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May 31, 2007
Dr. Seuss & the workplace
Denizens, at the moment I'm working on a verbal bitch-slapping of a complete asswipe, but just so you don't miss me too much 
, here's something out of the Grab-Bag™ from the Mothergoose in Denton:
Have fun. 
Posted by sgc284 at 10:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 28, 2007
Remember why.
Happy Memorial Day, Denizens.
The annual posting of the Memorial Day column can be found here.
It remains a very good read, even today. Hie thee hence. Go. Shoo.
And remember why we have this day today.
Thatisall™.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 27, 2007
Time out for various & sundry
Okay, so while the SpatulaBride™ is sleeping, I'm catching up on some chores, and in the midst of all that, I started going through my inbox to throw stuff in folders.
And I found this, sent to me last year though the old Everyone's Internet mail account:
Subject: blog link trade?Hi there,
I'm a reader. I've recently started a blog of my own, at empiresfall.blogspot.com, and I wonder if you'd consider adding a link to me. I'll put up a reciprocal link.
You're doing a great job, by the way. Keep up the good work.
So I went and looked at the guy's site. Not only has he updated it just once since December...he's also a skosh to the left of Dingy Harry Reid. (Bonus points if you can tell me the pop culture reference for the word "skosh".)
Mr. Empiresfallman, with all due respect...that is to say, very damned little, given your political leanings...thanks, but - to quote one of yer links - "sadly, no".
And it'll help if you actually read my blog before asking to link to it. Somehow, I get the feeling you haven't.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 25, 2007
Donning the Ball And Chain™ once again...
Denizens, I'm going to be out of pocket for a few days.
As you may or may not know, I'm taking one final whack at the matrimony thingie, beginning today at around 3:00. (The Emperor and the SpatulaGoddess will be there, and if you're reeeeeal nice to 'em, they might just blog on the experience, mheh.)
When I come back, I'll have a Major Announcement™ for you guys. Stay tuned.
Thatisall™.
UPDATE: Oh, guys, you are not gonna believe the surprise La Reina Espatula™ & I got tonight for dinner.
Full report plus pictures forthcoming. Especially watch this space.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:28 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
May 23, 2007
Homework assignment
(Hat tip LC HJ Caveman82952.)
Denizens, you have absolutely, positively, without fail, got to got to got to GOT TO go see this video.
According to Caveman, this was created by a fifteen-year-old girl.
A fifteen-year-old girl, I might add, that has more patriotism in her little pinky toe than all the Demoscum do collectively.
Thatisall™.
UPDATE: Some of you guys are having trouble linking to it, so here it is:
Posted by sgc284 at 09:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 21, 2007
The Window War
(Hat tip Emperor Misha, as usual.)
Denizens, your assignment for tonight is to read this fine work by Mike Vanderboegh on The War on Guns.
Ask yourself: How much more are we gonna take?
Posted by sgc284 at 05:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 19, 2007
Princess N@ joins up
This just in from the SpatulaGoddess Emeritus:
at 12 pm today I was sworn to defend the USA from enemies foreign and domestic… Thus demolishing the leftards’ beloved bromide about how everyone who joins the military is poor, stupid, mislead and uneducated. Eat crow, leftards–YET AGAIN! Maybe your little fast-food-slinging comrade Jesse McBitch can serve you some hot sauce with that. Mullahs, hold on to your towels. Commies, hold on to your red diapers.
Now there's one major babe to whom I will not say "CSITMF".
Posted by sgc284 at 05:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 16, 2007
Jerry Falwell: 1933 - 2007
The right-thinkers of America & the world lost an icon yesterday. The Reverend Jerry Falwell was called home at age 73.
Falwell was the author of the rise of the Christian Right - a force in politics without which the GOP still can't win a general election even today. He gave those of us who call on the name of the Lord the confidence to declare our beliefs before the nation, unashamed. He took the lead in proclaiming that no, abortion is not okay; no, homosexuality is not okay; no, pornography is not okay. He helped bring us Ronaldus Magnus and control of the Senate in 1986.
Naturally, "wire reports" (read: the Asphyxated Piss) couldn't resist using one of their limp-wristed tools to take a last parting shot at Rev. Falwell:
Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, extended condolences to those close to Mr. Falwell, but added: "Unfortunately, we will always remember him as a founder and leader of America's anti-gay industry, someone who exacerbated the nation's appalling response to the onslaught of the AIDS epidemic,
"Appalling" here meaning "correctly pointing out that the heterophobe community was chiefly responsible for bringing it to this country". It still sticks in Wittle Mattie'th craw that Patient Zero was a regular at one of the San Transexual bathhouses.
someone who demonized and vilified us for political gain,
"Who did his betht to thtave off our takeover of government and the thubthequent thhoving of our agenda up the American athth..."
and someone who used religion to divide rather than unite our nation."
Think you're divided now, Matilda? Wait until you're standing before God on the Day of Judgement. You'll be wishing it was only Jerry then.
The Realm™'s deepest condolences & prayers go out to the Falwell family, Thomas Road Baptist Church and Liberty University. Our hearts are with you, and we grieve & mourn alongside you.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Oh, that's gonna leave a mark
(Hat tip: Sir George.)
Item: Mikey Fatfuck has challenged Fred! to a debate over health care.
And here is Fred's! response:
Now that, my friends, is what you call a bitch-slap. 
Posted by sgc284 at 09:11 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 13, 2007
Happy Birthday, Stephen Geoffrey "Skip" Crager, Jr!
(This one will stay on top all day. Look below for new posts - today only.)
(ED. NOTE: The following originally appeared in this space a couple of years ago. I'm reprinting it now, with appropriate tweaks.And Skip - my son, you may not understand this now, but the reason I'm writing this has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with why you not only don't get to ever spend any time with me, but also why you haven't received a birthday or Christmas present since 2003, thanks to your mother and your grandparents. (More on that later.)
And thanks to what they're probably telling you about me, you might not even believe any of this - but it's true, and I have the documentation to prove it.
I do love you, son. I realize your mother and grandparents will try mightily to persuade you that I don't - but I do, very much. Someday - hopefully - I'll get to tell you to your face.)
As most of you have probably figured out by now, this is my boy - or, as Denizen David Hartung has called him, "Spatula II".
Hmmmm. "Prince Spatula II". Kinda has a ring to it. (grin)
(Side note: Certain excuses-for-humans in East Texas still don't know how I got ahold of this picture. Bet it'd be a shock to them to know that some of their "friends" aren't quite as reliable as they'd thought... (snicker))
Anyway, today's his 5th birthday. It's the latest in a series of birthdays I'll never get to see.
It occurs to me that I need to again tell you guys what eventually happened with his (*hack, spit*) mother (*hack, spit*) not allowing me to see him.
That was resolved, and not necessarily for my benefit, either - but at the very least, neither will she benefit. In fact, if you get down to brass tacks about the whole thing, the real loser here is Skip himself. Anyway, here's the story:
The divorce was granted October 17th, 2003. A visitation schedule had already been negotiated and agreed to - in fact, I've blogged on that already.
Picking the story up from there: I started making the specified trips to Greenville, Texas, for the purposes of collecting Skip for his agreed-to visitation with me. Collected evidence that I was there and everything.
Naturally, She Who Can't Be Tasked To Obey Court Orders™ refused to show.
So I took my evidence and filed a criminal complaint against her. What is not commonly known is that it's a criminal offense to interfere with child custody rights in Texas. It's what they call a "state jail felony", lodged right in there between a Class A misdemeanor and a 3rd-degree felony.
And, had the District Attorney of Hopkins County, TX, had the balls to pursue the complaint, things could have gotten very bad for our favorite fat-assed bitch. You tell me what school district would've wanted to consciously hire a convicted felon?
But - as I had partially expected and fully feared - the good ol' boy network in Sulphur Springs kicked in. The district attorney not only sat on his hands regarding the case, but I strongly suspect he tipped off Steffi's excuse-for-an-attorney about it.
Said excuse-for-an-attorney began to harass me concerning an obscure concept called a "transistion scheme". Theoretically, because of the so-called "estrangement" between me and my son, they wanted to get him "used" to having me around again gradually, in stages.
Of course, they failed to point out that: a) Her Doublewide Assness caused any "estrangement", and b) during the two times in 2003 this trollop was gracious enough to let me see him, he sure as Hell™ didn't look "estranged" from me.
But something else they failed to do...is incorporate the words "transition scheme" in the final divorce decree. As a result, what was in there were dates specific and time periods specific when I was entitled to have my boy.
Dates and times specific which they ignored without fear of penalty whatsoever, as they had the district attorney in their back pocket.
Eventually, however, the evidence mounted to the point where they had to do something, else the DA would have no choice but to prosecute, lest someone in the media take note and launch an investigation (and yes, I was beginning to contact media types for just this purpose).
I was served in February with papers requesting that the judge in the original case modify the visitation schedule to include the words "transition scheme" and start with the gradual shit again. In other words, Denizens - she wanted a do-over.
I hired an attorney in Sulphur Springs (who, thank Gawd™, was more competent than the loon I'd had previously), paid him another year's bonus, and got him to work. We filed a counterclaim accusing her of contempt of court by failing to abide by the letter of the original agreement.
They countered with the only thing they could've - and the thing I was hoping they wouldn't: A contempt charge of their own for failure to pay support.
See, this loon I'd hired previously had assured me that the court would set up a garnishment schedule for the child support. Naturally - maybe this is the good ol' boy system, or just sheer incompetence on their part - the court never set it up.
As a result, Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme never got a penny from me. So yes - they had a case. Marginally. But it was a case, by the letter of the law.
This put me in the position of very likely being found in contempt of court, put on probation, forced to check in with a probation officer every month (and pay a $40 fee for the "privilege")...and, were I to miss checking in or paying the fee by so much as one day, a warrant could be issued for my arrest.
By this time, I'm making plans to marry the Lady Spatula and possibly move to Miami. Therefore, I can't have this hanging over my head. And I'll be damned if I was going to let Her Bitchiness control me in this fashion.
With that in mind, my attorney recommended - and I was forced to agree - to deploy what I call the "nuclear option". It's so-called because it's the option no one wants to see deployed, since it blows up everything.
The option: Complete termination of all parental rights to Skip. Meaning, I would no longer have any say in his upbringing, nor rights to see him any more...nor would I owe any child support, back or future.
My attorney explained it this way: All that it amounts to is just a sheet of paper. And whether I had rights to my son or not, Her Doublewideness would have him most of the time, and she & her family would constantly be poisoning his mind against me. This way, the bitch would lose her control over my life - and, after a few years, if he wanted to seek me out, she would be powerless to stop him, and I could then tell him my side of the story.
I deliberated for about half a nanosecond.
"Do it", I said.
Termination - which the aforementioned loon in Forney, TX said I couldn't possibly get - was granted March 30th.
So that's it, guys. The bitch finally accomplished her objective - she forcibly extracted me from his life.
And it's gotten to the point where I can't even send him presents or cards any longer. They have become so fucking small-minded that Her Doublewideness' fat-assed son-of-a-bitch daddy is even refusing to accept the presents I send to him.
No doubt the lot of 'em will lie to my son like they usually do and say that I don't even care about him enough to send him so much as a card. It's what I've come to expect from a bunch of country hick-asses who were willing to lie to a judge and violate other Texas laws to get such a simple thing as a divorce.
Enjoy him now, O Fat-Assed One. You'll have a helluva lot to answer for down the road - and not just with him when he grows up, either.
Chew on that for a while, bitch.
Anyway, happy birthday, Skip. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to enjoy the presents I've tried to send you. Someday - when they can't dictate to you where you can go and whom you can meet - I'll get to at least give you some of them.
Always remember son - I love you. And I will, forever.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 12, 2007
FB to illegal aliens: Go the fuck home!!!
Organized opposition to Farmers Branch City Ordinance 2903 - i.e, the one forbidding landlords to rent to illegal aliens - called themselves "Let The Voters Decide".
Well, today they decided.
Overwhelmingly.
In favor of the ordinance.
So whaddya think the pro-illegal alien pussies are going to do?
Why, file a lawsuit and try to overturn the election, of course.
Opponents, who outspent supporters of the ordinance more than 7-1 during the campaign, vowed renewed court challenges this week seeking injunctions against enforcement.
Liberal bastards. Once again, their modus operandi is crystal clear - go through the courts to get what they can't get at the polls. They don't give a flying fuck about democracy. They don't give a good god's damn about letting the voters decide. Fucking socialist erase-the-borders, destroy-our-sovereignty faggots think they know better what's best for us than we do ourselves.
IYAM, every last one of them should be taken out and properly ventilated, if you know what I mean. And that include the motherfucking sons-of-bitches who go and file the lawsuits on Monday.
F.E.J.F.E. 
UPDATE: And to the fine folks in Farmers Branch - good on ya. I'll be spending my money there whenever I can.
Except, of course, in those places run by assclowns who want more illegal immigration, rather than less.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 11, 2007
Reading assignment
Denizens, your weekend assignment is to read this.
I have one belief to add to what Pam said: I believe that, in order to save the United States of America, the Left in this country will - at some point - have to be taken out. And unless they straighten up their act, it'll have to be soon, or it'll be too late for us.
Now, you have reading to do. Go. Shoo.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 10, 2007
Memo to RINOs: Take your "support", turn it sideways...
So here are these 11 RINOs, "warning" President Bush that either things in Iraq improve quickly or else he'll lose their support.
My question: What fucking support?
Do these 11 RINO bastards think we haven't been watching them as they cozy up to and suck the dicks of the Demoscum on whose leashes they reside? Do they honestly think that we haven't seen them backhand the Administration at every turn?
The delegation, headed by Mark Kirk of Illinois and Charles Dent of Pennsylvania, told Bush: "We need candor. We need honesty," and that the White House had lost its credibility on the war, NBC reported.
Yeah, and here's what the right-thinking people of the United States need from you, you son of a bitch: Shut the fuck up and give the President more support against the traitorous pussies of the Demoscum Party. And either keep your own fucking counsel when it comes to this war, or offer it to the President whilst out of earshot of treasonous pondscum like the NY Slimes.
Otherwise, you may find that when you need our support, it's nowhere to be found, and the Watering Can™ might just be dumped all over you.
If you know what I mean.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 09, 2007
Truth: Void where prohibited - even in baseball
Once again, it's time for my favorite pet peeve - the lily-livered limp-wristed pussy who speake the truth on a controversial topic one day, only to apologize for it & take it back the next.
Today's contestant: Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling.
I'd actually had a fairly healthy respect for the man, especially after the 2005 season when he gutted out an injured & bloody ankle in the League Championship Series against the Damn Yankees™. And even though he regularly embarasses the Texass stRangers (then again, who doesn't nowadays?), he'd never done anything to piss me off.
Until now.
Item: Schilling ripped steroid home-run king Barry Bonds yesterday during a radio interview:
"I mean, he admitted that he used steroids," Schilling said during his weekly appearance on sports radio WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" show. "I mean, there's no gray area. He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game, so I think the reaction around the league, the game, being what it is, in the case of what people think. Hank Aaron not being there. The commissioner [Bud Selig] trying to figure out where to be. It's sad."And I don't care that he's black, or green, or purple, or yellow, or whatever. It's unfortunate … there's good people and bad people. It's unfortunate that it's happening the way it's happening."
So what heppened today? Al Sharpton & the Rrrrrrrrrrrrevrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'd Jaaaack's'nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn must've gotten to him, because he backed off effin' big-time today:
"Everyone has days and events in life they'd love to push the rewind button on, yesterday was one of those days," Schilling wrote on his Web site, 38pitches.com. "Regardless of my opinions, thoughts and beliefs on anything Barry Bonds it was absolutely irresponsible and wrong to say what I did. I don't think it's within anyone's right to say the things I said yesterday and affect other peoples [sic] lives in that way."... As someone who's made it very clear I have major issues with members of the media that take little or no pride in their work it's the height of hypocrisy for me to say what I did, in any forum," he wrote. "I started this blog to give people a look into the life we live on and off the field, not to get into back and forths with people I don't like or have issues with. Doing that will only make this a rant filled no content bunch of words.
"... It was a callous, wreckless [sic] and irresponsible thing to say, and for that I apologize to Barry, Barry's family, Barry's friends and the Giants organization, my teammates and the Red Sox organization as well as anyone else that may have been offended by the comments I made," he wrote.
No, Curtie, ol' fellow, it was the fucking truth, and had you stuck by your guns, you'd have gained a helluva lot more fans than you lost today.
But then, Barry's black, and you're white, and, well...you just can't say things about a black man when you're white. Cardinal sin, y'know. Never mind that what you said was 100% absolutely true - MLB's trying to reach out to the black community, y'see, and they just can't have an ambassador of theirs speaking the truth about one of the black community's icons. Isn't politically correct, y'know.
ESAD, Schilling. Y'just lost me.
F.E.J.F.E. 
Posted by sgc284 at 10:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 08, 2007
Couldn't pay me to vote for him now
(Hat tip Emperor Misha, as usual.)
And here I was thinking I might actually not mind holding my nose too much while voting for Giuliani in '08.
Then I find out that Rudy donated six times to the largest abortion provider in America. This despite claiming that he "personally abhors" abortion.
G'night, Rudy. And g'night GOP - unless Fred Thompson runs.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:24 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 05, 2007
Memo to the Doublewide Bitch Supreme™
Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager, front & center.
I've just finished sending Skip's present to him, care of you and that fat-assed son-of-a-bitch you call a father.
Try not to be complete asses this time and let my son have his present, okay?
Thatisall™.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 01, 2007
Comments, we post comments...!
Those of you who know me well know that I can barely stand baseball. And that's because down the road in Beautiful Downtown BumfuckingEgypt™ (hereinafter known as Arlington), we have a half-assed excuse-for-a-franchise known as the Texass stRangers - a motley crew of also-rans, has-beens, never-weres and never-gonna-bes, interspersed with the occasional superstar.
Anyway, the Dullest Moaning Snooze maintains a blog about this Mickey-Mouse outfit, and I've become a regular participant thereupon. The topic turned today towards owner Tom "Country Bumpkin" Hicks' other folly, FC Liverpool - that's right, a soccer club. One for which he paid a handsome $250 extra-extra-extra-large, while pissing and moaning about how the bidding war for star free-agent pitcher Barry Zito was just too damned high.
So now, while the Damn Yankees™ were thoroughly embarrasing Our Anti-Heroes™ 10-1 tonight (on a two-hitter thrown mostly by a rookie pitcher, no less), here came someone named "Brad" running to Country Bumpkin's rescue:
I simply don't see the correlation between Hicks' two investments. I continue to hear whiners complain about Hicks purchasing Liverpool. Considering its worth is more than my beloved Rangers, I have to say he has made a great deal. Somehow Cuban can run his HDTV business and the Mavs and get no criticism from Mavs fans. The truth is, soccer haters just want to voice an unintelligent opinion. I love the Rangers and I love soccer, nothing wrong with me or Tom Hicks having both interests.
Now, it's not feasible to fisk on this blog (and besides, it likely wouldn't get posted anyway), so I let the dumbass have it with both barrels in one shot:
Those of us wondering how much worse it can get for this franchise should thank our Deity of choice that Brad doesn't own the team. 'Cause were that the case, it'd definitely be worse.Really, Brad, as long as you get your fruity drink with the umbrella therein, what do you care that the Rangers would have trouble with TCU?
Here's the correlation, Brad (and I'll try to keep it to words of one syllable): If Tom Hicks had $$$$ to buy Liverpool, why didn't he have it to pursue quality starting pitching? And not just Zito this year, but Schmidt a couple years ago, not to mention Mulder, Martinez, Clemens (back when he could at least go an entire season), Pettite, Oswalt, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam???? I mean, if JD is going to trade away every prospect that spent as much as a cup o' Joe in our farm system, the least Hickboy could do is purchase a pitching staff that didn't embarrass him on a nightly basis. Is that too much to ask?
(Incidentally, no one crticizes Cuban because Cuban is willing to put his money where his mouth is. Strange concept for you, I know.)
But go on sipping that fruity drink at the soccer match, Bradley - while us so-called "whiners" continue to voice our displeasure at crappy baseball.
Proving, of course, that I haven't lost it when I get the urge to rant. 
Posted by sgc284 at 11:11 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack