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March 17, 2008
ATM protocols
Denizens, Your Obdt. Svt. (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) got about four hours sleep last night, and feels like crap tonight as a result. We, therefore, return to the Grab-Bag and bring you this - again, courtesy of the Mothergoose in Denton. Again, 'tis below the fold for your convenience.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Okay, now how many of you are nodding yer heads? 
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at March 17, 2008 08:16 PM
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Comments
No wonder you go through women so quickly!
They all leave to avoid strangling you!
Grin!
Posted by: David Hartung at March 17, 2008 09:22 PM
Would the final shred of Geraldine Ferraro's political career be over if she publicly acknowledged this?
Posted by: Alan K. Henderson at March 18, 2008 12:51 AM
Heck Alan, why not go one better....what would it do to Hitlary's career if she admitted this?
Or 99.999999999% of the Whollyweird or San Frangaysco crowd???
Posted by: Supreme General Rayegun at March 18, 2008 09:55 AM
Well, Hillary isn't grabbing the third rails as boldly as Ferraro is.
Posted by: Alan K. Henderson at March 19, 2008 12:04 AM
