters (great scenery, mheh), but Humperdink's are good, Outback's are splendid, and even Chili's will do in a pinch
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
At a football or hockey game. Any football or hockey game. Preferably football
With naughty women doing naughty things. (big grin)
With good friends - specifically, all the guys that came to Texas Blogfest '05
On a plane, going someplace fun
Four People I'm Tagging With This:
No one
No one
No one
And - last but not least - no one.
Sorry, SpatulaGoddess™. Love you 'n all, but "tagging" isn't my thing, y'know? 
Posted by sgc284 at 01:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 20, 2006
Good techno stuff
Denizens, here's something you likely didn't know about me: One of my favorite music genres is techno.
The alternative rock station in these parts, KDGE/102.1, used to have a show every Saturday night called Edge Club 102.1 (they may still run it, I dunno). Five hours of non-stop techno mix hosted by a guy by the name of DJ Merritt. Hardly know anything about him personally, and I'm guessing his politics probably don't line up with mine - but he spins good techno mixes.
One of the fellow mixers to whom he might give a listen is our very own Denizen & LC GodandStarCraft. This guy has spun a few tracks of rave & techno of his own - some of which you can hear for yourself at this web site, if your tastes run that way.
Four stars. SpatsBob says "check it out".
Posted by sgc284 at 07:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Book report
Fellow Denizen and semi-regular contributor Lady Heather regales us with this tale of two books:
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories:
Titanic: $29.99 Clinton: $29.99Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist. Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Mheh.
Posted by sgc284 at 12:15 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 19, 2006
Mayor Wonka Nagin speaks
(Hat tip to Estella the Snarkmistress.)
Denizens, what with Ray "I'm the mayor of NOLA but I live in Dallas" Nagin wanting to make sure that N'awlins remains the "Chocolate City"...well, it occurs to us that he sounds a little bit like Willy Wonka.
With that in mind, one enterprising young hack came up with this site.
Spew warnings in effect. (grin)
Posted by sgc284 at 07:35 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 18, 2006
Great Honkin' Cthulu™, he can't be serious...
Gotta admit, Denizens - I've been in somewhat of a crappy mood all day long. Not much reason to crack a smile about anything.
Then I saw this.
It's gonna take all my willpower to keep from busting out in a guffawing fit...
Former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle is once again weighing a possible run for the White House.
BWAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
The South Dakota Democrat considered running for president in 2004, but decided instead to seek a fourth term in the Senate – only to lose to Republican John Thune.
Uh, make that "only to get his saddened, skanky Demoscum ass handed to him by John Thune. (snicker)
According to The National Journal, Daschle said he was "taking a look at” entering the race for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008.The primary factors influencing his decision "would be my family and our mutual decision to consider the rigors of a campaign and re-entry into public life,” Daschle told the Sioux Falls Argus Leader.
Tommy-boy, you might want to throw something called "level of insanity" into that particular mix. As in, is yours high enough that you'd even want to consider discovering how despised you are outside of Pierre? (snicker)
After Daschle’s loss to Thune in 2004, he said he probably would never run for office again.But he told the Argus Leader about a White House bid in 2008: "I have received a lot of encouragement,”
Probably from his spousal unit, who very likely is tired of the bozo constantly getting underfoot.
although he added that he has "no plans at this time to run for national office.”
Translation: "I'm very afraid that not enough people have forgotten who I am yet."
Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia’s Center for Politics, doesn’t see Daschle as a leading contender for the Democratic nod in 2008."I wouldn’t call him the favorite, or even second or third,” Sabato told the Argus Leader.
I think the phrase you're looking for, Larry, is "not even an also-ran". (chuckle)
But he added: "It’s not an overpowering field, and Hillary Clinton is more vulnerable than people think because of the electability question.”
And if HILLARY!!!!! isn't electable, Daschle honestly harbors delusions that he actually could be?????
Must...resist...urge...to...to...aw, hell with it.
BWAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!!! (snort!)
Posted by sgc284 at 01:17 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 17, 2006
PotKettleBlack™, Part the 3,669,804th
Unwilling to rest on its laurels, the Department of Hypocrisy Much, Fuckhead? fires off another story at us - this time regarding the Duchess Hilarious.
This time, the Royal Cookie Baker™ is calling the GOP a "plantation"
Sounding a little like a preacher, a fired-up Sen. Hillary Clinton lambasted the Bush administration and the Republican-controlled Congress during a Martin Luther King Jr. Day event, predicting the presidency "will go down in history as one of the worst" and saying the House of Representatives is run like a "plantation" where dissenting voices are squelched."When you look at the way the House of Representatives has been run, it has been run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about," Clinton, D-N.Y., told the crowd at the Canaan Baptist Church of Christ in Harlem. "It has been run in a way so that nobody with a contrary view has had a chance to present legislation, to make an argument, to be heard."
In the first place, bee-yotch, this is how the Demoscummic Party ran the Imperial Socialist Congress™ from 1954 until 1994, when the American people finally woke up, wised up and threw your Michael Moore dick-sucking asses out of office. Shoe squeezes you a bit when it's on your foot, doesn't it?
As for the "plantation" bullshit, I have two words for you, Hillary, you stupid cunt: Michael Steele.
That's right - Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele, who dares to be a black Republican and is called racial epithets and has Oreo cookies thrown at him because of it.
You tell me, you fuckwitted bint: Who's really running a "plantation" in the political world?
Sure as Hell™ ain't us.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 16, 2006
Algore: Squarely on the side of the terrorists
The Department of Hypocrisy Much, Fuckhead? weighs in with this story of former - and yes, it still feels damned good to say that - former Vice-Perpetrator Algore starring in today's episode of "Which Demoscummic Shit-For-Brains Wants To Make An Ass Of Himself Today?"
Former Vice President Al Gore asserted Monday that President Bush "repeatedly and persistently" broke the law by eavesdropping on Americans without a court warrant and called for a federal investigation of the practice.
And I guess we should...well, we should trust the loser of the 2000 Presidential election, shouldn't we? After all, who would know more about administrations breaking the law than he who served as the number-two man in the absolute most corrupt, half-assed excuse-for-an-administration in the history of the United States, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm???
Speaking on Martin Luther King Jr.'s national holiday, the man who lost the 2000 presidential election
Oh, and thanks for pointing that out again, Asphyxiated Piss. I for one am pleased you finally got that through your thick-assed heads.
to Bush only after a ruling by the Supreme Court on a recount in Florida
...where Bush still has never trailed...
called Bush's warrantless surveillance program "a threat to the very structure of our government." Gore charged that the program has ignored the checks and balances of the courts and Congress.Gore said that Bush's actions - which the president has defended as indispensable in the war against terrorism - represented a "direct assault" on the special federal court that considers, and decides whether to authorize, administration requests to eavesdrop on Americans.
Now mind you, Denizens - this is the guy who hired Craig Livingstone. As in, Craig "900 FBI Files On Political Opponents And Many Others In My Possession" Livingstone. As in, Craig "900 Counts Of Illegally Possessing FBI Files Which Were Never Prosecuted" Livingstone.
Care to speculate on what that might represent, Mr. "No Controlling Legal Authority"?
Gore said the concerns are especially important on King's birthday because the slain civil rights leader was among thousands of Americans whose private communications were intercepted by the U.S. government.
Probably with the whole-hearted and full-throated agreement of your father, Junior. You remember your father, don't you? Al "Low Negro Tolerance" Gore, Sr? The one who voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1965? The one who forced your family's black maid to sit in the car while your folks went shopping?
Gore said that there is still much to learn about the National Security Agency's domestic surveillance program: "What we do know about this pervasive wiretapping virtually compels the conclusion that the president of the United States has been breaking the law repeatedly and persistently," he maintained.
What we do know is that your regime illegally held over 900 FBI files containing information about your political opposition; that your regime was very likely responsible for the deaths of Vince Foster and Ron Brown; that your half-assed, bent-dicked excuse-for-a-boss was a serial sexual harasser and that he lied under oath to a federal grand jury - and you defended that son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch, you motherfucking asswipe.
And now you have the gall to preach about the President of the United States? The one who did what your regime never will be able to claim to have done - win with a clear majority? The one who has spent his entire Administration cleaning up your fucking foreign-policy mess? A mess which included not taking Osama bin Laden into our custody when your skirt-chasing, blow-jobbing fucknozzle of a boss had the chance, ultimately costing 3000 or our fellow citizens, our friends and neighbors their very lives?????
You goat-fellating, hamster-humping, shitheaded bastard.
Gore was repeatedly interrupted by applause Monday as he spoke to the American Constitution Society for Law and Policy and the Liberty Coalition, two organizations that expressed concern with the legality of the surveillance program.
And two organizations that'll get their clocks royally cleaned when we tip over the watering can over by the Tree of Liberty, y'know?
Gore, also a former member of the Senate from Tennessee, proposed that a special counsel be appointed by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to investigate whether there have been violations of the law.
Oh, but didn't you already say that Bush had "repeatedly and persistently" broken the law, Al, you sniveling dickweed? How about you make up your mind, asshelmet?
Oops. Sorry. Almost forgot - you don't have a mind...
Referring to reports that private telecommunications companies have provided the Bush administration with access to private information on Americans, Gore said any company that did so should immediately end its complicity in the program.
"Yay-us, fr-ay-unds, we should step bay-uck and lay-ut those niiiiiice Muslims tawwwlk about what-evuhhhh thay-uh hearts de-siiii-uh, without Bushitler lissss'nin in, heee-ahhhhh???? Puh-raaaaaaaise Allah!!!!!"
Preach it, assclown.
Fuck you, Algore. Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, and the stablehand cousin of yours that banged it.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:54 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
January 15, 2006
Happy Birthday, Misha!
I hate today. 'Cause it snuck (sneaked? snook? snark'd?) up on me. Just like it does every year.
For today, Denizens...is the birthday of he who got me to revive Spatula City BBS! as a blog in the first place.
I speak, of course, of Emperor Darth Misha I of the Rottweiler Empire. Go by and wish him Happy Happies if you haven't yet done so.
Thatisall™.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 13, 2006
Pat Robertson: Reverend Back-Down
(sigh) Another day, another .37 (adjusted for inflation & taxes)...another apology from Pat Robertson for something he said that's absolutely bang-on right.
Pat Robertson offered apologies to the family of Ariel Sharon for comments he made immediately following the Israeli Prime Minister’s recent stroke in which Robertson said it was divine punishment for Sharon's decision to divide the land of Israel and withdraw settlers from Gaza.
And it very clearly was...or at least, it can very well be interpreted that way. The Germans found out the hard way that you don't mess with Israel; Yitzhak Rabin found out in 1995 via an assassin's bullet that God doesn't look fondly on the division of his land - and yes, Ariel Sharon is finding it out now.
So the problem is...?
Robertson, chairman and CEO of the Christian Broadcasting Network, wrote a letter to Omri Sharon, son of the prime minister, expressing his "sadness at [Ariel Sharon’s] condition and my warm regard for him as a person.”
He may be a wonderful human being. Fine. But the Israelis are God's chosen, and one dicks around with them at his/her peril.
The TV evangelist had received scorn from the White House for his remarks and, earlier this week, was also rebuked by Israel, which said it would no longer move forward with Robertson’s plans to build a Christian theme park in the Holy Land.
Oh, so now we're more concerned with things like theme parks and President Shrubya's personal approval than we are with speaking out with the truth, are we, Mr. Robertson?
Robertson’s letter to Sharon was direct in its contrition, but it also blamed media reports for distorting his intent about the cause of Sharon’s medical condition.
Actually, I think I'd also blame Robertson's distinct lack of a spine.
But, that's just me.
"Regrettably, few, if any, of these heartfelt sentiments were carried by the news media in America or by the new media in Israel," Robertson wrote. "However, I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of the people of Israel for remarks I made at the time concerning the writing of the holy prophet Joel and his view of the inviolate nature of the land of Israel."
So now, little Patti's apologizing for preaching the word of God. Nice.
Robertson had claimed God punished Sharon for his decision to give settlements in the Gaza region to the Palestinians as part of a peace effort to resolve long-standing conflicts and frequent bloodshed in the region.
And this is the bang-on right part. Don't mess with Israel if you want to have any shot at a future.
Germany, Rabin and Sharon all know that now. Russia & China are going to find that out soon enough; Iran, sooner than that. Shrubya will have it shoved up his spineless ass eventually, too, should he remain on his present road-map-to-peace course.
Robertson continued:"My zeal, my love of Israel, and my concern for the future safety of your nation led me to make remarks which I can now view in retrospect as inappropriate and insensitive in light of a national grief experienced because of your father’s illness. I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of the people of Israel for saying what was clearly insensitive at the time.”
Robertson added:
"... I pray for the future security of your country and, when I speak, it is always as a friend."
Patti? Go away. You've backed down and apologized for so much of what you've said lately that you're pretty much worthless now. Last thing this culture needs is someone who'll cower at the barest hint of criticism and run like a scalded dog when he thinks folks don't like his ass. Hell™...we can get that from your average Republican politician, so what the fuck do we need you for?
F.E.J.F.E.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:49 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 12, 2006
Prayer request
Guyz, Denizen David Hartung reports that his wife is in the hospital, having possibly suffered a minor stroke.
Your prayers would be appreciated. For sure that family has mine.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:56 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 11, 2006
Mandatory required reading
(Hat tip to the Imperial Torturer™.)
You have got to go read this.
And that goes for every stinking one of you motherfucking treasonous bastards in the Lame Stream Media™.
Contrast actual coverage then with your coverage today, LSM, and then try to give me one good reason why we shouldn't fucking waste the entire lot of you.
Thatisall.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 10, 2006
So where was I tonight?
Eh. I might tell you - later.
Maybe. (mischievous grin)
Posted by sgc284 at 11:32 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 09, 2006
Reality check for the T-sips
Okay, Denizens, it's time for a reality check. 'Specially for Youze Guyz™ who are going apeshit over the fact that Texas University now posesses a Waterford Crystal™ football.
Let's get one thing straight right now: TU ain't as good as USC - I don't give a rat's-assed flying fuck what the score was last week, mkay?
The fact is this: USC beat themselves - with unforced turnovers and poor coaching calls.
People's Exhibit Numero Uno (a little Spanish lingo, there): 2nd quarter, USC driving, Leinart passes to Bush, who rumbles for 35 yards - and then inexplicably tries to lateral the ball instead of doing the smart thing and going down.
The Trojans would very likely have scored a touchdown on that drive - or at the very least, a field goal. Instead, TU took the ball and drove for a field goal.
Six point swing right there. What was the final margin again?
People's Exhibit Number Two: Fourth quarter, USC ball, fourth-and-two at the TU 45. The play call is LenDale White off left tackle - the very play TU admitted later that it was expecting, because "they hadn't stopped it all night". They did that time, for one yard.
If Leinart fakes the handoff and bootlegs, with TU selling out up the middle, he gains the two yards (and probably then some), USC kills the clock, and a horde of T-sips are crying in their orange beer all the way home to Sixth Street.
So don't give me this bullshit about how TU whipped USC's ass, mkay? You and I both know that that's a crock.
TU was damned lucky to escape from Pasadena with a three-point victory. Play that game again and the Trojans whip Bevo's lard ass up the field and right back down.
Don't get me wrong - TU has a very good team (They should, given how much money goes into that program - if you catch my drift). But they're not as good as USC, and that's the fact, Jack.
So enjoy your Waterford Crystal™ football, TU. But now that Vinny's going pro, I wouldn't count on another one for a while.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:58 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 08, 2006
FU, AP - I ain't buyin'
As you Denizens know, it's never been any secret about what I think concerning polls.
It should, therefore, come as no surprise when I say, for the record: This poll is pure, unadulterated, 100%, non-biodegradeble bullshit.
And the reason that I think it's bullshit can be found in this post from the good folks at Newsbusters. That post refers to a different poll (if I read it correctly), but it's extremely likely that AP/Ipsos is polling the same people for this question concerning the NSA wiretaps - which is to say, the poll is heavily skewed in favor of the pro-terrorist Demoscum we have here in this country.
(And you're exactly right, Leftards - I'm not only questioning your patriotism, I'm challenging it outright. You people flat-out ain't got dick when it comes to supporting this country, and you can go fuck yourselves if you don't like me saying that.)
So now I challenge the Administration: Don't let up on the wiretaps. Tap any call you deem is either from or to a known terrorist organization. And you can add the Asshatted Crack-Smoking Limp-Wrists Union, Pissants for the Anti-American Way, San Fran Nan Pelosi, Dingy Harry Reid and Teddy the (hic!) Red-Nosed Senator to that list too, for all I give a shit.
F.E.J.F.E.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:14 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 07, 2006
2005 Year In Review
New Year's Day. Our society's "Reset" button. Our culture - or what's left of it, anyway - reboots, reloads and starts over.
And with every New Year's Day comes two things in this household: New Year's Reminiscing, and New Year's Resolutions. A look back, and a look forward, as it were.
2005 was the Year of the Natural Disaster around the world. From the earthquake which caused the tsunami in Asia (and yes, I realize it happened at the tail end of 2004, but the effects lasted well into 2005) and the resulting devastation, to Hurricanes Katrina & Rita, which destroyed most of New Orleans and caused more than a bit of damage to Alabama, Mississippi and the Texas coastline, and killed close to 1,500 people, to more earthquakes in places like Indonesia, Micronesia, Turkey, northern Iran, Japan, China, Pakistan and even here in the United States, Ma Nature showed that she is still quite "red in tooth and claw", to borrow a phrase.
(more...)
Posted by sgc284 at 08:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 06, 2006
Slight change of plans
Denizens, we'll crank up the 2005 recap tomorrow. Just too much to do here, and work was a beast today.
Stay tuned.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 04, 2006
Question for Mack Brown and DeLoss Dodds
So, assclowns - how much do you pay those players?
Fucknozzles.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Slogans for women's T-shirts
If you're a guy, go right ahead and nod yer noggin.
If yer a gal...Plbbbbbsthhhhhhh. (grin)
Slogans for Women's T-shirts
1. So many men, so few who can afford me.>
2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.>
3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.>
4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.>
5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.>
6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.>
7. Coffee, chocolate, men...Some things are just better rich.>
8. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.>
9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.>
10. Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.>
11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.>
12. I'm out of estrogen, and I have a gun.>
13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?>
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.>
15. I hate everybody...and you're next.>
16. And your point is...?>
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.>
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.>
19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.>
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.>
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.>
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.>
23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.>
24. How can I miss you if you won't go away?>
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.>
26. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.>
27. Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Ayup, mheh.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 03, 2006
Housekeeping-ery
It's back to One-Legged Man™ status this week, Denizens, so don't expect a lot that isn't from the Grab-Bag™.
With any luck, the 2005 recap will likely be Friday evening, then I'll have an interesting post on a fat-assed grinch out in East Texas and his sniveling, double-wide daughter.
Stay tuned.
Posted by sgc284 at 02:39 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 02, 2006
PFW: Please leave, Bill Parcells...
HOUSTON - Looks like I may owe Gary Patterson an apology.
TCU 27, Iowa State 24
Oklahoma 17, Oregon 14
LSU 40, Miami 3
Dallas 10, St. Louis 20
Rhett Bomar, Adrian Peterson and KeJuan Jones staked the Sooners to a 17-7 lead after three quarters of the Holiday Bowl, then Duck quarterback Brady Leaf did a great imitation of his older brother Ryan and threw an interception to help OU ice the game.
...
Bo Pelini should be up for a college head coaching job after 10th-ranked LSU completely destroyed the 9th-ranked Hurricanes. In fact, as ESPN reports, Miami didn't even bother putting up a fight until after the game.
Matt Flynn subbed for an injured JoMarcus Russell, and at one point had led LSU on eight straight scoring possessions.
...
I said I'd come back with this recap if I weren't hung over. After watching the Pussies In Silver And Blue™ with that POS performance against St. Louis, I wish I had gone out and gotten drunk.
The Cowgirls mailed it in against the Ewes. This. Team. Flat. Out. Quit.
And still we don't know whether Tony Romo or Drew Henson can play a lick in the NFL.
There are rumors that Bill Parcells is going to retire after this season. Can't come soon enough for me.
...
Y'know, I'd love to say that TCU beat Iowa State pretty convincingly yesterday. I'd love to say how Saturday's victory validated the Frog football program, and how the Big XII made a colossal error by not including the Purple & White in its raid on the Southwest Conference all those many years ago.
And if I said these things...I'd be lying through my teeth.
TCU flat-out got its ass handed to it by the Cyclones Saturday. I can't really put it any plainer than that. I was telling Iowa State fans after the game that they dominated us and that we just got lucky.
Until the fourth quarter, TCU's running game was going nowhere - and at warp speed, I might add. Typical TCU drive during the second & third quarters: Rush for 2 on first down; rush for no gain on second down; third-down sack for an eight-yard loss; punt. Thankfully, the Cyclone running game wasn't doing much better; neither team had as much as 50 rushing yards through three quarters.
TCU finally used Iowa State's relentlessness to its advantage in the fourth, using misdirection to start gashing the Cyclone defense. Robert Merrill broke off a 33-yarder to get to the ISU 22, then would have scored on the very next play, had he not contracted a case of Lonta Hobbs Disease™ and coughed up the football at the 1.
ISU couldn't sustain their next drive, however, despite having figured out what Fort Worth has known for two years now - there's a reason why Quincy Butler's nickname is "Toast". Butler was flagged for two pass interference penalties during the day, and was burned for several other catches by Cyclone wideouts Austin Flynn and Todd Blythe, but Iowa State was unable to capitalize.
(UPDATE: Note to Quincy (assuming he or one of his buds at TCU is reading me): I'll grant you that those calls were likely not legit. The officiating positively sucked yesterday.
Case in point: the Merrill fumble never made it to the endzone, but the fucking zebras awarded the ball to the Cyclones on the 20 anyway. And that wasn't the only call that they blew, either.
But Quincy - ISU's receivers, while good, aren't great. You weren't covering Reggie Bush yesterday - you, Drew and company needed to continue to assert yourselves. Had I been ISU's offensive coordinator, I'd've thrown at you all game long, and I'd've blown out the Frogs.
End of mini-rant. Now, where was I...?)
The game came down to a 45-yard field goal attempt by another of the past two years' scapegoats, Peter LoCoco. LoCoco, as you'll recall, has had his problems over the last two years, costing the Frogs a home win last year vs. Tampa Bay Community College South Florida, and missing two field goals this year vs. SMUT.
But special teams coach Dan Sharp had a gut feeling, and with six minutes left in the fourth, the Frogs sent LoCoco out for the lead.
LoCoco made it right down the middle, and the TCU defense made it stand up.
TCU has won 11 games for only the second time since the 1938 national championship team, and won 11 plus their bowl game for the first time since '38. A top-10 ranking is a possibility, rarefied air the Frogs haven't sniffed since 1959.
...
The PFW will return in August with new teams, new visions of championships and such - and hopefully, a new Dallas Cowgirls head coach.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:38 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 01, 2006
Ouch
HOUSTON - With all due respect to the man, his fans, and to ABC...
Dick Clark, it was painful to listen to you last night.
Just sayin'.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:33 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack