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November 19, 2007
Comment of the month
(PROGRAMMING NOTE: The PFW™ recap will be posted once things settle down around here.)
Denizens, I'm a little hamstrung here - AO-Hell Time Warner Cable Fuckups™ (seriously, that should be the name of their half-assed excuse-for-a-company) snipped my cable a bit early...
MERLIN: Oh, admit it - they did us a favor.
KORRIOTH: You must admit we wouldn't have finished packing in time had we been planted on our asses this weekend watching football.
OZY MCCOOL: At least not without pulling you-know-who out of the airlock and conscripting her.
LSIK&T: Oh, yeah - almost forgot about them. How's that going?
MERLIN: Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth - the usual.
LSIK&T: Just make sure you feed 'em enough to keep 'em alive before we blow the hatch, hm?
KORRIOTH: Ooooh, that reminds me - it's been a couple days.
LSIK&T (laughing): Kor, why didn't they draft you for the Dominion War?
LSIK&T: Because you buried me by putting me in command of the Hum-a-zoo.
LSIK&T: Yeah, well - next time, don't interrupt me whilst I'm Chick Chasing™, mkay?
KORRIOTH: (grunt)
Anyway, Time Warner chopped not only my cable, but the 'Net as well (I'm doing this entry off my wireless modem), so things are a little iffy at the moment. Nevertheless, I managed to find this little jewel for your viewing pleasure.
Comment by qsilverReminds me of the time I had to call the local PD here. 2 AM and I hear this scream. This is through closed windows, over the racket of a 10,000 BTU AC in the window, and the TV on. I grabbed my pants, sidearm, and cordless phone. I headed down the stairs and out the side door to figure out what the hell was going on and spotted a domestic disturbance taking place. No big deal, until you know that the place the disturbance was is the top of a 75 ft. cliff.
I called the PD and talked to the dispatcher:
Me: Hey, there’s a domestic going on here at the end of the road. They’re screaming and swinging, and they’re right on the edge of the cliff.
Dispatch: How long has this been going on?
Me: I don’t know, I heard the screams and came out here with my sidearm to make sure my downstairs tenant wasn’t getting murdered.
Dispatch: Do you have a… GUN sir?
Me: Umm… Yeah. It’s 2AM and I hear blood curdling screams I grab my sidearm before heading out the door.
Dispatch: Sir… Guns are dangerous… You really shouldn’t have that…
Me: (Long, disgusted pause) Honey, just because YOU had to become a dispatcher because you’re too stupid to handle a firearm does not mean the rest of us are all mental defectives.
Dispatch: Sir! I don’t like your tone of voice!
Me: And I don’t like that you’ve ignored a domestic assault happening ON THE TOP OF A DAMN CLIFF! You want to quit bitching about my second amendment rights and send an officer down here before the bitch ends up tossed over the side and I have to shoot the fucking boyfriend?
I sat on the porch till they patched it up and drove away, since dispatch apparently didn’t like my attitude and so never sent out a cruiser. Or maybe they were all tied up with more important things… like the run to Krispy Kreme.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at November 19, 2007 07:02 AM
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Comments
1. Based upon experience, Time Warner is light years better than Comcast.
2. Must have been a liberal dispatcher. Did Quicksilver file a complaint with the police department?
Posted by: David Hartung at November 19, 2007 08:41 AM