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February 28, 2006
Supremes to NOW: (bitch slap)
And now for something completely different...Good News!™
The Department of Up Your Ass, Baby Butchers! brings us this heartwarming tale of the bastiches at NOW getting their fat asses handed back to them by the Supreme Court.
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Supreme Court dealt a setback Tuesday to abortion clinics in a two-decade-old legal fight over abortion protests, ruling that federal extortion and racketeering laws cannot be used to ban demonstrations.
I can hear it from the pro-aborts now: "Oh, noooooooooooooo!!!! What ever are we gonna doooooooooooooooooooo????? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!
The 8-0 decision ends a case that the 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals had kept alive despite a 2003 ruling by the high court that lifted a nationwide injunction on anti-abortion groups led by Joseph Scheidler and others.
Which tends to make one wonder just what the Hell™ the 7th Circus has been smoking recently.
Feel free to go read the rest. It's a great day for the pro-life movement in America.
Freedom of speech. What a novel concept.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 27, 2006
Dennis Weaver: 1924 - 2006
And yet another fairly well-known actor has passed on.
Dennis Weaver, who made a name for himself on the long-running series "Gunsmoke", and later on as the star of "McCloud", has shuffled off this mortal coil. He, like Don Knotts, was 81. Earlier, actor Darren McGavin passed at the age of 83.
The "McCloud" series, which Weaver called his most satisfying, featured a New Mexican lawman working as a detective in New York City; Weaver was often portrayed as riding his horse on the streets of NYC - which may or may not have been the inspiration for Big & Rich's lyric "Ridin' up & down Broadway on my old stud Leroy..."
The Realm™ extends its condolences to Weaver's family at this time.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:49 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
February 26, 2006
Don Knotts: 1924 - 2006
He was the incredible Mr. Limpet. Luther Heggs in "The Ghost & Mr. Chicken". The Shakiest Gun in the West. Hollis Alexander Figg - as in "How to Frame a...". Ralph Furley in "Three's Company".
But of course, we all knew and loved him best as "Deputy Barney Fife" from "The Andy Griffith Show", or anything even remotely having the slightest bit to do with Mayberry RFD.
Jesse Donald Knotts lost his battle with lung cancer Friday night in Los Angeles. He was 81.
Don Knotts was pretty much typecast as a lovable goofball with a nervous streak about him during his time with The Steve Allen Show in the late 1950s. He parlayed that into roles in the aforementioned movies (Limpet, Ghost, Figg), plus "The Reluctant Astronaut" and Disney's "Apple Dumpling Gang" with Tim Conway.
But it was as Barney Fife that his fans will always remember him...
a fully realized stooge, a hick-town Don Quixote who imagined himself braver, more sophisticated and more competent than he actually was. His utter lack of self-control led him into desperate jams that usually culminated with Fife at the end of his rope, bug-eyed and panting with anxiety. Sheriff Taylor allowed his deputy to carry just one bullet, which he was obliged to keep separate from his service revolver due to past trigger mishaps.Asked how he developed his most famous character, Knotts replied in a 2000 interview: "Mainly, I thought of Barney as a kid. You can always look into the faces of kids and see what they're thinking, if they're happy or sad. That's what I tried to do with Barney. It's very identifiable."
Thank you, Don, for entertaining us all for over half a century. You will be very much missed.
Posted by sgc284 at 04:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 25, 2006
"Pat Robertson Syndrome"
There has to be a new virus or something going around that makes religious figures seem like they're losing their marbles. Maybe we'll call it "Pat Robertson Syndrome".
James Dobson is the latest religious-type person to have acquired this malady, having decided that maybe heterophobes ought to have special privileges after all.
Some fellow conservatives are criticizing Focus on the Family founder James Dobson for supporting proposed Colorado legislation to give same-sex couples limited legal protections.
Add this conservative to the list. Damn, NewsMax - you say that like it's a Bad Thing™. What the Hell™ is wrong with opposing special privileges for sodomites?
The proposal would smooth the way for any two people who cannot marry to register for rights to hospital visits, making medical decisions for each other and property transfers. These rights are already available to two persons but they need lawyers to prepare paperwork.
It's called "power of attorney", and if this law was being introduced to reduce the legal rigamarole for normal people - you know, guys who weren't interested in fucking other guys in the ass??? - I might be on board with it.
But it's clear that this bill is clearly an attempt at appeasing the heterophobes - and Dobson might realize that if he didn't have his head up his ass.
Better to oppose the Demoscum POS bill than to offer up a watered-down version thereof. Yes, the opposition might fail - but worse would be to compromise your priciples and being accused of "growing" by the Limp-wristed Lunatic Left™.
The bill, filed by a Republican opponent of gay rights, competes with a Democratic domestic partnership measure that covers gay couples and, critics say, would treat gay couples essentially the same as married couples under the law.Dobson said he believes in equality under the law but doesn't want to redefine marriage.
How many times do we have to tell you, Dobson, you Doddering Dimwitted Dumbass™? There already is "equality under the law". I can't marry a man, either, and I'd have to exercise my option to grant "power of attorney" to a trusted friend, as well.
The only difference is that I don't wanna bang said trusted friend in the backside - unlike some of these limp-wristed asswipes, I'm not a pervert.
He told his daily radio audience, "I'm used to getting beaten from the radicals, from the left....I really find (it) very difficult to be attacked in such an unfair way from conservatives who claim to follow the cause of Christ."
Yeah, well - we really find it difficult to hear you actually sounding like a member of GLAAD. Suggest you get used to it, if you're going to start sounding like a sodomite-sympathizing horse's ass.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:24 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 22, 2006
Don't mess with the Marines
Yet another One-Legged Man™ day, guys, so here's yet another offering from the Grab-Bag™. This came from the old NewsMax forum (may it rest in peace, 'cept for the libtards & the stoners):
Subject: Report from the front linesA Taliban Army Platoon was on patrol when the commander noticed a single Marine standing on a hilltop in their area. The commander told two of his men to go take out the American, so they dropped their packs and promptly ran as fast as they could toward him.
Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The two Afghans followed. For the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop.
He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cap, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers.
The infuriated commander called for a squad to go get the American. They promptly ran as fast as they could toward him. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The squad followed, and for the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air.
Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop. Brushed off his cammies, straightened his cap, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers once again.
The commander was really hot now. He ordered the rest of his platoon to attack the American. Determined that Taliban soldiers were far superior to one Marine, they had blood in their eyes as they ran up the hill. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The blood-thirsty soldiers followed.
For many minutes there were horrific screams and dust flying in the air. It continued and continued. Finally, one lone soldier came crawling back to the Afghan commander, all bloody and beat about the head and shoulders. His uniform was torn, cuts were all over his body.
The commander asked for a report. The lone soldier, trying to catch his breath, replied in a forceful and trembling voice:
"Sir,...run,...it's a trick. There are TWO of them!!"
Oo-rah!!!!! 
Posted by sgc284 at 10:11 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
February 21, 2006
You're so vain - you prolly think this song is about you...
Having shown her putrid ass to the world with her baseless attacks on Misha, Debbie Schlussel - who shall hereafter be referred to on these pages as Debbie Wienieschnitzel (thanks, Humble Devildog (grin)) - has now decided to vent her squirrelly wrath (with appropriate apologies to Foamy) upon two other bloggers: Beth at She Who Will Be Obeyed and Jay at Stop the ACLU.
It is now the considered, Article-I-of-the-Bill-Of-Rights-protected opinion of this scribe that this Cupid Stunt™ has jumped off the deep end. A few bricks shy of a load. A couple cold ones short of a six-pack. A .22 and a .357 short of my collection.
You get the idea. (grin)
Mealsothinks that the Bloviating Bimbo™ doth protesteth a weeeeeee bit too much at the previous accusations leveled against her. Hyperbole though they clearly were, the level of her resulting shrieking causes one to wonder...why.
Just saying, is all.
So go ahead and sue, Debbie, you frothing fuckwit. It's called "malicious prosecution", and if you try it, I'll own your firm - and you - by the time all's said and done.
In other words, Ms. Wienieschnitzel...eat me.
Thatisall™.
UPDATE: Welcome to all from StoptheACLU.
Feel free to have a look around. Glad you're here.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:06 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 20, 2006
Office politics
Denizens, One-Legged Man Days™ are gonna start coming fast and furious, so we'll start you off with this one from the Grab-Bag™.
One could conceivably call these "Dilbertisms"...
Quotes from Real Life ManagersQuotes from Real Life Managers1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation in Redmond, Washington.)
2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)6. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)
7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what 'I' say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
8. "How About Friday?" My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
10. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
11. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)
12. Speaking the Same Language: As director of communications I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for "perverts" (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired-and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary, and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out - directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)13. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: "(Company name) is endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supersede, the expectations of quality!" (Lucent Technologies) -courtesy of Roy Hickford
Mheh. 
Posted by sgc284 at 11:17 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 19, 2006
And now...More Gratuitous Gun Pr0n™!!!
Well, you know what they say about addictive things...once you get started... 
A Ruger .22LR semi-auto pistol. (This will replace the .22LR Mark I that is going back to its original owner, with my heartfelt thanks for the use thereof for the last year.)
A Glock 31-C semi-auto, .357.
A Hi-Point 9mm semi-auto pistol.
What are the odds that I'll be one of the more popular bloggers at the Austin blogfest?
Posted by sgc284 at 11:17 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Ernie Stautner: 1925 - 2006
Ernie Stautner died Thursday of complications from Alzheimer's. Stautner was 80.
Now, unless you know old-school football, you have no idea who Ernie Stautner was. During the Dallas Cowboys rise to prominence during the late 60s, through the 70s & 80s, Ernie Stautner was Tom Landry's defensive coordinator. He later went on to coach Dallas' first entry into the Arena Football League, the Texans.
While Landry may have developed the "Flex" defense, Stautner was its engineer. After a career as an undersized defensive lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Stautner constructed the Cowboys Doomsday Defense of the early 70s, and Doomsday II of the late 70s/early 80s. Doubling as defensive line coach, Stautner developed great linemen like Bob Lilly, George Andrie, Larry "Bubba" Cole, Jim Jeffcoat, Ed "Too Tall" Jones, and Randy White and the late Harvey Martin (who later shared the MVP award in Super Bowl XII).
Ernie will be sorely missed.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 17, 2006
Klintoon: Always wanting to piss on some group's rights
From the So Much For Free Speech Department, we get this story of Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister, that noted tolerator of religions (*cough*), calling for convictions of European papers that committed the cardinal, unpardonable sin of drawing cartoons of Mohammed the Pedophilic Pissweasel Priest™.
Clinton condemned the publication of the caricatures by European newspapers and urged countries concerned to convict the publishers, according to the reports.
No arrest warrant. No Miranda rights. No public attorney for those who can't afford one. Hell™ - not even so fucking much as a show trial. Just slap the papers down in a damned kangaroo court and hand down the automatic conviction.
Shit, Blowjob Billy, whyn't you just send Janet El Reño over to Europe to start burning down the newspaper offices? Sure as Hell™ worked with the Branch Davidians, didn't it, asshole?
He said religious convictions of the people should be respected at all costs and no media should be allowed to play with the religious sentiments of people of any faith.
Uh huh. Do tell. Koresh's relativea should be ROFL all over that one.
"I strongly disagree with the creation and publication of cartoons that are considered blasphemous by the Muslims around the world," he said. "I thought it was a mistake."
Just like a plurality of the American people sent you to terrorize rule over the majority of us for eight godawful years. We thought that was a mistake, too.
Talking to reporters after meeting Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz in Islamabad, Clinton said he disagreed with the caricatures and that the publication was against religious and ethical norms. Clinton said he had no objection to peaceful demonstrations, but condemned the violent response. He said it was the time to promote inter-faith harmony and stand together on the issue.He said the people's religious convictions should be respected at all costs and that media should not be permitted to criticize other faiths. He said the media could criticize any issue including governments and people, but nobody had the right to play with the sentiments of other faiths.
Yeah, just like the Davidians' were.
Remember, Denizens, this lardassed lickspittle was the titular head of the United States Government, which - last I checked - had this little thing called Article I of the Bill of Rights. You know, that little thing that guarantees our right to express our opinion without fear of government reprisal?
Seems Der Kaiser has kinda forgotten about that little blurb, doesn't it?
Clinton said people in the U.S. had also condemned the publication
Correction: The spineless suckweasels currently occupying the White House and Congress and the feckless fuckwits on the Left have condemned it. We right-thinkers are all but having contests to see who can piss the Mooselimbs off the most.
and were deeply concerned over it. He said Americans respected Islam
BWAH-HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAA...!!! (snort)
as it was the fastest-growing religion in the U.S.
More like "the fastest-growing cult"...
Clinton also visited President Pervez Musharraf and both men discussed the India-Pakistan peace talks and progress in Afghanistan.
Someone might ought to get around to telling ol' Mushy that Der Kaiser no longer occupies the White House. Gee, it's a wonder India hasn't already taken 'em out. 
F.E.J.F.E
Posted by sgc284 at 11:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 16, 2006
Not guilty, not guilty, not guilty!!!
(With no apology and a swift kick in the ass to Garry Trudeau...)
Uh oh, Denizens. Shit's about to hit the fan in Extreme Lefturdia.
Vice President Cheney's been cleared of charges:
The investigation report, released to The Dallas Morning News Thursday, was based on interviews with several witnesses, including Mr. Cheney and Harry Whittington, the man he shot. No criminal charges will be filed.
Donktard heads exploding in 5...4...3...2...
All together now... 
Posted by sgc284 at 02:07 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Parody? Or ahead of the curve...?
(Hat tip to LC & Denizen Humble Devildog.)
ITEM: In 2004, the Onion posted an article about Gilette going to a five-bladed razor.
ITEM: For the Super Bowl, Gilette came out with...a five-bladed razor.
Coincidence? We think not...
Posted by sgc284 at 07:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 15, 2006
Just because...
Today was a One-Legged Man™ day, Denizens, so here's something from the Grab-Bag™, courtesy of the Mothergoose:
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Wives, take heed. 
Posted by sgc284 at 09:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 14, 2006
On Little Debbie Shithead Schlussel
The good & benevolent Emperor Darth Misha I got a little snarky towards so-called conservative columnist Debbie Schlussel yesterday.
Might have had something to do with the fact that Debbie said something really, really stupid.
Now Misha, being Misha, went a little overboard with the invective - so when hasn't he? Cthulu knows that the right-thinking side of the Blogosphere™ isn't short on invective, particularly the colorful type.
So how did so-called conservative Debbie Schlussel, supposedly a fan of free speech and an enemy of friviolous lawsuits, respond to Misha's lambasting?
Simple. She threatened to sue.
And Misha, having neither the time, nor (we suspect) the money to fight a SLAPP suit of this magnitude, chose discretion as the better part of valor and retracted thoes phrases which offended the delicate, virgin ears of the big-boobed Ms. Schlussel.
Not sure what the Cupid Stunt™ might have seen fit to get out of Our Hero. Misha's not exactly independently wealthy, and any judgement against him would've almost certainly resulted in a bankruptcy.
I will say this, though: Schlussel, you stupid bint, we may not like how Denmark had treated Israel previously - but she's lending a hand in helping to defend her now...and whether you like it or not, the War on Terror indirectly benefits Israel, as well. Their enemies just happen, by the sheerest of coincidences, to be our enemies.
And Denmark's helping to fight them alongside us. And you wanna boycott their stuff - just like the fucking ragheaded Islamopricks.
Guess which side that puts you on?
AFAIC, Schlussel, you daft cow...double what Misha had said about you. That's my Article-One-Of-The-Bill-Of-Rights-protected opinion, and if you don't like it, you can shove it up your ass.
But should you decide to sue me, make sure your process server has his HMO all paid up.
Just sayin', is all.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 13, 2006
On Cheney's hunting accident
Ah, Denizens, but what would a story about a hunting accident be without a fuckheaded, dumbassed quote from the Queen of the Gun-Grabbing Whores™ herself, Sawah Bwady?
James and Sarah Brady made comments today related to Vice President Cheney's reportedly accidental shooting yesterday in Texas."Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."
As opposed to you, Jimbo, who took a bullet for President Reagan and turned into a bona fide one?
One of the Rott commenters put it best: That's why you turned into a Demoscum, Jimbo: That bullet lobotomized you.
"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."
Shame you weren't there, Sarahbitch. I'm sure The Cheney's™ aim would have improved in your presence.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:44 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Memo to LC Radical Redneck
BUSTED!!!!!
(Memo to the rest of the Denizens: "Um Yeah" has been "um-masked". Check the comments in the thread immediately below for clarification. Thatisall™.)
Posted by sgc284 at 09:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 11, 2006
Gratuitous Gun Pics!!!
Yes, Denizens, it's time for something you've never seen out of this blog before: GRATUITOUS GUN PICS!!!
A Mossburg Persuader™ shotgun, 12 gauge, with pistol grip
A Smith & Wesson .38 Special revolver, concealed hammer.
A Springfield 1911 - A1, .45 ACP, military spec.
This oughta drive the GFW moonbats at Sherri's positively apeshit.
(Thanks, kudos and major huzzahs to the Imperial Firearms Advisor for his advice on these acquisitions. See you at the range, Kim.)
Posted by sgc284 at 07:27 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
February 10, 2006
The Demoscum are not gonna like this
You guys had better be sitting down for this one.
The government ran a surplus last month.
No. Seriously. A twenty-one-billion (with a B)-dollar surplus.
(Donktard noggins exploding in 5...4...3...2... )
The federal government ran a $21 billion budget surplus last month, the best January showing in four years, as both spending and tax receipts set records for the month.The Treasury Department said the government spent $209 billion last month, a record amount for January and up 7.9 percent from January 2005. Government tax receipts, however, also set a record for the month of $230 billion, up 13.7 percent from January 2005.
What ever will the Demoscum do?????
Posted by sgc284 at 06:20 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
February 09, 2006
Rules for commenting
I like this post. I think I'm gonna adopt 'em.
Tweaked, of course, to fit my own twisted personality.
UPDATE: Except for Rule the First. Fuck that.
Posted by sgc284 at 12:03 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 08, 2006
Wellstone all over again
After the Wellstone funeral debacle four years ago, you'd have thought the Demoscum would have learned their lesson and let funerals be funerals, rather than squealy pep rallies.
And then they hold the Coretta Scott King funeral, and reality slaps me in the face: These are Demoscum. They don't have the brains to learn.
Misha has hit the nail on the head about this, but I do want to add a couple of things:
Joey Lowrey...Chris Rock said it best about people like you.
You're a liar (there were, in fact, WMDs in Iraq; we even found some of 'em. The rest, as we here in the Blogosphere have been screaming about for years, were airlifted to Syria), a scumbag, and just an all-around hate-filled thug. Tied down to a fire-ant mound and covered in molasses would be a good start for you.
As for you, Prince Peanutass, when you opened your piehole, you demonstrated yet again why Ronaldus Magnus KICKED YOUR SORRY ASS 26 years ago. Only a fuckhead who supports "elections" which install tyrants in office like Hugito "Little Hitler" Chavez in Venezuela, yet disses our own, fairly-held elections would go so far as to rip a sitting President on a day that was supposed to honor a much-beloved woman - something that the President at least tried to do.
George W. Bush has more class in his little toe than the entire lot of you who either ripped into him that day, or stood and cheered when others did. You people are classless scum, and I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
ESGBROFOAD, every last fucking one of you.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:22 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
February 07, 2006
On the pictures of the Pedophilic Prophet (bees pee upon him)
In an AIM chat recently concluded, LC MVK Merr hit the nail squarely on the head when he opined on the Moose-limb cartoon riots:
To think that chaos occurs because of cartoons it makes me wonder why some were concerned that our actions would create more terrorists and that Iraq is the reason for Bali and the like if they get into a mob riot at the sight of cartoons which were reverted and placed in the controversial spot by a Muslim, himself.
One wonders, indeed. Does kinda beg the question, "Why all the resulting angst and hand-wringing over Abu Ghraib, et. al.?"
The ragheaded fucksticks are going to hate us anyway, and they don't need a reason, other than the fact that we support Israel. Time to stop pussyfooting around the goat-fuckers, stop giving a fat rat's ass what they think and kick their collective ass.
And then we can draw some pictures of that.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:08 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
February 06, 2006
Letters, they get letters...!!!
It's that time once again, Denizens. Time to see which of Dallas' liberal shitheads can make the biggest asses of them on the Letters to the Editor pages of the Dullest Moaning Snooze.
Today's first contestant is a John Bianchi of nearby Wylie, who opines:
Re: "Signs of Intelligence," by Stephen C. Meyer, Jan. 29 Points.
(Sorry guys - I wish I had access to the original letter, but I don't. Sue me.)
Mr. Meyer's column points to the complexity of the bacterial cell flagellar motor as proof of intelligent design. Since it is irreducibly complex, the motor had to be created in toto since natural selection would not work.
Precisely. And since the infinite number of monkeys still haven't written the complete works of Shakespeare, I'd say Mr. Meyer has a point.
This is like a person seeing an airplane for the first time and saying the Boeing 747 had to spring into existence without the Wright flier ever existing, due to its complexity. The 747 cannot fly unless all its systems work. It appears irreducibly complex. If we developed the 747 over 100 years of manned flight, imagine what can be developed in 3.5 billion years of natural selection.
Thank you, Bianchi, you dumbass. You just made the ID crowd's point for them.
Who designed the 747, hmmmmmmm? Think maybe it was (gasp, ARRRRRRRGH!!!!!)...intelligent human beings? Beings whom you now want to compare to natural selection (translation: random chance)?????
Game, set and match for intelligent design, I'd say. Po' widdle evolutionist fuckheads...
Candidates number two and two-A in our game today are a pair of heterophobic asshats from Denton, Harry M Benthhoff and Thean Griffin, who bleat:
[Mark] Davis cannot seriously believe that "movies and TV portray far more gay people than naturally occur in the population."
Yes, he can. So can I, limp-wrists. And so can the overwhelming majority of the population. Suggest you get used to it.
Most statistics suggest that anywhere from 5 percent to 10 percent of the population is not straight.
Most statistics commissioned by pro-sodomite, anti-heterosexual, eighty-percent-plus-or-minus-margin-of-error, we'll-phrase-the-question-so-you-give-us-the-answer-we-want bastard pollsters might suggest that, swishy boys - but the right-thinkers of the universe know better...that it's only about one percent, maybe two. So take your ten-percent meme and shove it back up your AIDS-infested asses.
It is patently obvious that 5 percent to 10 percent of mainstream movies and TV shows do not center on homosexuals, whether openly gay or trapped in the closet.
(sigh) Will & Grace, Book of Daniel, ER, Ellen, any show that Martin Mull happens to be on...need I go on?
For decades, Hollywood tried to censor gay people out of existence
You think that maybe that's because we find perverted fucksticks like you disgusting, not to mention not terribly entertaining? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...???
and today the media industries are only slowly moving beyond the "token" stage of representation.
While said media industries (read: Hollywood) are slowly losing more and more viewers and money, and are having to raise ticket prices just to keep up.
Nah, couldn't be a correlation there...
While we are happy to know that Mr. Davis has a few "gay friends," that does not excuse his heterosexist rhetoric.
Oh, while your heterophobic twaddle is perfectly okay, right?
His misinformed beliefs
Why is it that every time one of us comes out in opposition to these light-in-the-loafers airbiscuits, we're always "misinformed" "ignorant" "uneducated" or some other such bullshit? Did it never occur to these morons that we just might be right????
are exactly the sort of attitudes that create a hostile cultural climate for lesbians and gay men
Give me one good reason why we shouldn't carry hostile attitudes to you and the rest of you fucking perverts, assholes. We're not the ones wanting to fuck our own gender in the ass. We don't go around playing swishy-ass dressed in pink triangles lisping every other word that comes out of our mouth, acting like we wish we were women. We're not perverts.
creating that "living hell" (as Mr. Davis so aptly put it) in which many queer people find themselves trapped.
Wanna get out of your so-called "living hell", jerkfaces? Renounce your homosexuality. Can't really make it any plainer than that.
But thanks for playing out game of "Dumb-assed Letters to the Editor". Out parting gift is a swift steel-toed boot in your skanky asses.
F.E.J.F.E.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:33 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 04, 2006
Qu'ran etiquette
Yer prescribed treatment of all things Qu'ran can be found here, through the courtesy of Misha.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:04 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 03, 2006
The Internet is for...what?
Denizens, today's screamer can be found here.
Massive - and yes, I do mean massive - spew warnings in effect.
In fact, don't be surprised if you alternate between humming this little ditty & snickering over it all day long.
(Hat tip to the aforementioned Humble Devildog.)
Posted by sgc284 at 06:15 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 02, 2006
419 scams, we get 419 scams...!!!
Denizens, it was only a matter of time. A matter of time until the spammers and mugus of Nigeria got hold of my email and began to spam it like crazy, despite my best efforts.
So, in honor (?) thereof, it's now time to rip one of these mugus a new one...
Dear Sir/Madam,
Stopped clocks twice a day, pigs & acorns/truffles, etc...
Greetings to you in the name of Allah.
Steel-toed boots up your ugly ass in the name of Cthulu.
This mail might come to you as a surprise
A surprise? No, fuckwit - the surprise is that it took some shit-for-brains pissweasel this long to sell you my address. (The guess from here is that it was the Rev. Chickenshit or one of his offshore honeyboys minions - maybe Dick Job or Dr. Pimple.)
and the temptation to ignore it as unserious could come into your mind
Whaddaya mean "could", moron? It was regarded as "unserious" three years before you wrote it!!!
but please, consider it a divine wish
I'd watch it with those delusions of godhood you have there, Chuckles. You might start with delusions of inadequacy and go from there.
and accept it with a deep sense of humility.
Obviously this assclown doesn't know to whom he's speaking. (snicker)
My name is Khoren Pnjoyan, I was a merchant and owned Dubai Corporation a construction company in Dubai
This was, of course, in addition to his being the " Personal/ Corporate Legal Adviser to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL (Russian Largest Oil Company) Chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world)" and Maitreya only knows what else. Guy seems to have a lot of time on his hands, doesn't he?
I was also happily married with two lovely children to a beautiful American woman
Actually, I think I might have gone to school with her. Wouldn't you know it - we all thought she was marrying a loser; turns out we were right, doesn't it?
who died alongside my beautiful daughters in World Trade Centre in the 9/11 terrorist attack were she owned lots of flourishing Businesses.
Oh, then I can't help you. See, according to your fellow Mooselimbs, it was the Joooooooooooooooooooooooos who committed those attacks. You really should be asking them for reparations, y'know, Achmed?
Before this event that changed my life completely, I never really cared about other values apart from making money and enjoying life to the fullest with my modest family which is now history.
Now...after 9/11...he still cares about "making money and enjoying life to the fullest" - probably a coupla bottles o' Bull (a little 50-cent lingo, there) and a coupla ho's
Since this unbelievable incident I have found a new desire to assist helpless families. I have been helping orphans in orphanage/ motherless homes.
By taking as much money from the poor, clueless saps as humanly possible.
I have donated some money to orphans in Sudan, South Africa, Cameroon, Brazil, Spain, Austria, Germany and some Asian countries.
Somehow, I picture this guy going into some place in Hackensack named "Orphans' Liquor Store" for some strange reason...
Before I became ill
"Became"?
I kept £5 Million in a long-term deposit account in a finance company in the United Kingdom.
Not any more, it isn't. Blair's probably taxed it down to a couple thousand quid, y'know?
Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer
"Esophageal" cancer? What's an "esophageal"?
(UPDATE: LC & Denizen Humble Devildog advises us that this 419 miscreant didn't misspell "esophogeal".
Well, day-um. Guess his copy of Outlook does have a spell checker. (shrug))
I have since lost my ability to talk
...yet your innate ability to spew methane continues, unabated. The wonders of modern technology... 
and my Doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live
Oh, those big teases!!!
it is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations
...namely, your bank account - right?
Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.
How nice to see the acorn hasn't fallen far from the tree.
Please, I beg you in the name of Allah to help me collect the deposit and the interest accrued from the Company and distributes it amongst notable Charity home anywhere you deem fit.
...as long as it all points to your bank account, right?
Actually, my favorite charity is...me. Can I give it to me?
Use your discretion to distribute the money and feel free to reimburse yourself for any cost incurred during course of transferring the funds to your account. If you are interested please forward me your full name, address and telephone, mobile and fax numbers. I will forward this information to the Finance Company to pay the money to you.
...all $.03 of it, soon as you've managed to steal my bank info and skimmed off all my money...right, Acccchmed?
Warmest regards, please respond soonest, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
Hey, Khoren? ESGBROFOAD.
And quit spamming my mailbox, pigshit.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:01 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 01, 2006
Must be the lack of oxygen to their brains
Awwwwww, aren't the liberals cute & clever? (That's really all of which they're capable nowadays, y'know).
Today's episode of "Dumb-Assed Demoscum Ideas You Couldn't Pay Us To Take Seriously" comes courtesy of the Rockhead Mountain Snooze.
Don't want to have your phones tapped, your e-mails monitored, or your Google searches tracked by the National Security Agency?Sign up for the "no spy list" - a creation of ProgressNow Action, a liberal internet group based in Colorado.
Or you could just...oh, I dunno...not have anything to do with Al-Qaida? Seems that'd be simpler than making a total ass of oneself.
(Or in the Demoscum's case, any more of an ass than they already are.)
"It's like the no-call list," said Michael Huttner, executive director for ProgressNow Action. "We're looking to get people in every state to sign on."Based on the "no-call" list, in which people can sign up to stop telemarketers from calling them, the "no spy" list is an online petition which provides a way for individuals to voice their concerns about the domestic spying that President Bush has authorized the NSA to conduct to combat terrorism.
Y'know what, Mikey baby? (Gee, why is every assclown nowdays name "Michael"?) Waddaya wanna bet that the feds'll take your petition and slip it into good ol' File 13 posthaste?
You know...the circular one?
"We think that this story has legs and it's not going away soon," said Huttner.
You shitheads thought the Bush National Guard memos had "legs" and wasn't "going away soon", too, if memory serves.
That is, until the memos turned out to be forgeries. Remember that?
"It's not just the progressives and the Democrats, but also Libertarians and moderate Republicans who feel that private rights and civil liberties are being threatened by this administration."
Ah yes. The terrorist sympathizers, the pot-smoker wannabes and the terminally spineless. All the idiots from all the villages.
Birds of a feather, after all.
Members of ProgressNow Action plan to take the names (or initials if people are paranoid about being identified) and their comments about the spying program to the Senate Judiciary Committee, which will start holding hearings on NSA's activities next week.
Where they will be graciously and most seriously accepted by staffers - just before the right-thinkers there explode in huge-assed guffaws of laughter.
F.E.J.F.E.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:24 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack