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January 02, 2006

PFW:  Please  leave, Bill Parcells...

HOUSTON - Looks like I may owe Gary Patterson an apology.

TCU 27, Iowa State 24
Oklahoma 17, Oregon 14
LSU 40, Miami 3
Dallas 10, St. Louis 20

Rhett Bomar, Adrian Peterson and KeJuan Jones staked the Sooners to a 17-7 lead after three quarters of the Holiday Bowl, then Duck quarterback Brady Leaf did a great imitation of his older brother Ryan and threw an interception to help OU ice the game.

...

Bo Pelini should be up for a college head coaching job after 10th-ranked LSU completely destroyed the 9th-ranked Hurricanes.  In fact, as ESPN reports, Miami didn't even bother putting up a fight until after the game.

Matt Flynn subbed for an injured JoMarcus Russell, and at one point had led LSU on eight straight scoring possessions.

...

I said I'd come back with this recap if I weren't hung over.  After watching the Pussies In Silver And Blue™ with that POS performance against St. Louis, I wish I had  gone out and gotten drunk.

The Cowgirls mailed it in against the Ewes.  This.  Team.  Flat.  Out.  Quit.

And still  we don't know whether Tony Romo or Drew Henson can play a lick in the NFL.

There are rumors that Bill Parcells is going to retire after this season.  Can't come soon enough for me.

...

Y'know, I'd love to say that TCU beat Iowa State pretty convincingly yesterday.  I'd love to say how Saturday's victory validated the Frog football program, and how the Big XII made a colossal error by not including the Purple & White in its raid on the Southwest Conference all those many years ago.

And if I said these things...I'd be lying through my teeth.

TCU flat-out got its ass handed to it by the Cyclones Saturday.  I can't really put it any plainer than that.  I was telling Iowa State fans after the game that they dominated us and that we just got lucky.

Until the fourth quarter, TCU's running game was going nowhere - and at warp speed, I might add.  Typical TCU drive during the second & third quarters:  Rush for 2 on first down; rush for no gain on second down; third-down sack for an eight-yard loss; punt.  Thankfully, the Cyclone running game wasn't doing much better; neither team had as much as 50 rushing yards through three quarters.

TCU finally used Iowa State's relentlessness to its advantage in the fourth, using misdirection to start gashing the Cyclone defense.  Robert Merrill broke off a 33-yarder to get to the ISU 22, then would have scored on the very next play, had he not contracted a case of Lonta Hobbs Disease™ and coughed up the football at the 1.

ISU couldn't sustain their next drive, however, despite having figured out what Fort Worth has known for two years now - there's a reason why Quincy Butler's nickname is "Toast".  Butler was flagged for two pass interference penalties during the day, and was burned for several other catches by Cyclone wideouts Austin Flynn and Todd Blythe, but Iowa State was unable to capitalize.

(UPDATE:  Note to Quincy (assuming he or one of his buds at TCU is reading me):  I'll grant you that those calls were likely not legit.  The officiating positively sucked yesterday.

Case in point:  the Merrill fumble never made it to the endzone, but the fucking zebras awarded the ball to the Cyclones on the 20 anyway.  And that wasn't the only call that they blew, either.

But Quincy - ISU's receivers, while good, aren't great.  You weren't covering Reggie Bush yesterday - you, Drew and company needed to continue to assert yourselves.  Had I been ISU's offensive coordinator, I'd've thrown at you all game long, and I'd've blown out the Frogs.

End of mini-rant.  Now, where was I...?)

The game came down to a 45-yard field goal attempt by another of the past two years' scapegoats, Peter LoCoco.  LoCoco, as you'll recall, has had his problems over the last two years, costing the Frogs a home win last year vs. Tampa Bay Community College South Florida, and missing two field goals this year vs. SMUT.

But special teams coach Dan Sharp had a gut feeling, and with six minutes left in the fourth, the Frogs sent LoCoco out for the lead.

LoCoco made it right down the middle, and the TCU defense made it stand up.

TCU has won 11 games for only the second time since the 1938 national championship team, and won 11 plus their bowl game for the first time since '38.  A top-10 ranking is a possibility, rarefied air the Frogs haven't sniffed since 1959.

...

The PFW will return in August with new teams, new visions of championships and such - and hopefully, a new Dallas Cowgirls head coach.

Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at January 2, 2006 06:38 AM

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Comments

BUCKY WINS!

SHERMAN GOT FIRED!

MY PFW was better than YOUR PFW!

YAY!

Posted by: the Humble Devildog at January 2, 2006 07:58 PM

BUCKY WINS!

I, uh, think  I was the one who told you to have faith...wasn't I? (grin)

Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at January 2, 2006 10:11 PM

Real Pussified Football (as well as Real Shitty Government and Real Half-Assed HealthCare) is played in CANADA.

(I mean, who ever heard of a game with a rouge???? Howww about a lipstick and a mascara too, okay? Please?)

I might have more respect for your giant Klan rally if I wasn't such a homosexual pansy-ass!

SHORT-BUSISM RUL3ZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

Posted by: Canorkian Fagboy at January 3, 2006 06:25 PM

Syphilis must be epidemic up in Canada...

Posted by: Elephant Man at January 5, 2006 06:35 PM