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August 09, 2007
PFW: So it's preseason - it's f'ball, dammit!!!
As we launch another successful year of Perfect Football Weekends™, I have to confess something:
I think I missed the NFL's Hall of Fame Game. I looked all over Civilization As I Know It™ (read: all the sports channels on Time Warner Cable 
), and I could find neither hide nor hair thereof.
(And now I see why: The damn game was televised on the NFL Network. That fucking does it - I'm switching to Verizon FIOS.)
Anyway, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the New Orleans Black & Gold Pieces of Shit Saints, 20-7. Good. Sean Payton can go oh-and-fuckin'-20 this year and it won't be enough to suit me.
Awright, so let's get down to business. As you know, in preseason I follow whatever football I can get my greedy eyes on, and if the Cowboys happen to be involved, so much the better. Which, as it happens, they are - they host the Defending Super Bowl Champion (Finally!!!)™ Indian-hapless Colts tonight at 7:00. (At the end of a blazing hot Texas summer day, but what the Hell, eh? Though actually, I think they'd rather play in Hell - it'd be cooler.) Romo will play a quarter - and likely, so will Manning. Whereupon he'll probably go and shoot another commercial. 
Friday night, CBS will have Beefalo at the aforementioned B&GPOS.
Saturday, the NFL Network (Damn you, Time Warner Cable!!!) will have the Washington Foreskins at the Tennessee Vince Youngs Titans. (We will now pause as LC John Wardle takes us to task for calling them the Foreskins. (grin))
Michaels & Madden will be in San Diego on Sunday as the Seattle Seahags take on LT & the Chargers. Rumors that Chris Young would strike out both Michaels & Madden in the 2nd quarter were unsubstantiated at press time. 
Monday, a cast of what seems like thousands will be in San Transexual as the FairyWhiners host the Denver Running Backs Committee Broncos. By then, La Reina Espátula™ will have a permanent dent in her iron skillet from the back of my head.
We're back on Monday to offer a half-hearted recap and thanks to the Football Gawds™ that we no longer have to pay attention to the Texass stRangers. 
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at August 9, 2007 07:00 AM
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Comments
Lemme know when football starts.
You know, the sport where games actually matter!
IF there's nothing else on, and IF I'm really bored, and IF I'm close to a TV (I don't own a TV...and I like it that way), I might suffer through a preseason game. Might.
My word, at least baseball games count for something! Since when did Americans give a crap about meaningless games?!
If you said "I meant European football", I'd almost cut you some slack. The games at least mean something, even if the sport is meaningless.
Preseason football. Blech. I'll listen to my Milwaukee Brewers piss away yet another decent season before I'll pay any attention to preseason football.
Posted by: the Humble Devildog at August 9, 2007 06:31 PM
My word, at least baseball games count for something! Since when did Americans give a crap about meaningless games?!
Since it's football, and since this American hates the crap outta baseball, and since the stRangers are playing like crap again...
Well, you did ask. (grin)
Posted by: Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at August 9, 2007 08:01 PM
Football?
Spats, have I ever told you that football is a complete waste of time? :)
Much better to spend one's time performing, or listening to sacred classical music! :)
Posted by: David Hartung at August 11, 2007 07:32 AM
Spats I agree wif U man,football is football dont care if its preseason, touch, flag football.
dont matter my Indians are pissing away their chances at playing in october so bring on the Browns, at least they wont get my hopes up by playing good for a half a season. I know they suck!!!!!
Posted by: ORWN at August 15, 2007 11:41 AM