LSIK&T:  I don't suppose you have any Generic Acetominiphen-Based Pain Reliever Food Substitute™ over there, do you, Allan-a-Dale?

[I hate it when he calls me that.]

LSIK&T:  I know.  That's why I do it. 

[Sorry, m'lord, no.  McCool took the last six I had - something about too much Romulan ale again.]

LSIK&T:  That does it; I'm getting me a sober Chief Engineer.  [The chime sounds again.]  WHAT?!?!?!?!?

[A holographic figure rises from the floor.  As Spats was earlier, this figure is also wearing a hooded cloak.]

HOODED FIGURE:  You have done well, my you...my middle-aged padawan.

[Spats squints at the figure with one half-open eye.]

LSIK&T:  Aren't you dead?

HOODED FIGURE:  What I am or am not is not important.  What is  important---

LSIK&T:  And I'm not your padawan, either!  You never gave me  any formal Sith training, Palpy, remember?  I learned at the hand of Darth Mortis, if you'll recall.

HOODED FIGURE:  You will properly address me as 'Master', my apprentice.

LSIK&T:  You're lucky I'm only calling you Palpy, and I said  I'm not your padawan!

HOODED FIGURE:  But you have  used your Sith talents again.  I felt the disturbance in the Force.  It is why I am here - to start you back on your training.

LSIK&T:  Well, to paraphrase a little green mutual acquaintance of ours, I need no further training.  Already know all I'm going to need.

HOODED FIGURE:  You know nothing of the Dark Side of the Force, padawan.  You still require much training to become truly powerful.

LSIK&T:  I already am  truly powerful.  I'm alive, have my powers and  rule my own little part of the galaxy.

[Spats raises an eyebrow at the hooded hologram]

LSIK&T:  Which is more than I can say for you  as of late.

[A look of extreme rage crosses the hooded one's face and he raises his arms and reaches out towards His Rudeness.]

LSIK&T (quickly):  But if it'll make you happy - and  get you out of my hair - I suppose I can go by my Sith name a little more often.  Satisfied?

HOODED FIGURE:  It is your name as chosen by the Sith Brotherhood.  You are required to identify yourself by that name.

LSIK&T:  You forget, Palpy - I'm a free man.  The Sith long ago demonstrated they did not need me - nor I them, for that matter.

[At that moment, the migraine decides to remind Our Hero™ just why he's in his quarters in the first place.  Spats winces noticeably.]

LSIK&T:  Nor do I need you  RightAboutNow™.  Off with you, before I scramble yer molecules.

HOODED FIGURE:  This is not yet over, my padawan.  You will address me as "Master" eventually.  I have foreseen it.

LSIK&T:  Yeah, yeah, just like you foresaw Endor.  Now git!!!

[The image fades from view.  It is replaced by the ship's intercom.]

KORRIOTH (over speaker):  Bridge to the Admiral.  We are within visual range of the Shelliak homeworld.  They have sent another "welcoming committee"; you may wish to see this.

LSIK&T (under breath):  Aw, shit.  (towards speaker) Very well, Captain.  I'm on my way.

(To be continued...)