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April 30, 2008
Human Statue Of Liberty
Still got nothing, Denizens (that is, unless you wanna hear me rant on how Mark Cuban's a dickweed for firing Avery Johnson and not the Mavs' resident stoner, J-Toke Howard).
Hence, we go to the Grab-Bag™ and present this, courtesy of the Mothergoose from Denton:
(I don't care if it is all over the bloody Interwebnettubes. I think it's damned cool. 
)
Posted by sgc284 at 08:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 28, 2008
Heckfire & Hamnation
Denizens, I got nothing tonight. (Combination of having to do some actual, you know, work - and IMing with the SpatulaGoddess. At the same time. I multitask.)
Speaking of Her Royal Hawtness™, she gets the hat tip for this.
Spew warnings.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 26, 2008
On the NFL draft (from a C'boy fan perspective, of course)
Okay, so in the NFL draft, the C'boys took running back Felix Jones from Ar-kansas and cornerback Mike Jenkins from Tampa Bay Community College South Florida in the first round, and tight end Martellus Bennett from Texas A&M. Oh, and the deal for Adam "Pacman" Jones is now official.
1st reaction: Why the hell didn't they get Mario Manningham from Michigan at 61? They need receivers more than they need a backup tight end!!! (Thank Cthulu he's still on the draft board, so there's still a chance.)
2nd reaction: The more I ponder the selection of Jones, the less excited I get. Looks like we're simply replacing one spare named Jones with another.
3rd reaction: C'boys have, in effect, traded Jacques "Toast" Reeves and Nate "Burnt Toast" Jones for Mike Jenkins and Pacman Jones. I can live with that trade. 
For now, they get a grade of C. Let's hope they do a little better in Day 2.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 24, 2008
Black & white on the gray matters
(H/T to the SpatulaGoddess.)
This guy is the effin' shiznit.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 23, 2008
Dan Frazier, pissweasel extraordinaire
Y'know, back in the Good Ol' Days™, pussies like this half-assed, limp-wristed, dickweed son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch Danielle Frazier would (shortly after word got around of what the assnugget was doing) be found in a back alley somewhere - and fairly well ventilated, if you catch my drift.
Now, I'm not suggesting anyone go find the pantywaist coward and introduce him to a cache of 9mm. NosirreeBob™.
But if the chickenshit were to meet his destiny before next week, I doubt I'd shed as much as .0000000001 microns of a tear, y'know?
Just sayin'.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 22, 2008
The Duchess takes Pennsylvania
And Operation Chaos continues.
The Duchess won Pennsylvania tonight by 10 points, 55-45, thus keeping her candidacy viable for the immediate future. (What happens after N. Carolina is still anyone's guess.)
The delegates are getting nervous. Dr. YEARRRRRRRRRGH!!!! wants the superdelegates to vote right now, dammit. Some supers are telling the good (cough) Doctor to sit on it and rotate.
Some from both sides say they'll either vote for McRINO or stay home if their candidate doesn't win the nomination.
Meanwhile, McZhamnesty sits, bides his time and waits for the spike off the bump, set.
And it do get curiouser & curiouser...
Posted by sgc284 at 11:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 21, 2008
An unhappy anniversary
I was feeling like crap Saturday (still do, just not as bad - it's either a sinus headache or Pegasus once again has veered into the Migraine Nebula), so I neglected to remember this:
With a little reminder to Das Klintonreich: Had your bimboid excuse-for-an-attorney general, Janet El Reño, not committed these wanton acts of murder, there's a greater-than-zero chance that the Murrah building in OKC would still be standing.
Just sayin', is all.
Bastard liberal scum...
Posted by sgc284 at 10:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 20, 2008
Memo to "Chris from Kzoo": ESAD.
One of the reasons that I ever opened Spatula City BBS! in the first place was to say what I wanted to say, when I wanted to say it.
And it looks like I'm gonna have to exercise that particular perrogative again now.
Some background for you: Tonight the NHL's Dallas Stars won their first playoff series in five years, 4-2, with a 4-1 Game 6 win over the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim Anaheim Ducks.
Now, the Dullest Moaning Snooze hosts a blog that talks about the Stars and the NHL. And I'm a participant therein. And right now, there's a thread in which one of the commenters seems to think that those of us who didn't think a whole helluva lot of the Stars chances shouldn't have the right to say so.
The thread is here. Pay particular attention to what "Chris from Kzoo" is saying
The following response is for him (since the powers-that-be over at the DMS won't allow a response (incidentally, it was a lot cleaner than what you're about to read):
"DIAF"
Oh, wow, my fewwings are soooooooo hurt. Tell me, little wussboy, did you have to wipe the orange from the Cheetos off your fingers before you typed that? Or perhaps you could only type your bullshit with one hand whilst tossing to Pee Wee Herman with the other, hm?
"This blog was put here for the fans. Those who seek only to diss this team before the games are even played do not fall into that catagory"
What, because you say so? That blog isn't your personal property, remember? You don't get to decide who can or can't be there.
Sucks to be you, doesn't it?
You don't like that, assclown, get your own fucking blog.
"And yes, that is my personal preference; as many have pointed out to the (now invisible) Duck fans"
Oh, so I'm a Duck fan now? Tell me, in your infinite wisdom (cough), what was I when the Stars blew a three-goal lead to the Kings last month? Was I a Kings fan then?
Inquiring minds want to know!
"Naysayers, commission a poll here if you want; the admins can help you out. We, the fans, do not want you here"
And I don't give a flying fuck at a donut hole what you shit-for-brains Pollyannas want.
If the Stars play like crap, I'm going to point it out. And as long as I follow the rules of the Stars blog, I'm going to point it out there.
Tough fucking shit if you don't like it.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 19, 2008
Yet another Christians v. Lions debate
There's a fairly interesting discussion going on here.
You might check it out if you're so inclined.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 17, 2008
Yippee. Ha-ha. Whee.
Oh, wow. Hold me back. I can't stand all the excitement.
Big Dickhead Perry's running for governor again in Texas.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 16, 2008
Keep up the good work, ICE
This is damned good news.
On the other hand, now I'm going to have to find someone else to supply my chicken...
Posted by sgc284 at 01:13 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 15, 2008
Idle thought
What the hell are those dolts in Eldorado, TX effin' thinking????
Do they not realize that multiple spouses mean multiple sets of in-laws?????
KORRIOTH: Had a little experience with that, have we?
[Our Hero™ points one finger, hard, at Korrioth. The Klingon/Vulcan hybrid feels something like a steel-toed boot kick him in the ass.]
LSIK&T: Bite me, Bumpy.
KORRIOTH:
Posted by sgc284 at 11:54 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 13, 2008
"Here, take it!" "No, you take it!"
Denizens, I'm beginning to wonder if the Demoscum want the White House at all.
I mean, lookit. First you have Der Kaiser comparing B. HUSSEIN! Osama Obama to the Rev'rnnnnnnn'd Jacks'nnnnnn and causing support to gravitate towards the Manchurian Muslim©.
Then, we find out about Obambi's half-assed excuse-for-a-minister, the Rev'rnnnnnnd Jackass-i-miah Wrong, and his hatred for the United States of America, and how Manchurian Man has soaked it all in for 20 years, and is trying to lie about it and/or cover it up. Which caused support to pendulum its way back towards the Duchess Hilarious.
Who then turned around and gave the support right back when she out-and-out lied about her 1996 trip to Bosnia.
Now Osama Obama is trying to give the nomination right back to the Duchess by calling us "bitter" and kvetching about how we "cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations". Not putting too fine a point on it by referring to us as "they", of course.
Your serve, Duchess.
Makes me even more pissed off that the GOP seems to want to commit political suicide by nominating John-Boy McZhamnesty this year. This would have been a slam dunk in the faces of the Donktards otherwise. 
Posted by sgc284 at 02:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 10, 2008
Open mouth, insert foot, get ass busted
Item: Some months back, Err Scaremerica bimboette hostess Randi Rhoades goes on a bender, then heads out and does the time-honored "FallDownGoBoom" act. Blames it on conservatives and milks the Loon-assed Liberal Left™ for all they were worth before the truth came out, whereupon we right-thinkers promptly LOAO at her. 
Item: Last week, Err Scaremerica "suspended" widdle Wandi for comments she made against the Duchess Hillarious & former Veep candidate-ette Geraldine Ferraro, calling them "fucking whores".
Item: Today, Err Scaremerica shitcanned Randi's ass.
Reaction: 
There may be hope for Err Scaremerica yet...
Posted by sgc284 at 03:12 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
April 09, 2008
Charlton Heston: 1923 - 2008
Moses. Ben Hur. John the Baptist. Marc Antony. Henry VIII. El Cid. Andrew Jackson. Al Murdoch. Stewart Graff. NRA president. Charlton Heston was all these, and much more.
My first memory of his acting ability was over 30 years ago, when he starred as the aforementioned Al Murdoch in Airport 1975. As I was more than just a little bit fascinated with the 747 at the time, it was a film I would eventually see in its first run no fewer than 25 times.
No. I'm not kidding. (I was a kid back then, what can I say?)
The former actor, Screen Actors Guild and later NRA president (and he who should have been US president during the '90s, IYAM) passed away Saturday at the age of 84.
"Charlton Heston was seen by the world as larger than life. He was known for his chiseled jaw, broad shoulders and resonating voice, and, of course, for the roles he played," Heston's family said in a statement. "No one could ask for a fuller life than his. No man could have given more to his family, to his profession, and to his country."
1998 saw Heston elected to the presidency of the National Rifle Association,
for which he had posed for ads holding a rifle. He delivered a jab at then-President Clinton, saying, "America doesn't trust you with our 21-year-old daughters, and we sure, Lord, don't trust you with our guns."
In a later speech for the NRA, he also delivered this line:
President Heston - you are mourned, sir, and you will be sorely missed. I pray there is another like you in our midst, but I seriously wonder at this point.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 08, 2008
Programmiong note
Denizens, tonight's eulogy for the great Charlton Heston will be pushed back a night, due to my being a @(%*@^@()82ing on-call tech who wishes he could've stuck the pacifier in the other end of some of his crybaby clients.
But don't mind me. Right now I'm in as foul of a mood as I've been in a while. The Shelliak are not going to enjoy the upcoming negotiations...
Posted by sgc284 at 10:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 06, 2008
Divorce po's God. Sun rises in East. Film at 11.
Gee, Bennie - y'don't say???
Try telling that to that Mexican, Catholic bimbo who played "rent-a-husband" with me last year. 
Posted by sgc284 at 05:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 05, 2008
Yeah, karma's a bitch - but have a care
Misha reports that the Inbred Phucktard, Phred "Phaggot" Phelps, has attempted to file bankruptcy to escape a civil judgment and had it thrown back in his face.
Normally, we'd be dancing a over this. That son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch has had this coming for a while now, and I for one am pleased to see him get it in the shorts.
While Misha & the Rotties are dancing in the streets, though, I see one small, almost insignificant problem with this procedure:
If they can do it to Phred Phelps...they can do it to you.
Denizens, I put that in the block for a reason. I can't put too fine a point on this. Anything, anything that happens to Westboro Baptist Church can happen to your church or my church. Or you and me - if we suddenly become enemies of the state. And all that has to happen is for the government to decide that some religion...say, Christianity...has become a liiiiiiittle too extreme for its tastes.
It happened to the Branch Davidians. It's happening to Focus on the Family right now in Canada.
"But Spats", I almost hear you saying, "Algore would have to visit Hell and cause it to freeze over before that has a snowball's chance of happening to the churches here. They wouldn't dare do that to us."
Phaggot Phreddy Phelps thought that, too. Which is exactly why he filed for bankruptcy.
Think about it.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:19 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 03, 2008
Why are we honoring her? Did we run out of noble people?
Item: A bimboid who's really too damned ugly to be wearing nipple rings sets off a metal detector at the Lubbock airport. TSA officials adhere to policy in forcing the trollop to remove the "jewelry". She pitches a fit, hires a big-name feminazi attorney and forces TSA to cave.
Item: Now the fat cow is being honored by some cackling-hen quilting bee of which no one's ever heard, presumably because SHE SPOKE TRUTH TO POWER, W00+ W00+!!!
Reaction #1: I don't supposed it ever occurred to you, Mandibitch, to TAKE THE DAMNED THINGS OUT BEFORE GOING TO THE AIRPORT?!?!?!?!
Reaction #2: What the hell are you doing wearing nipple rings anyway? It's not like you're that good-looking, y'know?
UPDATE: Reaction #3: Presumably, Mandi Hammi's trollop excuse-for-an-attorney, Gloria Allred, was quoted as saying:
"The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon."
Well, certainly yours ain't, Allred. Then again, I don't know of anyone who really wants to see you nekkid, y'know?
Posted by sgc284 at 07:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 01, 2008
We got a problem here, heads up!!!
Denizens, I think it's time to sound the Realm Red Alert™ on this one. There's no time to waste; we need to do something now.
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
* is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns.
* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
* as an industrial solvent and coolant.
* in nuclear power plants.
* in the production of styrofoam.
* as a fire retardant.
* in many forms of cruel animal research.
* in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
* as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.
Write your congresscritter, senators, state & local legislators, let's get this out into public discourse and get this insidious substance banned NOW!!!!!
Who's with me?
Posted by sgc284 at 12:50 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack