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October 31, 2006
Ant and grasshopper, redux
Got way too much to do tonight, Denizens, so tonight's nugget comes from LC Juandos:
OLD VERSION:The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.
Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having ! nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: VOTE
Early, often and for conservatives.
Not Republicans. Conservatives. There's a difference.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
PFW: Told ya. (grin)
Memo to all you Romo-haters: WITY™???
UBuffalo 0, at Boston College 41
Oklahoma 26, at Missouri 10
at TCU 26, Wyoming 3
Dallas 35, at Carolina 14
Even though my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets didn't play this week, the PFW curse lives. Turner Gill, being a Heights grad, watched as his Bulls managed minus twelve (-12) yards on the ground in generating ZipZeroNada™ against the BC Eagles.
...
The Oklahoma Sooner defense stepped up for what seems like the first time this season, harassing Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel and generally making his life miserable for four hours Saturday.
In fact, all OU's points came off Mizzou errors.
"Opportunistic, I guess," Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops said. "I don't know that this should be a surprise because we've been playing this way for several weeks now."
...
TCU started quickly against Wyoming, both offensively and defensively. Ballard took the Frogs on an 85-yard jaunt through the Cowboy secondary, en route to an early 6-0 lead. Wyoming fumbled the ensuing kickoff, allowing TCU to kick a field goal for a 9-0 advantage.
It would stay that way until the third. LoCoco nailed another field goal, then Marcus Brock added a 3 yard rush for a 19-0 lead. TCU outscored Wyoming 7-3 in the fourth for the final margin.
Not that I was paying that much attention to the game, y'understand. I had a date, see, and...well... 
...
Things didn't start out too well for Dallas last night. Though they managed to contain Carolina for the first couple of possessions, eventually Jake Delhomme and company put a long drive together for a 7-0 lead. Tony Romo then threw a very iffy interception - "iffy" because not only did the refs blow the call, so did replay.
Carolina turned that into a 14-0 lead. Unbeknownst to the Romo faithful at the time, that's all they would get. The defense put the clamps on the Carolina offense, and Romo got his legs under him and started moving Dallas' own offense with some degree of efficiency. (The fact that Carolina had a bad case of the dropsies didn't hurt things any.)
So Dallas is now 4-3 with the scary part of its three-game roadtrip out of the way, and the next two very winnable, if the 'Pokes take care of business.
Which I think they will. And, seeing as I was right about Romo, how do you dare doubt me? 
This week: 3-1. Overall: 27-18.
The PFW will return on Friday.
Posted by sgc284 at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 29, 2006
Who are these guys, Jehovah's Witnesses or sum'pin'?
Today I proved that I can be nice to Demoscum who happen to suffer the misfortune of venturing within arm's reach. (In other words, I can interact with them without knocking the shit out of 'em.)
Some bimbo named Smart...yes, I know, a Demoscum named Smart is an oxymoron...came up to me as I was coming home and went into her "vote-for-me-'cause-we-need-CHAAAAAAAYYYYYYYNNNNNNNGGGGG-UHHHH" spiel.
Cut her off. "Y'just lost me, honey. I wouldn't vote for a Demoscum to save my life." Started to walk away.
As I was getting to my door I hear some smarmy remark from her about there being "one-party rule" in Texas.
Wish my thoughts hadn't been elsewhere at that moment - the best I could come up with on a nanosecond's notice was, "Honey, being a Democrat is your problem, not mine".
Sigh.
What I should've buried her with goes something like this:
"Hey, you stupid bitch, don't come carping to me about 'one-party rule' and expect me to have any sympathy for you and your fellow skanks in the Demoscum party, mkay?
You had one-party rule for 40 fucking years in the Imperial Socialist Congress in Washington, DC; you had one-party rule for generations in Austin, and now that you bastards don't have the monopoly on power like you used to have, you want me to feel sorry for you?
Let's get one thing straight, slut: Political power is not something that you gain by divine birthright - it's something that you fucking earn. And you ain't gonna earn it by whining about "one-party rule", y'hear?
You'll earn it - at least, in this state - by being more conservative than your opponent. You'll earn it by espousing the views that we represent, instead of those your butt-buddies Pelosi, Reid, Dean, Kennedy, et. al. espouse.
Tell me how you're going to allow me to keep more of my own hard-earned money and I'll listen.
Tell me how you're going to quit subsidizing Planned Parenthood, and eliminate the butchering of thousands of children per day at the hands of abortionists, and I'll listen.
Tell me how you're going to repel the attacks on the family by the heterophobe community, and I'll listen.
Tell me how you're going to see to it that the Free Exercise Clsuse of the First Amendment is put back on equal footing with the Establishment Clause thereof, and I'll listen.
Tell me how you're going to secure my country's border, and I'll listen.
Tell me how you're going to insist that immigrants here assimilate into our system, instead of whining about how we need to tolerate and assimilate into theirs, and I'll listen.
Show me how you're going to deport the 20 million illegal pendejos that are already here...and then I'll vote for you."
(No, Denizens - Spats isn't going to vote for a liberal. The fact is that the Donktards would sooner commit hara-kiri than govern the country the way it should be governed. Which is why they're the minority party.)
As for the pathetically-named bimboid Smart...nice try, honey. Too bad you didn't have a snowball's chance, y'know? 
Posted by sgc284 at 01:25 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 27, 2006
PFW: T.O, salads & rats, oh my!
As we kick off yet another quest for a Perfect Football Weekend™, we are alerted to this story about passing-game coach Todd Haley of the Dallas C'boys and his family's experience at a Mickey D's. Seems his wife and her nanny purchased a salad from one, brought it home, and upon beginning to eat it found a dead rat T.O. inside. (Apologies to rats.) The Haleys have filed suit.
This oughta be good. Pass the popcorn.
On to the PFW. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are guaranteed not to lose tonight. Might have something to do with the fact they don't play.
Saturday, the TCU Horned Frogs have their Homecoming game against the Wyoming Cowboys. Usually you schedule homecoming games against the Little Sisters of the Poor, but UC-Davis wouldn't reschedule.
The Frogs are favored by 6½ for this game, but I don't buy that for a second. Give me TCU & 14. Seven if Marcus Jackson starts.
Also Saturday, the 19th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners travel to Columbia to take on Chase Daniel and the Mizzou Tigers. OU's favored by 2½, and I wonder what OU team Vegas has been watching. This is gonna be a pitch-and-catchfest for Mizzou. Give me OU and 21.
Turner Gill should find the moron who made this 2006 scheduled for the UBuffalo Bulls - and wring his neck. The Bulls travel to Boston College Saturday to play sacrificial lamb to the War Eagles. The line is 35½ - and I'm guessing the final score will be more brutal than that. Gimme UB and 47.
Sunday night, the Tony Romo era officially begins for the C'boys as they travel to Carolina to get their heads handed to them by the Panthers. I've got my fingers crossed that Dallas can keep it close, but Carolina is not the team against whom you want to initiate the learning curve. Carolina's favored by 5 at home; I think it'll be at least 13.
We're back Monday for the recap. In the meantime, perhaps LC John Wardle and the Humble Devildog could debate on who'd win between Bucky and the Redskins...
UPDATE: Oops. Forgot to mention LSU.
Understandable - they didn't play, either.
Posted by sgc284 at 02:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 26, 2006
Noo Joisey Supreme Soprano Court strikes again
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, the Noo Joisey Sorprano Court must really love the Ninth Circus. For they keep rendering shitty, fuckheaded decisions like this one.
New Jersey's highest court opened the door Wednesday to making the state the second in the nation to allow gay marriage, ruling that lawmakers must offer same-sex couples either marriage or something like it, such as civil unions.
We'll refrain from pointing out, once again, how so-called "same sex couples" already have the same exact rights as heterosexual couples do. Neither person in a "heterosexual couple" can marry someone of the same gender, either. Same rights that every limp-wristed heterophobe has in conjunction to every heterosexual.
(Oops, guess I did, in fact, point that out, didn't I? Ah, well, sue me. (snicker))
In a ruling that fell short of what either side wanted or most feared,
Y'know, I'm well aware of the old axiom that the best judicial decisions are those where neither side's happy with what they got - but IYAM, that's pure bullshit. Despite the arrogant-assed, nose-in-the-air opinions these tin-horned blackrobes may have about themselves, their function remains to interpret the laws as they are written - not order the Legislature to create new ones.
the state Supreme Court declared 4-3 that gay couples are entitled to the same rights as heterosexual ones. The justices gave lawmakers 180 days to rewrite the laws.
This would be a primo time for that famed Noo Joisey "What, yoo tawkin' t' me???" attitude to emerge on the part of the Noo Joisey Hoffa Legislature™. You'd think that if anyone resented being told what to do, it's a Noo Joisey-ite. And who better to set the example than their assemblymen?
Probably won't happen, though. "Live by the court, die by the court", so goes the paraphrase.
The ruling is similar to the 1999 high-court ruling in Vermont that led the state to create civil unions, which confer all of the rights and benefits available to married couples under state law.
And that ruling was blatantly unconstitutional, too. But why let trivial matters like the supreme law of the land and the separation of powers stand in the way of what the heterophobes want...right?
"Although we cannot find that a fundamental right to same-sex marriage exists in this state, the unequal dispensation of rights and benefits to committed same-sex partners can no longer be tolerated under our state Constitution," Justice Barry T. Albin wrote for the four-member majority.The court said the Legislature "must either amend the marriage statutes to include same-sex couples or create a parallel statutory structure" that gives gays all the privileges and obligations married couples have.
"We can't find a fundamental right for limp-wriththththth...uh, to marry - thhho we're going to create one. And we're going to make the Legithlathure write it!!! It'th thooooooo charming!"
And the hell of this decision is...it looks as if it's the conservative one.
The three dissenters argued that the majority did not go far enough. They demanded full marriage for gays.
Ropes, trees, Noo Joisey Soprano Court. Some assembly required.
Time for me to hit the range... 
Posted by sgc284 at 06:04 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
October 25, 2006
Jane Wyatt: 1910 - 2006
Amidst all the hubbub from f'ball over the weekend, we almost missed the fact that Jane Wyatt has passed on. She was 96.
Many of the older set will remember her as the quintessential stay-at-home-mom Margaret Anderson in Robert Young's Father Knows Best - mom to Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin.
Those of us who are slightly younger (*cough*) fondly recall her as Amanda, the human mother of the Vulcan Spock in Star Trek - a space-based Margaret Anderson, if you will.
The Realm™, which bases much of its characters & material on the Trek series, sends the Wyatt family its condolences. Jane will be very much missed.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 24, 2006
PFW: Thus the Romo era begins
Well, it's about time.
at Arlington Heights 17, O.D. Wyatt 20
UBuffalo 7, at OhioPenitentiaryUniversity 42
at #14 LSU 38, Fresno State 6
at #20 Oklahoma 24, Colorado 3
TCU 31, at Army 17
at Dallas 15, New York Football Giants 36
Heights had Wyatt 4th-and-6 close to midfield with four minutes left to go in the game. Naturally, Heights not only lets 'em get the first down, they let 'em get the touchdown as well
Time for Duke Christian to go.
...
Ohio raced to a 28-0 halftime lead and didn't look back. Gotta feel for Turner Gill this year. (UBuffalo lost and didn't cover, so it counts.)
...
Adrian Peterson picked a good time to go out with an injury, as Colorado was simply no match for OU at home. Allen Patrick was a workhorse with 110 yards on 35 carries. Paul Thompson was 17 of 26 passing for 105 yards and a touchdown.
...
Another week, another home squash for the LSU Tigers. Russell was 15 of 19 for 210 yards and 2 TDs, one of which went to Dwayne Bowe, tying the LSU record for career touchdown catches and surpassing 2,000 yards for his career.
Bo Pelini's defense hasn't allowed a touchdown in nine quarters, which should raise the eyebrows of any collegiate ADs who might be looking for head coaches for next season (*coughTCUcough*)
...
Oh, did I say TCU? They didn't so much earn a victory as it was handed to them on a platter.
Trailing 7-3 midway through the second quarter, the Black Knights suddenly couldn't hang onto the football. Boom - quarterback David Pevoto was intercepted deep in his end of the field, leading to a TCU touchdown. Boom - on the next possesion, Pevoto fumbled, setting up another Frog score. Boom - Pevoto got pick-sixed by Ervin Dickerson. Boom - Army fumbled the ensuing kickoff, leading to a Tadpole field goal.
From there, TCU played prevent the rest of the way, and while Army scored a couple of 2nd-half touchdowns, one courtesy of a Marcus Jackson fumble, the Cadets never seriously threatened.
...
Drew Bledsoe has added a new nickname: "The Crybaby". He called Parcells' decision to replace him in the second half with Tony Romo "a bad decision".
No worse, one imagines, than the pickoff he threw on the goal line as the Cowboys were marching for a go-ahead touchdown towards the end of the first half, thus wasting a turnover on a rare (nowadays) Tiki Barber fumble.
And while you expect that from de facto rookie quarterbacks (Romo threw three last night, one of them a pick-six of 95 yards that put the kibosh on any comeback hopes), you tend to think a 14-year NFL veteran like Drew "The Crybaby" Bledsoe supposedly knows better. Particularly when the play was designed to go to the other side of the field to Widdle Terri Owens.
Whatever, that pick provided all the excuse the Noo Joisey Con Man needed to pull the trigger on the most anticipated Cowboy move of the last few years.
And for all the shitheads who are ripping on Romo right now for throwing those three picks, I've this to say: Romo will get better. Bledsoe won't. Romo may or may not take this franchise anywhere - but I guaran-damn-fuckin'-tee you that Bledsoe won't. Therefore, kindly take your love for Bledsoe, turn it sideways and shove it up your asses.
Other than that, the Giants kicked the Cowgirls' butts up & down the field. Tiki got 114 yards against what was basically a Swiss-cheese run defense. Plaxico Burress & Jeremy Shockey caught TD passes, and the Cowgirls just bent over and grabbed the ankles for them.
Cases in point: Shockey, after scoring, fired the ball into the end-zone wall. Brandon Jacobs, after scoring a TD of his own, pulled an Owens and showboated on the star in the end zone. And after every sack of a Dallas QB, the Giant who got the sack would "celebrate" by shooting an air-jumper, NBA-style.
Good thing I don't coach the Cowboys. Several Giants would be nursing ACL ruptures today if I were, and to Hell™ with fines or suspensions. Y'wanna win a game in my house, fine. Y'wanna try and rub it in my face, I'm gonna take your fucking knees out.
But that's not Bill Parcells. He lacks the passion to take the offense necessary to prevent that from happening in his house - which is why this franchise is .500 since he took over, and why it's not likely to go anywhere anytime soon.
Last week: 3-3. Overall: 24-17.
The PFW will return Friday for our best shot at one this year. I'll explain why then.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Thar she blows!!!
The Mothergoose in Denton makes our day with this sighting off Hudson Bay.
Probably Michael Strahan's girlfriend. Get your harpoons ready. 
Posted by sgc284 at 05:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 23, 2006
They got the wrong one
Memo to Kevin Tillman: You are an embarrassment to this country, you fucking bastard.
"Somehow, the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes," Kevin Tillman wrote."Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation
All right, asshole, exactly what part of this war is "illegal"? Show me the "law" the United States is supposedly violating, dumbass.
We're waiting, chump. 
has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground," he wrote.
What would you know about courage, virtue and honor, Kevvie, you fucknozzle? It's not like you have any, y'know.
Looks from here like friendly fire got the wrong Tillman.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 22, 2006
Yowzah
Previously, after my horrific experiences being married to the Lady™, I had stated that I wasn't going to get married again, ever. Period, in fact. And I probably still won't.
But if there ever is a future Lady Spatula™...it's very likely I met her last night.
Great. Honkin'. Cthulu.
Details to come. One of these days. Maybe.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:04 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 20, 2006
Saying the right thing at the right time
Just got this one from the Mothergoose in Denton.
Sure it's a classic, but it's pretty damned good, IYAM.
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight! I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT...Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS
Ayup. 
Posted by sgc284 at 05:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 19, 2006
PFW: The McMurry Fighting Amoebas
That bastion of freedom, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (aka the NatCollAthAsses - emphasis on those last two syllables), has once again triumphed in its quest as the defenders of Truth, Justice and the Native American Way by running roughshod over Yet Another Threat To Society Because They Had An Injun Mascot™.
This time, it was those Allah-philes from Abilene™, those Jihadists from Just West of Foat Wuth™, that ever-growing menace to civilization, the McMurry University Indians. Their cardinal sin? Existing while having the Indians as their mascot.
McMurry's solution? Go without one.
After the National Collegiate Athletic Association rejected McMurry's appeals to keep its Indian mascot, the board of trustees at the private, 1,400-student university dropped the name — and then decided to forgo a nickname altogether."Going to a mascot that has four legs and fur just didn't fit who we are," McMurry President John Russell told The Associated Press on Monday. "To take another mascot would be to turn our back on our 83-year history. We know who we are."
Yeah, I know who you are, too, Russell: Spineless wusses. The first thing you should've done - well, besides knock the shit of the NCAA's half-assed excuse-for-a-president - is tell them to go talk to your attorneys...because they're going to be talking to them.
But hey - maybe you can rename yourselves the Fighting Amoebas! Certainly, it's highly appropriate, isn't it?
However, not every school is bending over and dropping trou to the Mascot Police™:
Five schools changed or are changing their nickname, including Midwestern State in Wichita Falls, which became the Mustangs. One school was allowed to keep its nickname but was put on a watch list. The University of North Dakota announced that state officials voted to sue the NCAA to keep its Fighting Sioux nickname.
Damned straight, UND. Hell, I ought to add you to my PFW list for that reason alone.
Speaking of which, it's that time again. Friday night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are back at "home" against the T.O. O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals.
In past years, the Blue-and-Bluer have been fairly respectable, even good. This year, though, they've been like South Hills was last year - if they score, they win; if not... And they haven't won much; they're 2-3, with (you guessed it) three horse-collars around their necks. I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict Heights in a walk.
Saturday, the TCU Horned Frogs' one-week unbeaten streak comes to a screeching halt when they take on Army at West Point. Bobby Ross is notorious for making that one key mistake that usually costs his squad the game, but it ain't gonna happen this week against TCU. Army was one play away from being Texas A&M, and A&M just kicked the crap out of previously unbeaten Missouri, so I want TCU and 16.
Also Saturday, Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls are at Ohio University. That would be Frank Solich's Ohio squad, which has had 17 players arrested this year for various infractions of one type or another, yet they continue to play. Vegas has UB at +17 - give me 20. But take six off that if UB brings a few .38s...
Saturday evening, LSU takes on yet another creampuff at home - the Fresno State Bulldogs. (Perhaps Les Miles saw the letters "FSU" and thought he was getting Bobby Bowden's charges?) Oh, well, at least they keep the home fans happy.
Prior to that, Colorado - which just finished kicking the shit out of Texas Tech - travels to Norman to take on the Adrian Peterson-less Oklahoma Sooners. Vegas has OU at -13½, and my question is - Why? Give me OU and 10, 'cause I think Colorado's gonna win this game.
Monday evening, the Dallas Cowboys take on the New York Football Giants at Texas Stadium. The NFL's 3rd-ranked rushing attack will meet the league's top-rated rush defense. Something's gotta give. And that would be you guys - give me Dallas and 13. (Vegas has 'em at minus-3½, but Dallas isn't doing that well this year against decent quarterbacks, and Eli Manning ain't chopped liver.)
We'll come back Tuesday with the recap, plus more pissing/moaning about TCU, and likely yet another call for Bledsoe to be benched.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:44 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 18, 2006
Oh, McFuckhead, ya big tease
(Hat tip: the SpatulaGoddess.)
Best I can recall, I've voted for precisely one Demoscum in my life - and that was when I was too young to know any better.
But dammit, Denizens...this tempts me...
Arizona Sen. John McCain, a likely Republican presidential contender in 2008, joked on Wednesday he would "commit suicide" if Democrats win the Senate in November.McCain, on a visit to Iowa to campaign for Republican congressional candidates, was asked his reaction to a potential Democratic takeover of the Senate in the November 7 elections.
"I think I'd just commit suicide," McCain told reporters, to accompanying laughter from Republicans standing with him. "I don't want to face that eventuality because I don't think it's going to happen."
(sigh) You probably wouldn't even if they did, McFuckhead. Alec Baldwin setting the precedent ant all that.
Promises, promises... 
Posted by sgc284 at 08:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Air America: 2004 - 2006 (snicker)
Amidst all the hubbub about PFWs, One-Legged Man Days™ where I can't get shit done to save my life, and Pennsylvania chickenshits whining about how we're being mean to them ( ), we almost overlooked the fact that Air Scaremerica went and assumed room temperature last week.
Let us all gather 'round now for a moment of silence for the dearly-departed Air America.
(one-quarter of a nanosecond passes)
Okay, that's enough.
Posted by sgc284 at 03:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 17, 2006
Murtha the Cowardcrat: Unable to handle the truth
They have no problem calling us the "Extra-Chromosome Right", do they, Denizens? No worries if they wanna call us "racist", "sexist", "homophobe", or any other of a whole litany of names.
But just pin a label on 'em that happens to be 100% spot-on, and watch 'em whine and whimper.
The Department of "Truth Hurts, Doesn't It?™" brings us news of this temper tantrum by John-boy Murthafucker (Cut 'n Run Cowardcrat-PA), who isn't happy at all that he's been positively identified for who and what he is.
Rep. John Murtha, a decorated Marine veteran who favors withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq, wrote an essay for Sunday's Washington Post blasting Republicans for referring to him and other Iraq war opponents as "Defeatocrats".
Let's get one thing straight, Murthafucker, you chickenshit: We'll call you whatever the Hell™ we want to - and what the fuck do you think you're gonna do about it?
In hisopinionbullshit propaganda piece [ED. NOTE: Get it right, Newsmax!], first published on the Post's Web site Saturday night, Murtha, D-Pa., said Vice President Dick Cheney, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and others in the White House have called Iraq war opponents appeasers and pessimists and labeled Democrats the "cut and run" party."It's all baseless name-calling, and it's all wrong," Murtha wrote. "Unless, of course, being a Defeatocrat means taking a good hard look at the administration's Iraq policy and determining that it's a failure.
It doesn't, of course, but it wouldn't be the first time you leftist fucks have been wrong about the definition of a word.
OTOH, at least "Defeatocrat" has more letters in it than the word "is".
"In that case, count me in. Because Democrats recognize that we're headed for a far greater disaster in Iraq if we don't change course - and soon. This is not defeatism. This is realism."
This is cowardice. This is moonbattery. This is bullshit at its most putrid.
This is typical Murthafucker.
Murtha, a militaryhawkbraying jackass [ED. NOTE: I said get it right, Newsmax!] and close confidant oftop military officialsex-military official talking-head types who are reduced to getting their stiffies by appearing on CNN and bashing the Commander-in-Chief, surprised Washington last year when he called for pulling all troops out of Iraq within months.
For which he was rightly condemned as a traitor and a coward, and continues to be today, and will be remembered forevermore. John Murthafucker is a yellow-ass with a pygmy's pinkie for a dick and shriveled raisins where his nutsack used to be.
Then again, that's pretty much true of most Demoscum these days, isn't it?
At a GOP fundraiser in Milwaukee last month, Cheney accused Murtha of advocating a policy of retreat in the war against terrorism.
Yes. And what, pray tell, did Cheney say that wasn't absolutely, 100% true? I mean, we've heard it out of the mouths of the Libtarded Left™, have we not? "Redeployments" to Okinawa, according to the Pennsylvania Pussy himself? That's not the epitome of "cut 'n run"???
In the Post essay, Murtha wrote: "Democrats are fighting a war on two fronts: One is combating the spin and intimidation that defines this administration. The other is fighting to change course, to do things better, to substitute smart, disciplined strategy for dogma and denial in Iraq."That's not defeatism. That's our duty," Murtha wrote.
Let's get one thing straight, Murthafucker, you craven coward: If we suffer defeat in Iraq, and/or we subsequently get attacked here as a result, either directly or indirectly, of the bombastic bullshit laid down by you and your fellow Defeatocrats...you're gonna have a third front to worry about.
Hope you've got enough Depends© for all that "doody" then, you son-of-a-bitch.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Memo to the moron at spoofed IP 65.98.115.74
Nice try, but I'm not about to add myself to the spam blacklist.
Fuckhead.
Posted by sgc284 at 05:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 16, 2006
PFW: Now, that's more like it!
Memo to Houston: Now are you convinced that 19-10 was a fluke???
at Arlington Heights 14, South Hills 21
at UBuffalo 31, Miami (OH) 38
at LSU 38, Kentucky 0
at Oklahoma 34, Iowa State 9
at Dallas 34, Houston 9
One could not have expected much from the Yellow Jackets with its two top weapons out (wideout Manuel Williams also missed the game with an arm injury, in addition to Donnell Dickerson sitting out due to academics), and they certainly delivered.
If this were college, Duke Christian's job would be in jeopardy. As it is, they'll probably go another couple of years of this crappy football, then reassign him.
...
JaMarcus Russell threw three touchdown passes to Dwayne Bowe to lead the Tigers to a rout of Kentucky. Bo Pelini's defense continues to shine.
...
They postponed the UBuffalo - Miami (OH) game a day due to a massive snowstorm in Buffalo over the weekend. (Side note to Turner Gill: Next time you're home, can you bring some of that down here? Thanks.)
With the score tied after three, Miami scored the fourth quarter's first 17 points, then hung on late. Unfortunately, there was no line on the game that I saw, so it counts as a loss.
...
Speaking of losses, OU suffered a big one against Iowa State Saturday.
Oh, they won the game, all right. But it was the most Pyrrhic of victories, as star running back and almost certain first-round draft choice Adrian Peterson suffered a broken collarbone scoring the Sooners' last touchdown of the day.
Some might say he brought it on himself, diving needlessly into the end zone on a showboat move. But it looked to me as if he was knocked off balance at about the four, and merely fell badly.
Nevertheless, he's done for the year, and unless OU finds a competent backup, so may be the Sooners' chances for a bowl.
...
Memo to Dave Campo: This is how you treat an expansion opponent.
Oh, sure - the Cowboys stunk up the joint the first half, going into halftime down 6-3 on two Kris Brown field goals. And yes - Bledsoe looked positively pathetic - the only reason the score at the half was so close was because David Carr didn't look much better.
But then Dallas got the ball to start the second half, which is traditionally the time Houston begins to self-destruct. Boom - Julius Jones off right tackle for 33. Boom - defensive holding on Texans lineman Seth Payne. Boom, boom - Jones for 8 and 7 yards, respectively, then it was Bledsoe to Widdle Terri Owens for the first of his three touchdowns on the afternoon.
After an exchange of punts, Carr threw a pick off a tipped pass to Greg Ellis. Three plays later, it was Bledsoe to Owens again from the 21.
Carr's second pass on the following drive was intercepted by Anthony Henry. Seven plays later, Marion Barber shoved the ball down Houston's throat for a 24-6 lead.
On the very next play, Houston fumbled the kickoff right into Roy Williams' hands. That turned into only a field goal, but the Cowboys weren't done yet.
Tony Romo replaced Bledsoe halfway through the next drive and completed a 33-yard pass to Sam Hurd to the 2, then threw Owens his third touchdown of the day, and finished cleansing a very bad four-year-old taste from the mouths of all Cowboys fans, yours truly included.
This week: 3-2. Overall: 21-14.
The PFW will return Friday to chronicle TCU's third straight loss, and a renewed call for the firing of Gary Patterson.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 13, 2006
PFW: TCU doesn't lose this week - guaranteed
As we kick off (pun intended) yet another PFW, we note in passing that the half-assed excuse-for-a-college we love to hate the most, SMUT, aka Stan & Muffy University, has just reinstated quarterback Justin Willis after having suspended him for an off-the-field incident.
Willis committed the most cardinal of sins in the world of the politically correct, aka Leftard Pussyland: He dared lay hands on a heterophobe after relentless taunting on the part of the limp-wristed chumpette.
Willis, a redshirt freshman from Denton Ryan, will abide by unspecified sanctions resulting from the Office of Student Life's investigation, according to a university statement.
Translation: They're gonna force him to go to "thenthitivity twaining" and apologize to the faggot. Rumors that SMUT was also going to require that Willis offer to suck the fairy's dick were unsubstantiated at press time.
Justin - because of where you attend school and because of my abject hatred for that school, we can agree that we don't like each other a helluva lot. Nevertheless, were I you, I'd transfer and tell Stan & Muffy U. that they could go fuck themselves. A hundred other Division I schools would love to have you on their squad. And most of them can kick SMUT's swishy ass.
Awright, enough about the Shitland Ponies. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are at "home" tonight (inasmuch as "home" is on the southeast side of Fort Worth) against the South Hills Scorpions. South Hills is still a young program, but they gave Heights all they could handle last year, so I expect a game with the margin in the single digits - say, Heights by 3.
UPDATE: Well, I found out the deal with Donnell Dickerson: Academic suspension.
C'mon, Dickerson. Vinnie Young at least kept his grades up.
Saturday, Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls are home against Miami of Ohio. UMO no longer has Ben Roethelisberger, and Vegas seems to think that's a big deal - although there's no line on the game, they have Buffalo favored. Still, this is Miami of Ohio, so I'd like 28 points to go along with the Bulls, please.
Also, Kentucky is this week's sacrificial lamb for 14th-ranked LSU, as the 'Cats travel to the bayou to let the Tigers take out their Florida frustrations out on them. The line's 26, and Kentucky will be lucky to keep it that close.
Speaking of taking frustrations out on folks, Iowa State will travel to Norman to serve as whipping boy for the 23rd-ranked Oklahoma Sooners. In addition to getting pushed around by the pro team from Austin, OU this week got notified that they were being investigated for the Bomar/Quinn debacle.
Were I Bob Stoops, I'd have the Sooners' temper honed to a fine edge. As it is, Nebraska had their way with the Cyclones last week, and I expect more of the same here - the line is OU minus about 26 or so.
Sunday, we find out whether the Dallas Cowboys are contenders, or woeful pretenders. For although they lost in Philthy last week, they still had a chance to send the game into overtime. And this week, they have a 1-3 Houston Texans team at home.
Now, they should win this game. In fact, if they go back and remember 19-10 four years ago (the loss that sealed Dave Campo's fate, IYAM), this should be a royal squash on the order of the Tennessee Titans. And Parcells - if you want that this franchise should be taken seriously as a playoff contender this year...it had damned well better be.
Okay. Earlier this week, I guranteed that TCU would definitely not lose a third consecutive game this week.
And they won't.
Because they're off this week and don't play. Which seems to be the only way to keep them out of the loss column as of late.
We're back Sunday for the recap. In the meantime, LC Raging Dave...care to talk smack concerning the Boise State Fighting Smurfs? (r, d & g)
Posted by sgc284 at 07:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 12, 2006
Memo to whoever was searching for this
No, I don't have "Terri Irwin's Revenge". Sorry.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Check out this mural
Not much time to write about anything today, Denizens, so today's contribution is from the Mothergoose in Denton - an interesting mural on the ceiling of a smoke-break room...
Now, understand - I'm all for the freedom of smokers to live as they choose, and steadfastly oppose gummint attempts to oppress them.
Having said that, I am a non-smoker, and I consider this to be an extremely powerful statement - as well as being hellaciously nice artistic work. Props to the artist.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 10, 2006
If only the GOP had the spine to air this...
I lifted appropriated obtained this from Drudge.
It comes from "Airplane!" and "Naked Gun" producer David Zucker - who, as you may recall, was a Democrat who finally saw the Jackasses for who they really were and voted for W in '04.
He came up with this little blurb for the '06 midterms - and if the GOP had any balls to speak of, they'd use it, starting immediately.
But they don't, so they won't. But it's still funny as hell, so I figured I'd scarf it and show it to you before Drudge took it down.
Enjoy. Spew warnings 'n all.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:24 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Most other Presidents would've launched on this bastard
It is probably a damned good thing I'm not President of the United States right now.
Because I guaran-damn-fuckin'-tee you, Denizens - had I been President, and read this - I'd have immediately, and without regret, given the order to make Pyongyang glow.
So, Kimchee baby, thank whatever Buddha you fellate that there's a spineless wuss living on Pennsylvania Avenue right now.
Thatisall™.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 09, 2006
Well, hell, if that's all he wants...
So President Tom ol' Kim Jong "Mentally" Il likes nuclear explosions in his homeland, does he?
Maybe we should accomodate him...
Just sayin', is all.
UPDATE: LC and Denizen Tennessee Budd kindly reminds us that "President Tom" is the Iranian pansy-ass Ahmadinnerjacket.
Our bad. (sheepish grin)
Posted by sgc284 at 05:43 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 08, 2006
PFW: Starring Drew Bledsoe as Vinny Testaverde, part deux
Memo to Jerry Jones & the Noo Joisey Con Man, Bill Parcells: NOW are you ready to let Romo start?
Arlington Heights 49, at Eastern Hills 36
TCU 7, at Utah 20
at UBuffalo 25, Ball State 55
#9 LSU 10, at #5 Florida 23
Oklahoma 10, TU 28
Dallas 24, Phuckadelpha Beagle Pussies 38
Proving that teams can and do win without their studs, Arlington Heights won without Vince Young-in-training Donnell Dickerson. But Eastern Hills' defense is apparently the same consistency of Paschal's - which is to say, non-existent. Evan Woods had 227 yards a couple touchdowns, and Michael Armstead added 78 and 2 touchdowns of his own.
The Fort Worth Startlegram write-up makes no mention of Dickerson, which suggests to me that he didn't play.
...
UBuffalo is apparently the TCU of the East. Got a team on a slide? Just play Buffalo.
Ball State ended a four-game losing streak by jumping out in front with 17 first-quarter points, and cruising from there. Turner Gill's squad finally got rolling a little bit towards the end of the third quarter - when the game had long since been decided.
Since UBuffalo was only given five points by Vegas, this one counts as a loss.
...
Fine time for JaMarcus Russell and the rest of the Tigers to have a brain fart of a game.
LSU was ahead in the second quarter, 7-0, when Jessie Daniels fumbled a punt, leading to a game-tying touchdown for the Gators. Russell himself had four turnovers, and the Tigers fumbled the second-half kickoff, followed by a blocked punt on their next possession and a subsequent miss on a 41-yard FG attempt.
Pity Kentucky. They get the unenviable assignment of sticking their hand into the hornet's nest next week.
...
Well, how nice that DeLoss Dodds saved some of Vince Young's salary this year for the fucking zebras.
The Sooners still had a chance early in the fourth. But Juaquin Iglesias fumbled at the UT 16, and Robert Killebrew raced 24 yards the other way. Then OU's defense forced a three-and-out, setting the stage for a wild turnover that effectively ended the game.On second-and-10 from the OU 17, Thompson turned to throw a simple screen to Peterson. But the ball sailed over his head, and Peterson gave up on the play. Ross scooped up the loose ball at the 3-yard line, raced in for an apparent touchdown and UT led, 28-10.
Replay officials John Davidson and Jim Evans reviewed it and decided the ball was thrown and lost at the 12-yard line. By rule, that's a backward pass, referee Cooper Castleberry told the crowd, and the touchdown stood.
"I thought it was a forward pass, but I guess they saw it differently," Peterson said.
Oh, it was, Adrian, it was. And it was one of several calls that went the Shortdicks' way, thanks to what seems to have been a Dodds-hand-picked officiating crew. (Wonder if they came from the Pac-10?)
Eleven-on-eighteen still isn't a fair fight. All your orange-clad pussies in Austin have proven is that your football players aren't the only ones paid down there.
(And that's my First-Amendment-protected opinion, too, Tea-sips, so you can kiss my ass if you don't like it.)
...
It should come as no surprise that the Bigamy State's other team throttled TCU.
TCU's offensive line weighs in, from left to right, at: 285, 296, 272, 298, 271. Throw the tight ends in there are they run 242, 257, 261.
Utah's defensive line runs like this: 252, 310, 315, 265. And if they want to go heavy, they can plug in folks who don't go below 290.
Small wonder that neither Ballard (who started, unfortunately), nor Jackson (who replaced him in the second half but spent it running for his life) spent lots of time on their backsides - when they weren't either fumbling the ball or throwing interceptions.
Lonta Hobbs returned as TCU's starting running back - but then demonstrated that he still hasn't learned how to hang onto the ball in crunch time. His fumble led to Utah's final field goal effectively putting the game away.
A couple weeks ago, I said that maybe Patterson really wasn't in over his head in Division I. That'll teach me, I s'pose:. Patterson is not only in over his head, he may have won all the games he's gonna win this year. Next up is Army, and that's not a gimme, and the rest of the schedule gets harder from there. 3-9 is a definite possibility, and then where does this program go?
...
Right now, Morn Hitzges and Greg Williams on KTCK/1310 are trying desperately to blame this loss on anyone but Drew Bledsoe.
The fact is that Bledsoe gave the pansy-assed Beagles 14 points with turnovers - one fumble, one interception (out of three total) - the last seven while throwing for the end zone and seven points of the Cowboys' own
That's a 21-point swing. The final margin was 14.
You do the math.
I said it after Week 1, and I'll keep saying it until Parcells pulls hit fat Noo Joisey head out of his fat Noo Joisey ass: This franchise goes nowhere as long as Vinny Testaverde Lite is the starting quarterback.
And Norm Hitzges and Greg Williams at KTCK/1310? Both of you have your heads up your fat asses. FOAD, as far as I'm concerned.
This week: 1-5. Overall: 18-12.
The PFW will return on Friday, where we guarantee you that TCU doesn't lose next week. We'll explain why then.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 07, 2006
Make it "not cool" to own guns? Oops... (snicker)
Denizens, your assignment today is to go read Misha's rant where he rips a GFW™ (Gun-Fearing Wussy) so many new ones that the poor sap's new nickname probably oughta be "Swiss cheese".
Then feel free to go read the article itself. Do note as to how nearly all the commenters took turns verbally beating this dumbass like a piñata.
Brings a tear to me eye, it does...
Posted by sgc284 at 06:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 05, 2006
PFW: Frog MVP - Ballard's injured shoulder?
Guys, as we embark on another PFW, I'm going to refer you back to this fine rant keyed by yours truly about one year ago.
Nothing's changed - OU-Texas is still being called the (hack, spit) Red River Rivalry (hack, spit) by pussies who wish that football was tiddlywinks. A pox on them all.
On to the PFW. Gary Patterson's TCU Horned Frogs, having suffered a complete drop from the polls due to last week's embarrassment at the hands of BigamYU, proceeds to go 0-for-Utah tonight in Salt Lake City against the University of Utah Utes (or, if you prefer, the UUUs).
Utah got their asses handed to them by Boise State last week on that TV-tube-melting blue crap they call a football field, so the Utes will be looking to take out their frustrations. A task at which TCU seems to excel perfectly. And Patterson did his radio show this week, so the Froggies aren't anywhere near prepared, so you can have the Utes, but I want 38.
UPDATE: Oops. That whipping at Boise State's hands wasn't on the Smurf Turf™.
The game was in Salt Lake City. Ouch.
I should mention that TCU's hopes did get a boost this week. Jeff Ballard's shoulder seems to be bothering him, so we may see Marcus Jackson start this week. That's Marcus Jackson as in "faster, better-armed, quicker" Marcus Jackson. So we'll see.
Friday evening, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets go "on the road", as it were, and open district play against the Eastern Hills Highlanders, home of the hottest cheer...hmmm, I'd best not. Don't wanna be accused of being a Mark Foley. 
Anyway, unless Fort Worth football has deteriorated like Heights' program has, this is gonna be ugly. May be so, anyway, who knows?
Saturday, Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls are at home against Ball State. State's actually favored by 5 or so in this one, so this game actually looks winnable. As per usual, however, we'll go with how they do against the spread (which at publication time was UBuff plus 5½).
Also Saturday, ninth-ranked LSU travels to the Florida swamp to play Urban Meyer's fifth-ranked Florida Gators. The Tigers are favored here, but it's too close to call (Vegas has Fla at plus-1). If LSU wins, it'll be because of Bo Pelini's stifling defense.
And last, but not least for Saturday comes the aforementioned OU-Texas shootout. As everyone knows, Texas smashed the Sooners last year, but they're not the same team without Vinnie "Oops, Terrance Newman just picked one off" Young, something which Ohio State just got through proving. Still, the Shortdicks are favored by between 4 and 5, so we'll see. I'm gonna go with OU on a late Adrian Peterson touchdown.
Finally, the Dallas Cowboys travel to the City of Brotherly Shove, Filthydelphia, to take on The World's Greatest Quarterback In The History Of Ever, Ever™, and the rest of the Beagles. All eyes will be on one Widdle Terri Owens, and how he does against the teeth of one of the NFL's best defenses.
Terri - should you be fortunate enough to get in the end zone Sunday - I'd be inclined to overlook any...uh..."celebration" you wished to perform.
We're back Sunday for the recap. In the meantime, Humble Devildog - how's Bucky doing?
Posted by sgc284 at 08:35 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 04, 2006
On Foley and that whole mess
Okay, I'm on board with all the outrage against the infamous Mr. Foley. There wouldn't be enough cops on the planet to prevent what I'd do to him (or any limp-wristed fucktard) who made eyes/IMs at my boy that way, alright?
That said...I find this verrrrrry interesting.
A radical activist on a mission to "out" conservative homosexual lawmakers and Capitol Hill staffers held on to information about Rep. Mark Foley's relationships with underage male pages, suggesting the story would break at the time of mid-term elections.
If this is the Left's version of an "October Surprise" - if there are more leftist mongoloids holding onto to alleged shit like this, just waiting to spring it on a Republican campaign weeks (days?) before an election - then it might be nearing time to deprive these bastards of certain of their so-called "rights".
The hard way, if you catch my drift.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:11 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 03, 2006
Blog linkage-ery, and the newest member of the Realm™
The SpatulaGoddess (long may she broadcast massive quantities of hawtness ) has graced us all with this little tidbit, and you're encouraged to go read it.
Which reminds me - have I introduced you to...
...Bear?
This pic was taken about three months ago (he's about doubled in size since then). The animal shelter folks say he's a sheltie/collie mix, though I swear there's some shepherd in him somewhere.
His formal name is Bear, but the informal name I've given him is "D'ohji".
Sound it out, you'll get it.
Memo to Chris Bellomy (assuming you still stop by from time to time): Yes, that canine of yours was the inspiration. Thanks.
Thatisall™. We now return you to several episodes of me being this mutt's favorite chewtoy...
Posted by sgc284 at 05:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 02, 2006
Vote? Why?
No, I didn't have time today to write about anything. Between the clutch on the Anti-Pimpmobile™ (translation: it's anything but pimped up) going toes up on me, and then being required to at least try and do my job despite it all, there's been scant little time to read much of anything about which to blog.
Which is probably for the best, 'cause if I'd read this earlier, it probably would have given rise to an RCOB moment.
As it is, Allahpundit has a great take on it, and by all means don't miss Misha's rant on this subject.
And to think - I just got through (finally!) registering to vote for this cycle. Nice to see I wasted my time, huh?
Posted by sgc284 at 09:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 01, 2006
PFW: Aw shit, part deux
Fuckin' Mormon pussies.
at Arlington Heights 25, Kennedale 34
at #17 TCU 17, BigamYU 31
at #9 LSU 48, Mississippi State 17
Dallas 45, at Tennessee 14.
Heights gave up two touchdowns in the fourth quarter to spoil a very nice first three quarters. Coach Duke Christian's squad looks like it simply isn't big, fast or talented enough (with the exception of Donnell Dickerson, whom they're now calling their quarterback) to hang with anyone above 3A. I have a really bad feeling about this season going forward.
...
Career day for JaMarcus Russell, according to ESPN. 14 consecutive completions on the way to 330 yards passing put the Bulldogs away early and Tiger fans away by halftime. Bo Pelini's defense was Draconian for MSU's ground attack (14 net yards the entire game), and one first down in their first five possessions.
...
Memo to Vinnie Young: Not quite as easy when the other team is getting paid too, is it?
As you will recall, Denizens, I was hoping that Dallas would provide The Greatest Rookie Quarterback In The History Of Ever, Ever™ with his very own "Welcome to the NFL, rookie" initiation rite. For once, the Cowboys did not disappoint.
Young did, in fact, complete a few passes and engineer a touchdown drive, plus a two-point conversion on a quarterback draw. But Dallas was in his face all day long, sacking him twice, forcing a couple of interceptions (including a 15-yard pick-six by Bradie James on a very ill-advised throw from the end zone), plus a lost fumble at the end of a scramble which Dallas also converted into points.
Bledsoe threw a couple of 13-yard TD passes to Terry Glenn, Widdle Terri Owens managed five catches for 88 yards despite a broken hand, and Julius Jones gained 122 yards rushing behind an offensive line that may be starting to put it all together. Which, if that is in fact the case, could be the start of the Cowboys realizing their offensive potential.
Titans' defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth became NFL Public Enemy No. 1 when, after a Jones touchdown, he kicked Dallas center André Gurode's helmet off his head, then stomped lightly on Gurode's head, causing lacerations to his forehead and just under his eye. Haynesworth was ejected from the game and, despite showing contrition afterward, will likely be suspended and heavily fined.
Other than that, the only bad thing to happen to the Cowboys all day was that Vander-doink pushed another field-goal attempt right, this time clanging it off the upright. Parcells & Jerry Jones should probably cut their losses now and let the arrogant little prick go.
...
It's attaboy/awshit all over again at TCU.
A massive effort against one of the best passing attacks in college football, plus twelve - TWELVE! - days to prepare for a similar passing game...all flushed down the commode against a team that had only five days to prepare. Four, if you consider that BigamY U had to travel.
In other words, that had to be the most pathetic effort I've seen from a Frog team since...well, since SMUT last year. And that's from the head coach on down.
After holding Bigamy U. to a three-and-out on their first possession, TCU got the ball and started in where they left off in Provo last year - with Jeff Ballard slinging the ball all over the lot. The Frogs covered 50 yards in about three plays.
At which point, Patterson became too clever by half. He thought he'd cross the Mormons up by running the ball. Whereupon his back promptly got stuffed, followed in short order by a Ballard sack.
The Frogs wound up punting the ball, whereupon Bigamy U. immediately began the night-long undressing of the Tadpole secondary. From that point, it was pitch-and-catch the rest of the night for the Cougars. One would have thought Quincy "Toast" Butler had come back for a cameo.
TCU's last best hope to keep the game close ended early in the 2nd quarter with another sack of Ballard, this time from the blind side. The resulting fumble was recovered by the Cougars, who promptly went on an 11-play, 82-yard jaunt through the TCU defensive backfield.
TCU would pull within seven in the third quarter, but then give up two touchdowns in the fourth quarter - the first time that's happened at Amon Carter in a while - for the final margin.
So the Froggies blow yet another opportunity to have their program taken seriously by the rest of the country, and who knows when the next time will come.
Memo to Gary Patterson: A couple of weeks ago, I said all was forgiven. Well, you've started a new tab, and it'll take a helluva lot more than a win over Texas Tech to clear this one. Suggest you forego your radio show this week in favor of patching up that swiss cheese defense of yours. And if you felt like, say, rewarding Jeff Ballard's shitty play so far with a seat on the bench, well, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, either.
This week: 2-2. Overall: 17-7.
The PFW returns Thursday for what will likely be the swan song for TCU's chances to win the Mountain West this year.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack