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I don’t remember Arlington Heights ever having a winless season.

But after that travesty Saturday night, it’s not out of the question.

Arlington Heights 7, Paschal 42

at #24 TCU 38, SE Louisiana 17

at Liberty 45, Monmouth 15

Houston 31, at San Diego 28

I fell asleep in my Comfy Chair&#153 before Texan-Charger, and didn’t wake up until it was over.

I missed the Texans coming from a 21-point deficit to win on Randy Bullock’s last-second 41-yard field goal.

“Once you put a score on the board, then another, and the defense gets a stop, the big turnover, it just builds,” said [quarterback Matt] Schaub, who bounced back from an interception on Houston’s first play to pass for 346 yards. “Momentum keeps building, and you can feel that energy, and it’s contagious.”

Brian Cushing returned an interception 18 yards for the tying touchdown with 9:30 to play for the Texans, who erased a 28-7 deficit late in the third quarter to spoil the debut of Chargers coach Mike McCoy.

After two straight division titles and playoff trips, the Texans have ample experience in handling trouble together. Schaub provided steady leadership, and their vaunted defense held San Diego to 90 yards — just 7 on the ground — in the second half.

—

Maybe I should’ve given Monmouth the SpatulaLine.&#160

Liberty scored five unanswered touchdowns before Monmouth managed to rally slightly in the fourth quarter with a 42-yard Greg DePugh touchdown pass to Zach Fabel and an Eric Spillane field goal. But it was too little too late.

—

SE Lousiana may have just saved TCU’s season…by taking out Casey Pachall.

Pachall, who missed most of last season after an arrest on suspicion of drunken driving, injured his left forearm at the end of a running play late in the second quarter, didn’t return and was ruled out of TCU’s Big 12 opener at Texas Tech on Thursday night.

“Probably not good,” TCU coach Gary Patterson said, declining to offer any specifics. “He won’t play next week. I can promise you that.”

Later, the university confirmed to ESPN.com that Pachall had surgery on his non-throwing arm and is expected to miss multiple games.

Thing about it was, Pachall wasn’t impressing anyone prior to getting hurt.&#160 And he sure as Hell&#153 wasn’t moving the TCU offense.

And after he got hurt, Trevon Boykin came in – and basically got the offense going, helping the Frogs score 24 unanswered points to put the game away.

Pachall’s had surgery on his left arm, and will be out at least eight weeks.&#160 Which may be the best thing for the Frogs, at least this season.

—

WITY&#153?

I’m gonna go out on a limb and call for a Yellow Jacket victory, given that the Panthers have been generally atrocious the last few years.

If I’m wrong, expect me to be the first one to call for Phillip Young’s head.

Fire Phillip Young.&#160 Now.

At least Todd Whitten could beat Paschal.

It’s 0-2 now…and if you can’t beat Paschal, you very likely can’t beat anyone.

Get this poser out of here now.

This week:&#160 3-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 4-3.

The PFW returns Thursday, when we once again shake our collective head at the thuggery that is Ndamukong Suh.

…is about to meet the immovable object.

As you may or may not know, Denizens, a…somewhat sizable…group of bikers is planning to ride on the Putrid Pussified Pustule&#153 known as “Washington, DC” on 9/11.

As it happens, a group of ragheads Muslims Mooselimbs ragheads is scheduled for what they’re calling a “Million Muslim March” on that same day.

Both groups applied for “permits”.&#160 As if it’s really needed in our case – that bloody document called the Bill Of Rights says “right to peaceably assemble” for a reason, y’know.

The Muzztards got their permit.

The bikers…didn’t.

So they’re going, anyway.

Washington DC has DENIED our permit for a no-stop ride through Washington DC. We find this regretful for the residents and businesses of that great city, and humbly offer our apologies. What could have been a one or two hour ride through will now likely be an all day event. We will be obeying all laws. We will be stopping at all stoplights, stop signs, and yielding to all pedestrians.

RESIDENTS AND BUSINESSES OF WASHINGTON DC: On behalf of the National “2 Million Bikers to DC” Team, please accept our sincere apologies. We did the right thing and went through the proper channels to secure a no-stop permit to ride through your great city. We wanted to ride an established route, which would have taken us past the Viet Nam Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial, across the bridge into Virginia, and that’s it! We would have been completely out of Washington DC, and your city would have been back to normal.

“Permits?&#160 We don’ need no steekin’ permits!”

Good luck managing all that, Bambi&#160

Denizens, this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend begins with that unconvicted criminal, Ray Lewis (RET-Baltimore Ravens), whining & sniveling about the Ravens’ victory in Super Bowl XLVII.

(As you may remember, the lights went out during the third quarter for about half an hours; upon restoration, the San Transexual Fairy-Whiners staged a comeback.)

The Baltimore Ravens led by 22 when the lights went out in the Superdome during Super Bowl XLVII. Ray Lewis is convinced that bizarre occurrence was far from a coincidence.

On the Ravens’ “America’s Game” documentary, Lewis hinted without much subtlety that the power outage may have been a ploy to help the 49ers regroup.

“I’m not gonna accuse nobody of nothing — because I don’t know facts,” Lewis said, according to USA Today. “But you’re a zillion-dollar company, and your lights go out? No. No way.

“You cannot tell me somebody wasn’t sitting there and when they say, ‘The Ravens [are] about to blow them out. Man, we better do something.’ … That’s a huge shift in any game, in all seriousness. And as you see how huge it was because it let them right back in the game.”

Well, for saying you’re “not gonna accuse nobody of nothing” – you seem to be accusing someone – you just don’t know whom.

As for this “can’t tell me” bullshit – son, you cannot tell me&#160 you weren’t involved in a double murder down around Atlanta 13 years ago.

Can you?

Let’s get on with the football.&#160 It’s the 91st edition of the old Arlington Heights-Paschal rivalry tonight Saturday night (damn you, Intelligence —Venomous) at Farrington Field in Fort Worth, and I’m gonna go out on a limb and call for a Yellow Jacket victory, given that the Panthers have been generally atrocious the last few years.

If I’m wrong, expect me to be the first one to call for Phillip Young’s head.

Also Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 24th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs have their home opener (last week notwithstanding) against Division I-AA Southeast Lousiana.&#160 Vegas has the Froggies as a 42&#189-point home favorite, and Gary – if he wants even a sniff at the national championship – best cover and then some.

In addition, Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames have their home opener against Monmouth (Miles Austin’s alma mater).&#160 We may not even need a SpatulaLine here, as Monmouth doesn’t look like their very good.

UPDATE:&#160 Great Honkin’ Cthulhu, what the hell was I on when I was spelling half this stuff?

And if you’re ready for some football, it’ll be Gary Kubiak’s Houston Texans heading westward for some Monday Night Football against the San Diego Chargers.&#160 The Texans are a 4&#189-point road favorite, which generally means a field goal decides it.

We’ll see.

We’re back Tuesday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime…

MERLIN:&#160 Uh, m’liege?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yes, Wizard?

MERLIN:&#160 What about the Cowgirlz?

VENOMOUS:&#160 They’re not in the PFW this year, remember?

MERLIN:&#160 Ah.

VENOMOUS:&#160 But if it’ll make you happy, they’re at home Sunday night against the NY Football Douchebags, which means they’ll lose.

MERLIN:&#160 As you wish, m’lord.

See you Tuesday.

Bambi’s wanting to go toss some grenades (I’m working on my understatement.&#160 How do you like it?) at Syria.

If there were a vote RightAboutNow&#153, he’d get his ass handed him.

The Praetor of the Ronulan Empire (aka Ron Paul), says it would be an “historic defeat”.

I’d call it Congress just doing its fucking job.&#160 And long-effing-overdue, truth be told.

It was so bad that the broadcast team’s “Player of the Game” was someone that didn’t even play.

But that wasn’t even the half of it.

Arlington Heights 7, Birdville 48

#20 Texas Christian 27, #12 Lousy-ana Skank U 37

Liberty 10, at Kent State 17

Houston 24, at Dallas 6

Not the best way to start the Phillip Young era.

Running back Kerrion Graves led the Yellow Jackets with 58 yards on 13 carries, including a 9-yard scamper to cap an 11-play drive late in the first half that cut into a 14-point deficit and gave Heights some much-needed momentum heading into halftime.

After forcing the Hawks to punt on the opening possession of the second half, Heights took over in good field position, at their own 40, still trailing by seven.

The Yellow Jackets advanced the ball to their 48 and opted to go for it on fourth-and-2.

The decision backfired. The Hawks reasserted themselves when the defense stuffed the Yellow Jackets forcing a turnover on downs.

Annnnnnnd the Hawks scored the next 34.&#160 Ouch.

—

Liberty actually led this one in the fourth quarter.

Colin Reardon threw a 42-yard touchdown pass to Chris Humphrey late in the fourth quarter as Kent State avoided a season-opening upset with a 17-10 win over Liberty on Thursday night.

The Golden Flashes, coming off the best season in school history, were without running back Dri Archer, being touted by the school as a potential Heisman Trophy candidate who suffered a leg injury early in the game. He had 10 yards on 3 carries.

And Vegas didn’t think this was gonna be close.

—

I will readily concede that two turnovers (and the resulting points off same) decided the game.&#160 Brandon Carter’s irresponsible handling of a kickoff led to an LSU recovery, then to a field goal.&#160 And a Pachall pick led to a Tiger touchdown.

Final margin:&#160 Ten points.&#160 You do the math.

Having said that, I will also say this:

Eleven-on-eighteen, Part the 7,682nd.

We breathe on their wideouts, it’s a flag.&#160 They mug ours, no flag and the bastards at ESPN praise their “tough man defense”.&#160 Lousyana held all fucking night – and it only got called once.

The Big Eleven 13 14 Ten supplied the zebras.&#160 They must still be pissed off at us for beating their champ in the Rose Bowl.

—

How bad was it last Thursday night?

The Silverstar (Cowboys’ in-house) Network’s “Player of the Game” was none other than…former Cowboy wide receiver Michael Irvin.

Who was color announcer for the game.

Most of those who played aren’t on the roster anymore, though some did make the practice squad.&#160 Dallas better hope for damned good health.

This week:&#160 1-2 (Liberty covered the SpatulaLine; the Houston win doesn’t count).

The PFW will return Friday, when RAAAAAY LEWWWWWIIIISSSSSSS&#160 opens his mouth and sticks his size 16’s both in.

Y’know, Denizens, usually I’m in whole-hearted agreement with the good folks over at Downtrend.com – they’re a conservative, anti-Bambi lot whose words I often enjoy reading.

But not this time.

Rapper 2 Chainz and his entire entourage were arrested on drug charges Tuesday, after their bus was stopped for having a broken tail light. After smelling traces of weed and seeing smoke in the bus, the police felt this was enough “probable cause” to search the vehicle.

Got news for you, Nathan Eyre:&#160 the police were right.&#160 Visible smoke, combined with the scent of pot does, indeed, constitute probable cause.

Ain’t no “felt”, nor sneer-quotes about it.

The driver of the bus did not consent to a search, but when the police decide they have probable cause, you are basically screwed. Especially since courts have ruled that the odor of contraband is enough to warrant probable cause.

Yeah, and especially since the gangsta-rappa was, basically, caught with the shit.

You seem to have forgotten that small, nearly-insignificant little part.

Before I talk more about ridiculous drug policy

You mean, before you start sniveling & whining about how the people of this country, in their wisdom, have decided they don’t want your shit in their midst…

lets talk about the real hero in this story: one of the passengers in the the bus held up a copy of the constitution as the police officers searched the vehicle. This is awesome, I mean, what kind of rapper or rapper’s buddy has a copy of the constitution laying around?

What?&#160 As if the Constitution is some sort of fucking get-out-of-jail-free card?

Are you absolutely sure, Eyre, you dumbass, that you’re not writing this while you’re effing high on something?

I bet this isn’t the first time that they have been pulled over and searched. In fact, I love the idea of carrying around a constitution to hold up in officers’ faces as I am arrested.

Yeah, I bet this isn’t the first time you’ve sounded like an asshatted stoner tard.&#160 Especially when it comes to getting your panties all in a bunch over national illegal-drug policy.

There is just something so patriotic about it.

“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”&#160 —John Adams

This also highlights something I have always suspected about the rap community: they are libertarian. Even though some may proclaim to like liberal ideas and liberal politicians, deep down they want the government to leave them and their money alone. In fact, only the rich and connected (Jay Z) are the ones who are such adamant supporters of politicians like Obama.

Okay, now I know&#160 you’re a fucking idiot, Eyre, you douchewad.

Otherwise, do tell why 90-plus percent of blacks voted for B. HUSSEIN!!!!!&#160 Obambi both in 2008 and&#160 2012.

Go ahead.&#160 Use whatever source material from CNN, (P)MSNBC, Wikipedia, Kos’ Krap and the Demoscummic Underground you need.&#160 I’ll wait.

Though I will admit some rappers have a disdain for cops because they are doing activities that are and should be against the law, like assault and robbery, I think that most rappers have run-ins with the law over drugs or gun ownership.

You mean, like most of right-thinking America have a disdain for dumbfuck pissweasels like you?

So, the question remains, how do we convert these rappers to libertarianism and get them to promote the cause of freedom?

I got a better question:&#160 How do we find someone to beat some sense into the fecal matter residing between your ears?

At least, do the rest of the world a favor:&#160 Don’t breed.

[SCENE:&#160 Aboard ISS Vengeance, in His Rudeness’ quarters.&#160 The Admiral is working his way through a massive hangover…]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Would you please&#160 tone it down, Narrator?!

[Of course, m’liege.&#160 I did&#160 try to warn you last night, though, did I not?]

VENOMOUS (nodding):&#160 Yeah, yeah, you did, I know.&#160 No worries, son, just…

[Lord Venomous’ nerves, already on edge, are suddenly rankled by the BZZZZZZT!!!&#160 of the door chime.&#160 In a fit of pique, he executes a flawless Force-throw as he screams at the door.

Nothing moves inside the cabin, but outside, we hear a very loud (though muffled) thump against the opposite bulkhead.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[The door slides open to reveal General Korrioth (slumped agaisnt the bulkhead), Merlin, Ozy, K’hadibak’h, T-Bone, plus more than a few Jawas & Bynars.]

MERLIN:&#160 Begging the Admiral’s pardon, sir, but…it’s time.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Uh…time?

KORRIOTH (standing in the doorway, having regained his senses):&#160 Time, sir.

{The Admiral ponders a moment, then enlightenment dawns.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ah.&#160 Time.&#160 Of course.

[The crew breathes a noticeable sigh of relief.]

—

Denizens, the first official&#160 Perfect Football Weekend of the new year…kicks off…

ALL (including VENOMOUS):&#160 COOORRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!&#160

VENOMOUS:&#160 Good work, everyone.

…kicks off this weekend with the conclusion of the Johnny Football scandal.

Johnny Manziel will be suspended for the first half of this Saturday’s Rice game, according to Billy Liucci of TexAgs and confirmed by a bunch of other media outlets.

ESPN’s Brett McMurphy reports that the suspension “closes the book” on the Johnny Football autograph scandal, and that the NCAA is acknowledging that he never sold his autograph.

If the NCAA found that he accepted money for autographs, the penalty would have been longer.

According to Liucci, they could be punishing him under a secondary violation for allowing the use of his name for a commercial purpose.

Basically, what they’re saying is that they’re nailing Manziel for signing footballs that he should have known&#160 would probably likely&#160 be sold on the open market.

Maybe.

UPDATE:&#160 An explanation here.&#160 We have a concept in these here United States, known somewhat colloquially as innocent until proven guilty.&#160 Generally, it means something has to have happened that violates our laws, and that he/she whom would have perpetrated the illegal deed must have been proven&#160 to have done it BEFORE&#160 punishment is to be handed down or implemented.

By punishing Manziel for something illegal that hasn’t happened, the NCAA is practicing “guilty until proven innocent – something which is blatantly un-Constitutional, and flagrantly deprives Manziel of his civil and Constitutional rights.

And to top it all off, the NCAA even admits that Manziel didn’t make any money from the signings.

A&M senior associate athletics director Jason Cook told USA TODAY Sports both the school and the NCAA found “there is no evidence Manziel received monetary reward in exchange for autographs.”

But the NCAA and the school agreed that student-athletes should know that when signing numerous autographs in one sitting, such autographs are likely to be sold for commercial purposes.

Which, I might remind you, hasn’t happened yet.&#160 Thus, no violation of any regulation has occured.

If I were Manziel, I’d’ve been on the horn to my attorney months ago.&#160 And I’d have the NoCojonesAtAll excuse-for-an-organization by the short hairs.

These buncha bastards are one sick joke.

Let’s get on with the football.&#160 It’s Week Zero in Texas hah skrewl&#160 (a little Rush lingo, there) football, and for my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, the Phillip Young Era&#153 is probably going to begin pretty much the same way the Todd Whitten Era&#153 did – with a massive squash at the hands of the Birdville Hawks.

The game’s in Fort Worth this year.&#160 So much for a home-field advantage.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 20th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs are at Cowboys AT&T Stadium (damn you, Owner Jethro) to entertain the 12th-ranked LSU Tigers.

There’s this pussy roaming the Fort Worth Startlegram’s sports chat boards calls himself “USMC” that’s been crowing “Tiger Bait” all damned summer long.&#160 Probably won’t happen (TCU’s a 4&#189-point road dog), but I’d pay real money if the Frogs could shut down the Tigers – and ROTC the douchetard, as well.

Someone in my Intelligence Division is going to get their head handed them.&#160 I’m finding out only now that Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames are trailing in the 2nd quarter to the Kent State Golden Flashes, 0-7.

Vegas didn’t post a line, so, they’re expecting a major squash.&#160 The SpatulaLine&#153 is, therefore, 35 – keep it within that, Turner, and it’ll count.

Tonight, however, Gary Kubiak’s Houston Texans are coming here to the aforementioned AT&T Stadium (damn you, Owner Jethro) to take on the Dallas Cowgirlz.

Houston’s gonna play all their regulars, and Dallas is hardly gonna play any, so expect a monumental ass-kicking.&#160 However, it’s still preseason, so it won’t count in the overall record.

We’re back Sunday or Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, given recent intelligence…I don’t give a shit where&#160 HDD is…

DIE, SWINE, DIE!!!!!&#160

Justice.

Buford.&#160 T.&#160 Justice.

At the Video Music Awards a couple days ago, Miley Cyrus…well, let’s just say she took a page from the Britney Spears playbook and oops, she did it again:

Just when people began to relax after Gaga’s not-so-weird performance, the real sucker punch of the night came: when the girl who was still a practically a Disney princess while Gaga was rocking a meat dress – Miley Cyrus hit the stage.

Cyrus stepped up and assumed the throne for the strangest, most provocative performer at this year’s VMAs, fitting nicely into the crown for Queen of Obscene, funny hair horns and all.

The singer emerged in a furry gray leotard with the face of a seemingly-intoxicated teddy bear to perform her single “We Can’t Stop.” Following the theme of her music video, she was backed up by a gaggle of dancers with the giant teddy bear backpacks, folks in teddy bear suits, and the World’s Tallest Burlesque Dancer, Amazon Ashley, who stands at 6’7”.

Living up to her reputation for shamelessly working it, she didn’t disappoint as she playfully bounced, popped and thrust through the song that had viewers in a trance.

Once Robin Thicke came out to perform what is probably the song of summer ’13, “Blurred Lines,” Cyrus shed the fun fur to reveal a very Gaga-esque nude vinyl bikini, not much unlike the latex getup Gaga wore at the 2011 Grammys. And she just kept twerking like she copyrighted the move.

At this point, I have to wonder if Billy Ray ever gave her the ass-whipping she likely deserved while growing up.

Doesn’t seem like it, y’know?

There may be an Executive Decision&#153 regarding the Houston Texans even before these start counting for real.

Carolina 34, at Baltimore 24

Seattle 17, at Green Bay 10

at Dallas 24, Cincinnati 18

New Orleans 31, at Houston 23

at San Transexual 34, Minne-haha 14

Watch out.&#160 Teddy Ginn’s back.

Ted Ginn Jr. returned a punt 74 yards for a touchdown, and the Carolina Panthers’ defense scored three times in a 34-27 preseason victory over the mistake-prone Baltimore Ravens on Thursday night.

Drayton Florence took an interception 71 yards into the end zone, Thomas Davis scored on a 2-yard fumble return and linebacker Luke Kuechly picked off another of Joe Flacco’s passes late in the second quarter to set up a 54-yard field goal by Graham Gano for a 24-7 lead.

Carolina (2-1) had just 67 yards in offense before halftime, yet reeled off 24 consecutive points after Baltimore (2-1) scored on its first possession.

The light appears to be going on in Ron Rivera’s defense. The NFC South could be in a bit o’ trouble.

—

Christine Michael ran for 97 yards and Stephen Williams snatched a ball from cornerback Loyce Means in the end zone for a 42-yard touchdown catch in the Seattle Seahawks’ 17-10 preseason victory over the Green Bay Packers on Friday night.

—

About the only exciting thing that happened at ViQueen-FairyWhiner was that three drunken, limp-wristed fools invaded the field during play.&#160 Whether they were streaking or not is anyone’s guess, as NBC stupidly dutifully cut away to a shot from the circling blimp.&#160 Presumably, one of the “streakers” got blindsided by a Whiner lineback, but that’s only hearsay.

—

This Cowboy team looks better right now than at any time during the last three years.

Yes, Romo/Orton/Tanney were sacked their share of times, but Romo to Dez Bryant positively shredded&#160 the Bengal defense.&#160 And when it wasn’t Bryant, it was Romo to Austin (a number of good catches, plus a touchdown in the back of the end zone.

The running game didn’t look like a turtle mired in molasses, and the line – after a couple of fuck-ups early – actually looked like an offensive line.&#160 Doug Free moved inside to guard, and while they probably won’t go with that lineup in two weeks vs the Douchebags, it performed well Saturday night.

The defense got another couple of turnovers, and didn’t allow the Cincinnati first-team offense to score.&#160 In fact, the only first-half points the Bengals got were from a 75-yard punt return.

Which brings me to the special teams.&#160 Rich Bisaccia is making no one forget about Joe DeCamillis – and DeCamillis was awful.

—

The General informs me that the Texans were playing without Brian Cushing & JJ Watt.&#160 And Arian Foster didn’t play all that much.&#160 Okay, point(s) conceded.

Still, you should be able to score more than 23 points against a team learning a 3-4 defense from Rob Fucking Ryan&#160 of all people.&#160 And if this, Game 3, is traditionally considered the Dress Rehersal&#153 game…

The PFW will return Thursday, when things start on the high school & college levels for reals, and we chronicle (sort of) the Governor’s Cup.

Oh, and the second-guesses?

Perhaps the Cowgirls can play their way back into the PFW…

Got this from a friend of mine on FB.

1. There shall always be bacon in the house. Always.

2. There isn’t a food that doesn’t go on well with bacon. Not even ice cream.

3. There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who love bacon and those who do not.

4. Bacon is so tasty even pigs will eat it.

5. There is no wrong way to cook, boil or fry bacon.

6. Most of the world’s problems can be solved with more bacon. Fact.

7. Meals without bacon are simply not meals.

8. You shall consume bacon every day of the week.

9. Bacon makes everything taste better. Just add bacon.

10. Bacon will get you laid.

So that’s&#160 why I never get laid…&#160

While watching Entertainment Tonight (it was on after local news here following the Cowboy game), I’m told that Katy Perry was “surprised” that the stalkerazi papperazi began following her circa 2008.

Response:&#160 This is news?

Katy, honeybunch – you’re a limp-wrist-supporting bimbo airhead with larger-than-normal tits – tits that you like to flash portions of at every opportunity.

Why wouldn’t&#160 the Lame-Assed Mediots follow you?

…to get what they can’t get any other way.

Oh, no…all they wanted was “equality”.

They were never&#160 going to force gay marriage on us, NoSirreeBob&#153.

Well…not until now, anyway.

Millionaire gay couple the Drewitt-Barlows have confirmed they have launched a legal challenge to the right of churches to opt out of gay weddings.

In fresh comments published by the Chelmsford Weekly News in the U.K. today, Barrie Drewitt-Barlow said legal action had started.

“We’ve launched a challenge to the government’s decision to allow some religious groups to opt out of marrying same-sex couples,” he said.

“We feel we have the right as parishioners in our village to utilize the church we attend to get married.

Whether that church wants to or not (although, to hear these faggots tell it, this one does.&#160 (And yes – I called them faggots.&#160 Don’t like it?&#160 Come fucking do&#160 something about it.))

They don’t want equal rights.&#160 It’s never&#160 been about equal rights.&#160 The heterophobes have the same rights as do you & I.

What they&#160 want are special privileges.&#160 They want to force us to accept their hallowed practice of getting their rocks off by sticking their dicks in each other’s asses, and they want us to say it’s morally – and legally – okay.

And as I have said time, and time, and time again – as long as I have breath, there will be at least one soul on Planet Earth that says to them, “Go to Hell”.

Now, this is the UK, so we don’t have to worry about it yet, though we in the Realm&#153 continue to grieve the collapse of British society.

But woe be to the bastards who try it over here.&#160 You won’t like what happens.

Bank on that.

Denizens, as we start another Perfect Football Weekend&#153, talk in the world of College F’ball, You Bet!&#153 is on Johnny Football Johnny Signature Johnny Manziel, the defending Heisman Trophy winner, and Signature-gate, where multiple “brokers” (read:&#160 pissant swine) are claiming that he sold his signature for approximately seven large.&#160 (That’s $7,000 for those of you in Mykki Chickenshit’s Church of the SubTarded.)

There’s talk of suspensions & whatnot, but one Moaning Snooze columnist seems to think nothing’ll come of it:

The rub might be if Texas A&M decides to suspend him pending a finding by the NCAA. If he plays before the NCAA makes a ruling, they might make the Aggies void any wins he plays in. But I think the Aggies might be willing to roll the dice on that.

My take on it is, what’s the big deal?&#160 He’s making money doing something he’s done, independent of the NCAA, for nearly his entire life – signing his name.&#160 There are some things the NCAA just can’t control, and this is one of them – or should be, anyway.

On to the football.&#160 Right now, Raven is coming back on Panther in Baltimore (it’s 34-24, Carolina, as I write this).&#160 Baltimore’s apparently contracted a case of the Dallas Oopsies&#153 (in other words, they’ve coughed up the ball a few times), but they seem to be coming back.

Friday night, CBS will have Seahawk-Packer from the frrrroooooozzzzzennnnnnnnn tunnnnnnnndrrrrrraaaaaaaa&#160 (a little Chris Berman lingo, there)

Saturday, this house will be watching Cowgirl-Bengal.&#160 My first chance to see Andy Dalton.&#160 Woo hoo!&#160 &#160 In addition, CBS will have Ram-Bronco from Denver.&#160 Peyton should have a field day.

Saint-Texan and ViQueen-FairyWhiner on Sunday round out the schedule.

As usual, I’ll have comment on anything I get to see.&#160 Recaps with links if not.&#160 And I’ll try to make it on Monday if I can.

See you then.

The Vicar wonders what the General’s response will be when Private(E1) Manning’s request for transgender hormone therapy arrives on his desk.