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October 29, 2007
PFW: Could get interesting on the Hilltop
To call it a PFW or not to call it a PFW? That is the question.
at UBuffalo 26, Akron 10
Turner Gill's influence is starting to show up in Drew Willy's performance. Willy had three touchdown passes in leading the Bulls over the Zips, stopping an eight-year losing streak in the process and - gasp! - remaining unbeaten in the MAC East race.
This could be a stepping stone to bigger & better things for our Mr. Gill. Yesterday afternoon, SMUT decided not to postpone the inevitable and fired Phil Bennett's ass. Gill could be considered a candidate - he's got local ties and that Nebraska track record.
It will, of course, mean that I actively track an Anti-Team™ next year, but what the Hell™, eh?
This week: 1-0 (PFW achieved (yeah, it counts)). Overall: 35-12
The PFW will crank up the warp engines again on Friday - and hope we don't go into a time warp in the process.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 28, 2007
Any questions?
This is your brain.
This is your brain on Ketel One vodka.
Any questions?
Posted by sgc284 at 09:53 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
October 26, 2007
PFW: All I really need is a COUPLE DAYS OFF...!!! -Huey Lewis
[Scene: the bridge of Pegasus. Everybody, and I do mean everybody, is lounging around, looking bored out of their skulls.]
LSIK&T: Check the schedule again, McCool.
OZY MCCOOL: M'Liege, I've already checked it 14...
[His Rudeness' Klingon-Vulcan hybrid XO, Korrioth, backhands Ozymandias McCool, sending him spinning & sprawling to the deck.]
KORRIOTH: Check it again, Lieutenant Whelp.
OZY MCCOOL (groggily): Uh...confirmed Captain...m'Lord: The University of Buffalo is the only PFW team playing this week.
MERLIN: Akron is playing the Bulls at Buffalo. Turner Gill's bunch is a one-point favorite.
LSIK&T: And that's it???
MERLIN: Yes, m'Lord. Heights, TCU, Oklahoma, LSU and the Cowboys are all off this weekend.
LSIK&T: Great Honkin' Cthulu™.
T-BONE MCMANX: Hey, m'Liege, you could go off for a weekend with the Dockmistress™.
LSIK&T (eyeing Merlin warily): I thought I told you to tell the bridge crew about that.
MERLIN (looking panicked): Uh...sorry, Your Snarlyness, I confess that it slipped my mind...
[A look of realization hits Merlin's face, as if suddenly remembering something very important. The look is not missed by the King & Tyrant™.]
LSIK&T: Merlin? She's still there, isn't she? They're both still there, aren't they?!?!?!
MERLIN: (gulp!!!)
LSIK&T: (sigh) I'd commend you for the torture, Wizard, but I wanted to be rid of this problem a long time ago.
MERLIN (hangs head in shame): Yes, m'Lord.
LSIK&T: Awright, everyone. To the airlock.
(To be continued...)
Okay, guys, I'll be back Sunday - or hell, maybe even Saturday night - for the recap of the ONE GAME ON THE PFW SCHEDULE THIS WEEKEND...!!!1~
In the meantime - has anyone seen the Humble DevilDog???
Posted by sgc284 at 02:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 24, 2007
Like their what????
[Scene: aboard the bridge of Pegasus. His Rudeness™ is quietly seated in his command chair, focused intently (or pretending to be) on the latest engineering reports furnished him by Ozymandias McCool. T-Bone McManx is busily upgrading a few circuits in the communications console. Tactical officer K'hadibak'h amuses himself with a miniature holo-Nintendo game of anbo-jitsu. Various other technicians & bridge personnel are intent on their tasks around the bridge.
Without warning, the turbolife doors explode outward with a huge CRASH, causing everyone to jump three feet in the air. Lord Spatula & K'hadibak'h have whirled around, weapons at the ready - K'ha with a disruptor, Spats with the purple lightsaber given to him by his friend and next-door-system neighbor, Emperor Misha.
Standing in what used to be the turbolift doorway is His Rudeness' executive officer, Korrioth. Needless to say, the Klingon-Vulcan hybrid is not terribly happy at the moment.]
KORRIOTH: So help me Fec'lar, I will KILL the human p'tahk who wrote this targ shit!!!!
LSIK&T (looking around kinda nervously - the last time Korrioth was this angry, it cost Spats half the engineering crew): Uh, Kor? What's the problem, before you rip a hole in my ship and send us all into space?
KORRIOTH: HAVE YOU READ THIS?!?!?!?!
Beings from other worlds have excited the popular imagination since the Bronze Age: Both The Old Testament and the Sanskrit epics describe strange beings coming to Earth in flying machines.
LSIK&T: Well, I rather doubt that about the Old Testament, but that's no reason...
KORRIOTH: FURTHER DOWN!!!!
40: Ming The MercilessAlthough doomed to be regularly trounced by Flash Gordon, Sir Menzies Campbell is not a suspiciously Asiatic-looking alien warlord. That distinction falls to Ming the Merciless, villain of King Features’ long running Flash Gordon franchise which has spanned cinema serials, comics, and a superbly scored feature film. His appearance has become markedly more reptilian and less evidently racist in recent adaptations, but he remains the number one extraterrestrial emperor.
LSIK&T: Well, obviously he's never met Misha...
OZY MCCOOL: Or Palpatine for that matter...
[Korrioth sends McCool flying across the bridge with a solid backhand.]
KORRIOTH: FURTHER!!!!!
39: The VisitorsThe antagonists in the successful miniseries ‘V’ and its spinoffs were mouse-eating reptiles who visited Earth cunningly disguised as humans in order to lull mankind into a sense of misplaced camaraderie. Once the deception was discovered an armed resistance to the newcomers was formed, which was just as well as it transpired later in the series that the mice were merely an appetiser and we were the main course. Proof, if proof were needed, that people who look like lizards can’t be trusted.
LSIK&T: Actually, I always thought Jane Badler was kinda hawt...
[Korrioth has strode over to where Spats is standing. His Rudeness™ very nearly cringes.]
KORRIOTH: FUR!!! THER!!! DOWN!!!!!!
LSIK&T: Hmmm...lessee...Romulans...Chigs, whoever they are...Cylons...Smash Robots...Klingons...Kor, why doesn't this make you happy? They think you're a hotter commodity than the Romulans, after all.
KORRIOTH: REEEEEEEAD IT, DAAAAAAAAAMITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!
31: KlingonsLike their cousins the Romulans, the Klingons
LSIK&T: Uh, oh.
OZY MCCOOL: Enlightenment dawns.
T-BONE MCMANX: I get it now.
KORRIOTH: K'HADIBAK'H!!!!! SET COURSE FOR EARTH!!!! MAXIMUM WARP!!!!!
[K'hadibak'h glances at Lord Spatula, unable to hide the pleading in his face - he's Klingon, as well, and he's suffering just like Korrioth, probably worse.]
LSIK&T: You heard the Klingon, Kha. We're going hunting.
And so it was that a certain gaggle of reporters & reporter-ettes located on a certain island-country in the Atlantic Ocean met their end some hours later at the hands of two very pissed-off Klingons and their custom-crafted-at-Kronos painsticks. And there was much screaming, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. And two particular Klingons enjoyed every last nanosecond of it.
The moral of the story: Never tell a Klingon he's related to a Romulan. Never. 
Posted by sgc284 at 08:17 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 22, 2007
PFW: Can we please fire Patterson now???
Last week, I speculated on the possibility of Tom Osborne tapping Bo Pelini to be the new Nebraska Cornhusker head coach, once the requisite firing of Bill Callahan takes place.
He could do me a bigger favor by taking Gary Patterson off TCU's hands.
Arlington Heights 30, at O.D. Wyatt 49
at Texas Christian 20, Utah 27
UBuffalo 12, at Syracuse 20 (Buffalo covers)
Oklahoma 17, at Iowa State 7
at LSU 30, Auburn 24
at Dallas 24,BridgeFallDownGoBoomVilleMinnesota 14
TCU's 2nd-half meltdown proclivities have migrated over to Arlington Heights.
Leading 24-21 at half, Heights gave up three third-quarter touchdowns in being outscored in the second half 28-6. Heights has probably won its last game under Coach Duke Christian, and he can't be gone too soon for my tastes.
...
Drew Willy is becoming a pretty good quarterback in the UBuffalo system. Once he gets a running game, the Bulls will have a little sum'pin-sum'pin'.
The difference in the game Saturday was that Syracuse ran the ball - UBuffalo didn't. Syracuse had 179 rushing yards to the Bulls' 73. The Bulls even intercepted Orange quarterback Andrew Robinson a couple of times, but the lack of a ground game doomed them.
...
Oklahoma was pancake-flat after beating Missouri. Iowa State was embarrassed as hell after getting stomped by Texas. Put the two together and you almost had yet another major upset (and what would have been OU's second this season) in college football. The Cyclones led, 7-0, at halftime, and were dominating the Sooners.
Fortunately, OU woke up somewhat in the second half, shut ISU down and reserve running back Chris Brown ran for a couple of touchdowns. A DJ Wolfe interception ended the Cyclone threat for the day.
...
Call 'em the Cardiac Cats.
Down 24-23, Les Miles went for it on fourth down when the easy thing to do would have been a Colt David field-goal attempt to win the game. Matt Flynn lobbed a 22-yard fade to Demetrius Byrd with :02 left in the game, despite having a timeout left with which he could have set up the field goal try.
With time expiring on LSU's national title hopes, Byrd wanted a chance to beat the lone defender on his side of the field."Then I got in the huddle and that was the play call, and I knew I just had to go out there and make a play on it," Byrd said.
Les, can I have those lottery numbers now?
...
In like fashion to the Sooners, the Cowboys also sleepwalked through the first half. The Vikings recovered a Patrick Crayton fumble and proceeded to play Harlem Globetrotters with it, doing a lateral and a dribble-fumble on the return before lumbering into the end zone with the ball. A Romo fumble would have gone for a touchdown as well, save for a Minnesota penalty.
But Chris Canty blocked a Ryan Longwell field goal attempt during the third quarter, and Patrick Watkins returned it 68 yards for a touchdown - the first Dallas sequence like that in 24 years.
OU alum Adrian Peterson's old Sooner bugaboo, the fumble, reared its ugly head in the fourth quarter. Jason Hatcher recovered for the C'boys, and the offense converted it into a Nick Folk field goal for the final margin. Dallas did also engineer a first-possession touchdown drive for the first time in the Romo era (17 games).
...
Memo to Gary Patterson: You have a piece of shit team.
You have a shitty quarterback.
You have a shitty offensive line.
You have shitty receivers that can't catch the God-forsaken ball.
You have shitty running backs that either can't run away from defenders, or can't hang onto the fuckin' ball. (And yes, I include Aaron Brown in that group.)
You're so &*@%$&!!! in love with that shitty little 4-2-5 defense, that even when a team where the smallest offensive lineman runs 305 plows your ass over, you have to fucking stay married to it instead of adding in a fifth lineman to clog up running lanes. Then you wonder why you get your ass run through all fucking game.
You have a Swiss-cheese secondary that couldn't cover me.
You have an excuse-for-a-kicker who's worse than the one you had last year - and he was a piece of shit. The one you have now can't even make a fucking field goal from 22 fucking yards.
You have a shithead for an offensive coordinator who can't pull his head out of his ass long enough to figure out when he needs to run and when he needs to pass.
You have a country bumpkin excuse-for-a-defensive coordinator.
You yourself can't coach your way out of a fuckin' sack made from eggshell paper.
And your recruiting sucks so badly that you didn't have a sufficiently experienced quarterback to take the place of a graduating Jeff Ballard.
The $64 million question is, therefore, "Why the fuckin' hell are you still here?"
Utah took the opening kickoff and shoved it down the Frogs' throat for a 7-0 lead. And did so with the same fucking play they ran all night...the same play every fucking team uses to move the ball on the Frogs - the @%(@!!%(@@ zone read. Running back stands next to the quarterback; QB takes the snap and plants the ball in the RB's gut - then reads the defense and either pulls the ball out or lets the back go find a hole that's pretty much always there. And instead of throwing a run blitz at them or trying to get upfield pressure, you just let the damned back just crank out seven, eight yards a pop. The Shitland Ponies of SMUT used it two years ago to beat TCU in Dallas, and every team has been using it to gash the Frogs ever since.
After an exchange of three-and-outs, Andy Dalton went back to doing what Andy Dalton does best - throwing interceptions. He threw four tonight, one of which was a pick-six. Which just happened to be the difference in the game.
Darrell Mack gashed the Tadpoles for 100 yards. Teams seem to be doing that more and more on the Frogs - even SMUT's DeMyron Martin hung a hundred on them during their 21-7 win over the Shitland Ponies.
Hmmmm. He might just fit in Nebraska, after all.
This week: 4-2. Overall: 34-12.
The PFW will return Friday, when I channel Huey Lewis and guarantee that TCU doesn't lose next week.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 19, 2007
Free speech: Void where prohibited by the Irreligious Left
The Department of Same Song, 16,572nd Verse™ shows us the latest leftard attempt to silence conservatives. This time, it's the so-called "Interfaith Alliance" trying to shut up the pastor of First Baptist Church, Dallas, for daring to suggest that Mormons in general - and GOP presidential pretender Mitt Romney in general - aren't Christians.
Which, as it so happens, is true.
Look. Jesus Himself said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father but by Me. (emphasis added) It is faith in Him, and nothing else, that will get a person into Heaven.
But the Mormons don't believe that. They believe that it's not Christ who determines who gets to the Father, but Joseph Smith. This runs directly counter to what Christ said, and in essence calls Christ a liar.
Mainstream Christianity, particularly the Southern Baptists (of which I am one) have held to this for the entirety of our existence. So when Robert Jeffress of FBC Dallas tells his congregation that Mitt the Mormon isn't a Christian, he's not exactly dropping a bombshell on anyone, y'know?
But apparently when he tells the Dullest Moaning Snooze that he thinks it's important to elect a Christian president - welllllll, we can just toss his First Amendment rights out the window, can't we?
So thinks the "so-called" Interfaith Alliance - and I say "so-called" because I'm not sure who or what these jackasses have faith in, but it's not the God of the Bible - or His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Pastor Crosses Line In Criticizing Romney Interfaith Alliance Says Sermon Could Spark IRS Investigation
Translation: If you don't shut up, you fascist preacher pig, we'll shut you up by sicc'ing the gubmint on you, y'hee-ah?
Washington, DC – The Interfaith Alliance criticized Pastor Robert Jeffress of the First Baptist Church of Dallas for a September 30 sermon in which he told his congregation that former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney "is not a Christian." This indictment of a presidential candidate's faith is not only morally irresponsible, it raises the possibility of legal action for illegal campaign intervention, The Interfaith Alliance warns.
All hail The INTERFAITH ALLIANCE!!! The Ultimate Arbiter™ of all our free speech rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution!!! They and THEY ALONE can determine who can speak about who's a Christian and who isn't!
Sieg Heil All Hail!!!
(Actually, this screed of theirs does sound better in the original German.)
While Pastor Jeffress claims in his sermon that "I'm neither for nor against Mitt Romney," he then told the Dallas Morning News that it is important to elect a Christian president. By classifying Mitt Romney as a non-Christian, Jeffress is attempting to tell his congregants not to vote for Romney.
He's doing no such thing, you Bitching Batch of Bombastic Buffoons™. The sermon and the DMN interview were clearly separate, and Jeffress was obviously speaking as a civilian in the News interview.
Besides, Jeffress wasn't exactly telling his congregation something that they didn't already know. Mittens isn't a Christian, by definition.
So let's get your panties out of their bunch before you go threatening to sic the IRS on him, mkay?
"The Internal Revenue Service has made it clear that houses of worship put their tax-exempt status at risk when religious leaders express support or opposition to political candidates," said Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, President of The Interfaith Alliance.
Oops. Too late. Gaddy dropped trou and showed his lame ass.
Y'know, Weldie baby, I'm sure the IRS has far more things on its collective plate than chasing after every boogeyman that some leftist twit like you cries is under his bed.
Shouldn't you, y'know, be working trying to, um, I dunno - save souls or sum'pin'?
"Just as a pastor can't tell his congregants whom to vote for, a pastor cannot tell his congregants whom not to vote for."
Yes, I'm sure all the mind-numbed robots of FBC Dallas are going to go out a la "Night of the Living Dead" and try to lobotomize Romney. 
In recent years, the IRS has increased the number investigations of political campaign intervention by houses of worship. But an even greater principle is at stake, claims The Interfaith Alliance.
Oh, yes - there's always a "greater principle" at stake. Usually, it's "Our liberal candidate can't get elected 'cause of those fascist Fundies!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!"
"Religious leaders compromise their moral authority when attempt to use their influence to direct the electoral decisions of their congregants," said Rev. Gaddy.
Gaddy, you dumbshit, "religious leaders", as you call them, do no such fucking thing. They rightly caution their flock against voting for someone who may not share their values & beliefs. Rather than "compromis[ing] their moral authority", said leaders are actually discharging their Scriptural duty.
Yes, that sticks in your craw, seeing as it usually means that your beloved Demoscum candidates don't get elected - but I figure that's your problem, not mine.
"Pastor Jeffress is attempting to tell his congregants that they are not good Baptists if they vote for Mitt Romney
As if we didn't already know that, buttmunch? You sound just like the Wrong Reverend Barry Lynn - is there something you need to be telling us, moron?
which is both arrogant and unfair."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! UNCA SUGAR!!!!! MAKE HIM STOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"
Fuckheads.
Posted by sgc284 at 05:49 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
October 18, 2007
PFW: In memoriam, and other ellipsi... (UPDATED)
We start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ by noting that former Cowboy running back Ron Springs is on life support and near death (in fact, earlier reports on Yahoo! News had indicated he was already brain-dead).
The PFW, and I suspect the entire Cowboy and Redskin Nation (cornerback Shawn Springs is Ron's son) mourns the impending death of this fierce NFL warrior and fine man. Ron Springs will be missed.
Next, we note with more than a little bit of anticipation that the University of Nebraska fired athetic director Steve Pedersen on Monday after the worst home loss in nearly 50 years.
Pedersen, as you'll recall, is the one who gave the Husker Nation the "greatness" (cough) of Bill Callahan - this when both Turner Gill and Bo Pelini were angling for the gig.
Now granted, Turner hasn't burned up Division 1-A with the UBuffalo program, but he is making a bit of progress - he's 3-1 in conference play, and reports indicate they're starting to play a little better.
Former Husker head coach Tom Osborne is taking over temporarily as AD - and the hope from here is that it's permanent.
Memo to Tom: Hire Bo or Turner, and all will be forgiven. Hell, I'll even make Nebraska a PFW team again.
KORRIOTH: Wow, what overwhelming, irresistible incentive.
LSIK&T: Oh, hush, Bumpy.
KORRIOTH: (chuckle)
Alright, let's get to it. We're doing this early because the Texas Christian Horned Frogs are at home tonight in Mountain West Conference play against the Utah Utes - or, as the more smart-assed among us like to call them, the Oo-taw Ootes.
Now, the Froggies are 4-3, but they're 1-2 in conference. This game will go a long way towards determining where - or if - they go to a bowl this year.
Also tomorrow night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets will seek to get a measure of revenge against the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals. Wyatt won last year's game 20-17, so I'll go out on a limb and predict a squash for Heights. Not.
Speaking of Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls, Saturday they travel to Syracuse to take on The Second-Ugliest Uniforms In College Football™, aka the Orangemen. Syracuse simply does not believe in putting any white on their home unis - orange jerseys are trimmed in blue numbers. (Believe it or not, they actually looked better in Donna McNabb's day.) The line is actually Syracuse by 4 - memo to Turner: see what a couple of wins will do for a program? 
You gotta feel for Iowa State. On the heels of getting smashed by TU...here comes fifth-ranked Oklahoma. So help me Cthulu, Sam Bradford is licking his chops. The OU offense gets well this week - look for them to hang 60 on the Cyclones.
Things don't get any easier for the fourth-ranked LSU Tigers (SIDE NOTE: I am pleased that the pollsters apparently realized that the Ken-Fucky loss wasn't their fault), as they host 17th-ranked Auburn. But I absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it guarantee that the Tigers will win.
MERLIN: Boo.
KORRIOTH: Hiss.
OZY MCCOOL: We don't get paid enough for these puns.
KORRIOTH: For once, I'm in complete agreement with you, Ozy.
OZY MCCOOL (looking shocked - Korrioth's never called him by name before): Uh...thank you, Captain.
LSIK&T: Look, guys, is it my fault that both their mascots are Tigers?
MERLIN: No, but it's your fault that you have to be so damned corny about it.
LSIK&T: Aaaaah, go fly a kite.
MERLIN: In space?
LSIK&T: What-ever.
Anyway, LSU's favored by 11, but I don't trust that line. Especially if Doucet doesn't play.
UPDATE: According to Holly Rowe of ESPN, Doucet is healthy and will start.
Sunday, the Dallas Cowboys are at home for a return engagement against the Minnehaha Minnesota Vikings. This may be a bad time to be catching the Purple & Yellow, as former OU running back Adrian Peterson seems to have found his next gear (he put up a ton of yardage agaisnt the Bears last week). The Vikings don't have a pass defense, though, so look for Romo to go nutzoid - around the second half, as usual.
We'll try to be back Monday for the recap, but it may be as late as Tuesday. In the meantime...is Bucky ever gonna win another game, Humble DevilDog???
Posted by sgc284 at 07:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 16, 2007
Another chickenshit enters the fray...
Denizens, we have ourselves a new contestant in the "Mykki Chickenshit's Dick-Sucking Sycophant Sweepstakes"!
And he's the Empire's Imperial Tech Wizard, David J. Allyn!!!!!
First, a little background: I'm handing the little Communist his ass on a platter, partially due to the fact that he keeps insulting the intelligence of the President of the United States - who has business degrees from both Harvard & Yale - while he himself could only manage a couple of bachelor's and a master's from diploma mills like Seattle University (Seattle University? What'd he major in? Brewing coffee?) and UC Berzerkely (Great Honkin' Cthulu™, why would any sane person admit to having a degree from there???)
MERLIN: This is a Communist sympathizer about whom you speak, m'Liege.
LSIK&T: Point.
KORRIOTH: Wait a minute. Aren't you yourself the proud owner of merely a high-school diploma?
LSIK&T: Yeah, so?
KORRIOTH: I've seen some of these exchanges. His spelling's on par with that of the Doublewide Bitch Supreme's is it not?
LSIK&T: Probably a little worse, truth be told.
OZY MCCOOL: So while he's trying to beat people about the head & shoulders for their lack of intelligence, he's getting out-spelled by a high-school grad?!?!?!
ALL: 
Anyway, he lost control and attempted to post a Photoshopped picture of me on the Rott. Natually, the pissant did so without my permission.
MERLIN: A faux pas, as it were.
LSIK&T: Exactamundo, Wizard.
OZY MCCOOL: You can't be serious! He had to have known you wouldn't stand for that!
KORRIOTH: This is a leftist about whom we speak, Lieutenant. Have you ever known one to have so much as a lick of common sense?
OZY MCCOOL: Point.
Plus, the fuckhead also posted the links of Mykki Chickenshit's dick-sucking sycophant suckweasels.
MERLIN: Another faux pas.
LSIK&T: Quite. And I gave him the expected response.
KORRIOTH: You trashed the post.
LSIK&T: Partially. I left enough of it intact so that I couldn't be accused of deleting comments without authorization.
KORRIOTH: Very sneaky, m'Lord.
LSIK&T: Thank you! 
Anyway, Allyn did what any liberal is wont to do - he pissed, moaned and threw a hissy fit.
KORRIOTH: Typical.
T-BONE MCMANX: Not terribly surprising.
MERLIN: 
LSIK&T: Yeah, Wizard, I know what you mean.
Anyway, he left us with the parting shot linked above, which we'll now happily fisk here.
I certainly have. He proved all of my points — even if he deleted half of them.
The only point you have, dumbass, is right there on top of your head. It's a foregone conclusion that, had you not been the person charged with the task of maintaining the Rottweiler site, your skanky ass would have been dumped a long time ago. And only that and your friendship with Misha prevented me from doing a helluva lot more to you there than I did.
I would insist that Misha let him keep his access here — because every time he removes someone’s comment, it means that person automatically proved his or her point and that Spats is nothing more than a poor loser who has to cheat to win an argument.
This from a lame-assed liberal prick who knowingly violated Misha's rule about posting other people's personal information (yes, pictures count as that, too - if you don't believe me, assmunch, try posting pictures of the Royal Heirs™ on his site and see what he does), and he bitches about me cheating?
KORRIOTH: Bah.
OZY MCCOOL: Laughable.
MERLIN: Hypocrisy much?
T-BONE MCMANX: Sure his name isn't Dumbass Jackoff?
I posted nothing outrageous or out of line here.
Yeah, well, without going into too much detail, I can say with certainty that The Management™ pretty much disagrees with you, and has all the backing it needs on that.
OZY MCCOOL: In other words, Mi...
LSIK&T: Lieutenant.
OZY MCCOOL: ...uh, right. Yes, sir.
I used a photo that is clearly in the public domain and posted at numerous other websites.
Y'know, Dr. Dumbfuck, you're very lucky I don't have about $20,000 cash or so on hand. I think I'd love to test that little theory of yours in court.
MERLIN: Seeing as the little prick will likely never show up on your doorstep.
LSIK&T: Precisely.
I followed his lead in that he has no problem posting photos and personal information of other people he doesn’t like
Alright, now that's abject bullshit. I don't post photos or personal information on any private citizen, ever.
MERLIN: What about Widdle Mikey Cwook, the Forsake The Troops pussy?
LSIK&T: By then, he had already, I think, appeared on Fox News or somesuch. Same with Jesse MacBeth. So yeah - David J. Allyn is now a liar, on top of everything else.
KORRIOTH: What a legacy.
or continually calls people degrading names and insinuating that they might be gay, child molesters, traitors, or any other dehumanizing label he could think of.
OZY MCCOOL: Waaaa! Waaaaaaaaa!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!1
MERLIN: Great Caesar's Ghost™, he's a sniveling little wuss!
KORRIOTH: Romulan p'takhmey have more honor!!!
I think that in your case, it's pretty well justified, dumbfuck. You've already admitted on the Rott going through the same type of "drug court" that you claim Rush Limbaugh went through, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what for.
At least, as long as it was only pot. Something else you want to admit too, asslick?
MERLIN: Confession is good for the soul, y'know.
KORRIOTH: Mheh.
So when you turn the tables on him and start using his bullying tactics, he gets all offended and removes the material.
As has already been established, I removed a picture you had no business posting, and yes - I did take the liberty of also removing your links to Mykki Chickenshit's other sycophant suckweasels. And I'll do so again if you ever attempt to repost them on the Rott, fuckhead. Post them as much as you like on your own 20-visitors-per-day blogs, or on Slashdot itself if it really gives you a stiffy. But you don't get to post them on the Rott, and that's that.
So I reposted the picture and the story on all of my sites. I probably would have taken it down in a day or two because there is nothing to “win” here, there are no “prizes”.
Oh, but let me guess - now that it's been established that you had your head up your ass when you posted them on the Rott, and I've been vindicated in their removal, you're going to keep them up until I somehow magically appear in Washington state and knock you on your drug-infested ass?
MERLIN: He really is a Mykki Chickenshit sycophant, isn't he?
KORRIOTH: And he gets pissed when you call him the fairy's butt-buddy? Mhehhehheh...
OZY MCCOOL: This is a liberal shit-for-brains we're talking about, Captain.
KORRIOTH: Point.
As I said in BOTH the parts that he took down, (and he will probably take it down here)
MERLIN: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
OZY MCCOOL: Gawd, what a crybaby!!!
I am not out to destroy him — I am sure he is probably a fairly nice guy when he isn’t hiding out on the Internet making people think he is something that he clearly isn’t.
Okay, on the one hand, fuckhead, you yourself have admitted to removing my address when I post a CSITMF™ challenge, and now you accuse me of "hiding out on the Internet"? Make up your mind, dumbass.
Spats is not a badass. I know badasses and their shadows would smother him.
We'll forget for a second that I've never claimed to be a bad-ass - just an average, everyday citizen who's had enough of liberal whining, name-calling and personal attacks on conservatives and Christians from faggot-assed, limp-wristed chickenshits who think they're real brave hiding behind their keyboards Cthulu-knows-where. And I tell you liberal pussies to come to me, because the last jackass I went to go see ran and hid.
Pretending he is a badass is pretty damn silly — especially for an out of shape guy in his mid-forties.
Y'know, that's what the last fuckhead whose ass I whipped thought. He figured he could take the fatass. Needless to say, he learned about three lessons that day - because I whipped his ass three times.
Just something for you to think about Allyn, you craven coward, should you ever grow a set and decide you really can "take [me]", as you told the Rotties.
Most of you here know that I usually stay away from the name-calling and degradation crap. I usually ignore the woof tickets, the dehumanizing, etc, and just stick to the strong stuff: the facts.
MERLIN: BWAHHHHHHH...~!
OZY MCCOOL: He wouldn't know the facts if they bit him on his skanky ass!!!
KORRIOTH: Which happens quite a bit, I've noticed on the Rott. Good catch, Lieutenant.
OZY MCCOOL: Thank you, Captain.
But every now and then you just have to stop and plant your feet and call someone on their shit.
Yeah, well - you haven't shown up on my doorstep yet, so I'm still waiting for you to plant yours.
But I am tired of lowering myself to his level just to talk to him. He obviously can’t be civil about anything.
No, I'm not going to be civil any longer to a Communist-sympathizing, dope-smoking leftist fuck with delusions of intelligence because he's got degrees from UC Bezerkely and Seattle Community College Seattle University.
MERLIN: Bezerkely and Seattle U? Hell, no wonder he's such a moron!!!
T-BONE MCMANX: What was his degree in? Coffee Brewing 101?
LSIK&T: Already said that, Ensign.
T-BONE MCMANX: Oops. Sorry, m'Liege.
OZY MCCOOL: Better to have no degree at all!
KORRIOTH: And then he wonders how it is you can outspell his ass!
I apologize for dragging the entire site though the muck just to expose him — and like I said, nobody really “wins” on this.
You haven't exposed shit, you dumb son-of-a-bitch. Except maybe your own ass.
I am through with him.
You will be if you ever grow a pair and show up on my doorstep, chickenshit.
Bank on it.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
In Memoriam
The Realm™ mourns the passing of the sister (sister, Chris?) of Day by Day artist Chris Muir.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 15, 2007
PFW: The old saw about eleven-on-eighteen
I have one question after yesterday: Why is Tom Brady still ambulatory today?
Arlington Heights 7, at South Hills 14
Texas Christian 38, at Stanford 36
at UBuffalo 43, Toledo 33
at #6 Oklahoma 41, #11 Missouri 31
#1 LSU 37, at #17 Kentucky 15, Motherfucking Blind-Assed Biased Pro-Kentucky Excuse-For-An-Officiating-Crew 28
at Dallas 27, New England 14, Pansy-asses' In-Our-Back-Pocket Blind-Assed Zebras 34
Defense ruled the day in Fort Worth as Arlington Heights could only manage 139 yards (101 passing) and South Hills could only go for 121.
Heights gave the game away, though, as the deciding points came on a 65-yard fumble recovery by the Scorpions.
...
Somebody forgot to tell the Toledo & UBuffalo defenses that the game had already started. The Zips & the Bulls combined for 38 points in the first quarter alone, and 55 points for the first half.
James Starks had 231 yards and three touchdowns for the Bulls, who are now 3-1 in Mid-American Conference play.
...
Something happened on the way to yet another loss for the Texas Christian Horned Frogs Saturday: They found their offense.
Andy Dalton completed 23 of 34 for 344 yards and two touchdowns as the Frogs scored 21 second-half points to overcome a four-point halftime deficit.
Even at that, TCU nearly gave the game away in the fourth quarter - after Aaron Brown scored a touchdown with 4:13 left, sophomore kickoff specialist Drew Combs squibbed one only about 20 yards or so, giving the Cardinal incredible field position. Only a Robert Henson bat-down of a Travis Pritchard pass from the TCU 18 saved the day for the Tadpoles.
...
After a quick Mizzou touchdown to start the game, Oklahoma then scored 23 of the next 26 points to take a 23-10 lead. Sam Bradford built on his TU performance in throwing TD passes to Enrique Iglesias and Jermaine Gresham. The Tigers would roar back...
KORRIOTH, OZY, MERLIN, T-BONE: CORRRRRRRRRR-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
LSIK&T: Shut up.
...to take a brief one-point lead, at which point reserve RB Chris Brown would score the second of his three touchdowns to lift OU to a 29-24 lead.
It was at this point that the game turned. Mizzou QB Chase Daniel took a shotgun snap, then attempted a forward hand off to tailback Jeremy Maclin, who was expecting Daniel to pull the ball back. Curtis Loftin returned the fumble 12 yards for the score and OU never looked back.
...
I've said it before, I'll say it again now, and I'll say it forevermore: Eleven-on-eighteen is not a fair fight. Especially when, as was the case in Ken-Fucky, seven of the eighteen carry whistles & flags.
Bottom-fucking-line: The God-forsaken excuse-for-an-officiating crew, led by a buffoon who I swear is Oliver Willis' twin brother, fucking gave this game to the Wildcats. LSU had no business losing this game, and I promise you, Denizens, they wouldn't have had the game been called evenly & fairly.
LSU couldn't so much as breathe on anyone wearing The Ugliest Blue Uniforms In The World™ without drawing a flag - usually for pass interference. So help me God, the motherfucking zebras were directly responsible for sustaining no fewer than four (4) drives that led to touchdowns, by calling penalties that were too damned timely to be a coincidence.
HOWEVER!!!, Ken-Fucky players could lead with their helmets on blocks (in one case knocking Tiger linebacker Craig Steltz out of the game and causing him a pretty good gash), push Tiger linemen back with hands to the face (a sure 15-yard penalty in the pros), without so much as a raised eyebrow from this sorry-assed crew.
A sample:
First quarter: LSU penalty for offsides puts the Pussies at 1st & 5 at the LSU 20; they pick up the first down and go on to score.
Second quarter: Offensive pass interference called on receiver Terrance Toliver (it wasn't); then a 10-yard illegal block penalty on Brandon LaFell (again, it wasn't) cost the Tigers 4 points as they were forced to kick a field goal.
Third quarter: LSU called for offsides (they weren't) on 1st & 10 at the LSU 15; the Pussies would go on to score another touchdown.
Fourth quarter: Consecutive so-called pass-interference penalties on LSU (one was offset by a holding penalty, which LSU could have used at that point) led to a Ken-Fucky field goal. After tying the game, a so-called holding penalty on the subsequent kickoff pushed the Tigers back 10 yards. Colt David's 57-yard attempt hooked slightly left at the end; a 47-yarder would have been good.
On the Pussies' last drive in overtime, LSU held on a third-down play - but got called for defensive holding, giving Ken-Fucky a first-and-goal inside the 5. The bastard zebras even tried to give the Pussies a phantom touchdown on the very next play.
Now, I will grant you that Matt Flynn didn't have his best game, nor did they have Early Doucet save for a couple of plays in overtime. But there is No Way In Hell™ that the Kin-Fucking Pussies are better than the LSU Tigers.
And a cleanly-called game would have borne that out. Bank on that.
...
In like fashion, the New England Pansy-asses got their usual dick-sucking from the bozos in the striped shirts against the Cowboys.
2nd quarter: A so-called holding penalty on OL Kyle Kosier cost the Cowboys 5 yards. On 4th and four, Nick Folk is forced to kick a field goal.
Subsequently, on 3rd and 3 from the Pansy 35, Dallas DL Stephen Bowen is called for offsides. Five yard penalty, first down Pansies.
What happened is that Bowen jumped into the neutral zone, then jumped back. Immediately, Pansy OT Matilda Light stands up and takes a swipe at Bowen.
Deliberately.
With any other team, that's called a false start. Not so the New England Pissants.
During the two-minute drill, Owens gets forced out of bounds on a reception. Replay calls him out-of-bounds, no catch. Any other team the Cowboys are playing, that gets called. Instead, the half-assed officiating just yawns, go run the next play, we don't care what you think, we want the Pansy-asses to win.
Third quarter: Moss runs directly into Patrick Watkins on a slant route. Watkins is obviously there first, and it should have been pass interference on Moss. Watkins is the one who gets flagged.
Fourth quarter: Barber picks up a fourth-and-one at midfield with the Cowboys down seven. Oops - "holding", Dallas (it wasn't). Cowboys punt - the Pansies go down and score. Ball game.
Fourth quarter, Dallas still trying to come back: Corner route in the end zone to Hurd. Hurd's pushed by Hobbs of the Pansies. Illegal contact at the very least - no call.
You get the idea.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The New England Pussies cannot win shit without help. They're nothing but fucking cheaters.
And then in the last minute of the game, instead of taking a knee, that son-of-a-bitch Tom Brady keeps pounding the ball in until they score their 48th point. Lemme tell you something - Billie-boy Belicheat is damned lucky Wade Phillips has enough class not to go for Brady's knees at that point. Had I been the Cowboy head coach, you Pansy fans wouldn't have your quarterback today.
This week: 3-3. Overall: 30-10.
The PFW returns on Thursday, as the Froggies will get an early jump on things. In the meantime, I imagine the Humble DevilDog is nearly suicidal at this point, Bucky having lost two straight...
Posted by sgc284 at 02:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 12, 2007
Algore wins Nobel, cheapens it even further
The Department of Lame-assed Awards That Are Worth Even Less Now Than They Were Before™ brings us news of the Nobel fuckheads in Stockholm further cheapening their pithy little peace award, awarding it to Prince Ozone ("AlGore, for the Uninitiated™) for reason that, despite their babbling to the contrary, have absolutely ZipZeroNada™ to do with, you know, actual peace.
Gore, who won an Academy Award earlier this year for his film on global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, had been widely tipped to win the prize.He said that global warming was not a political issue but a worldwide crisis.
"We face a true planetary emergency. ... It is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity," he said. "It is also our greatest opportunity to lift global consciousness to a higher level."
"Ah wan' yew t' wor-shhiiiiip muh-yeeeee!!!! Ahhh babble awwwn 'n awwwwn 'n awwwwwwwwn uh-bowwwwt Glowwww-bulllll Warrrrrrmin' 'n Ahhhhh blayyym't awwwwwwwllll awwwwwn Buuuuuush!!! He beeee-traaaaaayyyyyyd dis counnnntry!!! Heeee plaaaaayyyyyyyd awwwnnnnn awrrr feeeee-errrrrs!!!"
And for that, Prince Ozone gets a gold medial and a million-and-a-half. And gets to join those epitomes of dipshitlomacy, Dhimmi Cah-tuh and Yasma'am Arafuck.
And the morons in Stockholm lose even more of their credibility.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:06 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 11, 2007
PFW: The end of the world as we know it
This week's episode of the Perfect Football Weekend kicks off...
MERLIN, OZY, T-BONE, KORRIOTH: CORRRR...!!!~
[His Rudeness silences them all with a glare]
...kicks off this week by noting the freezing over of Hell™, the sight of pigs flying, the sun rising in the west, Warren Buffet declaring bankruptcy, liberals growing brains, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
KORRIOTH: WTF™...?
MERLIN: Uh, oh - what's happened?
OZY MCCOOL: 
KORRIOTH: That's unbecoming a Realm™ officer, Lieutanant.
OZY MCCOOL: Sorry, Captain. It's just that I know what it is.
MERLIN: What? WHAT???
LSIK&T: This.
The Cowboys receiver taped a laminated letter to his locker Wednesday to inform the media he will not be speaking this week. [Terrell] Owens normally chats for 30 minutes on Wednesdays, but he apparently he did not want to spend his time talking about Patriots receiver Randy Moss, who also wears No. 81.Dear Reporters,
Due to the magnitude of this week's game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81, I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday's game.
Sincerely, Terrell Owens 81
MERLIN: He's shutting up?
KORRIOTH: Not a peep?
LSIK&T: Believe it, guys. Our whole reality just got turned upside down.
ALL: AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!1
Okay, enough of that. Now for the football. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets start the PFW early with a district game against the South Hills Scorpions. Hard to handicap this game - South Hills won last year and is probably on the upswing, while Heights is struggling just to remain on a plateau. But both teams played Paschal within a touchdown, so we'll see.
Saturday, the Texas Christian Horned Frogs are guaranteed to lose. They're traveling to Stanford, Californication California to play the Stanford Cardinal. (No, not Cardinals - Cardinal.)
The same Cardinal who just upset the USC Trojans.
The heretofore second-ranked (formerly top-ranked) USC Trojans.
At home.
The Frogs are doomed.
Saturday, Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls have a chance to do something they've never done (at least, not in Division I-A): Win a second game in a row.
They'll be hosting the Toledo Zips - and Great Honkin' Cthulu, Vegas actually has 'em favored by three. (Now, we know that that means it's a pick 'em, but when was the last time that happened for anyone except Temple or Ohio U?)
It doesn't get any easier for the 6th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners, as they host Chase Daniel and the 11th-ranked Missouri Tigers at Owen Field. Mizzou destroyed Nebraska at home last week ( 
), so this game scares the Hell™ outta me. OU's favored by 10½, so again, we'll see.
LSU takes its top-ranked act to Kentucky to face the Wildcats. The 'Cats actually have a good team this year, so even though LSU's favored by 9½, they probably need to have a care.
Sunday afternoon, the Dallas Cowboys host Bill Belicheat Belichick, Randy Moss and the New England Pansies. The over/under on this game will be four Moss touchdowns and two video cameras.
We're back Monday or Tuesday for the recap. In the meantime, we're anxiously awaiting the Humble Devildog's rant on Bucky's first loss of the year last week.
ALL: (dive for cover)
Posted by sgc284 at 03:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 09, 2007
PFW: Folk hero
Buffalo must really hate our guts now.
Arlington Heights 21, at Eastern Hills 14
Texas Christian 21, at Wyoming 24
at UBuffalo 31, Ohio University 10
#10 Oklahoma 28, #19 Texas 21
at #1 LSU 28, #9 Florida 24
Dallas 25, at Buffalo 24
There are close to 120 Division I NCAA football programs. Number 117 played what had to have been #119 Saturday, with (for once) the expected result.
Drew Willy completed 10 of 19 for 118 yards, and James Starks ran for 183 yards and two touchdowns.
...
Okay, so it wasn't the expected squash. On the other hand, when you consider that the Shortdicks Shorthorns had won the last two (three?) games rather convincingly, there was reason to believe they might win this one, too - especially when they set out to decimate the Oklahoma secondary, which for some reason has turned into a block of Swiss cheese. Jordan Shipley caught a touchdown pass in the corner of the endzone for TU and Jermichael Finley - not to be confused with Michael Finley of the San Antonio Spurs - added one touchdown on a post route.
Neither running game did very much until OU's DeMarco Murray went on a 65-yard gallop in the third quarter. (This touchdown would prove to be the difference in the game, as TU matched OU touchdown-for-touchdown otherwise.) Murray wound up with 128 yards on 17 carries.
Turnovers, for once, plagued TU rather than the Sooners. OU protected the ball all day, while Texas' Jamaal Charles lost one fumble inside the OU five, and Colt McCoy threw one interception that killed another drive. Despite all that, McCoy ended up 19 of 26 for 324, while Sam Bradford (aka TU's worst nightmare the next three seasons) was 21 of 32 for 244.
All in all, a very nice game - and sweet revenge for what TU did to TCU.
...
Memo to Les Miles: Uh, you don't have a favorite set of lottery numbers, do you? 
The Louisiana State football coach went 5-for-5 on fourth-down plays, scoring two touchdowns directly and setting up a third off a fake field goal in winning its first game as an AP-Top-25 #1 team since 1959.
Florida gashed LSU early and often. It didn't hurt that the Gator line was holding every down, but it rarely got called for some reason.
The defense solidified when it had to, though, causing a couple of second-half turnovers. Florida quarterback Tim Tebow's last-gasp pass into the end zone was knocked down as time expired.
...
Memo to Gary Patterson: You can whip up on Baylor all you want, you can occasionally beat Texas Tech, Iowa State and sometimes OU - but if you can't beat Air Force & Wyoming, you need to STFU about the BCS and always being overlooked.
It used to be that Texas Christian was an outstanding second-half team. The book on the Frogs was: as long as they were within a touchdown or ahead by halftime, the game was all but theirs, due to their superior adjustments after halftime.
That was not to be against the Cowboys. Down 7-6, freshman quarterback Andy Dalton (SECOND MEMO TO GARY PATTERSON: Have you not seen enough to know that you don't play freshmen at quarterback unless they're named Sam Bradford?) threw an interception at his own 47-yard line. Ten plays later, the score was 14-6. On Wyoming's next drive, TCU's long-pathetic secondary was exposed, as three pass-interference penalties set the Cowboys up at the 2. (Granted, I didn't get to see the game, so I don't know if the penalties were legit - but knowing TCU's secondary as I do, it wouldn't surprise me.) Wyoming scored on the next play to make it 21-6, and would kick a field goal in the 4th quarter after yet another failed Frog drive to put the game away.
TCU came back with two touchdowns late in the fourth, and even had a chance to send the game into overtime. However, Chris Manfredini, playing in the role of Peter LoCoco this year, clanked one off the right upright from 48 yards, indicating that perhaps Patterson should eschew the weekly radio show in lieu of getting his team to play a full 60 minutes and scouting the soccer team for a placekicker.
...
Speaking of which, the C'boys have found theirs for years to come. Nick Folk has pretty much vindicated Jerry Jones' decision, not only to draft him, but then to keep him over Martin Gramatica. Folk, as you know by now, kicked a 53-yard field goal - twice - to bring the Cowboys back from defeat againt a team they had no business losing to.
He needed to be that good. Romo had his first really horrific game as a pro, throwing five interceptions (despite being 29 of 50 for 309), two of them pick-sixes, and losing a fumble on a scramble. The special teams also sucked eggs, allowing a 103-yard kickoff return for a touchdown.
What saved Dallas last night was their defense (three points allowed, plus one very critical interception from Terrence Newman).
Folk, however, was the hero last night. After Dallas' Tony Curtis had recovered Folk's onside kick following a Romo-to-Crayton TD pass (the two-point conversion failed), Romo fired incomplete to Widdle Terri Owens - he actually caught the ball, but the replay officiating, continuing a night of sucky calls against him, ruled that he'd dropped it.
(In fact, Widdle Terri was the victim of three other calls that went against the Cowboys last night - a five-yard penalty for spiking the ball (he didn't, and replays showed it), a catch that was ruled incomplete (despite replays showing that Bill defenders had forced him out, the refs said he juggled the ball; he didn't), and a pass-interference penalty on the aforementioned failed two-point conversion that wasn't called (replays showed he was clearly pushed).
Anyway, Romo then completed two short passes to Marion Barber III and Crayton, setting Folk up at the Buffalo 43.
Bills coach Dick Jauron pulled a stunt which is becoming de rigueur in the NFL this year, calling a timeout mere nanoseconds prior to the snap. No matter - the second kick was also good, giving the C'boys the win. However, expect this particular issue to be addressed sometime in the off-season.
Probably after Buffalo petitions the NFL to let them beat Dallas at least once.
This week: 5-1 (damn you, TCU!). Overall: 27-7.
The PFW will return Thursday, when we guarantee a loss for the Froggies. Tell you why then.
Posted by sgc284 at 04:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Awright, I'm back
Can't promise an everyday posting - not yet, at least.
But this is the one place where I get to say what I want, when I want, and kick the asses of anyone who has a problem with it. And it's not to my advantage to give it up just yet.
(Yeah, call it an echochamber if you libtards want. You'll find that I'm not the only one that moderates comments - and until you learn that and can demonstrate that you're capable of showing respect, they'll continue to be moderated. My blog, my rules. Suck it if you don't like it.)
PFW recap's on the way. Hang tight.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 05, 2007
PFW: Over/under on this game - three felony convictions...
This week's edition of the Perfect Football Weekend is going to start...by not talking about football.
KORRIOTH: (spew!!!!)
OZY MCCOOL: WTF...?!?!
MERLIN: Okay, who are you and what have you done with His Rudeness™?
LSIK&T: Would you guys relax? We're gonna get to the football. But first, there's this video I want you guys to check out:
MERLIN: Wow.
OZY MCCOOL: Damn.
T-BONE MCMANX: Hot danm.
KORRIOTH: Now there is a man with honor!!!
MERLIN: Balls, even.
LSIK&T: Thought you'd like that.
MERLIN: Awwww, you're just trying to get your star ratings up!
LSIK&T: Am not!!!
MERLIN: Are too!!!
KORRIOTH, OZY, T-BONE:
MERLIN: This is the video Fanusi Khiyal pointed Rotties to, isn't it? You gonna give him a hat tip?
LSIK&T: Partially. I saw it two days ago; I just haven't had time to blog it.
OZY MCCOOL: You're just not gonna give him an even break at all, are you?
LSIK&T: You want I should give him no credit?
KORRIOTH: What-ever.
Anyway, it's a damned good video. I'd love to see the cops try to arrest the guy - and a horde of Reno citizens stand between them and him.
Okay, on to football. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets begin their four-game odyssey known as "district play" - honestly, a five-team district in a 13-school city? - tonight when they take on the Eastern Hills Highlanders. Heights won last year's contest, 49-36, so the over/under on this one will be...say, 4000. 
Tomorrow morning, Ohio's other state-run university, the Ohio U. Bobcats, go to New York to play Turner Gill's UBuffalo Bulls. The Bobcats are on the other end of the football evolutionary scale from their Buckeye cousins, so the Bulls actually have a chance to win this game, even though Vegas has them at +4. Progress for the Bull program means that they beat the 'Cats, but we'll see.
Shortly thereafter, Texas Christian's Horned Frogs will take the field up in Laramie, Wyoming against the U-Wy Cowboys. TCU won last year's game in Ft. Worth - my memory of it's a little hazy, as I was busy courting La Reina Espátula™ at the time. TCU should win, though.
Saturday evening comes what will likely be the top-ranked LSU Tigers' greatest test this year, as Urban Meyer and the ninth-ranked Florida Gators come calling. Vegas has LSU as a seven-point favorite at home, meaning that, as usual, it'll come down to a field goal.
In between, though, comes Saturday's marquee matchup in the state of Texas, as the 10th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners take on the 19th-ranked TU Shortd...uh, Shorthorns in what really oughta be called the Prison Bowl:
Oklahoma has had 13 players and two recruits arrested since Bob Stoops' 1999 hiring, seven in the last two years. Of the 17 Texas player arrests since Mr. Brown's 1998 arrival, eight have occurred since the January 2006 national title-game victory.
The beloved SpatulaGoddess (aka Beff the Imperial Serving Wench™) has once again done her homework and caught Mack Brown on a recruiting trip.
Oh, well. At least they're back to calling it the Red River Shootout™.
Monday evening, the Dallas Cowboys will in all likelihood make it 5-0 as they take on the hapless Beefalo Bills up in New York. Turner Gill can possibly get some offensive coaching tips from Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett.
We're back Tuesday with the recap. In the meantime...has Notre Dame won a game yet...?
Posted by sgc284 at 04:16 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 02, 2007
Senate Majority Lame-ass Harriet Reid: Chickenshit Extraordinaire
Denizens, I'm taking time out from my sabbatical because I cannot, in all good conscience, let this pass.
Dingy Harry Reid, Tom "Flight Simulator" Harkin - front and center, both of you sons-of-crack-whore-bitches.
Let's have a look at parts of what each of you said yesterday on the Imperial Socialist Senate floor. First, you, Chickenshit Harry Reid:
Mr. President, freedom of speech is one of our country’s most cherished values.Nothing sets us further apart than the countries and regimes we oppose than our belief that everyone’s opinion matters, and everyone has the right to express it.
That is why, when we hear things on the radio that are offensive, by and large, we tolerate them.
Which is why you fucking retarded bastards are so damned intent on bringing back the Fairness Doctrine. Right.
Pull the other one, douchebag.
But last week, Rush Limbaugh went way over the line – and while we respect his right to say anything he likes, his unpatriotic comments cannot be ignored.
"Unpatriotic", Dingy Asshole? PotKettleBlack™ much, you liberal fuckhead?
During his show last Wednesday, Rush Limbaugh was engaged in one of his typical rants.
Yeah - the type that almost always nails your leftist asses to the wall for being the Communist pussies that you all are.
Truth hurts, doesn't it, dumbass?
This rant was unremarkable and indistinguishable from his usual drivel, which has been steadily losing listeners for years
That so? Suppose you have verifiable proof from a credible source for that, you lying, putrid little skank?
C'mon, Harriet, let's see your "proof"! Show us whatcha got, assmunch!
until he crossed that line by calling our men and women in uniform who oppose the war in Iraq “phony soldiers.”
Uh-huh. And precisely which of "our men and women in uniform" (here's a hint, asscrust - I wouldn't call 'em yours if I were you - three guesses as to whom they'd side with in the pending civil war, and the first two don't count) do you have on record as "oppos[ing] the war"?
Inquiring minds wanna know, Harriet!
This comment was so beyond the pale of decency that it cannot be left alone.
This from a member of the party whose 2000 presidential candidate called his opposition the "extra-chromosome Right", who has attempted to castigate opposition to his tree-humping agenda, who has accused us of wanting everyone (including ourselves, presumably) to breathe dirty air and drink dirty water, and who joined in accusations that we wanted to "push Grandma down the stairs", who calls us racists, sexists, bigots, "homophobes"...is that the "pale of decency" to which you refer, Harriet Reid, the Senate's Official Colostomy Bag™???
And yet, he followed it up with denials
Precisely, you retarded bonehead - BECAUSE YOU ACCUSED HIM OF SOMETHING HE DIDN'T SAY!!! We all realize that plain English is not the primary language of libtards, but you really don't have to take things to absurd extremes like that.
and an attack on Congressman Jack Murtha, a 37-year active member of the Marine Corps.
Yeah. Maybe it's because your "37-year active member of the Marine Corps" IS A MOTHERFUCKING COWARD AND A DAMNED LIAR TO BOOT!!!!!
But, that's just a guess.
Yet Rush Limbaugh took it upon himself to attack the courage and character of those fighting and dying for him and for all of us.
He did no such thing, you lying little needledicked faggot. You know, I know it, and every right-thinking individual in this country who doesn't emulate you and your homies at Media Matters and stick their heads up their asses knows it.
And for you to state what you know for a fact is clearly opposite of the truth makes you out to be nothing but a ***damned liar.
Rush Limbaugh got himself a deferment from serving when he was a young man.He never served in uniform.
He never saw in person the extreme difficulty of maintaining peace in a foreign country engaged in civil war.
For your information Harriet, you fuckwad - Rush Limbaugh was disqualified from military service by a medical condition.
Yeah, I know that you and countless other Down's Syndrome libtards will happily call it a "butt pimple" - all of you fascist fucks having absolute first-person knowledge of being same, after all - but if the military decides that they don't what you, what do you propose Rush should've done? Sue to get in?
MERLIN: Actually, they might have suggested that.
KORRIOTH: Always seems to work for them.
LSIK&T: Yeah, but that's for the chickenshit libs to get out of the military, not into it.
KORRIOTH, MERLIN (in unison): Point.
Ye he thinks that his opinion on the war is worth more than those who are on the frontlines.
Certainly his opinion is worth a fucking helluva lot more than yours is, Harriet.
But let's test that theory, shall we? Whose opinion on how things are going in Baghdad is worth more, Harriet, you worthless gasbag?
That of General Petraeus, whom you said "isn't in touch with what's going on in Baghdad"? Or your own, despite the fact that you've spent less than 48 hours there, as opposed to the general's 2½ years???
And what’s worse – Limbaugh’s show is broadcast on Armed Forces Radio
That's right, Harriet, you little shit. And he's there because the troops asked for him to be there!!! Would that you could be that popular anywhere but in your wet dreams, assclown.
Which means that thousands of troops overseas and veterans here at home were forced to hear this attack on their patriotism.
You're not fooling any of the troops with this one, Harriet, you pissant. Contrary to what your fellow Imperial Socialist Senate pussy, John-boy F'n Qetchup-ass, thinks about the troops, they're a little too intelligent to fall for this putrid-assed bullshit you're foisting on them.
Rush Limbaugh owes the men and women of our Armed Forces an apology.
Rush owes them nothing, skank, because he hasn't offended them. You, on the other hand, offend all patriotic right-thinking Americans just by continuing to waste our oxygen.
And that goes for the rest of your fellow leftist douchebag honeyboys.
I can’t help but wonder how my Republican colleagues would have reacted if the tables were turned – if a well-known Democratic radio personality had used the same insulting line of attack against troops who support the war.
Every time Randi Rhodes or Al Franken or Alan Colms opens their putrid pieholes, dumbfuck. Every time MorOn.org posts another ad bashing someone like General Petraeus. Every time someone like Widdle Mikey Crook puts up an anti-military shit site like Forsake The Troops, every time a cretin like Jesse MacBeth spreads lies about the military that get picked up by the dickweeds at Air Scaremerica, every time you and Piglosi and Murthafucker accuse the troops of things they did not do.
One of these days, Harriet, you conniving cocksucker, the right-thinkers in this nation are going to decide they've had enough of you and the rest of the libtards - and may God help you then...because we won't.
NEXT: Tom "Flight Simulator" Harkin.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:03 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 01, 2007
PFW: Cranking up the bandwagon
Well, if it's not time to jump on the bandwagon, it's definitely time to start pushing.
Arlington Heights 26, at Kennedale 51
at Texas Christian 24, Colorado State 12
UBuffalo 14, Ball State 49 (Buffalo fails to cover)
#3 Oklahoma 24, atBuffalo Chip UColorado 27
#2 LSU 34, at Tulane 9
at Dallas 35, St. Louis 7
As expected, Kennedale trounced Arlington Heights, scoring 35 straight points during the first & second quarters to put the game out of reach.
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Ball State put the game away in the first quarter, then used the rest of the game to beat the SpatulaSpread™. UBuff scored one touchdown each in the third & fourth quarters after State had quit trying.
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LSU sleepwalked through the entire first half vs. Tulane - at one point, the Green Wave even led the #2 (now #1, ThankYouVeryMuch™) team in the nation, 10-9.
But Charles Scott scored a pair of touchdown in the second half, and Jacob Hester added one as the Tigers pulled away.
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What is it with Colorado State? Every year they have an extremely big, extremely talented (to this scribe, anyway) team - and every year they play Texas Christian's Horned Froggies and lay a ginormous egg.
The Rams' offense pushed the Frogs around nearly at will on the first couple of drives, yet had only a 47-yard field goal to show for it. But the longer the game went, the more the Frogs seemed to wear down the Rams.
Freshman QB Andy Dalton injured his knee during TCU's first drive and was replaced for the rest of the game by backup Marcus Jackson, who rushed on keepers for 38 yards and two touchdowns and passed to tight end Shae Reagan for another. Aaron Brown added 124 yards on 22 carries.
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Bob Stoopes was the first to admit that OU had a bad all-around effort Saturday.
"They outplayed us and outcoached us," Stoops said. "They fought their way to a heck of a win."
Up 24-7 a third of a way through the third quarter, the Sooners gave up 20 straight points to an inferior team.
Yeah, I said inferior team - this is the same bunch that barely beat the aforementioned Colorado State Rams by 3 in overtime, then promptly went out and got its asses whipped by national powerhouse (*cough*) Arizona State. These guys ain't exactly UFlorida.
Still, Oklahoma still had a chance to put the game away with a field goal of their own, but replay overruled a Sam Bradford-to-Malcolm Kelly reception on OU's last drive. (And if I'm OU, I'm getting damned sick-and-tired of the fucking college instant-replay system. It doesn't matter if the Sooners are in the right or wrong on these calls - they always seem to get screwed by replay, and if David Boren had any balls to speak of, he'd be screaming at the NCAA right now to do something about it.)
Memo to Mack Brown: Yeah, I know your TU Shortd...uh, Shorthorns got torched in Austin the other day. Bee Effin' Dee™ - you've had it coming now for a while; you're just lucky the Frogs don't have an offense this year. OU's gonna be out for fuckin' blood Saturday, and your chain gang football team just happens to be in the way.
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This could be a magical year for the Cowboys.
Rottie commenter JanetMae makes a good point - Dallas hasn't really played a team of substance yet, although the Ram & Bear defenses are nothing at which one should sneeze - and, as of last night, neither is the defense of the New York Football Giants.
(Aside to leoni2: Think it may be time to return to the florescent yellow-and-blues? )
Case in point: First-half two-minute drill, Dallas third-and-three at midfield. You've seen the play by now - Andre Gurode launches the shotgun snap over Romo's head at near-warp speed towards the 'Boys goal. Romo gives chase, catches up to the ball - and kicks it further. Finally picking it up and curling to his right, he eludes two would-be tacklers (one with a nifty sidestep) and comes up the left sideline to the St. Louis 46 yardline. Four yard gain, first down. Dallas scores five plays later and never looks back.
Parcells might've yanked Romo for that last year and gone back to Drew "The Statue" Bledsoe, and allowed the Cowboys to lose the game. But for the growing legend that is Tony Romo, it's just another day at the office.
Patrick Crayton had a career day yesterday, catching 7 passes for 184 yards and two touchdowns. Julius Jones & Marion Barber combined for 102 yards on 21 carries, Jason Witten caught 6 balls for 71 yards, and Romo was 21 of 33 for 339.
Ram quarterback Marc Bulger, playing with two broken ribs, was no match for the Dallas defense, getting picked once, sacked three times and going only 11-for-14 for 114 yards. He gave way to Gus Frerotte in the fourth quarter, after the game had been decided.
The 'Boys will be severely tested in a couple of weeks when Bill Belicheat Belichick & the New England Pansies Peepingtoms Patriots come to town - but for now, it's sweet to see the Cowboys taking care of business the way they need to be doing.
This week: 3-3. Overall: 22-6.
The PFW returns Friday with the question: In the Red River Shootout, will t.u. be wearing burnt orange, or prison orange??? 
Posted by sgc284 at 01:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack