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October 22, 2007
PFW: Can we please fire Patterson now???
Last week, I speculated on the possibility of Tom Osborne tapping Bo Pelini to be the new Nebraska Cornhusker head coach, once the requisite firing of Bill Callahan takes place.
He could do me a bigger favor by taking Gary Patterson off TCU's hands.
Arlington Heights 30, at O.D. Wyatt 49
at Texas Christian 20, Utah 27
UBuffalo 12, at Syracuse 20 (Buffalo covers)
Oklahoma 17, at Iowa State 7
at LSU 30, Auburn 24
at Dallas 24,BridgeFallDownGoBoomVilleMinnesota 14
TCU's 2nd-half meltdown proclivities have migrated over to Arlington Heights.
Leading 24-21 at half, Heights gave up three third-quarter touchdowns in being outscored in the second half 28-6. Heights has probably won its last game under Coach Duke Christian, and he can't be gone too soon for my tastes.
...
Drew Willy is becoming a pretty good quarterback in the UBuffalo system. Once he gets a running game, the Bulls will have a little sum'pin-sum'pin'.
The difference in the game Saturday was that Syracuse ran the ball - UBuffalo didn't. Syracuse had 179 rushing yards to the Bulls' 73. The Bulls even intercepted Orange quarterback Andrew Robinson a couple of times, but the lack of a ground game doomed them.
...
Oklahoma was pancake-flat after beating Missouri. Iowa State was embarrassed as hell after getting stomped by Texas. Put the two together and you almost had yet another major upset (and what would have been OU's second this season) in college football. The Cyclones led, 7-0, at halftime, and were dominating the Sooners.
Fortunately, OU woke up somewhat in the second half, shut ISU down and reserve running back Chris Brown ran for a couple of touchdowns. A DJ Wolfe interception ended the Cyclone threat for the day.
...
Call 'em the Cardiac Cats.
Down 24-23, Les Miles went for it on fourth down when the easy thing to do would have been a Colt David field-goal attempt to win the game. Matt Flynn lobbed a 22-yard fade to Demetrius Byrd with :02 left in the game, despite having a timeout left with which he could have set up the field goal try.
With time expiring on LSU's national title hopes, Byrd wanted a chance to beat the lone defender on his side of the field."Then I got in the huddle and that was the play call, and I knew I just had to go out there and make a play on it," Byrd said.
Les, can I have those lottery numbers now?
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In like fashion to the Sooners, the Cowboys also sleepwalked through the first half. The Vikings recovered a Patrick Crayton fumble and proceeded to play Harlem Globetrotters with it, doing a lateral and a dribble-fumble on the return before lumbering into the end zone with the ball. A Romo fumble would have gone for a touchdown as well, save for a Minnesota penalty.
But Chris Canty blocked a Ryan Longwell field goal attempt during the third quarter, and Patrick Watkins returned it 68 yards for a touchdown - the first Dallas sequence like that in 24 years.
OU alum Adrian Peterson's old Sooner bugaboo, the fumble, reared its ugly head in the fourth quarter. Jason Hatcher recovered for the C'boys, and the offense converted it into a Nick Folk field goal for the final margin. Dallas did also engineer a first-possession touchdown drive for the first time in the Romo era (17 games).
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Memo to Gary Patterson: You have a piece of shit team.
You have a shitty quarterback.
You have a shitty offensive line.
You have shitty receivers that can't catch the God-forsaken ball.
You have shitty running backs that either can't run away from defenders, or can't hang onto the fuckin' ball. (And yes, I include Aaron Brown in that group.)
You're so &*@%$&!!! in love with that shitty little 4-2-5 defense, that even when a team where the smallest offensive lineman runs 305 plows your ass over, you have to fucking stay married to it instead of adding in a fifth lineman to clog up running lanes. Then you wonder why you get your ass run through all fucking game.
You have a Swiss-cheese secondary that couldn't cover me.
You have an excuse-for-a-kicker who's worse than the one you had last year - and he was a piece of shit. The one you have now can't even make a fucking field goal from 22 fucking yards.
You have a shithead for an offensive coordinator who can't pull his head out of his ass long enough to figure out when he needs to run and when he needs to pass.
You have a country bumpkin excuse-for-a-defensive coordinator.
You yourself can't coach your way out of a fuckin' sack made from eggshell paper.
And your recruiting sucks so badly that you didn't have a sufficiently experienced quarterback to take the place of a graduating Jeff Ballard.
The $64 million question is, therefore, "Why the fuckin' hell are you still here?"
Utah took the opening kickoff and shoved it down the Frogs' throat for a 7-0 lead. And did so with the same fucking play they ran all night...the same play every fucking team uses to move the ball on the Frogs - the @%(@!!%(@@ zone read. Running back stands next to the quarterback; QB takes the snap and plants the ball in the RB's gut - then reads the defense and either pulls the ball out or lets the back go find a hole that's pretty much always there. And instead of throwing a run blitz at them or trying to get upfield pressure, you just let the damned back just crank out seven, eight yards a pop. The Shitland Ponies of SMUT used it two years ago to beat TCU in Dallas, and every team has been using it to gash the Frogs ever since.
After an exchange of three-and-outs, Andy Dalton went back to doing what Andy Dalton does best - throwing interceptions. He threw four tonight, one of which was a pick-six. Which just happened to be the difference in the game.
Darrell Mack gashed the Tadpoles for 100 yards. Teams seem to be doing that more and more on the Frogs - even SMUT's DeMyron Martin hung a hundred on them during their 21-7 win over the Shitland Ponies.
Hmmmm. He might just fit in Nebraska, after all.
This week: 4-2. Overall: 34-12.
The PFW will return Friday, when I channel Huey Lewis and guarantee that TCU doesn't lose next week.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant at October 22, 2007 10:00 PM
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