His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the work He performed on the cross that allowed me to receive His salvation.  (An aside:  Yeah, in case anyone didn't know - I'm a Christian.  Not anywhere close to being the best example thereof, to be sure, but I'm still being worked on, and you're just gonna have to be patient.)

Being an American, and free to worship as I choose.

My current home - a two-bedroom jobber I share with a chow/schnau(zer) and a huge yellow lump that masquerades as a cat.  Not the cozy cottage in Forney, but at least I have an office again from which to pen (pen?) these screeds.

My son - Stephen Geoffrey "Skip" Crager, Jr.  (although his doublewide-assed mother insists on calling him "Geoffrey").

Friends & family, some more than others.  Even the ones who are diametrically opposed to me in their beliefs.

Employment.  Make that "pending employment".  Specifically, mine as a desktop technician, where I get to play with computers all day long - in effect, getting paid to practice my hobby. 

Note:  Since the last time I ran this column, Cingular Wireless (as you all know by now) dropped the guillotine on my head.  Fuck you, Cingular.

Thankfully, I start a new gig on Monday, for a company known to me and only to me - since I know  pussies like Cianderella Tierney, who bitched long and loud about me being a NetKKKop before having his ass exposed as a lying skank that doesn't work at EDS, would love to find out where I work and try to get me fired...

Okay, where was I...?

MP3s.  The ability to take all my all-time favorite songs, regardless of format, and transfer them to something I can listen to in my car.  Fuck you,  Hilary Rosen.

Turkey.  Lots of it, preferably drumsticks.

Leftovers.  Turkey sandwiches with lots of mustard.  YEAH!

(Well, hold the bread on that.  I have got to-got to-got to  start paying more attention to Atkins.)

An American President who, though he is still not completely trustworthy in my eye, is at least giving the impression that he is, at least, trying - which is a damn sight better than what we could have had, hm?  And at least this guy understands that the Presidency isn't just one big frat party.

The election which he won handily on November 2nd.  Thank you, America.

The military which he commands.  Peepz, these men & women do a helluva job protecting you and yours and the freedoms you enjoy, and they do it for pretty much next to nothing.  Next time you see one, take a moment to say, "Thank you".  (Another aside:  When I first posted this, I left out one very important group of guys:  the Coast Guard.  Unconscionable, since one of my readers served in that very branch.  Mr.  Slagle, my apologies - and my thanks.)

My car:  A 2005 Chevy Cavalier.  Quick, cozy, and twice the gas mileage of my old truck.  In this day and age, that's important.  For $10 more per month, I get all that, plus a 5/50 warranty.  Good stuff, that.

A seafood restaurant chain here locally by the name of "Ole Whiskers".  Catfish, chicken, ribs, stuffed crab, onion rings, and a host of other great stuff.  Catfish topped with Tabasco™ sauce has become a staple.

My current box - a Pentium 2.66-GHz with 2 gigs (yeah - gigs) of DDR RAM.  Two 21" monitors so that I don't have to squint anymore when I write these things.  (Well, not much, anyway - at 1280x1024, things are still awfully small.)

The aforementioned crap-on-the-carpet dog - she's still a precious little lapdog, and she captures the heart of anyone that meets her.  My cat - the aforementioned yellow lump - who has finally developed a sense of affection for his master.  :-) Even my brother's little min-pin, Mindy - one of the most affectionate dogs you'll ever see.

Ham.  Not as much as a turkey drumstick, but leftover ham does go good with eggs.

Any college football team that severely thrashes the Texas A&M Aggies.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Nebraska.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Miami.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Arkansas.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Texas.  (Unless it's Arkansas.)

TCU's Horned Frogs.  Good job this year, Gary Patterson.

Any college football team that severely thrashes SMUT.  Especially since TCU didn't  this year.  (grrrrrr)

Any pro football team that kicks the crap out of Donna McNabb and the Philthydelphia Beagles - something the Cowbows did this year.  Twice.  (snicker)

Drew Henson.  There's the future of the Cowboys, Denizens.  (Well, if he can beat out Tony Romo, who's a damned good QB in his own right, from what I've seen.)

Jerry Jones - for trading for Drew Henson (grin)

Southern Baptist churches that aren't afraid to call themselves "Baptist"

An occasional road trip - maybe to go fishing, or even if it's work-related.  I love staying in hotels where I can crank up the AC at night, and not have to worry about the electric bill (grin).

Microsoft.  No, all you morons at the federal judiciary - Bill Gates does not  run a monopoly, and you damned well know it.  What he does  do is run an extremely successful company, one that you bastards tried to shake down for $$$$, and failed.  It's not a secret that the tech sector crashed simultaneously with Janet El Reño's baseless attack against Microsoft.

Spanish-language television channels.  You will not find a better-looking collection of major babes anywhere on Planet Earth.  And they don't mind letting people know that they're women either, dammit.  Take that, NOW.  :-)

Mashed potatoes.  With a ton of gravy.  (Atkins be damned on this one.  (grin))

Ranch-style beans™.

Sweet tea - even though, being a Type II diabetic, I can no longer drink the stuff (make mine Sweet 'n Low, 3 packets per 40 ounces, please).

Hooters' hot wings.  Scenery's not bad, either.  (big grin)

Dueling-piano bars.  Picture two baby-grands.  Picture two players with crass senses of humor.  Picture some of the raunchiest lyrics ever conceived - sometimes on the fly.  Picture yourself laughing your ass off.  Try it sometime.

Rush Limbaugh.  Sean Hannity.  Glenn Beck.  Michael Savage.  Michael Reagan - and, in case I've not mentioned it before...his dad, too.

Ann Coulter.  Michelle Malkin.  Laura Ingraham.

The Blogosphere™.  Specifically, Misha and Alan Henderson - for getting me into this blogging thing.

My new hairstylist.  In all my lifetime, I've only found three people who could fully understand what I wanted done to my hair, and do it right in a minimum of time:  one retired about 15 years ago.  This new one's is just as good as the second one - and she's a major babe, too.  (grin)