July 26, 2008
The IV project: Zero
Denizens, today is the day. The IV project is now complete, and ready for deployment.
As you know, ever since Spatula City BBS! left the orbit of Planet Bogshplat, we've run on a platform of Movable Type 3.15. And it's served us well here, for the most part.
But, as Geddy Lee once said, "changes aren't permanent - but change is". The time has come to part ways with Movable Type, and rebuild this fine blog upon another platform.
Therefore, later on today Spatula City BBS! will come down for a short period and convert from Movable Type 3.15 to Wordpress 2.6. With any luck, the changeover will be (other than the cosmetic appearance) relatively seamless.
There are three reasons for the conversion to Wordpress:
1) This current version of MT doesn't handle spam terribly well. The filter, MT-Blacklist, is pretty much a reactive filter - you have to tell it what to block, and even then it's not terribly efficient. Our filter here is chock full, and still we continue to get spam-bombed. I'm tired of having to deal with it all.
By contrast, Wordpress is outfitted with a filter called Akismet. It's working extremely well on the Rott, and that hasn't escaped my notice.
2) Ever since Mykki Chickenshit's dick-sucking sycophant pussified minions decided to come in here and try shitting on my carpet, I've had to moderate comments. That's also tiresome. Besides, I'm sure that The Six Or Seven Of You Who Still Read Me™ would prefer (as would I) to see your comments hit the blog in realtime. Wordpress will allow us to do that here.
3) MT's "shareware" version (which is what this is) only allows for one author to a blog. (The full version that allows multiple authors cost $69 two years ago, I can only guess it's gone up since then, and I'm not independently wealthy.)
I have, for a long time now, wanted this blog to have multiple authors. More authors means more posts, and potentially more traffic.
MERLIN: Not to mention less work for you.
LSIK&T: Shut up, conehead.
MERLIN: 
The plan is to build a Four Right Wing Wackos/Rott-style blog here, with multiple authors writing multiple posts per day. More of My Eternal...
KORRIOTH: Ahem.
uh, Our Eternal Wisdom™ for you, the masses.
The conversion will begin here in a bit. Keep your eyes peeled.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Spats sees dead people
[SCENE: In His Rudeness' quarters. Pegasus is en route to the Shelliak homeworld, having destroyed its flagship without firing a shot. Captain Korrioth, on orders from Lord Spatula, has dutifully transmitted footage of the "battle" to the Shelliak, along with a pointed message that they were not happy campers.
Spats, having downed the aforementioned keg of peach-tea-flavored Theragen derivative, is now attempting to rest before the next encounter. A chime, the location of which Our Hero™ cannot place, is insisting on his attention.
Spats sits up in bed, palms trying unsuccessfully to push back the throbbing migraine-like pain shooting out of his eye sockets.]
LSIK&T: I don't suppose you have any Generic Acetominiphen-Based Pain Reliever Food Substitute™ over there, do you, Allan-a-Dale?
[I hate it when he calls me that.]
LSIK&T: I know. That's why I do it. 
[Sorry, m'lord, no. McCool took the last six I had - something about too much Romulan ale again.]
LSIK&T: That does it; I'm getting me a sober Chief Engineer. [The chime sounds again.] WHAT?!?!?!?!?
[A holographic figure rises from the floor. As Spats was earlier, this figure is also wearing a hooded cloak.]
HOODED FIGURE: You have done well, my you...my middle-aged padawan.
[Spats squints at the figure with one half-open eye.]
LSIK&T: Aren't you dead?
HOODED FIGURE: What I am or am not is not important. What is important---
LSIK&T: And I'm not your padawan, either! You never gave me any formal Sith training, Palpy, remember? I learned at the hand of Darth Mortis, if you'll recall.
HOODED FIGURE: You will properly address me as 'Master', my apprentice.
LSIK&T: You're lucky I'm only calling you Palpy, and I said I'm not your padawan!
HOODED FIGURE: But you have used your Sith talents again. I felt the disturbance in the Force. It is why I am here - to start you back on your training.
LSIK&T: Well, to paraphrase a little green mutual acquaintance of ours, I need no further training. Already know all I'm going to need.
HOODED FIGURE: You know nothing of the Dark Side of the Force, padawan. You still require much training to become truly powerful.
LSIK&T: I already am truly powerful. I'm alive, have my powers and rule my own little part of the galaxy.
[Spats raises an eyebrow at the hooded hologram]
LSIK&T: Which is more than I can say for you as of late.
[A look of extreme rage crosses the hooded one's face and he raises his arms and reaches out towards His Rudeness.]
LSIK&T (quickly): But if it'll make you happy - and get you out of my hair - I suppose I can go by my Sith name a little more often. Satisfied?
HOODED FIGURE: It is your name as chosen by the Sith Brotherhood. You are required to identify yourself by that name.
LSIK&T: You forget, Palpy - I'm a free man. The Sith long ago demonstrated they did not need me - nor I them, for that matter.
[At that moment, the migraine decides to remind Our Hero™ just why he's in his quarters in the first place. Spats winces noticeably.]
LSIK&T: Nor do I need you RightAboutNow™. Off with you, before I scramble yer molecules.
HOODED FIGURE: This is not yet over, my padawan. You will address me as "Master" eventually. I have foreseen it.
LSIK&T: Yeah, yeah, just like you foresaw Endor. Now git!!!
[The image fades from view. It is replaced by the ship's intercom.]
KORRIOTH (over speaker): Bridge to the Admiral. We are within visual range of the Shelliak homeworld. They have sent another "welcoming committee"; you may wish to see this.
LSIK&T (under breath): Aw, shit. (towards speaker) Very well, Captain. I'm on my way.
(To be continued...)
Posted by sgc284 at 10:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 25, 2008
Almost there
One.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 24, 2008
Old MacDonald had a countdown...
E-I-E-I-O.
Two.
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Programming note
Training camp for the C'boys has begun, if only unofficially.
Therefore, sometime next week we'll blow the dust off that phenomonon known around these parts as The Perfect Football Weekend™
Be ready, tell your friends, etc. ThatIsAll™.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 23, 2008
Ode to Joy
Speaking of YouTube, whilst cruising for Tricia vids (yes, yes, I know - masochistic tendencies 'n such), I came across this:
(Spew alert for the Statler & Waldorf tag at the end.)
Posted by sgc284 at 09:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
More of The Somewhat Bigger Countdown™
Three.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
And now, for something completely different - a divorce case that ends the right way
Y'know, Denizens, I've made a partial blog-career out of not only throwing Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager - that is to say, Her Royal Doublewide Bitchiness - under the bus, but then having that bus stomp a mudhole and proceed to walk it dry (a little Jim Ross lingo, there). The Six Or Seven Of You Who Still Read Me™ know that there's no love lost there.
Be that as it may, I still have to give Steffi credit for one thing: She ain't Tricia Walsh-Smith.
For the Uninitiated™, this is the blonde-assed bimbo who attempted to try her divorce case in the Court Of Public Opinion™, aka YouTube. (Go look 'er up yourselves if you want. This skank makes Angelina Jolie & Amy Winehouse look chaste, and I'm not gonna give her the honor of the linkage.) The trollop attempted to employ a campaign of character assassination against her husband, Phillip Smith of the Shubert Organization (a theatrical group) by airing her numerous & shrill, screeching grievances on a series of YouTube videos.
But yesterday, a judge gave her act the hook:
Yesterday a Manhattan judge granted Philip Smith, head of the Shubert Organization, a divorce from his wife Tricia Walsh-Smith, who became an internet sensation after making a YouTube video that excoriated her prominent husband for his stash of "Viagra, porn movies, and condoms."
And poor Steffi thought that me finding out about her backbiting me was scandalous.
The video got over 3 million hits, but the judge was not a fan; yesterday he called it "a calculated and callous campaign to embarrass and humiliate her husband. She has attempted to turn the life of her husband into a soap opera by directing, writing, acting in and producing a melodrama."
I never thought I'd say this, but there's actually a blackrobe in the liberal capital of the East Coast - the same city that hosts houses harbors the New York Slimes - a blackrobe that actually gets it.
Can my heart stand the strain?
The ruling declares the pre-nuptial agreement to be valid and gives Walsh-Smith thirty days to vacate the Park Avenue apartment owned by her husband, who will pay her $750,000. Smith told reporters he’s “happy with the outcome.” His ex-wife, not so much: “I think it's disgusting,” she said outside the court. "I'm really, really disappointed with the decision. I think it totally sucks. It's a horrible pre-nup. I'd be better off in Baghdad. Bush is bringing democracy to Iraq. He should bring it to New York."
Oh, that's right, you dumb-assed Cupid Stunt™: Blame it on Bush. Hell, it works for everything else, from high gas prices to my granny's bunions - why not this? 
Walsh-Smith has vowed to live in a tent in Central Park while her lawyers appeal, but the improved Wi-Fi in Bryant Park might make that park the better choice for uploading her next video.
As long as she's someplace where the pigeons can shit nonstop on her, I don't think I'd mind a bit.
F.H.J.F.H
Posted by sgc284 at 09:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 22, 2008
The somewhat bigger countdown, cont'd.
Four.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
"Miss Nasty" gets away with it
Well, thanks to another roving band of black-robed, tyrannical jackals, CBS got away with showing us Janet Jackson's tit.
A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson's breast-baring "wardrobe malfunction."The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission "acted arbitrarily and capriciously" in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity.
Yeah, just like Justin Timberjerk "acted arbitrarily and capriciously" in doing his part to try and "bring sexy back"?
The 90 million people watching the Super Bowl, many of them children, heard Justin Timberlake sing, "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song," as he reached for Jackson's bustier.The court found that the FCC deviated from its nearly 30-year practice of fining indecent broadcast programming only when it was so "pervasive as to amount to 'shock treatment' for the audience."
I dunno about you, but I'd think showing 90 million people, a damned good portion of which were kids, for Cthulu's sake, was sufficiently "pervasive" as to comprise "shock value". I don't see any deviation from the FCC's practice there.
Then again, I've never sat in a star chamber like these three fuckwits have, so my brain hasn't ever had that glorious opportunity to rot.
In a statement Monday, CBS said it hoped the decision "will lead the FCC to return to the policy of restrained indecency enforcement it followed for decades.""This is an important win for the entire broadcasting industry because it recognizes that there are rare instances, particularly during live programming, when it may not be possible to block unfortunate fleeting material, despite best efforts," the network said.
Oh, hell, See-BS, why don't we just turn every broadcast network into the Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler channels, eh? Maybe we can have a channel for stoners & faggots too, huh?
MERLIN: We already have Bravo and MTV.
LSIK&T: Oh. Yeah, we do, don't we?
Black-robed shitheels. 
Posted by sgc284 at 06:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 21, 2008
A somewhat bigger countdown this time
Five.
Posted by sgc284 at 06:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 20, 2008
IV update
[Scene: aboard the bridge of Pegasus. The turbolift doors open.
Two people emerge - Captain Korrioth and an unidentified figure wearing a hooded cloak. The hood conceals enough of the face so that we cannot readily identify the indivdual - but the person's eyes are glowing.
In purple.
Korrioth opens his mouth to issue the command to open a communications channel. He is abruptly cut off by the cloaked individual, speaking in a startlingly strong baritone voice.]
HOODED FIGURE: Communications, open a channel to the hostile vessel.
[Communications officer Ensign T-Bone McManx jumps at the voice, but is quick to recover and toggle the requisite switches on his console.]
T-BONE MCMANX: Uh...channel open, sir.
HOODED FIGURE: Shelliak vessel. Your obstinance has caused you to forfeit the opportunity to profit from our building needs. You will, therefore, surrender and escort us to your base of operations, where we will take possession of the materials and supplies we require to build our battleship.
[Pegasus' speakers boom with what can only be interpreted as Shelliak laughter.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: You frighten us not, Lord Spatula. You are nothing but a puny human leading more puny humans and two scrawny Klingons who could break all your necks with one finger.
[Korrioth and tactical officer Lieutenant K'hadibak'h growl, very loudly. The hooded figure silences them both with a minimal gesture.]
HOODED FIGURE: You will surrender or I will destroy your vessel and proceed to your home planet with your wreckage in tow.
[More laughter from the Shelliak.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: We have scanned your vessel. Your weaponry is no match for our defensive systems. Do not deign to threaten us, puny human. The Shelliak will---
[The hooded figure raises his arms and stretches out his hands as if reaching for the Shelliak vessel. The Shelliak sneers at the individual.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: And what do you hope to accomplish with this futile gesture, puny...
[The Shelliak trails off as he begins to notice various indicators in front of him giving off most strange readings. His bridge crew has also noticed this phenomonon, and are beginning to look amongst themselves in extreme concern.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: ...what? What is this? Overload? Where??!?! Shut it down, now!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T?!?!?! (to the hooded figure) HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS, HUMAN?!?!?!
[The mysterious figure says nothing, but keeps his arms & hands outstretched. Consoles on the Shelliak vessel are visibly beginning to show signs of severe stress; some are even shorting out, causing massive sparking. As the figure's arms begin to quiver uncontrollably, we begin to see explosions on the Shelliak vessel. The Shelliak commander is now extremely angry.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: Open fire on the enemy vessel!!!
OFFSCREEN VOICE: We cannot, Captain! Weapons controls are fused!!!
SHELLIAK CMDR: Intensify the forwards sheilds!!!
OFFSCREEN VOICE: Sheilds are down, sir! We can't reestablish!!! We are defenseless!
[The Shelliak bridge is on fire now as more explosions rock the ship. The still-unknown figure is nearing a full-body seizure, but his hands remained outstretched towards the Shelliak vessel. The Shelliak commander is now in full-bore panic mode.]
SHELLIAK CMDR: WE SURRENDER!!!! We will give you anything you want, just spare our ship!!!! Plea---
[The explosions aboard the Shelliak vessel have become massive, and drown out the Shelliak's remaining pleas. The figure's arms shake wildly now, his eyes squeezed shut and his teeth grinding on themselves in a fierce grimace. Pegasus loses the picture of the Shelliak bridge---]
KORRIOTH: Shields, NOW!!!!!
[Korrioth is just in time. An instant later, the Shelliak vessel explodes in a massive fireball, having lost its antimatter containment.
The hooded mystery man collapses to the floor. Korrioth rushes to his side.]
KORRIOTH: My lord! K'hadibak'h, assist!!!
[The two Klingons lift he who has single-handedly destroyed an entire Shelliak vessel simply by raising his arms, and ease him into the command chair.]
K'HADIBAK'H: My lord, are you alright?!
HOODED FIGURE (weaker than before, but still extremely forceful): I...will recover. You may return to your duties, Tactical.
KORRIOTH: Was it absolutely necessary to destroy the Shelliak, m'lord?
HOODED FIGURE (still speaking from under the hood): They defied us. They must learn that there is a price to be paid for defiance.
KORRIOTH: Still...
HOODED FIGURE: The galaxy must learn, my friend. It is one thing to decline business with us. But it is quite another to show disrespect to us. To me.
KORRIOTH: But---
HOODED FIGURE: No "buts". We are through playing Mr. Nice Guys of the Galaxy.
[The figure lifts the hood from his head, and is revealed to be Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant.
Or is it?
Certainly it is the face of His Rudeness™. But this is a different Spatuls - the cordial, even jovial countenance of the admiral of the Realm™ fleet has been replaced with a grim, determined, dark - even angry - sneer. A visage with eyes that exude a violent purple glow - as if Our Hero™ had succumbed and surrendered his very soul to some sort of eeevil inner darkness...]
Spats, Korrioth & K'hadibak'h all turn to glare into the camera.]
LSIK&T: Would you please can the melodrama and just tell the damned story???
[Sorry.]
LSIK&T: Damn, give you a few lines and you wanna take over the whole effin' script. Geeze!
[Okay, okay. I'll tone it down a little.]
LSIK&T: Thank you, sir. Korrioth, set course for the Shelliak homeworld, warp 8. Make sure you transmit footage of that last sequence to them and advise them that I'm not in a very good mood, mkay?
KORRIOTH: Right away, sir.
LSIK&T (rising): Now, I'll be in my quarters.
KORRIOTH: Sir...?
LSIK&T: To down a keg of that peach tea Theragen derivative of yours. I told you these powers give me a huge honkin' headache!
---
Denizens, we're one step closer to completion of the IV project. Won't be long now. Hang tight.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:27 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
July 17, 2008
Fine example to set for your kid, hm?
The Department of How Low Can You Go?™ sends us this story about a robbery. But not just your garden-variety, run-of-the-mill robbery - NoSirreeBob™. This one has a twist.
Now, the original headline wasn't terribly informative - something like "gunman robs Pizza Patrón", I'm thinking, "Dumbass - where're you gonna spend all those pesos you make off with...?"
Then I read who the perp was.
A Denton pizza worker said she was surprised when a fellow employee overpowered a would-be robber -- and even more surprised by who the bad guy turned out to be.As Stephanie Martinez was getting money out of a cash drawer, a co-worker, Rudy Sandoval, fought back against the intruder, knocking off his wig and sunglasses.
"He was out on the floor for a good two to three minutes," Mr. Sandoval told NBC-TV's "Today" show this morning.
Whe she saw the face behind the wig and dark glasses, "I dropped the money," Ms. Martinez said. "I said, 'Don't hit him again! That's my dad!' And he said, 'What's he doing here?' and I said, 'I don't know!' "
Well, I know, little Stephanie. Your father is a low-life son-of-a-bitch who didn't think twice about robbing from his little girl. He's one of the piss-poorest excuses for a father that I've ever seen - and I know a redheaded girl in East Texas.
Oh, and here's a picture of the motherfucker, too:
You tell me, Denizens - doesn't that just scream "illegal alien" to you?
Yeah, go ahead and accuse me of "racial profiling". Like I give a shit. Besides, it says right here:
Witnesses followed the pickup and helped lead police to it, where Mr. Ramirez, Sonia Palacios, 38, and Jose Miguel Martinez, 26, were arrested.All three have been charged with aggravated robbery. Mr. Ramirez and Ms. Palacios were being held on immigration violations. Mr. Martinez was free on $50,000 bail.
(Emphasis most certainly added.)
Robbing the daughters Americans won't rob, as it were.
This bastard needs to be given a fair trial, found guilty, had his ugly alien ass sent back across the border - and shot in the back halfway across the bridge.
Posted by sgc284 at 08:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 15, 2008
Cause & effect, part 7,621
Larry Kudlow had a very interesting observation today - one that's nail-on-the-head right.
Democrats keep saying that it will take 10 years or longer to produce oil from the offshore areas. And they say that oil prices won’t decline for at least that long.
HOWEVER...!!!!!
In a dramatic move yesterday President Bush removed the executive-branch moratorium on offshore drilling. Today, at a news conference, Bush repeated his new position, and slammed the Democratic Congress for not removing the congressional moratorium on the Outer Continental Shelf and elsewhere. Crude-oil futures for August delivery plunged $9.26, or 6.3 percent, almost immediately as Bush was speaking, bringing the barrel price down to $136.Now isn’t this interesting?
Isn't it, indeed? Bush lifts a moratorium on offshore drilling and just talks about it, and the price drops nearly 10%.
Kinda makes you wonder what would happen if: a) the Imperial Socialist Congress dropped its moratorium, too, and/or b) we actually started to drill.
I'm willing to bet we'd see $60 oil again within three weeks. Which is why the Demoscum don't want us to drill - they want to keep the price artificially hight, so that we'll be forced to "go green" as it were, and have their wishes forced upon us at the point of an economic gun.
Reason enough for us to go all Malcolm X on the lot of them, if you ask me.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 14, 2008
Overtime. Yippee. Ha ha. Whee.
Snarl.
I might actually have had some good stuff to relate tonight - got plenty of material from which to pick & choose - but then I get an after-hours "WAAAAAAAAAAH" and I have to go shove figurative pacifier in figurative mouth.
Sucks to be me sometimes. Then again, that's why I get paid the Big Money™...
Posted by sgc284 at 09:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 12, 2008
Tony Snow: 1955 - 2008
Mr. Russert has been joined by his co-anchor. Tony Snow, former White House press secretary and veteran Fox News anchor, lost his battle with cancer today. He had just turned 53.
Tony was not always one to march in lockstep with the Bush administration:
As a commentator, he had not always been on the president's side. He once called Bush "something of an embarrassment" in conservative circles and criticized what he called Bush's "lackluster" domestic policy.
However...
At the White House, Snow brought partisan zeal and the skills of a seasoned performer to the task of explaining and defending the president's policies. During daily briefings he challenged reporters, scolded them and questioned their motives as if he were starring in a TV show broadcast live from the West Wing.
And he got the better of them far more often than not, somethat that will likely forever stick in their collective craw:
Critics suggested Snow was turning the traditionally informational daily briefing into a personality-driven media event short on facts and long on confrontation.
The thing with Tony, though, is that whatever he did - from fighting Lame Stream Midiots™ to fighting cancer - he always did so with a smile on his face and a heart full of cheer.
"He served people, and we can learn from that. He was kind, and we can learn from that. He was just a good person," the senior Bush told FOX News.[...]
"He was a great musician," Ailes said. "And he loved movies."
More than anything, said Snow's colleagues, he was a joy to work with.
"He was a lot of fun," his former FOX News producer Griff Jenkins said. "This is a loss of a family member."
FOX News Chief Washington Correspondent Jim Angle called Snow a "gentleman."
More than anything, we've lost a helluva good man, and a good friend. This one hurts.
We're going to miss you greatly, Tony. Our prayers go out to your wife and children.
Posted by sgc284 at 01:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Overlooking the overlooked
Guys, over these last couple of decades I've been blessed to enjoy the friendship of Denizen and fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson (yeah, Alan, it really has been about that long), whose fine work of bloggery goodness you can find right here. Alan has such a propensity for logic & in-depth analysis on the issues of the day that I sometimes have to look just to make sure he doesn't have pointed ears. The man is actually more Vulcan than some Vulcans I know...
KORRIOTH: Hey!!!
LSIK&T: Shut up, Bumpy. No one'd know you were half-Vulcan if you had anything up there resembling hair...
KORRIOTH: HEY!!!!!!
ALL (except Korrioth): 
So anyway, when Alan even halfway admits to overlooking something, one has to stand up and take notice...
When composing Wednesday's post I only half-glanced at the linked article that documented the most recent Congressional approval rating. I missed this part of the article:Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said President Bush has been a drag on public perception of Congress.
Modesty prevents me from mentioning who (*coughcoughcough*)...uh...pointed it out to him.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 11, 2008
Three years and counting...
Three years & counting, Denizens.
Three years ago, Widdle Mikey "Mykki Chickenshit" Cortese, the Leftard Colostomy Bag Reverend of the Church of the SubTarded™ was invited to come down here to Texas to see if he had the same cojones face-to-face that he does spewing his methane whilst hiding behind his keyboard. Or his skank, whichever smells least like tuna this evening.
Best he could do is have his sock puppet, "Von Vockerman", offer a meager pittance of $66 to go up to Tennessee, ostensibly for a "showdown" (what, Socko, did you think I was gonna hitchhike?). Neither the plays-with-inflatable-dolls pussy nor the $66 has ever darkened my doorstep. (Neither have any of his needle-dick-slurping sycophants - not even the ones who live in the next county, eh, "Firefox"? - but that's another post for another time.)
I'm still waiting, nancy-boy. But if that's your picture on your "new" blog, I think I understand why you've never shown your ugly ass here. Hell, I think Michael Crook could probably beat the shit out of you.
Incidentally, did you ever figure out whether you lived in Alexandria or Arlington? Inquiring minds, y'know.
Of course, you could always go take that M-1 pop-gun of yours and help out the Al-Qaida insurgency in Iraq that you love so. Their ranks are getting kinda thin, so I imagine they could use a hand.
But then, maybe not. Even the insurgents have more balls than a weak-assed little pussy like you. Hell, I understand that one of the inflatable dollies beat your ass into the ground the other day. Wonder if YouTube has that vid? 
Fucking asswipe.
Posted by sgc284 at 11:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 10, 2008
Heterophobes: Going through the courts to get what they can't any other way
Denizens, those of you remaining from The Six Or Seven Who Used To Regularly Read Me™, if you've paid attention to me for any length of time at all, know me for having said this: With the heterophobic community, despite all their lispy-assed, manaical bleatings to the contrary over the years, it's never been the slightest bit about "tolerance" with them. It has always been, and always will be, about acceptance. What they want, more than anything else - save, perhaps, for their next in-through-the-out-door tryst - is for us to say that what they do is perfectly okay. An eminently acceptable "alternative lifestyle". Just another "choice" for said lifestyle.
Which, as you have always heard me tell you, is the one thing I will never say. There is NoWayInHell™ that His Rudeness™ will ever give the sodomite community the green light to have their little swishyfests. The practice of homosexuality was perversion in the ancient times; it is perversion today; it will be perversion tomorrow; it will always be perversion. Period, end, stop.
Thus, it should come as no surprise how pissed-off I am about the Pathetic Pussified Pinktards™ trying to shove both their "lifestyle" and their agenda down the throats of those of us in Flyover Country™. It's already happening in Canada, where Focus on the Family's James Dobson has been forced to edit his message, lest the Canorkian half-assed excuse-for-a-government do it for them at the point of a gun (they had already forced another Christian ministry out of their pathetic country previously).
Within the last few months, the Demoscum chief needle-dick executive of Colorado, Widdle Willie Witter, signed into law a blatantly un-Constitutional piece of shit that can theoretically outlaw certain portions of the Bible - a move that Focus calls a payback to the Butt-Buddy Brigade™ for helping to put his sorry little ass in office.
But now we have something that just might take the cake. A smarmy little pissant limp-wrist has filed two lawsuits totalling $70 million against two of the largest Bible publishers in the world.
A homosexual man who has a blog on Sen. Barack Obama's campaign website
Pray tell, why are we not surprised that Swishy Boy here is involved with B. HUSSEIN!!!!!1!ONE! Obambi?
Jackass-i-miah Wrong, the Left Pfoul-mouth Pfelching Pfather Pfuckhead Pfleger, and now this guy? Day-um, Flopears the Manchurian Muslim sure knows how to pick his associates, doesn't he?
is suing two major Christian publishers for violating his constitutional rights and causing emotional pain, because the Bible versions they publish refer to homosexuality as a sin.
That's nothing compared to the pain the little pussy is in for when he shuffles off our little mortal coil here, I'd be willing to wager.
Bradley LaShawn FowlerBwadwee LaThhawwwwn Fowwer [Fixed it for ya. -Ed.], 39, of Canton, Mich., is seeking $60 million from Zondervan and another $10 million from Thomas Nelson Publishing in lawsuits filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan, the Grand Rapids Press reported.
Wow. Suing to make the First Amendment un-Constitutional. What a novel concept. What'll they think of next?
Fowler filed his claim against Grand Rapids-based Zondervan Monday, alleging its Bibles' references to homosexuality as a sin have made him an outcast from his family and contributed to physical discomfort
Translation: Mom, Dad and whatever brothers he has knocked the shit out of him and threw his swishy, skanky ass out of the house.
and periods of "demoralization, chaos
There's confirmation on getting his ass thrown out of the house.
and bewilderment," the paper said.
Bewilderment, most likely, about why his rapidly-dwindling list of normal male friends weren't terribly interested in a friendly (*cough*) little game of hide-the-salami.
U.S. District Judge Julian Abele Cook Jr. refused Monday to appoint an attorney to represent Fowler in the Thomas Nelson case, saying the court "has some very genuine concerns about the nature and efficacy of these claims."
Now this guy Cook may be the only sensible party (other than Zondervan and Nelson) in this whole affair. No, absolutely don't let this total waste of oxygen have his own counsel. He's written a book under the moniker "Bradley Almighty" - let the dumb little syphilitic sow save himself with his own counsel.
Fowler alleges both Zondervan and Thomas Nelson, with its King James Bible, manipulated Scripture without informing the public by using the term "homosexuals" in a New Testament passage, 1 Corinthians 6:9.
Perhaps this legal Einstein here can, in his infinite wisdom (*coughbullshitcoughbullshitcough*), tell us Great Unwashed Masses™ just what Constitutional article, Constitutional amendment, U.S. law, state law or city ordinance requires that a Bible publisher give any sort of notice whatsoever just what it puts in its publications in the first place?!
(*massive amounts of crickets*)
Yeah, uh-huh. Thought so...
He told the Grand Rapids TV station in an interview he wants to "compensate for the past 20 years of emotional duress and mental instability."
Yeah, I'm totally on board with the "mental instability" bit. Five'll get you ten it extends to "emotional" and "psychological", as well.
On his personal blog's "About Me" page, Fowler says that while serving a sentence in the Michigan Department of Corrections
Ah, now the truth comes out. Quite easy to see the cause of all the "instability". Serving a stint as Bubba's bitchipoo will do that to a guy. Whaddya wanna bet that's where he learned to better appreciate how to give receive and receive?
he "gained a sincere interest" in the Bible's teachings and, over a 10 year period, "became so engrossed within" the Scriptures, he couldn't do much more than eat and sleep
That, and take it up the ass every night from whichever prison gang won the nightly craps shoot.
Bwadwee, you're nothing but a failed widdle jailhouse lawyer. You're in way over your head on this one, and it's all because you can't handle the truth that you're a freakish, effeminate little faggot puke with delusions of adequacy.
Yeah - I just called you a faggot, Bwadwee. Whyn't you come sue me like you're doing with Zondervan & Nelson? C'mon, needle-dicked little assclown - I dare you.
In fact, come serve the papers yourself, dipshit. You can get an instant response from me - 38/100 of a rejoinder at a time.
Stupid little pansy-assed fuckhead.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 09, 2008
Damned good news for a change
Denizens, the Red Curtain O' Blood™ has once again made its way over my eyes tonight, but I'm posting this with basically only one eye-half open. Ergo, watch for the rant tomorrow night.
In the meantime, I have some damned good news worth a 
or three.
According to Mexican consulate officials in Dallas, some 400 immigrant families have told them so far this year that they're going back to Mexico and asked for transfer documents to enroll their children in Mexican schools.Enrique Hubbard Urrea, Mexican consul general in Dallas, said it is impossible to track every Mexican who leaves the area. But he said the number asking for transfer documents at the consulate is on the rise.
At a rate of eight per family average - yes, I'm being conservative on that estimate; why do you ask? - that's 3200 down, 19,996,800 left to go.
According to informal surveys by the Mexican consulate in Dallas, most of those wanting to return to Mexico cite the sudden scarcity of jobs, fear of deportation and uncertainty about obtaining legal resident status any time soon.In the last few years, and particularly the last few months, Mr. Sánchez struggled to find work. His earnings dwindled as his children grew up and their needs multiplied.
"People like me, if you don't work one day, you worry about how to feed your family the next day," he said. "We as immigrant workers never have stability, even if the economy is doing well. Imagine how things are now."
"Can't deport 'em all", eh, Linguinispineya???
Hell, it's like we've been trying to tell you - you, and anyone else who'd listen: Take away their reason for being here, and the little pendejo fuckers will deport themselves.
And this doesn't hurt things, either:
Also, he said, there is growing anti-immigrant sentiment that he would rather not experience anymore."Those of us who live here live depressed all the time, in hiding," he said. "They don't like us here, and those who love us and whom we love are far away. I prefer to go back, even if it means living in poorer conditions."
Mr. Hubbard said tougher enforcement of immigration laws in the last few years hasn't gone unnoticed.
"Some say companies fear hiring people without proper documents," he said.
He said others are seeing authorities detain more people in Irving, Farmers Branch and, to a lesser degree, Carrollton.
Damned effin' straight. See, guys, they can be, uh, "persuaded" that they've maybe overstayed their welcomme a little bit.
Don't let the door hit you en los pompis on the way out, ilegales.
We paid a lot for that door.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 08, 2008
Jesse Helms: 1921 - 2008 (UPDATED)
They buried one hell of a conservative voice today. Jesse Helms, a hero of the conservative movement and a man who almost never caved in to leftard political pressure, died of natural causes on the Fourth of July. Most appropriate, since Thomas Jefferson and John Adams also shuffled off this mortal coil on that date.
Misha, as usual has waxed most eloquently on Helms' passing, and there's NoWayInHell™ I could possibly improve on it. Denizen & fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson has some of Jesse's greatest hits (incidenatlly, AKH, it's not spelled with an "i", just fyi).
They tried to derisively label him "Senator No". He wore it like a badge of honor. He was genteel & cordial to even his fiercest political opponents, but he never gave a fat rat's ass what the leftards thought of him, either.
I wish there were more in the Imperial Socialist Congress like Jesse Helms. (Perhaps if there were, we wouldn't be calling them the Imperial Socialist Congress.) We need more like him.
UPDATE: Slightly red-faced thanks to Denizen & fellow blogger David Hartung for pointing out to me that I'd screwed up yet another link.
That's what I get for blogging with only one eye open.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 07, 2008
Memo to Pay-Rod
All I have to say is that for what this is gonna cost you, I hope that Louise at least put out for you a little bit.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 05, 2008
Wedding bells & Gratuitous Gun Pr0n™!!!!!
As some of you probably know, the Sibling Unit™ put on the Dreaded & Feared Ball & Chain™ today, which is where I've been all day instead of gracing you guys with My Eternal Wisdom™.
But I did, some time back, promise you Gratuitous Gun Pr0n!!!!!!!!1!!ONE~1™ - and I like to keep my promises.
So, without further adieu...
This is a Bersa Thunder 380cc - a .380 semi-auto handgun (duh!) that produced very nice groupings on the first time out. It is now the carry piece of choice - which was the intent all along (in fact, it hid very nicely in an internal holster during the Sibling Unit™'s Last Meal™ as a single guy last evening). It handles well, fits superbly in the hand - and, as mentioned earlier, has superior groupings. (The "cc" stands, obviously, for "concealed carry" - but I figure you guys already knew that. )
This would be a fine piece with which to qualify for a CHL - and, when mine's up for renewal in a couple years, that's just what I'm gonna do. 
Posted by sgc284 at 08:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 04, 2008
Happy 232nd Birthday, America!!!
"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."
---July 2nd, 1776
Remember why, Denizens. It may soon be that time again.
Posted by sgc284 at 07:56 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 03, 2008
BREAKING: Larry "Bozo" Harmon: 1925 - 2008
Oh, dammit.
We lost an icon today, Denizens. Larry Harmon, whom I know for a fact you all know better as Bozo the Clown, has passed away of congestive heart failure. He was 83.
He wasn't the original Bozo, and certainly there have been others who donned the orange-frizzed wig, huge cherry-red nose, the red, white and powder-blue outfit and the size 83AAA (his words) - but no one played the character better.
"I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet, (people) would never be able to forget those footprints," he said.
The Realm's prayers are with the Harmon family tonight. We loved Larry, and he will be sorely missed.
Posted by sgc284 at 09:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 01, 2008
Say what?
Item: Jessica Simpson was spotted wearing a t-shirt that said, and I quote, "Real Girls Eat Meat".
Item: It pissed PETA off. Good.
Item: Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever she humps next tries a rip job on Jessica. Rumor has it that the "choice" name she called Jessica was "whore".
Yeah. You read right. Jessica Simpson got called a "whore" by Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever's-next.
Must...fight...urge...to...aw, hell with it.
Posted by sgc284 at 10:16 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack