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August 22, 2007
(More) old comments, we get (more) old comments...!!!
Okay, boyz & girlz, it's time once again to play His Rudeness' 17th-favorite game, "Rip A New One For The Jackass Who Posted A Comment In An Old Thread"!!! (And no, I still haven't found the list of the first 16.)
MERLIN: Are you ever gonna find that list, m'Liege?
LSIK&T: Got McManx looking for it even as we speak.
[Five-second cut scene: an orange-brown-white-ish planet somewhere in the Badlands - a planet which, if it weren't in the Badlands, might be mistaken for Gothos. Zooming in to the surface, we find Cadet T-Bone McManx on his knees, filter mask on his face, a tube connected thereto which supplies him with a not-quite-sparse-but-dwindling supply of oxygen.]
OZY MCCOOL: What did he ever do to you, m'Lord?
LSIK&T: It was either him or you, and you outrank him.
[McCool immediately leaps to the floor and begins kissing Spats' steel-toed boot.]
LSIK&T: That's enough, Ozy.
KORRIOTH: So who's our lucky contestant today, Admiral?
LSIK&T: We got us a jerkface from what looks like San Antonio, some dipshit named "rmontero"
KORRIOTH: Good Gawd™, another e.e.cummings wannabe...?
LSIK&T: Oh, you'd like this one, Korr. He whines.
[Korrioth bares his teeth & snarls fiercely.]
LSIK&T: Exactly.
Anyway, here's this "rmontero" character, ostensibly from San Antonio, and he's bitching about what I said about Tammy Faye.
MERLIN: Actually, Your Rudeness™, I think he might've been objecting to what you said about Jim.
LSIK&T: What, that he single-handedly destroyed his own empire?
OZY MCCOOL: Or maybe "single-dickedly" is what raised his tutu.
ALL: (howls of laughter)
LSIK&T: Okay, McCool, you're now a Lieutenant (j.g.)
OZY MCCOOL: (bows) Thank you, sir.
LSIK&T: Awright, where were we...?
You are so sad!
No, actually I'm pretty happy nowadays.
MERLIN: What about that deal with...
LSIK&T: Shh.
MERLIN: But...
LSIK&T: (shoots a very irritated look towards Merlin.)
MERLIN: (ulp!)
You like to throw stones?
KORRIOTH: Actually, he likes to throw fists.
LSIK&T: Actually, to a weenie like this guy, they'd probably feel like stones.
KORRIOTH: Point.
You like to be heard
OZY MCCOOL: Actually, he likes to be read.
LSIK&T: Well, that is why I do this.
MERLIN: You'd think that'd be obvious to him.
LSIK&T: About as obvious as knowing when a post is still on the front page?
MERLIN: Point.
and the only way anyONE reads your filth
MERLIN: AnyONE?
OZY MCCOOL: Not anyTWO?
THE SPATULAGODDESS™: Or anyTHREE, even.
LSIK&T: Hi, sweetheart!!! (hugs) How's the move?
THE SPATULAGODDESS™: We're pretty much in. Are you gonna be online the same time I am anytime soon?
LSIK&T: (hangs head in shame) Sorry. Guilty as charged.
THE SPATULAGODDESS™: That's okay, hon. (kisses His Rudeness™ on the cheek, then disappears)
KORRIOTH: (shakes head) What is it with you and women, anyway?
LSIK&T: It helps to not have a ridged forehead.
(Korrioth gives Spats his own vicious glare. Spats just snickers. 
)
is if you print filth.
KORRIOTH: Maybe he's referring to the fact that you mentioned Der Kaiser™.
LSIK&T: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...could be? 
You should be ashamed and look in the mirror spider brains
KORRIOTH: Aw, look. He even signed it!
MERLIN: You're starting to attract a different class of troll, m'Liege.
LSIK&T: Oh, thanks, Wizard. Now I'm gonna be up half the night wondering if that was a compliment...
MERLIN:
Oh, and "rmontero": Fuck off, jackass. Try staying on the front page next time. 
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at August 22, 2007 03:01 PM
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