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May 31, 2005

Botox Boy still doesn't get it

The Demoscum just won't give up Florida, will they?

John-Boy F'n Qetchup-@$$ was there the other day, sounding like he was still trolling for votes.

The Massachusetts senator, at a National Head Start Association conference to tout his plan to provide health care for uninsured children, hammered on familiar themes of values and unity while repeatedly criticizing the Bush administration and Republican leaders in Congress.

"I went back and reread the whole New Testament the other day."

You don't say, Botox Boy?  Didja pick up any new "nuances"?

"Nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did I find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you ought to take the money from the poor, the opportunities from the poor and give them to the rich people," Kerry said.

Reeeaaaallllllly.  Well, y'know, Qetchup Qing - nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did you find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you should allow babies to be senselessly butchered before they're even born - and in some cases, on their way out  of the womb - now did you?  Yet you'll happily  bleat that women have the so-called "right to choose", won't you, dumbass?

Kerry has yet to officially announce whether he's in the running for the 2008 nomination, and he didn't take questions from the media Friday.

Oh, please.  Please  run again, John-Boy.  Please win the nomination, even.

It'd do our hearts good to see your qetchup-ass handed to you once again. (snicker)

But while speaking to the educators and child advocates gathered in a hotel ballroom, it wasn't difficult to imagine his rhetoric, unchanged, being said at a campaign rally.

"We need to enlist and join together in a great cause across the country that puts a simple choice before our fellow Americans. It's a choice that, I think, is based on values," Kerry said.

Yes, please.  Let's  talk "values".  Let's talk about how we value innocent human life, for example.  Like Terri Schiavo, for instance.  Like those 4,000+ babies that are killed every day prior to being born.

Let's talk about the value of marriage being correctly defined as the union of one man and one woman.  Let's talk about how it's wrong for the judiciary to be forcing any other definition on the American people, why don't we?

Let's talk about how it's wrong for you turds up in DC to take our hard-earned money and give it to lazy shits who won't get up off their fat asses and get jobs.

Let's talk about how it's a slap in the face of legal immigrants to have a bunch of bastards from south of here come across our border, take our jobs, take that money out of our economy and send it back across that border, where it's not doing us any good, and then you  want to give these people amnesty?!?!?!  

Yeah, Billy-Bob Botox - let's talk about those "values"...

Following Florida's 2000 election debacle, in which Bush emerged the barest of winners over Al Gore after five weeks of partisan fighting, the Democratic Party made capturing the state one of its highest priorities.

But Kerry couldn't pull the state into his column, despite the millions spent on advertising and get-out-the-vote efforts. Bush prevailed by almost 381,000 ballots, for a margin of five percentage points.

"The fact is, 10 million more Americans voted for our idea of what we wanted to do than voted for Bill Clinton in 1996 when he was the sitting president of the United States," Kerry said.

The fact is, 5 million more people than that  voted for your opponent, moron.  Can we say that W would've kicked Clinton's ass, too? (snicker)

"The fact is, a million people volunteered. The fact is, across America we created an energy."

Oh, so that's  why all those people were yawning during your speeches. (chuckle)

"And that energy is going to keep on going and keep on fighting until we achieve what we want to."

Only if what you want is complete annihilation of the Demoscummic Party. (guffaw)

Posted by sgc284 at 12:44 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 30, 2005

Happy Memorial Day.  Remember why.

Denizens, I started this tradition a few years back when I received this piece from someone (my memory's not as good as it used to be, else I'd give the obligatory hat tip).

I'm proud to revive this tradition today.  This is definitely worth your time to read.  Go.  Shoo.

Posted by sgc284 at 07:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 29, 2005

On Wiccans & the right to raise your own kids

Misha is going on about a story that Bill Quick mentions here.

Apparently, a judge in Indiana is telling a Wiccan couple that they can't teach their child their religion.

Now, it's a highly flawed ruling, and most certainly will be overturned on appeal.  I'd say that's pretty much cut and dried.  The parents have the right to teach their kid what they will - end of story.  Absolutely no argument there.

But for my part, I'm having a hard time being sympathetic towards these guys.  The Wiccans I've dealt with over the years, both here and in the old BBS days, have expressed nothing but an abject hatred of Christianity and all things Christian.  They're the types that scream bloody murder whenever we dare to interject our ideas into the governing of this country.  It's my opinion that they, along with all the other anti-Christian bigots, would just as soon see us go away. (Not to worry, guys - a lot of us will be, very soon.)

So you'll pardon me if I'd like to see Christianity be given slightly more respect before I start screaming over the rights of these Wiccans.  When I see the same outrage over the desecration of the Bible that I've seen the past couple of weeks over the alleged  (and later debunked) desecration of the Qu'ran...then  we can talk.

Not until.

Posted by sgc284 at 02:11 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

May 28, 2005

New Diet Coke™ with Splenda©...

Not only no, but Hell, No!!!™

I bought one today - took one sip, damned near threw it up.

Memo to Coke:  Splenda© is sweeter, ounce for ounce, than sugar. (Yes, I know that's hard to believe, but trust me on this.)  If you people are going to use it in your diet drinks, you absolutely must  raise the carbonation factor by a minimum of 3.

Otherwise, you have Diet New Coke™ on your hands - and we all know how well the regular  version of that went over, now don't we...?

Posted by sgc284 at 04:31 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

May 26, 2005

Comments, we get comments...!

We interrupt our vacation from posting to inform the Realm™ of a WITY.

Seems that I managed to piss off a Young Skull Full Of Mush™ with my post on those who thought that the words "seniors who did not pass all portions of the TAKS cannot graduate" didn't apply to them. (I think it was the Kendra Rainey mentioned in the original story, but she didn't leave her last name, so...)

Denizens, I must say - here, more than anything, is a picture-perfect People's Exhibit Number One™ of precisely that to which I was referring.  If these comments don't tell you everything you need to know about the abject stupidity of the products of our current education system...then nothing will.

(UPDATE:  We'll also ignore, for the moment, that Kendra was too stupid to post her comment in the correct thread, but anyway...)

Okay, you little twat.  Ready for your English lesson?

Hey let me tell you something you little ignorant- ass bastard

First, it's "Hey, let me...", not "Hey let me..."

Second, it's "ignorant-assed", not "ignorant- ass"

Third:  5330 Bent Tree Forest Dr, #712, Dallas.  Anytime you wanna come get in my face with your bullshit, bring it on.  Let's see what it gets you, bitch.

i challenge you to take

The personal pronoun "I" is always capitalized.  It also qualifies as the first letter in a sentence, which is also always capitalized.

the TAKS since you are so freakin

Even if you're (oh, and do note the correct  usage of the contraction "you are", if you please) using colloquial English...

...uh, "colloquial" isn't too big of a word for you, is it...?

...the word "freakin" should have an apostrophe on the end thereof, to denote the intentional dropping of the letter g.

smart and know everything.

Everything?  No.  But more than you, apparently.

And for your info hip hop music has nothing to do with a test dumb ass

A "test dumb ass"?  What's a "test dumb ass"?  Do you mean, as opposed to a real  dumb ass?

(re-reads) Ohhhhhhhhh...I get it.  You forgot to place a comma between the words "test" and "dumb".  Yet another red mark for you, Kendra, sweetie.

As for the correlation between hip-hop music (as opposed to "hip hop music") having nothing to do with a test...ever heard the saying "garbage in, garbage out"?  Look it up sometime.

and thank you so much for being so ignorant

In the first place...at this point, you're guilty of a major run-on sentence - yet another English error.  You have quite the collection now, do you not?

Secondly - "ignorant"?  You're the one making all the English miscues - miscues that would get you laughed out of any university-level English class - and you call me  "ignorant"?  ROFL!!!!

because if you actually read our GOOD ASS DALLAS MORNING NEWSPAPER

First off - "good-assed", not "good ass".  Or has the Dallas Morning News  (the actual name of the "GOOD ASS DALLAS MORNING NEWSPAPER") suddenly gone the way of the Sun  and started posting Page Three girls?

you would of noticed

"Would of"???  "Would of???"   Which DISD teacher taught you that  bullshit?  Please  tell me so I can bring it to Superintendent Hinojosa's attention and have that moron fired!

that we haven't flunked and are still going to college.

So much for academic standards.

Ha! Laugh on that BITCH!!!!!!!!!

Come say it to my face, ho'. (snicker)

Denizens?  WITY?

Posted by sgc284 at 07:06 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 25, 2005

Ode to Huey Lewis

Denizens, I'm gonna take a couple days off.  For reasons I'm going to keep to myself, I'm in a very, very  snarly mood right now, and it's best (for once) I not say much about it - lest folks whom I don't want to offend get offended.

Thatisall™.  See you on Friday or thereabouts.

Posted by sgc284 at 09:31 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

A trailer-trash queen by any other name...

The SpatulaGoddess has taken time out from her currently-busy schedule to post an observation that I'm sure all of us have seen at one time or another - an obvious example of trailer trash.

All I have to say about it is this:  In Sulphur Springs, that's normally called "advertising".

Posted by sgc284 at 01:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 24, 2005

And now, a word from our sponsor (me)...

Okay, guys, time for me to hawk wares again.

This time, you, the good Denizen, can send a message to the linguini-spined, cowardly bastards known as the RINOs (Republicans In Name Only).

Go here and plunk down $5 for one of these beauts.  Tell the Republicans that you've had it with them caving in to the Demoscum time after time after time.

Get yours now!

Posted by sgc284 at 09:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This Lost  pilot didn't quiiiiiiite make it...

Sorry, Denizens - as slow as yesterday was, today was equally as hectic.  Another One-Legged Man™ day.

So, into the Grab-Bag™ we go, for this blurb, courtesy of Denizen Lady Heather de Jeep Wrangler™:

On a group of beautiful deserted tropical islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely, stunningly beautiful desert (and deserted)Islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois

The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The 2 Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming...

The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The 2 Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant, and a laundromat. And have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for the store.

The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palmtrees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and at least the taxes are low, and it isn't raining....

The 2 Irish men have divided the Island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture, because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they are satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

Mheh.

Posted by sgc284 at 06:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 23, 2005

Stop me if you've heard this before...

(ED. NOTE:  I had pre-written the top half of this post prior to hearing the news on the Fox website.  The update explains it all.  -LSI)

Newsflash:  Bill Frist says he has the votes to deploy the "constitutional option" concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.

Newsflash:  Bill Frist said back in February that he had the votes to deploy the "constitutional option" concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.

Newsflash:  Bill Frist said back in April that he had the votes to deploy the "constitutional option" concerning the illegal Demoscummic filibustering of judicial nominees.

D'ya kinda notice a trend developing here?

For Cthulu's Sake™, Dr. Linguinispine, would you shut up about threatening to do it AND JUST DO IT???????  HELLO???  MCFLY?????

Sheesh.

UPDATE:  Frist, you son-of-a-bitch - now do you see what happens when you drag your backwoods hillbilly ass?

That fucking Limp-Wristed Lisping Licksprite™, John McCain (RINO-AZ), has just managed to buttfuck 6 of his fellow RINOs into scuttling the constitutional option that you had said  you had the votes for all along, you stupid bastard!

Centrists from both parties reached a compromise Monday night to avoid a showdown on President Bush's stalled judicial nominees and the Senate's own filibuster rules, officials from both parties said.

Congratulations on your abject spinelessness, you asshole excuses-for-Republicans.  You pisspots have just traded in one confrontation with the anti-Constitution Demoscum for one with your constituents come next election cycle.  Let's hope you're as proud of selling this country down the river after the right-thinking voters of the sorry-assed states you represent run your asses out of town on a collective rail.

These officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity

Oh, you're damned right  they don't want to reveal their names, the fucking cowards.  I'm surprised they didn't wait until midnight to do this, just like those pay hikes they gave themselves back in the 80s and 90s.

said the agreement would clear the way for yes-or-no votes on some of Bush's nominees but make no guarantee.

Translation:  They're gonna put Janice Rogers Brown back on the fuckin' plantation, where she's gonna pick her cotton and keep her mouth shut, just like a good darkie.

Under the agreement, Democrats would pledge not to filibuster any of Bush's future appeals court or Supreme Court (search) nominees except in "extraordinary circumstances."

Which they get to define for themselves, just like Doe v. Bolton  served to offer up asinine definitions of "health" for the baby-butchering mother so she could kill her child at any time right up until the moment of birth (and now past that, in some cases).

For their part, Republicans agreed not to support an attempt to strip Democrats of their right to block votes.

They caved.  THEY MOTHERFUCKING @@@-DAMNED CAVED, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!!  They bent over and grabbed the ankles once more for old times' sake and took it right up the friggin' ass  from the Socialist Senate Shits™ on the Left.

Damn them.  Damn them all to Hell™.  Starting with that fucking bastard, Hill-Billy Frist, the asswipe...

Update the 2nd:  It looks like Janice Rogers Brown is part of this unholy package deal - not that that makes it any more palatable.

Also, some of the other RINO are starting to show their ugly asses.  Lindsay Graham (RINO-S.C.) is positively exuberant about it.

"The Senate is back in business," exulted Sen. Lindsey Graham (search ), R-S.C., reflecting the view that a showdown would have would have had a long-term detrimental impact on Congress' ability to conduct the nation's business.

Enjoy it while it lasts, Graham, you asshat.  We're gonna remember come election time.

Posted by sgc284 at 07:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Spewsweek  at it again

Cowards.  Craven cowards.  Limp-wristed, anti-American craven cowards.

Fellow blogger and Denizen Delftsman has alerted the Realm™ to a post by Riding Sun concerning another piece of treasonous shit cranked out by the cowards over at Spewsweek.

These bastards spew their jounalistic methane, to Hell™ with the consequences - then, like little brats about to get the shit knocked out of them, they go hide behind Article I of the Bill Of Rights as if it were their mommies' skirts.

First it was the lies about our troops desecrating the Qu'ran. (Not that I'd mind that much - I mean, how many stories have we heard about shitheads - particularly those in Shoddy Arabia - doing unspeakable things to the Christian Bible and nothing's ever happened to them, hm?)

Now it's this bullshit about "the day America died", complete with a pic of the American flag in a trash can, its staff snapped in half.  A cover, I'd point out, that Spewsweek  didn't have the balls to publish over here.

Frankly, I'm sick & tired of it.  It's a damned miracle that the offices of Spewsweek  aren't burning at this very moment, its chickenshit employees, editors & publishers lined up against a wall, firing-squad style.

What I want to know is this:  How much longer are we going to let this get away with this bullshit?  How much farther are we going to let them push us before we take their abject abuse of the First Amendment and shove it right back up their asses from whence it came?

And with all due respect to some, please spare me the line about "well, we can boycott them".  How many right-thinkers do you personally know who subscribe to this crap?  I know very damned few myself - if any.

How much more are we expected to take before a few thousand Lame Stream Media (and other liberal) types develop holes where, perhaps, they weren't designed to be?

Before a few of them are swinging, if you catch my drift?

Before they go the way of the average armadillo, if you know what I mean?

Personally, I think they, and the nancy-boy Demoscum in whose pockets they reside, are tiptoeing that line even as I write this.  We're a tolerant bunch - but only to a certain point.

God help them if they push us too far - because we  won't...

UPDATE:  Spewsweek  isn't the only treasonous fuck in the LSM.  The LA Slimes  is getting in on the act, too - by whining that they don't have enough pictures of dead GIs.

The paper explained:

"Many photographers and editors believe they are delivering Americans an incomplete portrait of the violence that has killed 1,797 U.S. service members and their Western allies and wounded 12,516 Americans."

During World War II, the Roosevelt administration strictly prohibited news outlets from printing photos of dead U.S. soldiers because of the obvious blow it would be to American morale. And the press willingly complied.

Unfortunately, that was back when the press actually gave a damn  about this country.  That the Welfare King™ was in office didn't hurt things any.

The same sensibility largely prevailed during Korea, Vietnam and the First Gulf War.

But with many in today's media opposed to the Iraq war, some say it's time to change the rules.

BS.  What it's time to do is to change the photo-propagandists.  With a short rope and a tall tree.

"There can be horrible images, but war is horrible and we need to understand that," veteran war photographer Chris Hondros told the Times. "I think if we are going to start a war, we ought to be willing to show the consequences of that war."

That so, dumbass?  Are you willing to show the bodies of the 18 or so who died needlessly in Afghanistan due to the lies perpetrated by your butt-buddies over at Spewsweek?  If were were to torch your offices and beat your staffers within inches of their pathetic, America-hating lives, would you be willing to publish those  pictures, hmmmmmm?

(*crickets chirping*)

No, I thought  not...

Pim Van Hemmen, assistant managing editor for photography at the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J., agreed, telling the Times:

"Writing in a headline that 1,500 Americans have died doesn't give you nearly the impact of showing one serviceman who is dead."

By censoring the photos of GI's as they lay dying, Van Hemmen said, "We in the news business are not doing a very good job of showing our readers what has really happened over there."

Oh, yeah, here we go - the old Demoscummic saw:  We didn't win the election because we didn't do a good enough job of getting our message out to the electorate.

Has it ever occurred to you bozos that we understand what you people are all about?  And that's why your readership losses keep spiraling downward, out of control?

Or are you short-bus types just too obtuse to get that through your thick-assed heads?

Steve Stroud, deputy director of photography at the Los Angeles Times, also thinks the public needs to see more photos of dead American soldiers.

"I feel we still aren't seeing the kind of pictures we need to see to tell the American people about this war and the costs of the war," he explained.

Michele McNally, New York Times director of photography, concurred, observing: "War kills men, women and children, and we would be remiss if we couldn't in some way show that this is what happens in war . . . It's our responsibility to bear witness to these events."

That so, you shitheaded bastards?  Then how about you traitorous pissweasels start posting pictures like this:

Naw, couldn't post those.  Those are too violent, too disturbing  for the American people to see.  But pictures of Abu Ghraib - yeah! let's run those every  day!!!

Mark my words:  You liberal bastards are begging for it.  And you're going to get it - sooner rather than later.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Posted by sgc284 at 02:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 22, 2005

Sinful?  Moi???

(Hat Tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)

Hmmm.  This is disquieting...

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 80%

Lust: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Greed: 60%

Wrath: 40%

Pride: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 51%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

This can only mean one thing.

Only 40% wrath?  I'm not trying hard enough.

Posted by sgc284 at 11:06 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

New Donk theme song

(Hat tip to Denizen and Original Cast charter member Robert Mullane.)

On WABC/77 AM in New York, Sean Hannity is followed by attorney and law expert extraordinaire  Mark "The Great One" Levin. (Dittoheads will recognize this grand gentleman as "F. Lee Levin" of the EIB Law Department.)

Anyway, Levin has a fan club blog out there, and the proprietor thereof has come up with a wonderful little flash file about the Donks' new theme song.

This is one you don't wanna miss.  Spew warnings are definitely  in effect.

Posted by sgc284 at 09:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 21, 2005

Firefox users - heads up!

(Hat tip to Michael Hampton.)

By now, you guys know that I, along with more than a few thousand other folks, have fallen in love with Mozilla Firefox as an Internet browser.

Which is why this story disturbs me more than just a little bit.

Firefox has since come out with version 1.0.4 - which, presumably, addresses these security holes.  But the fact that said holes even exist is cause for concern.

And to all you ABM (Anybody But Micro$oft) folks, I hope this serves as a reminder:  It ain't just Billy-boy's problem, morons.  Any s'ware package that becomes a big-enough target will attract the pond scum.  Firefox is just the latest target.

So leave Bill alone.  He's trying, okay?

Posted by sgc284 at 12:11 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Become a what???

I got this in e-mail today:

Obviously they don't know me. (grin)

Posted by sgc284 at 11:23 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 20, 2005

Po' po' pitiful them...NOT!!!

Okay, so I brought up the Dullest Moaning Snooze website for some reason or other, and this is what I'm graced with:

Now, doesn't she look cute there, folks?  "Look at me - pity me 'cuz I'm too stupid to pass a simple little test.  D'ya like my day-glo red hair?  Am I phat?"

Then I go and read the story - and damned near get an RCOB moment over the whining perpetrated by these sorry-assed punks.

Kendra Rainey won't be wearing that graduation gown hanging in her closet. And the announcements mailed to friends and family are now a painful reminder.

Last week, Kendra was ushered into a counselor's office at Bryan Adams High School in Dallas to get the bad news: She failed to pass the TAKS in her final attempt and will not graduate with her class Sunday.

"It makes me feel like all I've done is a waste of time," said Kendra, 18, who didn't pass the math and science portions of the test. "I can't be there with my class."

I don't suppose it ever occurred to you, Miss  Rainey, that the whole point of your last twelve years in the public school system is not  to just "be there with [your] class" - but to get yourself a fuckin' education so you can make a way for yourself on this planet?  And if you can't pass a sorry-assed TAKS test, it becomes pretty damned clear that you haven't gotten that education - have  you???

But she is not without peers. Hundreds of area seniors – including up to 697 students in DISD, or about 10 percent of the senior class – will not receive their diplomas after failing to pass the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills.

This is the first school year that seniors who did not pass all portions of the TAKS cannot graduate. They began taking the exit-level test in the 11th grade and had up to five chances to pass.

Y'see that, Denizens?  Up to five.  Friggin'.  Chances.

The news has hit students – and parents – hard.

Patricia Rainey said her daughter has cried more times than she can count. She now has to postpone attending Texas Southern University in Houston, where she was accepted.

"She's been crying every day, I feel so sorry for her. She has me crying," she said. "This is holding her back."

Ohhhhhhhhhh no you don't, sista.  You're not pulling that  bullshit.  Not here.

It's not a "this" that's holding your daughter back, trollop.  It's your own daughter and her unwillingness to do the necessary work to graduate  that's holding her back.

Don't give me that "this" bullshit.  If your daughter had cracked a few more books and listened to a few less 50-Cent/G-Unit/Eminem tracks, she might  be graduating next month.  Put the "this" bullshit right back up your ass where it belongs!

Of districts reporting results, Dallas had the largest percentage of seniors failing the TAKS.

The Texas Education Agency will soon release statewide numbers, but 11 percent, or 24,937, of Texas seniors still needed to pass a portion of the test in April – before the last retake.

At that time, 95 percent of students had passed math and English language arts, 94 percent had passed science, and 99 percent had passed social studies.

Students said the test – particularly math and science – was challenging.

Hell yes,  it's challenging.  What, did you rugrats think we're trying to turn you into Demoscum or something?

Ashlee Williams, a student at Skyline High School, was visibly upset when she spoke about the math test.

"It was my fourth time taking it," she said. "What's the point?"

The point,  idiot, is to pass.  To demonstrate that you're worthy of that diploma they hand you as you walk across.  What, you think you get a free one when you buy Puff Daddy tix?

DeEtta Culbertson, a TEA spokeswoman, said excluding seniors who failed a state exam is not an unusual practice.

"They believe that the kids who are participating are the ones that earned it," she said.

But for students and parents, the exclusion is difficult to handle.

"That's like taking their spirit," said Terry Tucker, whose daughter did not pass the science portion. "They've worked for four years for that moment."

Oh, boo-hoo-fucking-hoo, bimbo.  Please spare me the self-esteem bullshit, okay?  From the looks of things, your little "Look Ma, I look like a Cherry Coke Slurpee!!!" girl was getting her  "spirit" from watching too much American Idol.

Ms. Tucker said her daughter, Tamara Roberts, cried for two days and even vomited when she got the news that she couldn't graduate. She said her daughter now has to postpone attending El Centro College.

Great.  Honkin'.  Cthulu.  Does this moronette think it's gonna get any better for her daughter in college??????

Lemmee tell you something, Tucker, you dumbass-ette.  The professors, even at a junior college like El Centro, are gonna give your daughter her assignments - and then leave her the fuck alone.  They're not gonna mollycoddle her and try to help her along like they did at her "hah skrewl" (a little more Rush lingo, there), and stay on her ass to get all her stuff done.

They're going to give her a due date for all the assignments they give her, and then they'll just sit back and expect that she's mature enough to work on the material - rather than on her candy-apple hairdo - and turn them in on time.  And they're not gonna be sympathetic when she tries to give them a half-assed excuse why her assignments are late, do you understand???

No.  Of course not.  The fact that you try to blame a test for your daughter's troubles, instead of your daughter herself, proves that you're not sufficiently intelligent to get it.

It should come as no surprise, therefore, that you and the rest of the damnfools whose carpet-munchers flunked - yes, I said flunked;  deal with it - find yourselves in your current dilemma.

F.E.T.E., as the Imperial Torturer™ would say.

Posted by sgc284 at 03:58 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

May 19, 2005

Pistol-packin' mama

Rumor has it that US Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has her eye on the Governor's Mansion in 2006.

Based on this story, I'd be inclined to vote for her. (That Big Dickhead Perry has linguini for a fucking spine has a little bit to do with it too - but that's another post.)

She may be able to hang a giant Lone Star flag outside her office, but Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison said Thursday there's one part of her Texas culture she couldn't bring to the nation's capital -- her handgun.

(shrug) I don't know why not.  It doesn't keep the drug dealers, nor the murders, nor the armed robbers, from having their  guns within easy reach.  Doesn't seem to me like the DC cops do all that good a job of keeping track of the guns...

Hutchison said she didn't know when she arrived from Austin in 1993 that the District of Columbia prohibits keeping a fully assembled handgun in the home. The district's ban has been in place since 1975.

Hutchison, a Republican who is considering a 2006 run for Texas governor, introduced legislation Thursday to lift the ban. If the bill passes she said she would keep a gun in her D.C. home.

Sens. John Cornyn, R-Texas, and George Allen, R-Va., are co-sponsors.

Memo to the Lady™:  This  is one of the reasons why I want to stay in Texas - because the majority of our Congresscritters understand what Article II of the Bill of Rights means.

"I have always had a handgun in the drawer next to my bed, and I would certainly again have one if it were legal in D.C.," Hutchison said.

Her office said her handgun is a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum revolver.

Damned fine gun, if you ask me.  My respect for her just went up a notch. (grin)

Hutchison said after she learned of the D.C. gun ban, she dismantled her gun, bought a travel case for it and took it back to Texas. She said she's complying with the law even though she thinks it's unconstitutional.

In this instance, I'd chide her a bit:  It doesn't matter what she thinks.  It is  unconstitutional.

"I think every woman in the District of Columbia should have the ability to protect herself in her home," she said.

Oh?  Kay, honey, I think every person  in DC ought to have that ability.  Why're you wanting to limit it to the gals, hm?

Cornyn's office said he has several types of guns and rifles and keeps them in an "undisclosed location."

Now that's  the way you go about it.  Why do folks need to know where he keeps his guns?

Reminds me of the old bumper sticker:  "I carry a gun three days a week.  You guess which three."

Posted by sgc284 at 08:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 18, 2005

G'bye, Gunga Gone-ga Dan...

Oh, no.  What's the Blather Review gonna write about now? 

CBS canceled the Wednesday edition of "60 Minutes," saying the decision was made because of poor ratings and not last fall's ill-fated story about President Bush's military service.

Dan Rather, the newsmagazine's most high-profile correspondent, will contribute stories to the Sunday "60 Minutes" and other news specials, CBS News President Andrew Heyward said.

Translation:  He's gonna be as active as a snail trapped in a Roach Motel™. (snicker)

The newsmagazine spinoff was where Rather reported last September that Bush skirted some duty while in the National Guard and a commander felt pressure to sugarcoat an evaluation of him. An independent panel later concluded that documents used in the story could not be verified.

But Leslie Moonves, the CBS chairman who has the final call on the network schedule, said the story didn't figure in the cancellation _ "not even slightly."

"This was a ratings call, not a content call," he said.

And, to quote the SpatulaGoddess, "...yeah, right.  Whatever".

When the Wednesday "60 Minutes" debuted in 1999, many who worked at the Sunday show worried that it would dilute or somehow soil television's original newsmagazine. But Wednesday's show won two duPont awards, four Peabodys and 10 Emmys in its short history.

The show was on the bubble for cancellation a year ago, but its story last April about abuses at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison became one of TV news' most talked-about stories. Rather and Mary Mapes, the producer later fired for her role in the Bush story, accepted a Peabody for the Abu Ghraib story in New York two days ago.

Shows you what Peabodys, du Ponts & Emmys are worth nowadays, doesn't it?

Some experts believe it was naive to think the National Guard story, which greatly angered the Bush administration and its supporters, didn't play a part in that decision.

"The idea that a decision like this was made outside of the whole political context is unthinkable, so I don't take that seriously," said Jay Rosen, New York University journalism professor and author of the "Pressthink" Web log.

But Heyward said there was no question it was a ratings decision.

"Of everything you hear today, that you can take to the bank," he said. "Leslie said that and I have no reason to believe anything other than that. There is no reason to believe the ratings were affected by (the Guard story). This is not a political statement. This is the television marketplace speaking."

Well, duh.  We'll telling you that we don't trust your news reporting anymore, Moonves.  So yes - Memogate damned well did  have something to do with it, didn't  it???

Television newsmagazines in general have been suffering in the ratings. There was some speculation that one of ABC's newsmagazines might be canceled, but both "20/20" and "Primetime Live" were included on the schedule announced Tuesday.

"The mood in the country right now tends to favor escape," Heyward said. "There's a lot of grim news out there. In prime time, when people are looking to be entertained as well as informed, a drama or a reality show is tough competition. The thing about reality shows is they offer the same appeal of ordinary people caught up in extraordinary circumstances, but it's all a game. There's a happy ending."

We're not one-dimensional, Heyward, you dumbass.  Sure we love happy endings, but we also like to just hear the news, rather than the news plus your particular spin on it.  When Fox says "We report, you decide", they damned well mean it, and right-thinkers across the country appreciate that.

It is  why you're now looking over your shoulder at them, don'tcha know?

Moonves also revealed that he's not close to picking Rather's successor on the "CBS Evening News." He praised Bob Schieffer's job filling in.

He said he spoke to NBC's Katie Couric about the job, but noted Couric is under contract for a long time and he expects her to stay at "Today."

"We're looking at all sorts of things," he said. "This is a tough nut to crack. We're trying to change the world and it's not easy."

(sigh) This shithead just doesn't get it, does he?

It's precisely because they're out to change the world, rather than just report on the world changing on its own, that we're leaving the Blackened Eye behind in droves.

Memo to Moonbat and Heywouldyoublowme:  Report.  The.  News.  First.  Last.  And always.

Let us make up our  minds about it.  Quit trying to do our thinking for us.  We're quite capable, thank you very much.

Quit being activists and start being journalists  for a change.  You'll be amazed at the results - trust your Friendly Neighborhood King & Tyrant™.

Or, hell - just keep doing what you're doing and watch your business go toes up in five years.  Whichever's fine with me.

Posted by sgc284 at 05:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 17, 2005

One can dream...can't one?

Denizen Tarc has passed along word that po' widdle Mikey Cwook, the limp-wristed fucktard who hosts the site www.forsakethetroops.info (no, I'm not providing the link; you'll have to cut & paste it yourself - I'm not giving him free hits), looks like he's now faking his own death.

As of 18:15 hours Central Daylight Time, the site said this:

On Monday evening, the webmaster of Forsake The Troops was brutally assaulted by two men, thought to be members of the military, in response to their opinions about this website. Mr. Crook had been the target of numerous death threats and trespassers at his residence. All of these threats were saved and have been turned over to the authorities.

UPDATE: At 6:19pm Eastern time, Michael Crook died of his injuries, after being rushed by ambulance to the leading hospital in the area for head trauma. The two men who allegedly assaulted him are currently in the custody of police. Mr. Crook died with his wife and infant daughter present.

It is therefore the decision of his family, and associates that Forsake The Troops goes offline, to prevent further incidents of violence and threats against his family. Therefore, this domain will permanantly go offline at around 5pm Eastern time, on Tuesday, May 17th, 2005.

Comments, and well-wishes may be addressed to condolences@michaelcrook.com. Media inquiries (no interviews with family at this time), or sincere inquiries from well-meaning people may be directed to (315) 295-2602.

Leave a voice mail message and your call will be returned by our media representative. The family requests privacy at this time.

The Navy Times, however, is rather dubious about the claim.

So here's my message, Mikey, you cowardly fucknozzle:  You're a lying little sack of putrid shit.

Sad to say, you've not assumed room temperature, nor are you anywhere close  to assuming it, so bugger off, you walking leaky colostomy bag.  Suggest you go fuck yourself with a rusty lead pipe - it'll be another infection you can add to your collection.

Bastard.

Posted by sgc284 at 06:25 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

Picture of the day

Okay, guys, can you tell I'm jonesing for football...?

Now, if the pooch's name was only "Rothelisberger"...

Posted by sgc284 at 04:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Gee, O Dingy One - you don't say...?

Guys, we have ourselves a slam-dunk winner in the Spatula City BBS! 2005 "No Shit, Sherlock™" award competition.  Nope - no further need to count chads, be they hanging, dimpled, dented, whatever.

I would not have believed it myself, Denizens, had I not read it with mine own eyes.

Dingy Harry Reid actually put together a sufficient number of brain cells to say this:

"The goal of the Republican leadership and their allies in the White House is to pave the way for a Supreme Court nominee who would only need 50 votes for confirmation rather than 60," the number of senators needed to maintain a filibuster blocking a confirmation vote, Reid said.

No.  Shit.  Sherlock.  That is  the magic number for confirmation, don'tcha know, dumbass??? (Actually, it's 51, but we have Cheney, so...)

Great Honkin' Cthulu™, is this bozo ever thick...

Posted by sgc284 at 04:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 16, 2005

Morale:  Void where prohibited by fucknozzled principals

Okay, now this  is just plain stupid.

Public displays of affection are against the rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend, and 14-year-old Cazz Altomare found that out the hard way.

She got detention earlier this year after hugging her boyfriend in the hallway as he headed to lunch and she went to gym class.

Yeah, Denizens, you read that right:  Detention for an innocent little hug.  The kind of hug used to show (gasp, ARRRRRGH!!!!) affection.

What in the Hell™  is this world coming to?!?!?!

Her mother, Leslee Swanson was infuriated by the punishment - in fact, when she went to pick her daughter up from detention, she gave her a good, hard hug.

"I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," said Swanson, 42.

So am I, Leslie.  But more to the point - I'm trying to understand why you haven't yanked Cazz out of that Putrid Propaganda Prison™ - posthaste.

But administrators said such policies are standard-issue at middle schools across the country.

Oh, that is such  bullshit.  Name me 50 schools that practice that asinine excuse-for-a-policy.

"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police."

Pardon the semi-pun, but the fuck  it isn't.  This is you Smarmy Little Pisspots™ caving in to some skank-assed liberal PC group up there pushing an agenda, and trying to destroy school morale any way you possible can.

Go fuck yourselves and the horses that rode you on the way in.

Students only end up with detention after repeated warnings, he said.

I got your "repeated warnings" right here, dumbass:  My steel-toed boot repeatedly shoved forcefully up whatever it is on you that passes for a crotch.

Outside Pilot Butte Middle School on a recent lunch break, two seventh-grade girls said they disagreed with the school's policies.

"I think we should be able to hold hands or hug at least," Annie Wilson, 12, told The Bulletin in Bend. "Because it's not doing anything bad."

No, it's not, Annie.  Except to some dumb shit up there who thinks that excessive affection might lead to Cthulu-knows-what.

Others are more in favor of the rule, like Christina Barackman, 13, also a Pilot Butte seventh-grader.

"I think they're nice to keep boundaries for kids," she said.

That so, Chrissy?  Tell me, dearie - how much do you weigh?  Why do I get the feeling that you couldn't pay  kids to hug you?

Schools need to define and actively teach what they do want to see in student behavior, said Rob Horner, a University of Oregon professor who works with schools across the nation on "building social culture that supports effective learning."

"To say 'no hugging' really blows it," Horner said. "That's exactly the sort of trap that, as soon as you say that, what is the first thing everyone is going to want to do?"

Actually, Professor, schools should be teaching the friggin' three R's  and leaving everything else the hell alone.

At home after school on a recent afternoon, Cazz, the Sky View student, described the no-hug rule as "dumb."

"Hugging is like a sign of affection," she said.

Her mother has told her that if she likes Sky View and wants to stay at the school, she'll have to abide by the rules.

Mom, no.  Show some backbone and get your daughter out of that hellhole before it turns into another Columbine from all the lovelessness there.

Seriously.  Any place that would squash morale and love like that is another mass-murder shoot-'em-up begging to happen.

Mark my words.

Posted by sgc284 at 05:09 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

May 15, 2005

Open mouth, insert feet, Part The Second

This is getting to be a weekly thing with Dr. YEEEARRRRRGH!!!!! - open mouth, insert feet.

Yeah, feet.   Seems one foot isn't quite enough for ol' Howeird.

In comments that offended even members of his own party, Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean blasted House Majority Leader Tom DeLay on Saturday as a criminal, saying that the top Republican belongs in jail.

"I think Tom Delay ought to go back to Houston, where he can serve his jail sentence down there," Dean told Massachusetts Democrats at their state convention.

The Head Jackass™ is saying this about a man who hasn't even been indicted,  much less convicted.  That, more than anything else, should give you a clear indication of where the Demoscum want all of us right-thinkers who have more brains than to fall for their bullshit:  In the slammer, locked up with the key thrown away.

Incredibly, in the next breath the top Democrat complained about "this ugly, nasty dialogue that is coming from the right wing of the American Republican Party."

And you're surprised by this, NewsMax?  We out here in Flyover Country™ are quite accustomed to it, after all.  It's another classic case of the Donks pointing the finger at us for things of which they're  actually guilty.

Dean's comments drew a sharp rebuke from Rep. Barney Frank, who told the Boston Globe, "That's just wrong."

Translation:  "Oh, it'th too early in the morning for me to get righteouthly angry.  I haven't had my morning cabana boy yet!!!"

"I think Howard Dean was out of line talking about DeLay," the House Democrat complained. "The man has not been indicted. I don't like him, I disagree with some of what he does, but I don't think you, in a political speech, talk about a man as a criminal or his jail sentence."

Oh, spare us, Barney Fag.  (Yeah, I called you "Barney Fag", a la  Dick Armey a few years ago.  Deal with it.)

The fact is that you bastards put Dr. YEEEEAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! right where he is, when you could have deep-sixed his candidacy before it had ever gotten off the ground.  You can fake  angst all you want, but we right-thinkers know better.

The top Republican has been targeted for what Democrats say is an abuse of congressional travel privileges.

A study released last week by the web site PoliticalMoneyLine.com, however, found that the top ten trip-takers in Congress are all Democrats, with DeLay ranking 121st on the list.

And this is supposed to come as what kind of surprise, again?

PotKettleBlack™ much, Asses?

Posted by sgc284 at 11:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 14, 2005

Thanks.

Unique Visitor™ number 30,000 stopped by about 90 minutes ago, at 20:14:17.  Came from the Comcast domain.

From the bottom of my heart, guys - thanks very much for your patronage this last year-and-a-half.  I'm very grateful you guys choose to make Spatula City BBS! a part of your day.

Posted by sgc284 at 09:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Comments, we get comments...!

Y'know, Denizens, I'm not just "nationwide" like the old ZZ Top song says - Spatulaism is being spread throughout the world. 

Most of the time, that's a good thing.

Then there are the types, you wonder how they ever operate a computer.  Such is the case with one particular individual who got in at the very tail end (read:  it had already rotated off the page) of the Vladdy Pee-yewtin thread.

"So why should I be the only member of the Realm™ to have all the fun?", I asked myself.  And with that in mind...

You dont even know about the things which use to be in the world.

What do you wanna bet that I know a helluva lot more about it than you do?  That I've seen and heard a helluva lot more than you have?

I'm not a communist

Here's what I mean:  If you're "not a communist" - if you didn't grow up in a communist society, that would put you at about 20 years of age or so.

That being the case, I'm twice your age.  I grew up with Soviet missles pointed at my country.  I'm best friends with a fellow blogger who served in the Danish army, fighting communists every damned day until he migrated over here.  And you wanna tell me that I "dont even know about the things which use to be in the world"

I think not, Sahib.

On the other hand - if you are anywhere near as old as I (or older)...then you're flat-out lying about not being a Communist - because everyone who grew up in that era was a damned Communist.

So.  Your choice, bud.  Which is it?

and I'm agree with you, that the death of so many people is bad and that the communism isn't a right idee. But think more about your own history, like death of the indians, black slaves

You'll notice that we were already on the road to fixing those problems, while you boys had to be dragged kicking & screaming into tearing down that wall - and you still  resisted doing so right up until the very last moment.

I'd stake our morality up against yours any day, bud.

and the Truman doctrine, which is most evel doctrine in the world.

So much for your squealing that you're "not a communist".  The only folks set against Truman's doctrine were the Communists themselves.

Thanks for admitting you're a liar, on top of everything else.

Yes, I think it was very good that the US get the democracy into Iraq by the all democratic processes which happend there.

That's not what you were saying earlier.  You said...and I quote:

Invading the other countries isn't democrasy.

News flash:  There is no "just add water" version of democracy.  Most of the time, it has to be fought for - literally.

But death of many civilians in the beggining of the war

Okay, bud.  If you're going to claim that too, you're going to have to produce the names.  All  of the names.  C'mon, I'm waiting... (*crickets chirping*)

all these terrorist attacks isn't a good things to do. Today, Iraq is a new place were the fatatics kills your brothers.

Gee, you think that maybe that's why they call it "war"?

"Oh, I dunno? Maybe because it's AGAINST THE LAW TO NOT PAY THE TAXES YOU OWE?!?!?! HELLO??? McFLY??????"

Right.. What do you think we trie to do here???

Well, I happen to think you guys ask stupid questions like:

Why in america every year the police and FBI arrests people, who didn't payd taxes

But then, that's just me.

Posted by sgc284 at 09:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 13, 2005

Happy Birthday, Stephen Geoffrey "Skip" Crager, Jr.

(This one will stay on top all day.  Look below for new posts - today only.)

(ED. NOTE:  The following originally appeared in this space last year.  I'm reprinting it now, with appropriate tweaks.

And Skip - my son, you may not understand this now, but the reason I'm writing this has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with why you don't get to ever spend any time with me, thanks to your mother and your grandparents.

And thanks to what they're probably telling you about me, you might not even believe any of this - but it's true, and I have the documentation to prove it.

I do love you, son.  I realize your mother will try mightily to persuade you that I don't - but I do, very much.  Someday - hopefully - I'll get to show you.)

As most of you have probably figured out by now, this is my boy - or, as Denizen David Hartung has called him, "Spatula II".

Hmmmm.  "Prince Spatula II".  Kinda has a ring to it. (grin)

(Side note:  Certain excuses-for-humans in East Texas still  don't know how I got ahold of this picture.  Bet it'd be a shock to them to know that some of their "friends" aren't quite  as reliable as they'd thought... (snicker))

Anyway, today's his 3rd birthday.  It's the latest in a series of birthdays I'll never get to see.

It occurs to me that I need to again tell you guys what eventually happened with his *spit* mother *spit* not allowing me to see him.

That was resolved, and not necessarily for my benefit, either - but at the very least, neither will she  benefit.  In fact, if you get down to brass tacks about the whole thing, the real loser here is Skip himself.  Anyway, here's the story:

The divorce was granted October 17th, 2003.  A visitation schedule had already been negotiated and agreed to - in fact, I've blogged on that already.

Picking the story up from there:  I started making the specified trips to Greenville, Texas, for the purposes of collecting Skip for his agreed-to visitation with me.  Collected evidence that I was there and everything.

Naturally, She Who Can't Be Tasked To Obey Court Orders™ refused to show.

So I took my evidence and filed a criminal complaint against her.  What is not commonly known is that it's a criminal offense to interfere with child custody rights in Texas.  It's what they call a "state jail felony", lodged right in there between a Class A misdemeanor and a 3rd-degree felony.

And, had the District Attorney of Hopkins County, TX, had the balls to pursue the complaint, things could have gotten very  bad for our favorite fat-assed bitch.  You tell me  what school district would've wanted to consciously hire a convicted felon?

But - as I had partially expected and fully feared - the good ol' boy network in Sulphur Springs kicked in.  The district attorney not only sat on his hands regarding the case, but I strongly suspect he tipped off Steffi's excuse-for-an-attorney about it.

Said excuse-for-an-attorney began to harass me concerning an obscure concept called a "transistion scheme".  Theoretically, because of the so-called "estrangement" between me and my son, they wanted to get him "used" to having me around again gradually, in stages.

Of course, they failed to point out that: a) Her Doublewide Assness caused any "estrangement", and b) during the two times in 2003 this trollop was gracious enough to let me see him, he sure as Hell™ didn't look "estranged" from me.

But something else they failed to do...is incorporate the words "transition scheme" in the final divorce decree.  As a result, what was in there were dates specific and time periods specific when I was entitled to have my boy.

Dates and times specific which they ignored without fear of penalty whatsoever, as they had the district attorney in their back pocket.

Eventually, however, the evidence mounted to the point where they had to do something, else the DA would have no choice but to prosecute, lest someone in the media take note and launch an investigation (and yes, I was beginning to contact media types for just this purpose).

I was served in February with papers requesting that the judge in the original case modify the visitation schedule to include the words "transition scheme" and start with the gradual shit again.  In other words, Denizens - she wanted a do-over.

I hired an attorney in Sulphur Springs (who, thank Gawd™, was more competent than the loon I'd had previously), paid him another year's bonus, and got him to work.  We filed a counterclaim accusing her of contempt of court by failing to abide by the letter of the original agreement.

They countered with the only thing they could've - and the thing I was hoping they wouldn't:  A contempt charge of their own for failure to pay support.

See, this loon I'd hired previously had assured me that the court would set up a garnishment schedule for the child support.  Naturally - maybe this is the good ol' boy system, or just sheer incompetence on their part - the court never set it up.

As a result, Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme never got a penny from me.  So yes - they had a case.

This put me in the position of very likely being found in contempt of court, put on probation, forced to check in with a probation officer every month (and pay a $40 fee for the "privilege")...and, were I to miss checking in or paying the fee by so much as one day, a warrant could be issued for my arrest.

By this time, I'm making plans to marry the Lady Spatula and possibly move to Miami.  Therefore, I can't have this hanging over my head.  And I'll be damned  if I was going to let Her Bitchiness control me in this fashion.

With that in mind, my attorney recommended - and I was forced to agree - to deploy what I call the "nuclear option" (a slightly more legitimate version of the "nuclear option" - not this bullshit the Donks are crying about up in Washington).  It's so-called because it's the option no one wants to see deployed, since it blows up everything.

The option:  Complete termination of all parental rights to Skip.  Meaning, I would no longer have any say in his upbringing, nor rights to see him any more...nor would I owe any child support, back or future.

My attorney explained it this way:  All that is amounts to a sheet of paper.  And whether I had rights to my son or not, Her Doublewideness would have him most of the time, and she & her family would constantly be poisoning his mind against me.  This way, the bitch would lose her control over my life - and, after a few years, if he wanted to seek me out, she would be powerless to stop him, and I could then tell him my side of the story.

I deliberated for about half a nanosecond.

"Do it", I said.

Termination - which the aforementioned loon in Forney, TX said I couldn't possibly  get - was granted March 30th.

So that's it, guys.  The bitch finally accomplished her objective - she forcibly extracted me from his life.

Enjoy him now, O Fat-Assed One.  You'll have a helluva  lot to answer for down the road - and not just with him when he grows up, either.

Chew on that  for a while, bitch.

Anyway, happy birthday, Skip.  I hope you enjoy the present I sent you, and that you have fun with it.

Always remember son - I love you.  And I will, forever.

Posted by sgc284 at 11:59 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Damn!  Dammit!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rita Cosby - the hottest newsbabe on TV, in the opinion of this King & Tyrant™ - is gone from Fox News!!!

(insert multiple sobs here)

(sigh) Okay, Uma Pemmaraju, it's up to you to carry the mantle of Queen Of The SpatulaHarem™ now...

Posted by sgc284 at 11:43 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 12, 2005

Sooner or later, Instant Karma™ is gonna get these guys

Here in the Grand Metropolis™ of Dallas/Fort Worth, they have a problem filling TV programming time on Saturday nights nowadays.  (It was a lot easier when you could run 90 minutes of the Von Erichs "whuppin'" some heel during the "rasslin'" program - but I digress, as usual...)

One of the Saturday night offerings in these, the Aughts is a reality-based series called, appropriately enough, "Cheaters".

The premise is that men or women who suspect their significant others/spouses (both?  Hmmmm...) are dallying around on 'em have these guys who run the show do a little reconnaissance, usually of the video variety.  The evidence is then presented to the wounded party, and (s)he and the TV crew then go bust in on the lovebirds, whereupon chaos - and more than just a little hilarity - ensues.

It is, in its essence, tawdry TV.  It also raises a host of legal issues, not the least of which is invasion of one's privacy.  The show itself is in its sixth season, and I'm amazed that it was still going after one.  Why someone hasn't sued these guys for all their pennies is beyond me.

Anyway, it looks like the program has now caught in the act...are you sitting down?...a Fort Worth cop.

Fort Worth police are investigating a patrol captain after he was apparently videotaped in an Arlington park kissing a woman in an unmarked city car.

The woman's estranged husband says the tape was made by a private investigator for the television show Cheaters. He has been separated from her for several weeks and faces several assault charges related to incidents with her.

Fort Worth police spokesman Lt. Dean Sullivan said the department opened an internal investigation on Capt. Duane Paul, who oversees the east patrol division, after the chief viewed a tape from the show.

Capt. Paul is not on administrative leave. It is unclear what, if any, policies he may have violated.

Honestly, I'm not sure he's violated any.  I mean, cops get lunch breaks, don't they?  And if this one wanted to spend his with the woman of his choice...?  This really sounds like the mother of all non-stories here.

Oh, but it gets curiouser and curiouser from here, guys.

Cheaters uses surveillance cameras to catch people cheating on their partners.

Rafael Gutierrez filed a formal complaint with Fort Worth police, claiming that the tape shows his wife having an affair with Capt. Paul on city time. He provided a copy of the tape to WFAA-TV (Channel 8).

"He was in his Fort Worth police car, using Fort Worth police gas, Fort Worth police insurance," he told WFAA-TV.

Mr. Gutierrez's attorney says he faces two counts of misdemeanor assault in Tarrant County. He was released from the jail March 1 on $20,000 bail.

He also faces a felony assault charge for violating a restraining order that prohibits him from approaching his wife and plans to surrender to police today. He allegedly touched her when he and Cheaters investigators confronted her at a gym, Mr. Gutierrez and his attorney said.

The woman could not be reached for comment.

So basically, you've got a perp out to get revenge on the guy who took his best girl - but it turns out the asshat probably should be in the pokey in the first place for abusing that very girl.

Nice.  They don't make soap operas this good.

Bobby Goldstein, executive producer of Cheaters, the Dallas-based show that begins its sixth season this fall, said he could not confirm the identity of the show's participants. But he added that the case represents a first for the show.

"We've been hired by firefighters and police officers to find out about their spouses, but we've never had a police officer as the subject of an investigation" until now, Mr. Goldstein said.

He said the episode in question is set to air this fall.

Bob-o, care for a word of advice?

OneOfTheseDays™, you and your valiant TV crew are gonna break into the wrong hotel room and piss off the wrong fellow.

And this fellow, as luck will have it, will be armed...not necessarily to the teeth, but one never knows.

Hope y'all's HMO is paid up.

Just sayin', is all.

Posted by sgc284 at 05:23 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

Republican through & through, that's me

(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess™)

Ahem.

Picture me with a very  smug, satisfied look on my face - thanks to this:

I am: 103% Republican.

"The only way left to save the democratic ideals of the Founders is to overthrow the elected administration in a patriotic revolution!"

Are You A Republican?

You did see that, right?  One-hundred-and-three  percent?

You may bow and kiss the conservative ring, mheh. (grin)

Posted by sgc284 at 08:25 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 11, 2005

Parental rights not important, my ass.

Okay, so Chris Muir - he of the "how many times can I get a brainstem reaction outta Spats with a picture of Sam" persuasion - did a Day By Day  strip this morning that pointed to a blogger named Cathy Seipp.  As is my wont as a King & Tyrant™, I promptly went over to check out Cathy's fine work.

And very nearly had an RCOB moment at something of hers I read about fathers' rights.

"You're taking one person's life and ruining it to make another person's better," says movement leader Michael Newdow, who also laments the fact that "women can choose to end a pregnancy but men can't."

As much as I detest Mad Mikey Newdow's ugly face, I have to admit he has a point here.  Not that I wanna see any  abortions take place, but why can't the father have any say in it?  It is  his DNA too, after all.

Personally, I don't think Newdow should have any custody or visitation rights regarding his daughter, since he never married her mother (nor should he be therefore required to pay child support)

Precisely.  Here in Texas, the courts say you can't tie the two together.

Why not?  If the Doublewide Bitch isn't making the Crown Prince™ available for me as part of the AGREED-UPON VISITATION SCHEDULE - RIGHT, YOU FAT-ASSED TROLLOP...?!?!?!?!

...*?

Oh, sorry.  Lost it for a sec.  I'm back now.

...then why should I be compelled to pay child support?  The two should  be linked, for that very reason alone.  Anyway, continuing...

but he's angry that he couldn't (for instance) take the daughter out hunting for frogs late one night because her mother said no: "It's as bad as slavery."

I'd keep the daughter away from that douchebag anyway, but that's another subject for another post.

The solution, according to Newdow and his allies, is for each parent to make all decisions for the children during their own custodial time -- which might sound reasonable for a few seconds

Sorry, Cathy - it sounds reasonable for a helluva lot longer than that.  I gotta credit Newdow here - but even a blind pig finds a truffle now & again...

until you consider the real-life applications: Mom RSVPs for a birthday party or class outing but the event is scheduled for dad's time; Dad says that's his time and he doesn't feel like chauffering the kid to the activity.

Neither would I, in that hypothetical dad's shoes.  Mom needs to either clear that with the dad, or arrange a time trade-off.  That's not as hard to accomplish as you might think  it is, Cathy.

Children are reduced to pieces of property -- which is indeed how they were historically regarded (property of their fathers, that is) until the mid-19th Century.

Oh, that is such  bullshit, Cathy.  It's a matter of holding to an agreed-upon schedule of visitation, not a matter of "property".  Time spent by a divorced parent with his/her child is valuable, hence the concept of an agreed-upon schedule.  Unlike my  particular situation, most  women don't enter into a marriage for the sole purpose of having the man give her a child, whom she then takes away from him, having never had any interest in the marriage in the first  place. (But, that's yet another topic for another post.)

I suggest that any parent who thinks "parental rights" are more important than a child's best interest should be automatically disqualified from being the custodial parent.

And here is where I think you have your head planted firmly up your ass, Cathy.  I do  happen to think parental rights - especially mine  - are, at the very least,  every bit as important - but that's because I ALREADY HAVE MY SON'S BEST INTEREST AT HEART, FOR GAWD'S SAKE!!!!!   Just like his mother  - as much as I despise her - has his best interest at heart already.

And that this has to be spelled out to you is absurd and ridiculous to the absolute extreme.

Parental rights are an absurd notion in relation to children anyway.

Yeah?  Well, have your  kids illegally taken away from you by a fuckhead and have said fuckhead's illegal actions in so doing fail to get prosecuted in the "good ol' boy" court system in said fuckhead's hometown and then  try to claim that "parental rights are an absurd notion in relation to children anyway".

So help me Cthulu, you'd get your ass laughed right out of the Blogosphere - and I'd be leading the charge.

It's certainly a basic human right not be awakened several times a night by someone screaming at you -- any guard who made the same demands on prisoners that all infants make on their parents would violate the Geneva Convention several times over

No, it's not.  Not if you have responsibility for said child, it isn't.  If your child needs you, you'd damned well better  be there for that child, if you know what's good for you.

but if that "right" took precedence over the child's right to be cared for, humanity would have died out long ago.

We certainly wish that the fools who think like this  had led the way.

Posted by sgc284 at 05:27 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

A rose by any other name, etc.

Q:  What's the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist?

A:  There's a difference?

Folks, Benedict Jeffords is retiring.  (And good riddance too, if you ask me.)

So who does Chairman YEAARRRRRRRGH!!! of the Demoscum recommend to take his place?

Why, the only admitted  socialist Congresscritter on the Hill, of course.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean is endorsing a Socialist to replace retiring Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords.

"A victory for Bernie Sanders is a win for Democrats," Dean told Vermont's Bennington Banner in a telephone interview Monday.

Naturally, Dr. Howeird.  Professional courtesy, after all.  The same reason vipers don't bite attorneys, y'know.

Reminded that Rep. Sanders is not a member of his party, Dean quickly backpedaled, explaining, "We've got a few things to work out with Bernie. Bernie's not a Democrat."

What's the big deal, Screaming Flea?  Neither are you - at least, not in the classic sense.

Asked to explain what he needs to work out with Sanders, Dean said: "I'd rather tell him in person."

Quite right.  It's a little more difficult to blow kisses over the phone.

Sanders' official party affiliation is Independent, but throughout his political career the left-wing Vermonter has repeatedly referred to himself as a "democratic-socialist."

Despite their political differences, Dean stood by his endorsement, calling Sanders "a strong candidate."

Refer back to the top of this post.  Differences?  There are differences?

Posted by sgc284 at 07:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 10, 2005

The monkeys still haven't finished the novel...

Awright, so I'm prepping a couple of computers for customers of mine locally (no, sweet Denita, I haven't forgotten about you guys - in fact, your machine's pretty much done, save for a security update here & there), when Nightline  comes on and it's Chapter 21,985 in the Creation v. Evolution fight.

And for the Fox News Channel debate portion of the program - interesting how they've suddenly decided that if they can mimic the format, they think they'll get Fox's viewership, hm? (snicker) - they dust off this evolutionist fanatic from Florida State to go up against this nerd-type from Baylor.  And the fanatic is laying into the nerd, accusing him of having a religious bias and "oh, you can't possibly believe that 'intelligent design' isn't a code word for (gasp) Creationism!!!"

And the nerd is giving it his best shot, but it's clear that Georgie-Porgie Snuffleupagus has carefully (cough) orchestrated this debate so as to make the evolutionist fanatic look like the more suave, the more debonair, the smoother, the more credible of the two.

Memo to the evolutionist morons:  You people - yes, I said "you people"; get over it - have been pushing this evolution bullshit on the masses now for years.  Decades, even.  Ever since Snopes.  And you have demanded  that we believe it because, after all, it must be true!!!!!  Science proves it!!!!!

Yet, for all your blathering and bleating...you bastards still haven't proven jack shit.  You have not shown us the species of animal that suddenly changed itself into a completely different species, for example.  You have not, despite  your natterings to the contrary, shown us what you call "The Missing Link™".  And when you're questioned on the slightest jot or tittle of your screeds, your response is to malign the character of the questioner as being "one of those Creationist fanatics" - as if it were some sort of bad thing to believe in God in the first place.

Sounds to me like you've got this thing called "evolution" to the point where it's, say...ahhhhh...a religion  for you.  Fancy that.

But for all your sniveling on the subject, the fact - yes, the fact  - remains...it's still a theory.  Just as it has always been - a theory.  And just as it will always be - a damned-fool theory.

Because you can't prove it.  You couldn't before; you can't now; you won't be able to in the future.

So.  Given that, for lo these last few decades, you people have been shoving this theory  down our throats...isn't it about time that maybe - just maybe - some other theory had its moment in the sun?

Say, the theory of "intelligent design"?

It's certainly every bit as valid as this bucket of warm piss you people have been advocating all this time.

Posted by sgc284 at 09:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 09, 2005

Maybe the inmates should  run this asylum

When it comes to our "hah skrewls" (a little more Rush lingo, there), I'm as anti-inmates-controlling-the-asylum as the next guy.  Probably even more so, seeing as smart-assed teenaged punks are amongst my least favorite wastes of oxygen on the planet.

That said, I've got a pretty good RCOB going at the moment.  At the fuckheaded school admin who got his rocks off on this particular power-trip:

COLUMBUS, Georgia (AP) -- A high school student was suspended for 10 days for refusing to end a cell phone call with his mother, a soldier serving in Iraq, school officials said.

And how dare  this young snot-nosed whelp talk to his beloved mother, whom he won't see for a year - eh, you Islamonazi-felching, NEA-fellating asshats?

The 10-day suspension was issued because Kevin Francois was "defiant and disorderly" and was imposed in lieu of an arrest, Spencer High School assistant principal Alfred Parham said.

One wonders where the father was in all this.  I know for a fact that, had that been me, there wouldn't have been a sufficient number of Jawja-state troopers to keep me off that motherfucking son-of-a-bitch Parham.

The confrontation Wednesday began after the 17-year-old junior got a call at lunchtime from his mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, who left in January for a one-year tour with the 203rd Forward Support Battalion.

Cell phones are allowed on campus but may not be used during school hours.

I hope they remember that if there's ever a Columbine-style shoot-'em-up there.  That's right, fuckheads - slap the hand of little Missy as she tries to call 911 - "No, young lady, you can't use that cell phone to likely save our lives - school rules, you know."

When a teacher told him to hang up, he refused. He said he told the teacher, "This is my mom in Iraq. I'm not about to hang up on my mom."

Hell no,  he's not about to hang up on a conversation during lunchtime (when he's not in class, and thus not disrupting the school day) to talk to a mother he won't see until next year.  Where the royal fuck does this Draconian teacher get off, anyway?

Parham said the teen's suspension was based on his reaction to the teacher's request. He said the teen used profanity when taken to the office.

Gasp!  Arrrrrgh!  The assistant assfucker principal got a verbal kick to the crotch and couldn't take it!  How very humiliating!  How very unbecoming!

How very fucking appropos.

"Kevin got defiant and disorderly," Parham said. "When a kid becomes out of control like that they can either be arrested or suspended for 10 days. Now being that his mother is in Iraq, we're not trying to cause her any undue hardship; he was suspended for 10 days."

Be glad it wasn't me with whom you were dealing, Parham, you smarmy little pisspot.  You'd've gotten a lot more than a cussing out, you stupid bastard.

Bank on that.

Posted by sgc284 at 08:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 08, 2005

Open mouth, insert feet...

Denizens, in addition to the Donks being craven cowards, remember how I'm always telling you about how they constantly accuse conservatives of the very things of which they themselves are guilty in spades?

(Note to the black community:  Yeah, I said "spades".  Deal with it.)

Well, that point was once again driven home Friday by Senate Minority  (Great Honkin' Cthulu™, it still feels great to say that (grin)) Leader "Dingy" Harry Reid.

In the course of a discussion on filibusters and Senate rules

...something in which you just know  General Gridlock has just a ton  of experience...

Washington's top Democrat gave the 60 juniors a lesson in partisan politics, particularly about the commander in chief. "The man's father is a wonderful human being," Reid said in response to a question about President Bush's policies. "I think this guy is a loser.

"Loser", eh, O Dingy One?

Let's look at the evidence:

2004:  Bush defeats Demoscum Kerry, 51-48.

2000:  Bush defeats Demoscum Gore, 48-47.  Gore throws temper tantrum in court; Supreme Court slaps his sorry ass down.

1998:  Bush defeats Demoscum Mauro, 69-31 in Texas gubanatorial.

1994:  Bush defeats Demoscum Bitchards, 53-45 in Texas gubanatorial.

Yeah, that's some "loser" you've got there, Dingy, ol' boy. (snicker)

"I think President Bush is doing a bad job," he added to a handful of chuckles.

Moron, the only time Bush does a bad job in this country is when he doesn't do things the way his conservative base wants him to do them - in short, when he does things your  way, O King of the Failed Bit™.

"He's driving this country into bankruptcy," Reid said, referring to the deficit.

Now see, Dingy, on that  you have a point.  We don't like the out-of-control spending, either.

Trouble is, he's spending money on programs for which you  people have been screaming - stuff like so-called "prescription drug benefits" which are just as present in the Constitution as the words "separation of church and state".

Take out that and the latest building du jour  in West Virginia named for Robert "KKKKKKKKKKKKK" Byrd, and we might be able to cut into that deficit a little bit, eh?

"He's got us in this intractable war in Iraq where we now have about 1,600 American soldiers dead and another 15,000 injured."

Well, I realize you'd just as soon cave in to Al-Qaida, the Taliban and Saddam Hussein - but really, dumbass, we  prefer not having any more Islamonazi fucks fly our planes into our buildings, mkay?

[...]

After the statement was released, Reid phoned the Review-Journal to acknowledge he thought he crossed the line.

He thought???   He THOUGHT?!?!?!?  Gee, No Shit, Sherlock™???

"You know the president is in Europe, probably sleeping," Reid said in an interview this afternoon. "But I called (Karl) Rove and apologized for what I said."

Yeah, shows what a stand-up guy you are, Dingy.  Real brass cojones  you got there, chump.

Not.

UPDATE:  Imperial Torturer™ BC makes an excellent point - one I'd've made myself had I not been in a hurry to get to church:

Wasn't it a mere 13 years ago, back in 1992, that your party of "winners", Dingy Harry, owned all three branches of the Federal Gummint?  House of Reps, Senate, White House - all in the hands of Democrats.

Well, at least you still have the House Senate White House...uh, wait a minute...

What was that you were saying about "losers", Your Dinginess? (snicker)

Posted by sgc284 at 11:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 07, 2005

Passages

My brother has officially entered his Mid-Life Crisis™.

He went out today and traded in his dumpy red Ford Escort for a lease on a sleek white 2005 Nissan Altima.  Lemme tell you something - if a bell or whistle exists, it's on this car.  Wow.

And he's going on a date tonight with quite the hottie (if the pictures are to be believed), then he's got a date next week with...you guys sitting down?...a nineteen-year-old.  Yes - nineteen.  As in, one-nine.

Can I hurry up and turn 50, please?

In the meantime, in Indiana, some cowardly fuck punk-jobber is riding around in an Oldsmobile of undetermined year or color, having pretty much totalled Mama's and Delfts' three cars today.

Yeah.  Three.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one.

That stupid little coward-assed fuckhead best not come down this way, if he knows what's good for him.

UPDATE:  At any rate, guys, you can help by praying that Delfts & Mama somehow find a low-cost means of dependable transportation to get them around.  They really  didn't need to lose all three of their cars right at the moment.

Thatisall, and thanks.

Posted by sgc284 at 06:57 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

May 06, 2005

From that vaunted expert on democracy, Vlad Putin

What's that the Bible said about the blind leading the blind?  Something about both falling into the ditch?

Drudge has the scoop on a Mike Wallace interview with Vladdy Pee-Yewtin to appear on 60 minutes  this coming Sunday.  (Not that I'm going to watch that birdcage liner of a program, but that's not the point here.)

A combative Vladimir Putin tells Mike Wallace he should question his own country's democratic ways before looking for problems with Russia's. The Russian president also says the U.S. shouldn't try to export its democracy, as it is trying to do in Iraq, in an exclusive interview to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES Sunday May 8 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

Wallace gets quite a reaction from Putin by asking him about a recent change the Russian leader made. Says Wallace, "There was a time when the regional governors were elected, correct? And all of the sudden, Putin says, 'No, no, no. I shall appoint the governors.' That's democracy? That's not democracy the way I understand it," says Wallace. "The principle of appointing regional leaders is not a sign of a lack of democracy," Putin retorts. "You're absolutely wrong. For instance, India is called the largest world democracy. But their governors have always been appointed by the central government and nobody disputes that India is not a democracy," says Putin.

Yeah, well - both  of you are blooming idiots.  For the 143,161st time - we live in a representative republic - not  a democracy.

The Russian leader then points to what he believes are drawbacks to America's own brand of democracy, including the Electoral College system. "In the United States, you first elect the electors and then they vote for the presidential candidates.

That's right,  Vladdy.  And it's served us well for two centuries now.  How long has your government been around again???

(*crickets chirping*)

And the one before that?

(*more crickets*)

Uh-huh.  Right.

In Russia, the president is elected through the direct vote of the whole population. That might be even more democratic," Putin says.

Well, no accounting for the taste of the Russian people...

"And you have other problems in your elections," he tells Wallace. "Four years ago your presidential election was decided by the court. The judicial system was brought into it.

Right again, Putie.  But that's only because your ideological honeyboy, Algore, insisted on gumming up the works by refusing to accept defeat graciously and throwing a temper tantrum.  We had to get the Supreme Court to step in like the parent against the five-year-old brat he was and send him to his room without supper.

Y'see, it's called justice.  You might look into it someday.

But we're not going to poke our noses into your democratic system because that's up to the American people."

Being the Communist swine you are, Vladdy, ol' boy, you wouldn't have much in the way of street cred if you were to do so.  Pulling a STFU on this could be one of the better things you've done in your reign there.

Putin also believes the U.S. democratic system does not travel well

How would he know?  It's not like he's tried  it or anything...

and that is precisely why he was against the war in Iraq from the beginning.

Uh-huh.  And of course the Russian military technology we found buried there had absolutely nothing  to do with it.  Nothing at all.

"Democracy cannot be exported to some other place. [Democracy] must be a product of internal domestic development in a society," says the Russian president.

Again, what does Vladimir Putin know about democracy?  You'd be better off having me explain nuclear technology to you.

But pulling out of Iraq is not an option, says Putin. "But if the U.S. were to leave and abandon Iraq without establishing the grounds for a united and sovereign country, that would definitely be a second mistake," he tells Wallace.

How so, Pee-yewtin, you dumbass?  When was the first?

Stupid Commie fucktard...

Posted by sgc284 at 05:06 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

May 05, 2005

Free exercise of religion:  Void where prohibited by Hindu sniveling

Cthulu forbid that we don't give every leftist group of fucktards their chance to throw Christians under the bus.

This week's candidate is the Hindu cult religion, which is now pouting after a Christian group almost literally yanked the microphone out from under their noses.

People of all religious faiths are invited to gather today at Plano City Hall for National Day of Prayer, but to the frustration of some, this year's annual event will have a decidedly Christian cast.

Y'know, what pisses me off about that little blurb is that they say that like it's a bad thing.

Then again, we are  talking about the Dullest Moaning Snooze, which used to be a conservative paper until it ran its liberal counterpart out of town.

It's all about timing, fair play and "guidelines," said the Rev. Roy Frady, organizer of the prayer service for the city, its leaders and residents.

Absolutely.  And if you follow the rules and win the game, we tend to have a name for those who subsequently criticize you:  "Sore Losers".

Established by Congress in 1952, prayer day "transcends differences, bringing together citizens from all backgrounds" for the country's good, according to the event's national task force. And for the last two years, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Bahais and others have directed the day's prayers at Plano's City Hall.

This year, Mr. Frady beat them to the punch, reserving the City Council chambers for a noon event led solely by Christian pastors – as the task force would have it.

"I learned what the rules were, and I booked it early," said the pastor of Plano's WillowCreek Fellowship.

The city makes its meeting spaces available to the public, first-come, first-served.

"We don't discriminate, and we don't allow anyone to discriminate," Mayor Pat Evans said.

Fine and dandy.  Frady followed the rules and won the competition.  So what's the problem?

But while open to all, "at City Hall, it should be interfaith and intercultural ... inclusionary, not exclusionary," said Madan Goyal, a Plano resident and Hindu layman who helped organize the last two events at City Hall.

So let me get this straight:  Here's a Hindu fuckhead who's gotten to control the mike the last two years, excluding folks like, say, we Southern Baptists who don't buy into their belief system, so we're  kinda excluded from these shindigs...but get a Christian pastor in there, and despite  the fact that this cow-worshipping turd is invited, it's still "exclusionary"???

Give.  Me.  A.  Fuckin'.  Break.

"Frady has the right to have a function, and it's important what he's doing,"

...but that's not good enough for this next asshole - he's gonna get his shot in, too, isn't he?

but on city property it shouldn't be restrictive, said Bob Martin, who worked with Mr. Goyal on past events.

WITY (What'd I Tell Ya)???  You can have your Unitarians, your Buddhists, your Shintoists, your Chakras-and-Crystallites, anyone who doesn't  call on the name of Creator God and his son, the Lord Jesus Christ, dominate this service for years on end...but just let the Christians have one  year to promote our  message, and suddenly we're the bad guys who aren't "inclusive".

Martin, here's a clue:  How about a nice, big, heaping helping of STFU, hm?  Take your bullshit about "inclusiveness", turn it sideways and shove it up your roody-poo candy-ass.

The interfaith group won't lead a service this year because City Hall, they said, is the appropriate venue for prayers for Plano's government and people.

Mr. Frady agrees. And now in charge, he said he wants to give pastors from Christian churches large and small "the opportunity to lead their city in prayer."

Religion in Plano is predominantly Christian, the pastor said. And other faiths, he said, have had a disproportionate influence on past prayer day events.

"The last two years, they've had exclusive use of the microphone," he said of Mr. Goyal and his interfaith group.

Not this year, Mr. Frady said.

"I would love for everyone to join us in a synergy of prayer, but I'm not going to give up the microphone," he said.

"That's fine, as long as they're not on city property," said Mr. Goyal, who said he plans to attend the City Hall event.

See what I mean? The cow-fellaters have no problem shoving their  message down our throats on public property, just don't let the Christians have equal time - right?

I'd love to be down there during the service, and in Goyal's ugly-assed face.  While eating a triple-meat-triple-cheese Whataburger™.  Just as an "in your face" to the son-of-a-bitch.

F.E.T.E, as BC would say.

Posted by sgc284 at 05:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 04, 2005

"Young lady, put down those assault hi...uh, wait a minute..."

(cheerleaders)Say Gang,
Are the Wildcats gonna win this game
(everyone)HELLLLLLLLLL, NO!!!!
(cheerleaders)So who is it, say yell it, spell it...

-From "Say Gang", a very popular cheer back in the 60s/70s/80s

Okay, Denizens, here's yet another clue into how Absolutely Friggin' Ancient™ your King & Tyrant is.  This was the Numero Uno cheer which started off every pep rally and football game back when I was growing up.  And it was interactive, to a certain degree; while the cheerleaders were busy spelling the name of our school mascot, we in the crowd would alternate with them by yelling "HELLLLLLL, NO!!!" at the top of our lungs.

Well, from what I understand, that particular cheer was phased out shortly after I left "hah skrewl" (a little Rush lingo, there), to be replaced by more generic, vanilla, boring  chants.  You know, stuff like "Win the game.  Rah."

Well, as the legend goes, to try to spice things up a bit, the cheerleaders started incorporating some...ah...routines  into the act.  You know...burlesque choreographed step routines.

Well, anyway, if a certain Demoscummic state legislator has his way, then boy howdy, that's  gonna come to a screeching halt, by gum!

When it comes to cheerleaders and drill teams shimmying on the football field, how low can they go?

The House didn't answer that question Tuesday, but it did decide who should: The state's education officials, who aren't entirely sure about their proposed new role as the moral stewards of Texas high schools.

Oh, lovely.  Just lovely.  The same buffoons who can't even figure out that evolution should be taught as a theory  rather than as a fact is now charged with gauging the old-style "I know it when I see it" standard of cheerleader pornography sluttiness vulgarity "appeal".

Edwards argued that bawdy performances are a distraction for students, resulting in pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Oh, I can just see it now:  A high school teenybopper slut does the bump and grind in a midriff-baring sweater and a mini, and the dropout rate immediately goes up 40 percent.  Hell, you'd think that attendance - well, at least on the part of the boys - would approach 100% on that issue.  Get a sexy-enough girl doing it and guys from other  schools would flock to see her, thus raising attendance to 115 or 120 percent!!!

And since the state distributes $$$$ to the districts based on attendance...Hmmm, I wonder if they could recruit from Baby Doll's?

Ribald performances are not defined in the bill. "Any adult that's been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it," he said.

That particular test barely passed Constitutional muster when the Supreme Court was reviewing bona fide  porn - does this dumbass really think it'll do so this  time around?

Seriously, Denizens.  I'm all for wholesomeness when it comes to cheerleaders - I mean, the Crown Prince™ will be dealing with this very issue himself in 15 years or so.  But do we really need a freakin' law to handle this???

I mean, does the Texas Legislature Not Have Enough To Do™ at the moment?  They only meet in session once every two years, and for only 140 days at this, and this  is the best state business they could dredge up?

More to the point, have the parents and the school boards so abdicated their God-given responsibilities that the state has to stick its ugly-assed nose into this?

Sheesh...

Posted by sgc284 at 04:16 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 03, 2005

ISP connections that go 'bump' in the night

Lot of you might have been wondering where the SpatulaGoddess had run off to.

Well, fret not.  The Royal Hottie had her internet connection go toes up Sunday.  Lucklily, her noble hubby Dave seems to have it fixed.

In addition, the family's been entertaining visitors:  LC Humble Devildog has spent a couple days in Madison South (Austin).  Talked to them both this evening on their way home from Chez TwoDragons.

So, relax.  The Parenthetical Statements™ will be cranking out again in no time.

Posted by sgc284 at 10:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

(burp!)

It's no great secret that I...ahhhhh...still weigh more than I ought. (cough)

But I am NOT  taking this dare.

The burger war is growing. Literally. Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, which lost its crown as the home of the world's biggest burger earlier this year, is now offering a new burger that weighs a whopping 15 pounds.

Dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, the burger comes with 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers - and a bun.

It costs $30.

And here I thought Fuddrucker's burger was huge.

Day-um.  Just, day-um.

"It can feed a family of 10," said Denny Liegey Sr., the restaurant's owner.

Or me and my brother, whomever can finish first. (grin)

Denny's Beer Barrel Pub had offered a 6-pound burger - with 5 pounds of toppings.

In February, a 100-pound female college student became the first to eat the burger within the three-hour time limit. Kate Stelnick, of Princeton, N.J., was awarded a special certificate, a T-shirt and other prizes and Leigey picked up the $23.95 tab for the burger.

Y'know, I think I'd've paid real money to see that.

One month later, the Clinton Station Diner in Clinton, N.J., introduced a 12.5-pound burger dubbed Zeus.

So Liegey responded, and the Belly Buster was born.

Over the weekend, four men took the challenge, but couldn't get through the entire burger. They opted for doggie bags, instead.

"It's a little too much for me to handle," said Steve Hepburn, of Clearfield. "It's like trying to eat half a cow."

Nope, no way am I trying that, no way, no how, uh-uh, nope, fuggeddaboudit...

Posted by sgc284 at 12:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 02, 2005

"Young man, put down that assault burrito right now!!!"

Drudge had this blurb about a school lockdown over a...(snicker)...over...(chuckle)...well, here, you read it:

A 911 call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school.

All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped up into Marshall Junior High School.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos. It was wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on. Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,"' Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product. "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

Well, the story did mention a "possible weapon", didn't it?

You  eat a 30" burrito and see if you  don't turn into...well...you know...

Posted by sgc284 at 05:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

She changed her hair?  How do you tell...?

C'mon, Muir - I thought you said you were gonna do something radical  with Sam's hair... (grin)

Posted by sgc284 at 11:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It was fifty years ago today...(w/apologies to Sgt. Pepper)

Somewhere in Farmers Branch, Texas RightAboutNow™, a man sits in a cubicle lavishly decorated in black balloons, black streamers and black confetti - for that man "celebrates" (cough) the start of his next  fifty years on this mortal coil.

I know this for an absolute, incontrovertible fact - for said man is my dear, beloved brother, who was born this day, fifty years ago.

Happy Birthday, Mike Crager.

Posted by sgc284 at 08:24 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 01, 2005

Uh, oh.

Those of you who know me - or were here for the Saturday portion of the Texas Blogfest - know that I run a small network here at my humble abode.  I have the file/internet server, the Big Box™ in my room, another desktop in another room, and about two or three laptops going at any one time.  The Big Box™, though, is where I do most of my work and keep most of my stuff.

Last night, as I was trying to upgrade the Big Box™ to posher digs, I lost the primary drive on the machine - an 18.2 SCSI.  At first, I thought the SCSI card had crapped out.

This morning, I heard the dreadful sound of my drive...clicking.  Click...click...click...

First thought:  Oh, shit.

Hence, I'll be devoting my time to getting the Big Box™ back online, which means that posting may be a bit light.

Watch this space.

UPDATE:  As it happens, all I've lost to this point is the D: drive.  I've narrowed it down to either the drive or the connector cable.

If it's the D: drive, it's not terrible, but that's where I kept a lot of the mp3s.  Hilary Rosen might think that's a good idea, but for me it'd suck royally.

Stay tuned.

Posted by sgc284 at 10:41 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack